Scared!!!!!!

[Felix]

Hi peeps its a long time or maybe not since I have felt this way but I am actually feeling quite scared at the moment. I finally have my assessment on Tuesday for gender counselling although they haven't sent me a confimation letter which is typical so knowing my luck when I ring tomorrow they will say sorry but ya haven't got an appointment. I'm so fed up now with the whole dam thing. I just want things to get moving!!!!! I feel like my life is on hold and it can't move forward, well in this area, until things get moving. It would mean so much to me if I could just have the bloody right counselling. I have thoughts which I wish I didn't, jealous thoughts and I hate jealousy coz it is dangerous and kills things. I know what I'm thinking is totally wrong but I can't help it because of my frustration at the situation. My jealous thoughts are not around anyone I know who is on 'T' and sorry if this is so dam confusing!!!! It annoys the shit out of me I can assurre you coz jealousy sucks and it goes against everything I believe in. I guess I'll sort it in my head like I do usually. Thanx for listening peeps!!!! Felix :hugs:

[Kimberley]

To inject a tiny bit of humour... The green eyed monster might be assuaged with some pink?

I can totally relate Felix. I have been going through a tough time too but my circumstance is the opposite. The docs want me on HRT but I have been holding back because of relationship issues. It is no less frustrating because I am the gatekeeper here, not the others.:sad:

Anyway, keep the faith, I am sure all will work out for you. It always does for good people and you are definitely on that list.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[Alan]

Hope everything works out great for you :hugs: You deserve it to.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Felix

Try not to get too stressed these things never go acording to plan

I hope the appointment has been made but dont let a little delay frustrate you

If it has to be another few weeks dont worry the main thing is you are going to get the counselling you need :hugs:

[Felix]

Awww thanx Kimberley those are really kind words of encouragement and just what I need right now :hugs: I hope things work out for you too, families can be a right pain I know that only two well lol :tongueout xx

Thanx Alan Bro :hugs:

Thanx Shelly and like I said to ya earlier I will be patient as always even if it gets hard cos I really can't afford any more time off work as my prime objective now is getting to Dan in Oz :hugs: xx

Felix :hugs:

[Wolfie]

It seems all of us in the transgender world have to develop the patience of a 'saint' You have waited and waited and the frustration is all part of it but you can do it. After all you have so far - It shows what a strong character you are Felix.
Hope it goes ok - dieing to know how it goes so now I have to be patience.. O be dammed to be patience lets go get em..... NOW:D

[Felix]

Hi Wolfie and thanx for your kind words of support and understanding :hugs:

I went for my assessment as I thought on Tuesday only to find out yet again that I had been sent to the wrong place :Angry3: I felt sorry for the cousellor coz she didn't even know what transgender was. Apparently the doc hadn't even put it in the letter that thast's what I needed the counselling for. So she said she would try to find out how I could access the right peeps and would get back to me. I left and felt like my head had collapsed in on me :sad: So I became pro active and went to see my local trans suppoert group. Luckily when I rang the lady who was there knew all about what I needed and she said come straight in if you can and I will help you get sorted. I couldn't believe it she was fantastic and within twenty minutes she had demanded that I get to see a local shrink with gender qualifications so I can get refered to Leeds gender clinic :) not only did she demand intervention like yesterday she said I expect that felix wil have an appointment arranged by Friday!!! I was like OMG!!! who is this Woman she is like wow!! Anyways she rang me today to say that she still hasn't heared but will keep me informed and that she will make sure I get an appointment. I still can't believe it and my partner is so chuffed for me too :) Well thats the update for now peeps and I'll keep ya informed xx Felix :hugs:

[CaptLex]

Good for you, Felix :clap:

The squeaky wheel gets the grease, right? ;)

[Felix]

Thanx Lex, yup needed a good oil too LOL :D xx Felix :hugs:

[mylitta]

Glad to hear you have found someone who can get things moving along for you, Felix. Good luck!

[Felix]

Thanx Mylitta :hugs:

Well since last week things have been happening and this woman who has been acting on my behalf has been in touch with the local PCT team and they have sent everything to my GP so she can get me refered to a shrink who deals with gender issues and then hopefully I will get refered to Leeds gender clinic. Anyways will keep ya all updated xx Felix :hugs:

[Felix]

Hi peeps, I have finally been referred to the gender psych here in Hull I'm really pleased but at the same time nervous :heehee: will let you all know when I get a date :D xx Felix :hugs:

[Ryan]

Hi peeps, I have finally been referred to the gender psych here in Hull I'm really pleased but at the same time nervous :heehee: will let you all know when I get a date :D xx Felix :hugs:

Woohoo, great, great news Felix, I am really happy for you man :D At last I hope you ca breath a sigh of relief for a while :) And try not to be too nervous, although I bet you're all excited and stuff :D Yay!

[Bev06 GG]

Best of luck Felix and i really hope things go your way. Its normal to be nervous especially over something as big as this. Doesn't it make a difference though when someone actually sits up and not only listens to you but hears you and acts accordingly. I am glad you found this lady because whoever she was she has actually got the ball rolling for you. Part of your frustration and anxiety is because things aren't happening and just talking to someone can make the world of difference.
All the best and let us know how you get on
Take care
Bev

[Felix]

Hey Ryan my friend thanx buddy!!!!! Yup initially I was nervous but guess what I have a fire in my soul right now and no my nerves have all gone coz guess what this is for me my time is now right now and thats how I'm gonna look at it.

Hi Bev and guess wht ya so 100% right on this one. Coz by all the gods it makes all the difference when this sort of thing happens. This woman has been there and done that and I hav e 150% respect for her. She cares genuinely and for me that goes a long way!!!!!!! She does what she does without any thought of what she may gain from it coz she knows what its like to go through the system and all she wants is for others to be able to access stuff and get what they need. I am so grateful for what she is doing for me. She even said she would come to my appointment with me if she is free, omg what a woman!!! I think I am gonna take her up on it cos she really knows what I'm about and what I'm going through. Well in terms of all this not me as a whole person, if ya know what I mean. Thanx again Bev xx Felix :hugs: