Feeling so behind...

[Shayna2008]

I know many things about the crossdressing community and its resources, as I have been involved for several years now. Lately I have been wanting to learn the finer points of being in a female role, like make-up and mannerisms, posture, and the like...all the other things other than the dressing itself. I feel a need to do this, but it's depressing because I have so much to learn. Not sure where to start and I feel like I'm so behind.
As I stated before, I want to learn these things, for my own confidence, and when I go out as Shayna I can act as well as look the part. Anyone know any resources?

[trannie T]

There are all kinds of resources available. Do not be too hard on yourself, there always will be things to learn, just relax and enjoy the ride.

[Dana]

One of the things you need to understand is that "feminality" is a very complex thing. Girls, women are "culturalized and socalialed" (as are boys/men) into the current concritise as to what a "woman" (or man)

That's all relative, given religioious believes, cultural beliefs.

[Jamie S.]

Well I've just started applying beauty makeup on myself these last few months, so I understand how it can seem overwhelming. Just remember that the things we most commonly associate with femininity aren't necessarily as important as we think. It's more important that you carry yourself confidently than to be an overtly feminine caricature of what women are expected to be. Just be yourself, and do the least you feel you have to do in terms of mannerisms and posture to help you pass. If you try to "act" female, you tend to draw attention than if you act like yourself, just with a feminine touch.

I'm kind of half asleep, so hopefully that made sense.

[tamarav]

As overwhelming as it may seem now, just remember that girls have years to practice their feminine wiles before being out there. They have a host of peers and friends that provide their own criticism and learning curve.

You are not behind, you have just had less time to learn all this. It all makes perfect sense as time goes on, you just sound like I did, wanting it all at once. Usually that is too much information to assimilate at one time and you overload. Start basic and increase your acceptance at each step. Makeup and deportment are a learned behavior that honestly take some time.

Spend some time with other CDs and find out how they do things, go to meetings or conventions. They really do put things in perspective very fast. Get help where you can, makeup artists, hair stylists, wig stylists, etc. You will learn from each of them. Don't worry, it will come to you...

Your sis,

Tami

[deja true]

Shayna, there are countless resources available, especially as can be found through this site and the references and links that can be found here.

But the very best resource has been available to you all along!

It is the 51% of the world's population that we see and interact with every day!

It's easy enough to observe how women dress, but you have to start paying attention to how they act as well. How they carry themselves, how they interact with other women, with men, with everybody.

Our desire to emulate is, for most of us, a matter of respect. Pay attention to the gait, the gestures, the tilt of the head, the stance at rest, the folding of the legs when sitting, the handling of objects, the forms and manners of address to others, facial expressions and the subtleties of eye contact, the thousands of little differences that tell you that the person you're lookng at, that you are talking to, is a female. Many are obvious, but most are subtle.

Understand that the actions of women are mostly a learned behaviour, that originate from their very earliest childhoods, impressed upon them by their mothers and sisters and peers. But also remember, that some are the result of anatomy.

Practice, observe, practice!

Women appear and act feminine without even thinking about it. Our goal, I suppose, is to learn how to do the same. But instead of 18 or 20 years to do that, we are in a rush to accomplish that goal in a much shorter time. And to make it more difficult, to do it while often also maintaining the facade of our own masculine imprinting!

Oh, and if you have any GG confidants...ask for help! They'll be flattered!

[debbeelee1]

Shayna, this is a process, not a race! Let the process be fun, it never ends.

[Sandra]

Shayna, this is a process, not a race! Let the process be fun, it never ends.

What a good way of putting it :)

Shayna

One thing you could try is to sit and watch GGs for the mannerisms, posture etc. Sit in a mall having a coffee and just watch how they go about their business.

As for makeup if you can have a makeover done to see what suits you, then I'm afraid it's practice, practice and then some more.

[Shayna2008]

Thanks for the replies everyone :). I'll take it slow. My GG friends are very accepting of me and my GF said she would help teach me things. It's nice to have such support here, thanks again everyone!

[gennee]

I'm still learning, too. Focus on one thing and learn all you can before moving to the next.


Gennee

:daydreaming: