Being clocked

[Emily Anderson]

Many a CD who goes out in public has been clocked at some point in their lives.

The question I often ask myself is what goes on in the minds of the clockers?

Edit: To be "clocked" is to be recognized as a crossdresser. In this instance, I'm using poetic license to refer to the person who has recognized you as a crossdresser, as the "clocker".

More specifically, when an observer comes to the realization that the person they see before them is presenting themseleves as the opposite sex, what causes their cognitive disturbance?

For example, is the CD's clothing the issue, the CD's perceived sex and/or sexuality, the fact the observer feels they have been fooled and don't like to feel foolish...

Anyone who has insight, I would love to know what you think!

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Emily

A lot will depend on the person who notices

You will get the morons that will just want to shout abuse

At the other end of the scale you will get those are glad to see you being who you are

[Emily Anderson]

Hi Emily

A lot will depend on the person who notices

You will get the morons that will just want to shout abuse

At the other end of the scale you will get those are glad to see you being who you are

Very true, and in fact that's what I'm seeking to understand. What differentiates those that shout abuse, and those who are glad to see you being who you are?

Why do the abusers shout?

What makes the the one's who accept comfortable with the situation?

[Sara Jessica]

Sounds like a question for the "thosewhoclockCDer's.com" because fortunately, most who do the clocking keep their mouths shut. But this is precisely the reason I don't like to worry about whether or not I'm read by others. I concern myself more about blending in than being obsessive about passing. Why? Because I know darned well that I have a trait (perhaps two, maybe three) that might scream "it's a guy". But as a blender, more often than not I can get around with no issues whatsoever. The outfit is best selected with the location (and weather) in mind and the hair & makeup is toned down to help blend with the masses. Of course this means breaking out the casual stuff which often creates an uproar among the card-carrying TG masses (but casual looks can be soooo much fun!!!). And those who do open up and say things that are positive outweigh the morons by at least 10-1 in my experiences.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Emily

The easiest way to sum it up is ignorance and tollerance

Some are just ignorant of the issues that TG people go through also they have been taught what we do is wrong

Some just choose to ignore us but others are tollerant or accepting because the choose to live and let live

[Nicole Erin]

By "clocked" do you mean with a police radar or clocked as in being punched?

If someone got hit with a police radar gun would they be "clock clocked"? :heehee:

[Nicole1]

Personally, I think it has a lot to do with the individual's (the "clocker") security in their own sexuality! If they are secure in their own sexuality, then we pose no threat to them. They may not understand; and may even find it to be amusing, but certainly not a threat. If they are not secure in their own sexuality, then seeing us displaying our "dual identities" may bring about hidden things within their own selves, making them uncomfortable; causing a variety of responses, from disgust to abuse, etc.
Now, I am no Phychiatrist; but that is my opinion; or as Karen so aptly puts it: imho :heehee:
I really think that those that are secure within their own selves, have no issue with what we do; and really don't bother themselves with our activities other than in a curious mode.

[TxKimberly]

I get out a lot these days. As a result I get a clocked a lot too! The very vast majority of those that have clocked me have done nothing but smile. In all the years I've been going out, and all the places I've been, the only really rude things I recall were:
In Boston, two other Tgirls and I walked into the mall. As we walked in, three or four teenage boys were walking out and one of them pointed at us and gave a very loud and theatrical laugh
In Wilmington NC I was walking down the sidewalk and about to enter a "friendly" club when a guy in his 20's walked by me, looked right at me, and laughed.

If thats the worst that has happened in years of going out, I don't think I'll loose a lot of sleep over it.

[Genifer Teal]

I have often wondered why some people feel the need to state their discovery out loud for all the world to hear as if to say "don't let HIM fool you".

I've heard it stated that men might say it out loud to asisst any other men who might be tricked into chasing someone that it not what they want. Kind of like saying "don't waste you time, that is not a woman."

I recently had a woman walk past me on the train platform and simply announce "adams apple". I was cought of guard and left curious who she was talking to and why. Had I been more at the ready, I would love to have called her on it and ask her why she said it. Then I would have taught her some manners by explaining to her how even though she has a fat but, I didn't shout it out loud for everyone to hear becuase that would have been rude.

