Am I a transsexual?

[RobynGirl]

Hi, :brolleyes:
I am 55 years old and really concerned about my sexuality. I have crossdressed when I was younger, 11 or so. I was married once and now married again and still feel like I should have been born a woman. I absolutely hate having a hairy body and that other thing.:eek:Could all of this because of loss of male hormones with age? I am so embarrassed being turned on by hot men now. I actually think of all the things i have missed in my life, prom dresses, 1st kiss and omg, my period. Has anyone else felt this strange?

Thanks,
Robyn:battingeyelashes:

[emmicd]

Yes, I believe you are transgendered and probabaly need someone to talk to about how you feel. I would imagine you are keeping this a secret from your wife and family. I feel sad that you struggle as do many other transgendered individuals. I consider myself a crossdresser who sometimes has the internal desire to be a woman. I am not really sure if I am a TS but I know I am a CD/TG.

I feel for some transitioning is just not possible. I feel I am in this category.

I hope you can find the help and support you need. Don't take your feelings for granted. You need to find a therapist or close friend to talk to. Then you need to start some form of therapy. You may eventually need HRT but that usually does not come into the picture until you realize you need to transition and live and dress full time as a woman.

Good Luck to you.

emmi

[spiroxlii]

Yeah, as odd as it sounds... I actually feel a little twinge of jealousy inside when my girlfriend complains about her period. I'm sure that if I were a genetic girl, I would feel differently about it, but right now, I just have a bad case of "the grass is greener" syndrome.

[Kate Simmons]

I think most of us have felt those things at one time or another. The important thing is being comfortable with ourselves for who we are regardless of the situation and circumstances and work with what we have. Too much energy is wasted sometimes pining away about things and saying: "Coulda, shoulda, woulda". Looking at each experience as something positive and something that can work for us is the best way to go.:)

[Sara Jessica]

The scenario you describe pretty much screams out for therapy to help you sort out your feelings but obviously that is a decision for you to make. Either way, be sure to keep separate the notion of gender identity and sexuality. These are both quite different from one another.*

[Angie G]

Find someone to talk to hun or you will be in continuous turmoil. and may become unhappy with your life:hugs:
Angie

[Tamara Croft]

A transsexual woman would never ask this question, they know, they don't need to be told 'they are'. A TS woman doesn't worry about having a hairy body, or doing fem things etc... they live a life as a normal woman. You sound like a regular CD to me. Sorry if that isn't what to hear, but being a TS woman is about knowing from as long as you can remember, it's about being a woman... not about the little things you have posted, they are just CD fantasies - and that is MY humble opinion...

[debbeelee1]

I'm 55 as well and I find myself less macho and more fem as I get older (yuck, hate that word, maybe "mature" is more like it)!

[carolinoakland]

One of my favorite sayings about the CD/TG community is " All poodles are dogs, but not all dogs are poodles." The more I read about being TG the more scared I get, one of those things is that I never had that " I know I'm a woman in mans body and I dislike my male body" surety. But there are a lot of indicators that I DO resonate with. It is imporatant for me to note here that there was a lot of emotioanal and physical abuse In my life, and I'm confroting the possibility that feelings of being TG have been surpressed out of self preservation. I found out that when I was young the psyciatrist that I saw for a little while had informed my parents that I expressed a belief that I wanted to be a girl. When I asked what my parents response to this I was told that they just stopped sending me to the psyciatrist. And I don't ever remember telling him this, of course it WAS over four decades agao, so again. What have I done to protect myself from the abuse by surpressing my true feelings? And yes, I have found a therapist specializing in Gender Identity that I'm seeing for the first time tomorrow. And that fills me with a sense of relief, and " finally!". Carol

[tvbeckytv]

A transsexual woman would never ask this question, they know, they don't need to be told 'they are'. A TS woman doesn't worry about having a hairy body, or doing fem things etc... they live a life as a normal woman. You sound like a regular CD to me. Sorry if that isn't what to hear, but being a TS woman is about knowing from as long as you can remember, it's about being a woman... not about the little things you have posted, they are just CD fantasies - and that is MY humble opinion...

you are suggesting that all transexuals go through life living as a woman?
this is massively simplistic, and in my humble oppinion, wholey inacurate.
This is a complicated subject that no one on here can answer for you.

[Nicki B]

A transsexual woman would never ask this question, they know, they don't need to be told 'they are'.

It's my experience that that's not always true... :idontknow: Many of us bury this very, very deeply over a long period of time.


'Transsexual' to me implies a need for medical intervention - hormones, surgery, etc. Your sexuality is perhaps a red herring? Only you can tell if you need to transition and if you need to cross over all the way - perhaps you need to experiment, but for your first steps, don't do anything that can't be undone - counselling would be a good place to start?

