Heavy thinking lately...

[Shayna2008]

I have been thinking a lot about things lately concerning living as Shayna. I have been seeing a psychotherapist concerning mainly my CD'ing. She stated that I meet more than enough requirements to be diagnosed with gender identity disorder (we actually went through the symptoms/requirements in a manual). This has had my mind racing with a host of things every since.

Everything from telling my parents to the implications of living full time to possibly taking hormones someday. Half of me it seems is scared (mainly what this could mean for family, and my safety as an individual possibly living full time someday).
The other half of me wants to move ahead to dressing more and learning mannerisms, gaining confindence, etc.

I noticed none of me wants to stop, or is saddened by her diagnosis. I was actually relieved and quite happy when I found out!

My parents are pretty cool, but the CD issue hasnt been brought up for a while, and I'm worried what could result from going to a thing not talked about to "it's likely I have gender identity disorder" in one conversation. I know I don't have to tell them this instant, but it is bugging me. I have told practically all of my friends, which have been so welcoming and accepting.

Sorry for the long post but my mind's been busy lately :straightface: . If anyone out there who has gone or is going through HRT is interested, I'd like to chat sometimes. I have thought about HRT on my own, and with my therapist, but I'm quite sure it would benefit me to hear from someone who's actually expierenced/expierencing HRT...so I could consider things I hav'nt yet considered, as well as get a sense of the realty of it better. I have no intention of self-medication - if I do this someday it will be legally done through doctors, etc.

[Kristen Kelly]

Don't worry yourself too much, just put 1 foot in front of the other and take 1 day at a time. Things will work out.

[TGMarla]

Well, Shayna, I think every one of us here has some degree of Gender Identity Disorder, but to actually take the plunge into HRT and going full time with the Real Life Test is a very big step, and one that is likely particularly hard to back away from, especially if you get breast augmentation or facial reconstruction. There's a lot more to it than just the familial, career, and friends implications, too. The most important one is you. I hear often the girls here gushing about going full time, but actually doing it is another thing altogether. I know that in spite of the fact that dressing and presenting as a woman preoccupies my mind on a daily basis, I still need a break from the whole female thing now and then. I dress for several hours, and I'm usually ready to put my stuff away for awhile. So be sure to be sure in your heart and your mind that this is really what you want, and really what you need before you dive into deep waters. This isn't something to experiment with. It's something to live with for your entire life. Choose well.

[Shayna2008]

I plan on going with babysteps with this. I dress when I can, but have been wanting to dress for longer periods of time and get more of a feel for living the real-world role of Shayna. Thats the test I wanna do before anything ...live as Shayna for a day, then a weekend, and eventually a week when I can. My thinking has been that by actually spending time living as Shayna in a normal role, I can make a better decision about if I do in fact want to go down this road.
(In other words, spend a weekend as Shayna or even a week whenever I can, and see if I am indeed comfortable and wish to live it longer, or see if I get tired (novelty wears off) and go from there. That I feel will give me a useful answer of what exactly I want)

[tvbeckytv]

i agree with tgmarla on this one, as she says, most on here have some degree of Gender Identity Disorder. a diagnosis of that does not mean you are transexual.
Your idea of trying it to see if you like living that way smacks more of a concious choice of preferance on your part... but you know best on that.

i have never understood this life test thing...if you really are ts, who cares if you can live and function as a woman in society...you need to have a body to match your mind more than wearing a dress in public.
i know more than one ts, on hormones and post surgery, that still present as male to the outside world just so they can have a quiet life...but they are happier in themselves that they have a more appropriate body.
to me, thats what being transsexual really is.

btw..those just my general views...im not speaking specifically about you shayna