FWIW I have also noticed that the better I look, the more people who do take issue with cding, seem to be bothered by it. This started happening more often as my real hair reached a femenine length and got better at styling it. My guess is that if it takes them a few seconds to figure it out, they realize I actually had them fooled - even if only for a moment. I think it is this momentary "confusion" which bothers them. They can't handle knowing that even for a second they thought I was a woman. Back when I wore a wig (and perhaps was less adept at makeup) it was a bit more obvious I was a man in drag. There was less likely to be any confusion in their mind as to what I was. This lack of confusion removes any resentment they might harbor for having been duped - even if only for a few secons.

I think this could be why some people feel the need to be so vocal when they figure me out. For the reasons above, perhaps they need to vent thier frustrations at being temporarily fooled.

Gen

[Mitzi]

In my younger days, back in the 70's and 80's, I too went out a lot. I'm aware of having been stared at from time to time, but never harassed.

In contrast to Gennifer's observation, my sense is that if at first glance, the cd appears to be gg, the "clocker", usually female, on realizing "she" is a "he", becomes curious/fascinated, rather than hostile. As Kim says, they usually smile when they're caught looking.

Mitzi

[sterling12]

If I understand you correctly, you want us to try and come up with "The motivation(s)" for The Clocker, is that correct? OK, I'll make a try.

Let's use for our example, The CD's chief nemesis....The Teenage Female. Most people want to be acknowledged, they CRAVE to be told they are smart, observant, pretty, handsome, cleaver, or whatever. For the teenager, to be praised by the peer group is all important!

So, along comes our naive CD, walking around The Mall, minding their own business. Our little teenager is all observant, watching every woman, trying to get ideas about how to grow up and "look the part." Looking at women and girls is what she does, pretty much all the time. And so, she "spots" The CD. What better way to gain "points" with her friends hanging out with her? She now proves she is observant, and smart! She gets "strokes/acknowledgment" from her peers, and gets ego satisfaction. The fact that she might be hurting you, probably doesn't even cross her mind. Let's face it, the words hedonistic and teenager, should share space on the same page. Her "goals" are very different from yours. She really doesn't even care, or is oblivious to your feelings.

Best defense, is a good offense! If you go right up to your "clockers," and talk to them, let them know your feelings....they are often pulled back into reality. Often, when they realize that they have hurt someone, or you won't run away, they will back off.

That's the best I can come up with, for ONE Group. Perhaps someone else can give a plausible explanation for what would motivate others?

Peace and Love, Joanie

[crusadergirl]

I don't know what your talking about. How do you get clocked? Is that when someone knows your not a girl your a clocker.

[Kate Simmons]

I dunno, tough to figure sometimes. Many feel it has to do with being exhibionistic. Most people are brought up with the so called premise of "male privelage" and can't figure out why a man would want to "emasculate" himself by presenting as a woman. This is a good opportunity to promote understanding by talking with them if possible. That usually disarms most when they realize we are not pervs seeking to devour the innocent but simply just doing our own thing but I digress.

Anyway, in the long run if we can impart to them that it has to do with understanding ourselves and our feelings, we will have accomplished something positive in regard to their image of us regardless of how small.:)

[Jonianne]

I guess I've been "clocked" in male mode once. I was in a second hand store looking at dresses and the SA says to another SA loud enough for me to hear - "It's CD friday".

I don't know if its disdain or just being snooty. I guess it's like kids, some people just have to let everyone know their opinion.

Quote by Genifer:

I recently had a woman walk past me on the train platform and simply announce "adams apple".

A person can't always tell by that. I knew a GG personaly that had more of an adams apple than most guys. She was a mother of 2.