[RavenAndrea]

I have known since I was a teenager that I was a female born with a male's body.

[Deidra Cowen]

A transsexual woman would never ask this question, they know, they don't need to be told 'they are'. A TS woman doesn't worry about having a hairy body, or doing fem things etc... they live a life as a normal woman. You sound like a regular CD to me. Sorry if that isn't what to hear, but being a TS woman is about knowing from as long as you can remember, it's about being a woman... not about the little things you have posted, they are just CD fantasies - and that is MY humble opinion...

Hmmm....you are a super sweetie and I honor the fact that you are one of the very rare GGs that put up with us...but think you missed the mark on this one Tamara. Go look at Renee Reyes' website for example to see a TS woman that went thru a long period as a guy. Heck she even played College Football at a major program.

Personally I think most CDs are TS, perhaps not as far along the scale as some post op TS-Lady or Guy...but they are TS. Seems like a ton of post op TS people go thru a CD phase first. I see that all the time with the CDs/TVs/TSs in Atlanta that I watch over the years.

Science is closing in on this with theories being laid down that being Trans is the result of our brains being wired like a GGs or in the cause of Tranmen like genetic guys.

One study I luv said we are on two magnitudes of intelligence higher than the avg person. One theory is that we have male and female parts of our brain in action which gives a boost to our IQs. But that is all theory...but hang on! I think science will have an answer to what makes us tick in the coming years.

But to answer Roybn's question yeap I would guess she is TS...especially considering the early crossdressing

[Nicole Erin]

You need to decide how you want to live.

I think what might separate the CD and the TS is this - How much would one be willing to sacrafice to be a TS woman? At one time I thought I was TS but after considering the sacrafice and all, I was not willing to go thru with it.

There are CDs out there who live full time en femme, I think that is the specific category "transgender".

A therapist, unless he/she is CD or TS will not really be able to help. They don't truely undestand what CD/TS go thru.

But you have to decide, how do you want to live and how much do you really want/need to change your body? Heck with the labels or standards, you decide what is going to make YOU happy and strive for that.

[Empress Lainie]

Hi, :brolleyes:
I am 55 years old and really concerned about my sexuality. I have crossdressed when I was younger, 11 or so. I was married once and now married again and still feel like I should have been born a woman. I absolutely hate having a hairy body and that other thing.:eek:Could all of this because of loss of male hormones with age? I am so embarrassed being turned on by hot men now. I actually think of all the things i have missed in my life, prom dresses, 1st kiss and omg, my period. Has anyone else felt this strange?

Thanks,
Robyn:battingeyelashes:

Much of what you say applies to me at 72,.73, and I have heard many other tgirls say the same things.

Basically the feeling or knowledge that the YOU is female not male, is the best indication. Look back at your life for instance, did you ever like hanging out with a bunch of guys, or
enjoyed associating with the girls better?

Dislike of your genitalia is also an indication.

I don't think the decrease in testosterone would cause that, if you have had these feelings about yourself for years. PM or IM me and I will talk with you if you like.

Terminology is used somewhat differently by different people including "professionals", a transgendered woman is the same as a transexual woman, whether pre or post op according to many , and I believe the DSM IV also makes no distinction. We have Gender Dysphoria Disorder
meaning simply that we are in the body opposite to our real self's sex.
By making it a "disease" it can then be treated medically by surgical alteration to me the body and self(mind, brain?) match.

Also many people who KNOW that they are trans, whether ftm or mtf have to continue to live as their body sex because of many outside influences, that make it too "costly" in some terms or other to make the change to who they really are. And it only took me 72 years to figure it out.

[tamarav]

It seems to me that everyone that has written in is correct. Each of us has their own definition of what it is to be a woman, some get intervention from medical professionals others don't but we all share the same general thread.

Labels don't have enough room to encompass the enormity of the scale of this activity or way of thinking.

Just do what keeps you the happiest and not be led by others.

[Bonnie D]

I understand what Tamara is saying about a TS just knowing they are TS and just being who they are. I thought about that when I was young and questioned my gender. Why do I want to be a girl? Why am I praying every night that I will wake up in the morning and find that I have become a girl and can now go on with my life and no longer question my gender? But since I did not wake up as a girl I dealt with it. I kept it all hidden and lived as a the boy I was. I just knew I was different than all other boys. I still enjoyed doing boy things and was good at sports and liked girls. Fear was the big thing. I couldn't tell anyone about how I was feeling and I couldn't let anyone even question my masculinity. When I first learned about transsexuals I wondered if I could ever get a sex change. I also wondered if transsexuals hated the bodies they were in why didn't I hate mine? Maybe because I learned to deal with my situation since I knew I couldn't have a female body. I never had much money so I would just keep putting it out of my mind and continue living as I was living. I finally came out to my doctor who then referred me to a Psychiatrist knowledgeable in sex and gender issues. He determined or agreed with me that I was TS and tried to convince me to come out of the 'closet' and start dressing in public. Being an endocrinologist, he could prescribe hormones for me when I was ready. I turned him down on all counts. I would lose my family if I did any of this. I did leave my family to live on my own but I still have almost daily contact with them and only my wife knows why I really left. As long as I am not public about anything and I do not start making physical changes to my body then I can continue to be in their lives as best as our separation can allow.

