Magic Word or Words

[Amy Hepker]

Hi Everyone,

I have a question for anyone and everyone.

What magic word or words did you use to get your SO to accept both sides of you???

Maybe it was not totally but, maybe she/he is working with you now.

Please tell us so maybe, just Maybe, it will work for some of us too.:hugs:

[LisaElizabeth]

Sorry, no such thing as 'Magic Words'!
It takes a soul baring honesty to sit down and shaking like your guts are going to fall out, have a 'heart - to - heart' talk with your loved one.
DOes it go over well? Not usually! I can get quiet, or loud or somewhere in between.
The biggest thing I remember was that it wasn't as bad as my imagination made me think it would be!!
My wife and I discussed it on and off for many months afterward. Was she ALWAYS accepting?? No way!! We started out with her not wanting to know when I dressed and it took 27 years to get to the point where she is accepting enough to go out with Lisa for the evening.
We shop for Lisa and her when we are out now, but it wasn't always that way.
When you finally develope the courage to talk to her, make sure you LISTEN to her and her concerns!!! Communication IS a two-way street and you have to be willing to LISTEN to her fears and concerns along with her listening to you.
Otherwise I think each person does it by thier own feeling.
Be brave, she will not bite you!!
Lisa Elizabeth

[Sara Jessica]

How about what magic word I'd like to use since I'm in a situation of tolerance, partial acceptance but non-participation...

PLEASE!!! :rose2:

[Babette]

The only magic I used was being honest and straight forward. My biggest problem was not giving her enough credit for being the acceptive and supportive person she always was beforehand. My insecurities were really years of my lost opportunities. Shame on me.

Babette

[TGMarla]

What magic word or words did you use to get your SO to accept both sides of you???
Ha! You tell me, and I'll use 'em! She's still not on board, but I'm eternally hopeful.

[Tina Dixon]

There's a magic word?

[Angie G]

No magic words Amy my wife knew my dad dressed. She knows where it came from and knows it's a part of me and me who I am. I lost Bypassed a lot of years not knowing she would accept Angie in her life.:hugs:
Angie

[Jenny Beth]

No magic words here either. In short I'd have to say that being honest with her about how I needed to explore this side of me was the beginning of us both learning that gender isn't as black and white as society teaches us. Acceptance comes from understanding and a willingness to see through the clothing.

[debbeelee1]

My CD'ing just sort of happened with me and my SO, so no magic words were needed back then. My magic words now are "Let's go clothes shopping!". When I came out to my SO's daughter J who lives with us, I told her we we going out to a drag show and I would also be dressing as a woman and would she like to go! It was hard, but she giggled just a little and said sure she'd like to go! Later that night I dressed in a very short, tight black dress, black hose, 7" platforms, make up and a wig just to show her how I normally dress at home (she did say I looked hot!) and changed into more casual jeans before we went out. We had fun. J is very open minded and many gay and lesbian friends. I educated her as best as I could about CD'ing and explained I wasn't gay or bi (well I am her mother's SO), it was just something me and millions of other men do. It's been a week now and it's no big deal around the house now. The big thing is my trust in her because I don't think I'd ever come out to my son of daughter. They live far away, so it's not really an issue. Telling J was not real difficult, but I'm glad I'm out! We may go out again tonight and J may take a girlfriend with her, S is almost like a sister to J, so I have no problem coming out to her. We'll see how that goes! :drink:

[Amy Hepker]

I know honesty should work, but it does not always. I can just hear GGs friends, "OMG you poor woman how could you put up with that???" I think Peer pressure has a lot to do with it and also relatives.

[Joanne f]

I just said, if you don`t let me do this i will scratch your b***y eyes out :heehee::devil::heehee:







joanne

[abundantly_me]

In short I'd have to say that being honest with her about how I needed to explore this side of me

The magic words were "I need to be honest about ", when someone is willing to bare a part of their soul, thier being to you. How can you deny them?

:hugs:

[Carroll]

"deal with it or leave" :D:D:D:D

[Sarah...]

Honesty is the word. With myself first, then my SO. Thereafter far too many words to list here - we've been talking ever since!

Sarah...

[charlie]

No magic words here. Just words and little magic. lots of grief and nothing to show for it! My SO is still with me, but Charlie is definately not with her. Hear no evil, see no evil.

[donnasweetheart]

I am an accepting SO. I accept him unconditionally, how or why I am not 100 % sure, but I will tell you there is no magic word. I believe a lot of the accepting is who we are as people. I know and understand that he is a cd and always will be. Nothing either of us can say or do will change that fact. I am not here to judge. Donna is a part of him, it is who he is.

If I couldn't accept it then he would sneak and lie, he would just do it behind my back. I couldn't live like that. The deceit and mistrust would destroy me and our relationship. He is a good man that treats me with love and respect. So why would I not accept him and make him hide and lie to me? He is a man that likes to dress as a woman sometimes, he is not a murder.

We both have grown in this relationship, he has learn to trust me and to share Donna with me. I sometimes think that is why I am so accepting too. He trust me. Sometimes I think it's because it's our little secret that no one knows It is something special just for the two of us.
It doesn't matter if he is in the male or female mode he is a good, loving person.

[Amy Hepker]

WOW!!! Donna, I wish all GGs could see it that way and make the best of a Great thing. I mean we are very special people who just want and need to be ourselves. We can see things from both sides.

Thank You for your input.