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Emily,
I have often wondered that too but I think a lot of it comes down to lifstyle and how you have been brought up or who you have mixed with in the past. Whether we like it or not we all have prejudices as a consequence of many things, social class, upbringing, education etc etc. Some people feel the need to tell someone something that they have either been privvy to or have discovered quite by accident because it makes them feel important. There are also those who seem to delight in bringing someone else down which to be honest I really cannot understand.
I will never forget when I worked as a supervisor at a Holiday Club, one of our mums comeing in with a very disturbed 12 year old who looked like she'd been crying all night. One of my staff asked if everything was alright and the mother launched into a scathing attack on her hubby whom she had thrown out because she had caught him wearing her knickers. Within seconds of announcing that peice of information very loudly she was surrounded by the rest of the staff and some mums who all started to gossip about him. He was called everything from a pervert to a paedophile. I was horrified and as the supervisor immediately went to break up the little entourage and almost ordered the staff to stop engaging in gossip.
The thing that really shocked me more than anything was the fact that just because this poor guy had worn a pair of female knickers he was automatically branded a pervert not suitable to father his own 12 year old daughter.
The mother then went on to divorce him citing his CDing as the reason for the marriage breakdown and told everyone in our village the reason too. This poor guy had to leave the village because he was almost hounded out by small minded bigotted people who said they didn't want his sort in the village.
I on the other hand immediately called a staff meeting and informed the staff of how disappointed I was that they had contravened everything we had been taught about social inclusion, equality of opportunity and, diversity and more importantly discrimination. I put one member of staff on a verbal warning for indulging in gossip with a parent because even after the event she continued to tell the world. Now if I was to hazard a guess as to why and what her motive was I would probably have to say that it made her feel important, and for her it seemed to reinforce the fact that she was a good childcare practitioner because she watched out for the kids. Sort of putting herself onto a pedestal at someone elses expense. She also criticised me behind my back for supporting this guy which made me wonder if her gossiping was a way of telling people that she most definitely did not. I wasnt bothered and still wouldn't be I have broader shoulders than she obviously had but it makes you wonder doesn't if they take the moral high ground out of fear.
Now this was way before I met my partner and had been exposed to the world of CDing so what made me different to the rest of the staff and those mums. Well I can almost say with certainty it was my upbringing and the kind of guys I hung out with as a kid. I would like to say it was down to the very comprehensive training i received regarding minority groups and diversity within communities but to be honest the rest of the staff went on the very same course with me and i obviously meant nothing to them.
Take care
Bev

[Karren H]

Ohh Yeah..... probably more times than I want to admit too... lol But basically I just assume everyone knows.... and go on about my business... I could really care less what other's think of the way I dress....

[tamarav]

Most of the people who have "clocked" (where does this tacky term come from?) me have been simply ignorant souls. They were probably raised by some sexist pig and their ignorance simply comes out as their only method of communication.

I work with women that are as ignorant as they come (and by this I mean have a total lacking of real world experience other than their tiny little sphere of influence) . Look at it this way, people were raised by people that never really investigated life or attacked life, they merely "suffered" through it. Then those children grow up passing on the traits to their poor children. It is a never ending cycle.

Until people understand that you are a living feeling person who probably understands more about real life than they ever will, they won't change their behavior.

As I was passing a high-end cosmetics counter in a very upscale Macy's just a few years ago, one of the sales associates called out in a loud voice to her client "transvestite" nodding toward me. That really stung coming from someone who I admired (or thought I did at that point). I remembered her face vividly and when she turned up in one of the classes MAC had hired me to teach in the MAC Pro Makeup Artist series, I point blank addressed her.

She was mortified that I remembered her and yes, she clearly remembered me, even more so now. I told her I couldn't have someone in my class that was so simple minded and I asked her to leave, when she complained, the sponsers asked her to leave.

She was outside and in tears when I went out for a break and approached me. She told me that all of her friends did the same type of thing and she had just realized how utterly rude and mean her statements were. When she finally ran down and was able to stop sobbing, I told her to come to my next class which was the next day. She attended and became one of the best makeup artists I now know.

Some people will never learn and we should simply accept them as the poor ignorant souls that they are. Those that do have some interest in others can be trained to open their eyes and learn from what they encounter. Open minded people that "clock" you will simply smile and go on with life understanding that there is more to life than news, weather and sports...