So I am somewhere on the spectrum close to the TS group. I am a CD also because I am not going to be changing my body at all. I like men and women so I can be labelled - Bi sexual. It can all be very confusing trying to put a completely correct label on yourself. Mine would be a listing of labels, TS being one of them.

Bonnie

[Karen_Ski]

Hmmm....you are a super sweetie and I honor the fact that you are one of the very rare GGs that put up with us...but think you missed the mark on this one Tamara. Go look at Renee Reyes' website for example to see a TS woman that went thru a long period as a guy. Heck she even played College Football at a major program.

Personally I think most CDs are TS, perhaps not as far along the scale as some post op TS-Lady or Guy...but they are TS. Seems like a ton of post op TS people go thru a CD phase first. I see that all the time with the CDs/TVs/TSs in Atlanta that I watch over the years.

Science is closing in on this with theories being laid down that being Trans is the result of our brains being wired like a GGs or in the cause of Tranmen like genetic guys.

One study I luv said we are on two magnitudes of intelligence higher than the avg person. One theory is that we have male and female parts of our brain in action which gives a boost to our IQs. But that is all theory...but hang on! I think science will have an answer to what makes us tick in the coming years.

But to answer Roybn's question yeap I would guess she is TS...especially considering the early crossdressing

I have to agree with Deidra's comment about all CD's being transsexual but to a point. The attraction to clothing of the opposite sex, the cries for acceptance, and the desire to go further with our dressing all points to some form of transsexualism. The question is how far do we go and to what extent. I am probably 80% Karen and 20% that other "guy" and the percentage of Karen has definitely increased and grown over the years. Do I want surgery - no. Would I like to live 24/7 as Karen - definitely yes! To me the major difference between people such as myself and those who go through all the way is personal acceptance of oneself. I am content and know I am as much a woman as any GG. Do I have a vagina, of course not but is that what it takes to be a woman?

[RobertaFermina]

Deconstructing this thing.....

If I never repressed a genetic predisposition to identify, adapt, enculture, express, and experience "as a female", then I would have always experienced life "as a female", or at the very least "tending more and more toward the female." That would be the kind of TS that "Always Knew."

If I ever repressed, then I would experience a persistent gender confusion - which could be displaced into some other kind of confusion - mysogyny, for example....or I could be happy as a guy who has no inner life cause "Crap! that's a dangerous place!"

I don't relate to any of that right now....I feel like more of my brain and mind wakes up inside me when I give life to Roberta. I haven't yet turned a page, or a corner to discover that she is who I always was. I see her as a feminine aspect of any male that my culture represses, and I have unleashed. I have feelings, and episodes of feminine being, but not a "Knowing."


Not being TS, I must guess that a repressed TS would discover almost every aspect of experience and desire re-aligning in some significant way, in addition to many confusions made clear, and handicaps reframed as strengths as the repression is lifted....that would be a TS that "Now Knows."


:rose: Ramblin' Again :rose:

[sissystephanie]

This question goes back to definition.

According to the American Heritage Medical Dictionary: a Transsexual (or Transgender, terms are interchangeable!) is a person who was born biologically one sex but thinks they are the other sex! To the point of dressing like the other sex, acting like them, and in some cases having surgery so as to look completely like the opposite sex. Tamara, I really like your views most of the time, but you are wrong here on one point. TS's can be either sex so they don't all live as women all the time. However, I do think you are right that they usually know, or at least feel, that they are not the sex they seem to be physically, from an early age.

Contrary to your thinking, Diedra, not many CD's fall into this category. At least not according to most "professional" studies. Certainly those that would like to, or actually do, dress 24/7 are very definetly TS's. But those of us, like me, who dress just because we like to are merely CD's. Nothing more, or less! Not TRANSVESTITES! That is a CD (or a TS) who dresses for sexual purposes primarily! I have no desire whatsoever to be a woman 24/7. I am proud to be man, but I do like to recognise my feminine side occasionally! That is what my signature line states!

I have been crossdressing, off and on, for well over 60 years. During that time I have done a great deal of research into the subject. Including talking to a number of professionals, sometimes as a client but more often as friend or acquaintance. Being "mature" does have some advantages, especially in knowledge gained!:2c:

Sissy/Stephanie

Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

[Nicki B]

Sissy - in your opinion, what's the difference between a transvestite and a crossdresser?? :strugglin

[sissystephanie]

Sissy - in your opinion, what's the difference between a transvestite and a crossdresser?? :strugglin

As I explained in my earlier post, a Transvestite is a crossdresser (of either sex!) who CD's primarily, if not purely, for sexual gratification with a member of the same sex. Many male Transvestites are gay, or at least looking for sex with men. On the other hand, a very large number of CD's do it for the same reason that I do! Just because they like to!! Sure it may be a"turn-on," but that doesn't mean that you necessarily want to have sex with another man!

Yes, I have had sex while crossdressed!! With my dear late wife!! And sometimes she was a man (with some help!)! But that is a whole other ballgame! (Pun intended!)

So you can be a Crossdresser, and not deserve the title of Transvestite! I take offense at anyone who calls me that! I am a CD, thats all!

Sissy/Stephanie

Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

[RikkiOfLA]

I beg to differ with some of my sisters on three points:

1. There are several different definitions of transvestite. According to some American dictionaries, a transvestite is someone who crossdresses for sexual excitement. Transvestites can be gay, straight, bi, or asexual. According to British and Australian usage (and some Americans), a transvestite is the same thing as a crossdresser--it's just the older term for it, and more common some places.

2. According to many people (including most behavioral scientists) transgender (or transgendered) is an umbrella term that includes crossdressers and transsexuals, as well as quite a few people who are somewhere in between a standard TS and a standard CD. Are there such people? Allow me to introduce myself! I live full time as an openly transgendered woman. I'm not comfortable living (especially relating to people) as a man. I can dress for sexual excitement, but I wouldn't spend all day being turned on by how I dress. I have no desire for SRS, but having larger breasts would be fun. I think of myself as somewhere in between a TS and a CD. Transgender fits me best, I think. My friends include transsexuals, crossdressers, other transgenderists (people like me), as well as straight and gay people. Do I hate my body? I used to, but not any more. I've made peace with it, and like it.

Finding my own path was not easy. It required a lot of soul searching, including confronting the fact that I'll never be really a man in my head. I I knew one other person who did it my way, but had to invent a lot of the details of my own model; there was no road map.

And that's one of the things I have to say: each of us is unique. And that is something to celebrate!

Blessings,
Rikki

[CaptLex]

As I explained in my earlier post, a Transvestite is a crossdresser (of either sex!) who CD's primarily, if not purely, for sexual gratification with a member of the same sex.
I have yet to hear of a female-to-male crossdresser who does it for sexual gratification. :idontknow:

[sissystephanie]

I have yet to hear of a female-to-male crossdresser who does it for sexual gratification. :idontknow:

CaptLex, I was stating the definition generally used by professionals. Many years ago, in Seattle, I did meet a FTM Transvestite who told me she did routinely meet GG's for sexual reasons. Yes, I did ask her! Why a GG would be interested in a FTM Tranvestite is beyond my comprehension!!:eek:

Sissy/Stephanie

Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

[Valeria]

Why a GG would be interested in a FTM Tranvestite is beyond my comprehension!!:eek:
People post in this forum all the time about males and females who are interested in males who crossdress. Why is a female being interested in a female who crossdresses any more unusual?

Not that this is necessarily the same thing, but I know lots of females who like drag kings, and there are also lots females with a preference for (or interest in) butch girlfriends.

[CaptLex]

CaptLex, I was stating the definition generally used by professionals. Many years ago, in Seattle, I did meet a FTM Transvestite who told me she did routinely meet GG's for sexual reasons. Yes, I did ask her! Why a GG would be interested in a FTM Tranvestite is beyond my comprehension!!:eek:
Wow, I think I've just been insulted. :eek:

First of all, so-called "professionals" are not usually well-informed about us (FtMs), so their definitions don't mean much to me.

Secondly, I'm referring to your saying that CDs of either sex crossdress mainly for sexual gratification - I haven't yet heard an FtM say that. I wasn't saying that FtMs don't have sex with GGs or anyone else. I was talking about the clothes being a turn on.

Thirdly, you can't understand why a GG would be interested in an FtM? Seriously? All kinds of people are attracted to all other kinds of people. I presume you've heard of GGs and GMs being attracted to MtF CDs and transwomen, so why is it beyond your comprehension that a woman would be attracted to a (possibly) female-bodied guy? :confused:

Try expanding your horizons.

[sissystephanie]

Wow, I think I've just been insulted. :eek:

First of all, so-called "professionals" are not usually well-informed about us (FtMs), so their definitions don't mean much to me.