The old clocked one,

Tami

[ReneeT]

Tami,

You have a wonderful outlook! If everyone was half as insightful as you we would all get along. Thanks for the words of wisdom

Renee T

[KathrynTX]

Hi Emily

A lot will depend on the person who notices

You will get the morons that will just want to shout abuse

At the other end of the scale you will get those are glad to see you being who you are

I would agree with that, but I also think there will be plenty of people in the middle for whom it will be at most little more than a break in their daily routines, a "there's-something-you-don't-see-every-day" kind of thing.

A lot of people just won't care.

[Beth-Lock]

I think some people just like to laugh at others. Like the pesky smart alec who laughed when he saw me taking a picture at a wedding, with the lens cover of my camera on. Sometimes, it may be not much more than that. If sex were involved for the laugher, the psychiatrists would classify such a quirk as a perversion!

[carolinebrookes]

I don't get out and about so much these days and I have been the one doing the "clocking"

Looking back at the last time I saw a cd waiting at the lights for the walk signal, My first thought was that it was a man in a skirt, but to my own shame, I actually laughed out loud at the poor soul. Not because she was obviously a cd/tv, but because the effort she had put in to her appearance and the way she carried herself wasn't very good.

When I realised that I had in fact laughed, I drove on and put myself in that person's position. I felt ashamed of myself for looking down on this person's demenour and realised that perhaps I don't look too clever when I do go out and perhaps have people thinking the same about me as I had just thought.
It was a lesson for me to take on board.

Another instance was recently also when I saw what I thought was a cd in a shop picking out clothes. She looked good, but then could have actually been a gg! I suspected that she was a cd and admired the way she went about her business with style and confidence. I watched for a moment and was 99% convinced that she was cd although I think my cd radar gave me that.

If I add the 2 instances together, perhaps confidence and the ability to shrug off others perceptions of ones self gives less of the game away.
That confidence means that when we are clocked, it's less frequently than without confidence and to the "clocker" means we shall perhaps stared at and ridiculed less.

Phew!

[Emily Anderson]

Wow, some really great and interesting responses so far!!!

Thanks very much to all of you who have taken so much time to think about this and relate your responses. It seems like there are quite some dynamics going on in the minds of the people that "clock" crossdressers.

Note to TamaraV: I also find it a tacky term, and have no idea of its origin. I did, however, think that it was a common term in CD circles... which apparently it isn't, based on some of the feedback.

For those who don't know the term, I have added some clarity in the first post.

Keep those responses coming. It's fascinating stuff.

[Mitch23]

clocking yeah. I go out a lot in all kinds of places and am not naive enough to think that I've been noticed. I'm 6'2" and am clocked as such in boy and girl mode. I look good, act confident and noone takes any real notice apart from the double look and smiles. Have been called out a couple of times but just wave and smile.

Went out today with another tranny who was in drab and she was looking for reaction to me but didnt find any. Did 2 hours shopping in a mall followed by a pub lunch! Have been to a theatre and to a nightclub in the past 7 days

mitch

[Genifer Teal]

In contrast to Gennifer's observation, my sense is that if at first glance, the cd appears to be gg, the "clocker", usually female, on realizing "she" is a "he", becomes curious/fascinated, rather than hostile. As Kim says, they usually smile when they're caught looking.

Mitzi

I should have specifieed in my post I was mostly referring to men. Women are usually more respectfull in their reactions than men. I hardly consider them a threat.

Gen

[Jilmac]

Maybe the clocker is just jealous because he can't be wearing my pretty clothes :D
At this point in my life I don't really give a rip what people think when they see me dressed. Luv and :hugs: Jill

[Nicole Erin]

It's like this - if someone is making a scene cause they detected a CD, they are just making asses of themselves by acting stupid.

[abundantly_me]

When you are 'clocked' it's more then likely because you are somewhat different then what they perceive as everyday. Now, this can be a good thing or a not so good thing.