Secondly, I'm referring to your saying that CDs of either sex crossdress mainly for sexual gratification - I haven't yet heard an FtM say that. I wasn't saying that FtMs don't have sex with GGs or anyone else. I was talking about the clothes being a turn on.

Thirdly, you can't understand why a GG would be interested in an FtM? Seriously? All kinds of people are attracted to all other kinds of people. I presume you've heard of GGs and GMs being attracted to MtF CDs and transwomen, so why is it beyond your comprehension that a woman would be attracted to a (possibly) female-bodied guy? :confused:

Try expanding your horizons.

Sorry if I insulted you! Maybe my horizons, after being a CD for over 60 years, are too expansive.

First; The professionals I was referring to were PHD's specializing in gender "disorders." I believe they do know what they are talking about.

Second: I said "Transvestites" dress for "sexual gratification." That is the textbook definition of a Transvestite! Not a crossdresser who does it for any other reason.

Thirdly: I do agree with you on this. I just wasn't thinking very clearly when I wrote that post. At least on that point! I have a bum right shoulder and it has been hurting lately. Probably will have to have surgery. Hope it doesn't hinder my dressin!:heehee:

Sissy/Stephanie

[CaptLex]

Sorry if I insulted you! Maybe my horizons, after being a CD for over 60 years, are too expansive.
Okay . . . I don't know what that means, though. :confused:


First; The professionals I was referring to were PHD's specializing in gender "disorders." I believe they do know what they are talking about.
I figured that's what you meant, but it's been my experience that these people haven't done as much research on us and have some of their "facts" wrong. For example, some of these "experts" still believe that all FtMs are attracted to women.


Second: I said "Transvestites" dress for "sexual gratification." That is the textbook definition of a Transvestite! Not a crossdresser who does it for any other reason.
Okay, that I understand, but I don't think the classic definition applies to women who crossdress in male clothing. Which makes me think that, again, the definitions were not written with FtMs in mind. :idontknow:


Thirdly: I do agree with you on this. I just wasn't thinking very clearly when I wrote that post. At least on that point! I have a bum right shoulder and it has been hurting lately. Probably will have to have surgery. Hope it doesn't hinder my dressin! :heehee:
Good luck with the surgery. :thumbsup:

[tricia_uktv]

Most girld here would share your experiences but it doesn't necessarily make them transexual. I am now living weekends as a woman and weekdays as a man. Am I transsexual? I suppose only time will tell.

[Valeria]

Personally I think most CDs are TS, perhaps not as far along the scale as some post op TS-Lady or Guy...but they are TS.
I think the accuracy of that statement depends on the definition you are using of "TS". Not everyone defines being TS as being synonymous with simply having some gender dysphoria .


Seems like a ton of post op TS people go thru a CD phase first. I see that all the time with the CDs/TVs/TSs in Atlanta that I watch over the years.
This is from a pretty selective point of view, however. I can assure you from personal experience that there are many post-op TS women from Atlanta who *never* went through a "CD phase". The thing is, you've only met the ones that did.


One study I luv said we are on two magnitudes of intelligence higher than the avg person.
I've heard the claim, but I've never seen any credible data to back it up -- and I assume you mean "two standard deviations", because two magnitudes (as in "orders of magnitude") isn't very likely.


But to answer Roybn's question yeap I would guess she is TS...especially considering the early crossdressing
I wouldn't hazard a guess. Being turned on by "hot men" certainly isn't a clue, and lots of people who claim they have no desire to transition report crossdressing at an early stage.


Look back at your life for instance, did you ever like hanging out with a bunch of guys, or enjoyed associating with the girls better?
I'd be willing to stake a large sum of money that whether you've ever enjoyed hanging out with guys or associating with girls is not a definitive test. Some cis females enjoy hanging out with guys, and some of them don't like spending much time with a group of girls. It doesn't make them one iota less female.

[Delila]

Yeah, as odd as it sounds... I actually feel a little twinge of jealousy inside when my girlfriend complains about her period. I'm sure that if I were a genetic girl, I would feel differently about it, but right now, I just have a bad case of "the grass is greener" syndrome.

I am almost always jealous when my wife complains about her period. She tells me "you can have it any time if you can figure out how." I always say I wish. I don't think it makes you transexual to feel a wish to be more feminine as long as you don't feel that you can't go on as a man.

[Empress Lainie]

I have yet to hear of a female-to-male crossdresser who does it for sexual gratification. :idontknow:

Read Crossing by Deidre McCloskey. before her epiphany she did it for years.

note: I never did any crossdressing except once to see if I was passable, just before my epiphany and overnight transition to 24/7.

Not sure if my halloween day as a girl when 12 counted.

EDITED: My mistake, Deidre was like me MTF, so I think Capt Lex is correct, there aren't any.

[Steph Butterfield]

Hi Robyn,

TS girls and boys self identify as transsexual at various stages of life, sometimes like me at 3 years old, but for some in their 20's or even older, its different for each individual.

You'll know at some point in your life if you are TS, but seeing a gender psychiatrist or therapist can help you to know if transition is appropriate.

One thing is for sure, there is no "one size fits all" model for transitioning, we are as diverse as society itself in terms of age, race, sexuality etc, and long may that continue.

I wish you well in your own personal journey

lots of love

Stephanie

[stevie b]

wow That started some thinking, I am even more confused now. I don't who I am. Love female company, hate male company, dislike my old `boys`, hate looking in the mirror when in male mode, fantisised when wounger about being a girl. I am not attracted to men, would I live dresses full time, probably if I could, would I have surgery, god knows.
Perhaps it's just a phase, been over 40 years now so perhaps not.
xx:praying:

[Bev06 GG]

Yeah, as odd as it sounds... I actually feel a little twinge of jealousy inside when my girlfriend complains about her period. I'm sure that if I were a genetic girl, I would feel differently about it, but right now, I just have a bad case of "the grass is greener" syndrome.

Tee hee, sorry I know thats not funny but it did raise a smile from me. Some women never suffer from period pains, and others are in agony for days. Believe me that is one side of being female that I would definitely swap with you girls because there have been months when It has put me in my bed for a couple of days.
Take care
Bev

[AngharadD]

Wow, I think I've just been insulted. :eek:

First of all, so-called "professionals" are not usually well-informed about us (FtMs), so their definitions don't mean much to me.

Secondly, I'm referring to your saying that CDs of either sex crossdress mainly for sexual gratification - I haven't yet heard an FtM say that. I wasn't saying that FtMs don't have sex with GGs or anyone else. I was talking about the clothes being a turn on.


1. Ttly
2. For the sexual-gratification cding, I know two ftm crossdressers who did it (one also did drag) - one was heteroflexible bicurious, the other was a lesbian. And I know a trans guy who went on t recently and was ashamed of it for a while because he felt it made him not a ts...
3. I have nothing ;)

As for the OP and being TS - some of what Tamara says makes sense, in a way... But not entirely.
Pick whichever gender you see yourself as: man, woman, anything else (the list can get quite long)... Would you see yourself living your daily things that way? Fully? See yourself as this gender in jeans and tshirt? To the extent that presenting as your assigned gender would probably, in fact, be more performance/drag/caricature in your mind? Or something you would even never do?


Then maybe you are...
Only you know.
IMHO - There is a life to be lived - the rest is theory.

[Diane Elizabeth]

I am a 55yo cd. As a kid I tried on my mothers things and got a kick out of it. And had to dress for a skit at a camp once. But mainly I didn't know what I was and tried to be a man for nearly 40 yrs. Never feeliing right and not understanding why. When I was married I didn't cd, but I loved to feel the wives' clothing material. I continued trying to be a "man" (grew up with John Wayne as my hero), but I was not comfortable. I tried to fit in with other man conversations. Not very successfully. I always preferred to be in on the womens conversations. Never understood any of this before. Now I am beginning to see the puzzle pieces fit in better. I am still not sure if I am just a cd or a tg. But I am at a better place in my life now that I have found a direction to go. Still have a lot of problems (bumps in the road). Thank you all for such a great forum. This is almost as good as a therapist. Dylen

[TxKimberly]

Well what the hell, I'll throw my humble opinion out there as regards your post and some of the comments that followed it.

Only you can answer that question. No one can make that call for you. Only you can say how you perceive yourself.
I see a lot of talk about seeing a therapist, or what ever the name of the day is for them. I know I'm gonna get flamed for saying this, but personally think they are a crock. They take a HUGE amount of your money to talk you around to admitting things to yourself that you already know. Save your money and just take a good, hard, honest look inside yourself. You don't need to pay a fortune to some PHD so he can tell you something you already know about yourself.

[CaptLex]

Read Crossing by Deidre McCloskey. before her epiphany she did it for years.
But she's MtF, right? Not FtM?

[Nadia-Maria]

I understand what Tamara is saying about a TS just knowing they are TS and just being who they are. I thought about that when I was young and questioned my gender. Why do I want to be a girl? Why am I praying every night that I will wake up in the morning and find that I have become a girl and can now go on with my life and no longer question my gender? But since I did not wake up as a girl I dealt with it. I kept it all hidden and lived as a the boy I was. I just knew I was different than all other boys. I still enjoyed doing boy things and was good at sports and liked girls. Fear was the big thing. I couldn't tell anyone about how I was feeling and I couldn't let anyone even question my masculinity. When I first learned about transsexuals I wondered if I could ever get a sex change. I also wondered if transsexuals hated the bodies they were in why didn't I hate mine? Maybe because I learned to deal with my situation since I knew I couldn't have a female body.