Ever wonder what made them laugh? I would like to be honest here, and frankly when I see a cross dresser who overdoes the make-up, or over exaggerates certain body features (yes- I'm talking boobs) I may go oh - my, because they look a little to far out, too extreme. But yet, I also know they could be the greatest person in the world.

We tend to judge people by what they look like, and perhaps that is what we all need to work on ~ just as people, to be more accepting and tolerant of others.

[Genifer Teal]

When you are 'clocked' it's more then likely because you are somewhat different then what they perceive as everyday. Now, this can be a good thing or a not so good thing.


Why do people feel the need to say something out loud? What is their percieved benefit from doing that? Are they helping others (who might not know)? Are they defending themselves by saying "I didn't get fooled"? This is the part I want to better understand. Maybe if I ask them when it happens I can learn something. The trick is to be polite enough not to give them more concern. That might be tough.

Gen

[julie w]

The thing that bothers me is I remember all the side ways looks and very
rare remark , but not the vast majority of times when I dont notice any
looks , I think we have to face it that about 99% of Cds would not pass close
inspection ,the best we can do is not get that second look , to blend in
and if you do get noticed not to give a F&*^8
Once you can go out in the world and truly dont care what people think
you have passed .( I am not there yet) I think the vast majority of people that notice just treat us
as a visual distraction ,like the many other things we see in our daily lives

[erickka]

I think Shelly summed it up in an exacting generality. 1) Ignorance {lots of that} and 2) Tolerance {slowly becoming a litle more prevalant} If more folks engaged the brain before putting their mouth in gear, we all would be a little more comfortable out inthis big, bad world.

[Priscilla Ann]

I have never figured out why men feel the need to make rude comments to or about cds. I have never thought it enhanced ones manliness. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe clocking a cd makes one more manly.

I remember walking up to a bar to order a drink one Halloween and the guy at the bar standing next to me felt it was necessary to say to me "You make an ugly woman." Since I didn't find this to be a particularly inviting opening line, I decided to just ignore him.

[TommiTN]

I have never figured out why men feel the need to make rude comments to or about cds. I have never thought it enhanced ones manliness. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe clocking a cd makes one more manly.

I remember walking up to a bar to order a drink one Halloween and the guy at the bar standing next to me felt it was necessary to say to me "You make an ugly woman." Since I didn't find this to be a particularly inviting opening line, I decided to just ignore him.


I think those who feel compelled to make such comments likely have some deep seated insecurity about their own sexual identity. When they see a CDer they are reminded of it and feel compelled to try to reaffirm their maleness.

[Alex!]

There are many reasons, I suppose.


The person might be intrigued.

The person's religious background automatically kicks in.

The person might be offended by being fooled, even if there is no interaction.

The person laughs or is offensive because they simply do not know how else to react.

The person is unsure of his or her own gender or sexual orientation and you serve as a reminder of this uncertainty.

The person enjoys puzzles and you represent a puzzle.

The person is sexually aroused because you represent something different.

The person finds you to be a kindred spirit but doesn't know if approaching you is a good idea.
.

[Karen_Ski]

There are many reasons, I suppose.


The person might be intrigued.

The person's religious background automatically kicks in.

The person might be offended by being fooled, even if there is no interaction.

The person laughs or is offensive because they simply do not know how else to react.

The person is unsure of his or her own gender or sexual orientation and you serve as a reminder of this uncertainty.

The person enjoys puzzles and you represent a puzzle.

The person is sexually aroused because you represent something different.

The person finds you to be a kindred spirit but doesn't know if approaching you is a good idea.
.

Andrea is so correct in that may be many reasons. Personally I do not honestly care anymore if I am clocked and over the years have worked on my own self-confidence and inner peace to just fluff off the crude comments. I do have to admit with the growth of the internet tolerance for us gurls has grown. Not to get politically here, well OK Karen you are going to anyway, until we reach a society where one is no longer the "first" (put your own noun in here be it black, female, transgender, etc.) there will be intolerance and bigotry. The best is to put your best foot forward, hopefully in a nice stiletto heel, hold your head, and go forth confidently from any situation.