Could have written that. It’s exactly my own story and how I felt.





So I am somewhere on the spectrum close to the TS group. I am a CD also because I am not going to be changing my body at all. I like men and women so I can be labelled - Bi sexual. It can all be very confusing trying to put a completely correct label on yourself. Mine would be a listing of labels, TS being one of them.



Here is the difference between both of us. I am somewhere on the spectrum, nevertheless not that close to the TS group. Maybe, partly or especially, because I don’t like men. I like women so that somewhere I’m happy with remaining a guy ...

Nadia

[maid phylis]

dear robyn..yes you are like all of us and i also started late even that i knew i was different,i should have started earlier but as things go i am glad i finally realized that i was a tranny and i learned to live with it.:love:phylisanne

[abundantly_me]

Hi, :brolleyes:
I actually think of all the things i have missed in my life, prom dresses, 1st kiss and omg, my period. Has anyone else felt this strange?

Thanks,
Robyn:battingeyelashes:

Trust me, any male, that idolizies the idea of a period, or the fact that they didn't have one is ummmmmm well I won't say.

If you regret the idea of never having a period because then you wouldn't be able to bare children, now that idea I can understand.

Trust me, outside of that fact, you don't see females jumping for joy that they have their period. In fact, speaking for myself I'm thanking my lucky stars that I'm finally entering that phase of life where it will be a thing of the past. No more discomfort, no more worries, heck I could just jump for joy! :jumping:

[trannie T]

You ara what you are. none of us are the same which makes it difficult or impossible to put an individual into one specific category. If you are confused and this confusion causes you some personal turmoil think about finding a good therapist. Good luck to you, I hope you find some inner peace.

[Bev06 GG]

So you can be a Crossdresser, and not deserve the title of Transvestite! I take offense at anyone who calls me that! I am a CD, thats all!

Sissy/Stephanie

Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

Ooooopps I'll have to remember that Stephanie. I always call my CD friends my little trannies. Its all done in fun and with great affection but I always thought a CD and a Transvestite were one and the same.
Sorry folks.
Bev

[Bev06 GG]

Robyn if its causing you concern then go and see a therapist. Make sure its someone of reputable reputation though because there are some real wackos around.
And try and go with an open mind. Talk to others who are in a similar situation, there is a girl on here called Carolineoaklands, hope ive got the name right. She is pretty much in the same position as yourself and she has a very healthy attitude toward it all.l
I dont want to sound patronising but it could just be a time of life thing, some CDs go through a stage of confusion as to their identity and it could be that this is nothing more than that.
I wish you well and hope you soon have peace of mind.
Take care
Bev

[kendra o'riley]

Hi, :brolleyes:
II actually think of all the things i have missed in my life, prom dresses, 1st kiss and omg, my period. Has anyone else felt this strange?

Thanks,
Robyn:battingeyelashes:
Sweetheart -
As you can see, from the posts above,you live in a spectrum. (Sorry Tamara Hood - your aim ain't true on this one... whizzzzzz) For those of us who have sought professional counseling, we've been told a myriad of things. I've been told that I am "high functioning" TS - which means that I'm a black belt, james bond, superfly, king fu expert at suppressing my true feelings - which is probably how we all have to manage our daily lives. Some form of denial or suppression, unless we are dressing for work everyday. (You know you look thru the closet and go ugh... why can't I wear a skirt today?) But Some of our sistahs have taken the plunge that we all long for, or fantasize about, or merely made peace with, or found the perfect balance with... it's a spectrum.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it Ms. Phelps, is to find the balance, peace, or tipping point for you. And no one can make this decision for you. Nobody is playing with the same cards as you. No website, bulletin board or chat over wine with your homegirls is going to do the trick - cuz sis... the question that we all have to face no matter where we are on this spectrum is... "no matter what I am or may be, TS TG CD TV or BFD... what am I going to do about it?"

Give yourself the time and quiet space to look within -

[charlie]

Hi, :brolleyes:
I am 55 years old and really concerned about my sexuality. I have crossdressed when I was younger, 11 or so. I was married once and now married again and still feel like I should have been born a woman. I absolutely hate having a hairy body and that other thing.:eek:Could all of this because of loss of male hormones with age? I am so embarrassed being turned on by hot men now. I actually think of all the things i have missed in my life, prom dresses, 1st kiss and omg, my period. Has anyone else felt this strange?

Thanks,
Robyn:battingeyelashes:

Talk to your doctor. Perhaps one of the testosterone patches will give you some type of relief. I used them at age 55 and had pretty good results. A bit more hair and beard, but it evened out my personality quirks a bit. Then I had to stop due to concern about prostate cancer that exists in my family. if your family history is good, try it.

[Nicki B]

As I explained in my earlier post, a Transvestite is a crossdresser (of either sex!) who CD's primarily, if not purely, for sexual gratification with a member of the same sex. Many male Transvestites are gay, or at least looking for sex with men. On the other hand, a very large number of CD's do it for the same reason that I do! Just because they like to!! Sure it may be a"turn-on," but that doesn't mean that you necessarily want to have sex with another man!

But for much of the world, the terms are used interchangeably - there is no real difference between them (they mean exactly the same thing).

All who identify as TV (for example Eddie Izzard) do not identify as gay, nor do it 'just to have sex with men' (I've never met anyone who dressed solely to have sex with men...).

If you hold on to this distinction, I'm afraid you're going to find yourself 'insulted' pretty regularly? :sad:

[Empress Lainie]

quote[I'd be willing to stake a large sum of money that whether you've ever enjoyed hanging out with guys or associating with girls is not a definitive test. Some cis females enjoy hanging out with guys, and some of them don't like spending much time with a group of girls. It doesn't make them one iota less female.[/quote]

Only using my own experience which may not apply to others. I never liked boys or men in groups, and still am rather anti-male.

[Cindi Johnson]

Like others who've posted replies here, I tend to think all CD's are TS to some degree. It's not just the clothes. At a young age (pre-teen and early teen) clothes take on such importance that it may seem to be "just the clothes", but in my experience, over time, the TS pull becomes ever stronger. Which doesn't mean that SRS is inevitable. Most of us won't take that road (maybe because we are too big to ever be a convincing girl, or we lack the money, or family bonds are too strong, or (my situation, and likely most common) we just slipped into a male life (job-wife-kids) early in life and will not simply chuck it all for a vagina.

So, does that mean I'm not TS? That I'm "just a CD"? Whatever.... I'm not into labels all that much.

I do know that as far back as I can remember, kindergarten and before, I've always longed to be a girl. A pretty girl. Unfortunately, such was not in the stars. Not for me.

I'm about your age, Robyn. Now I'm out as a woman more days than not. I mostly pass. I've admitted to myself that I'm TG and always will be. It's a lot easier to simply be TG rather than get into an endless and fruitless debate over whether I'm a crossdresser or a transexual.

Cindi Johnson

[Empress Lainie]

I am a 55yo cd. As a kid I tried on my mothers things and got a kick out of it. And had to dress for a skit at a camp once. But mainly I didn't know what I was and tried to be a man for nearly 40 yrs. Never feeliing right and not understanding why. When I was married I didn't cd, but I loved to feel the wives' clothing material. I continued trying to be a "man" (grew up with John Wayne as my hero), but I was not comfortable. I tried to fit in with other man conversations. Not very successfully. I always preferred to be in on the womens conversations. Never understood any of this before. Now I am beginning to see the puzzle pieces fit in better. I am still not sure if I am just a cd or a tg. But I am at a better place in my life now that I have found a direction to go. Still have a lot of problems (bumps in the road). Thank you all for such a great forum. This is almost as good as a therapist. Dylen

I was much like you and becoming myself as a woman solved all those mysteries I wondered why about.


Well what the hell, I'll throw my humble opinion out there as regards your post and some of the comments that followed it.

Only you can answer that question. No one can make that call for you. Only you can say how you perceive yourself.
I see a lot of talk about seeing a therapist, or what ever the name of the day is for them. I know I'm gonna get flamed for saying this, but personally think they are a crock. They take a HUGE amount of your money to talk you around to admitting things to yourself that you already know. Save your money and just take a good, hard, honest look inside yourself. You don't need to pay a fortune to some PHD so he can tell you something you already know about yourself.


You are so right Kimberly. I never felt any need to see a therapist or psychologist, I KNOW who I am. But the group has been a great source of inspiration and information for me. I finally realized my true gender from another member of the group who brought me to the group for the first time.


But she's MtF, right? Not FtM?

Sorry about my error CaptLex, you are right, I agree there are none I ever heard of.


Ooooopps I'll have to remember that Stephanie. I always call my CD friends my little trannies. Its all done in fun and with great affection but I always thought a CD and a Transvestite were one and the same.
Sorry folks.
Bev

Bev, tranny can be either transvestite or transgender, transexual. I never object to that term or tgirl applied to me, but (please no offense intended, you all) I would be offended if any ever thought of ME as a guy in a dress, or a male CD, since I am definitely a female person.
( I have no bad thoughts toward any male CD)