$1,000,000 Question

[Deborah Jane]

Am i stuck with this for life, or is there actually a way of stopping the urge to crossdress?

[Amy Hepker]

I will collect the money now. You are stuck for the rest of your life.

[jasmine57]

I have to agree with Amy, we're all lifers.

[Nikki A.]

Deal with it, it's worse than heroin.

[Phyliss]

Always have been, to one degree or another, probably always will be. Might as well have fun while I'm at it. It ain't gonna stop, learn to enjoy it.

[Tamara Croft]

Well that begs another question... why would you want to stop?

[Deborah Jane]

Well that begs another question... why would you want to stop?

Coz it,s screwed my life up once and it,s about to happen again!!

[deja true]

Coz it,s screwed my life up once and it,s about to happen again!!

Better tell us more, Debs!

You know we'll offer floods of advice, dear girl!

And somewhere in that flood might just be the life preserver suggestion you need.

You know we love you, darlin'. Who couldn't?

:<3:

[Amy Hepker]

I am sorry to hear that, I won't say it screwed up my life up as much as narrow minded people screwed up my life. GGs that thought they could change me back into an all male. NOT! I am a CDer and I always will be. We have to find GGs that will accept us for who we are not what we are. As for our families I find it hard to believe that families would be torn apart for someone being the person they really are. I know it happens, but it ain't right.

[Amanda Shaft]

Its screwed me over a few times also! but it's not going to change or go away. I'm not better or worse for it really just a little more unique, a little more disapointed with life perhaps, but I feel things that other guys don't. Would I change it, yes of course, I'd be a 100% gg.
However I will survive... I feel a song coming on!
Amanda x

[Fab Karen]

There's a method, it's called a lobotomy.:heehee:

[Deborah Jane]

The simple fact is i lost my wife after i confessed to c/ding and i,ve now found someone new.
She,s the type of woman who won,t accept this and i,m very reluctant to tell her!!
It would be far better for me to give up the fun of being Debs and keep a woman i know i,m going to end up falling in love with...
We,ve become very close, very quickly and i don,t want to risk losing her!!

Simple as that!!

[AmandaM]

I wish I could turn a key and it would be done. It would clear my head. Not being obsessed with these feminine desires all the time. Geez, that would be a mental break. But I don't think there is any turn off button. I lost all my friends once when I told a girl I wanted to marry. She outed me, started screwing around with "real men" and then left me. Since that time, I told all women I dated early. They can't hurt me as much. You have to tell if you think for one minute there's any chance you will CD again. The pain will be greater later on if you don't tell. If she can't hack it, fu** her. Find someone who will LOVE YOU, not just the VISION of a man.

[Wendy me]

if i could go back and tell my wife from the start abought me i would in a heart beet ....starting off by hiding it just won't work you know that..........

[Nikki A.]

If she really loves you then she will see that this is a part of you that makes you different and special. If she breaks it off then maybe she wasn't seeing the real you.

[Deborah Jane]

Looks like no way of stopping then....

Crap!!!

[Nicole Erin]

As long as you are not married or expecting kids or anything.

Keep in mind that this CDing will last longer than any relationship.

[Shelly Preston]

You know my thoughts on this already

I just want to wish you the best of luck for when the time comes :hugs:

[Jenna Lynne]

Looks like no way of stopping then....

Crap!!!
A lot depends on where you are with it. Some of us do stop for extended periods, and without too great discomfort. But there are some things to think about when you go that route.

First, has your leg and armpit hair grown out? If not, do you want to delay hopping in the sack with her for a couple of months?

Second, supposing you do become very serious with her and want to marry. Will you be okay with skulking around and trying to hide it for the rest of your life? (I recommend against this course.)

Third, if you're in a relationship with her, will you be comfortable watching her dress up to go out, or will you start being madly resentful?

I have no answers, just questions.

***Jenna Lynne***

[Billie1]

Am i stuck with this for life, or is there actually a way of stopping the urge to crossdress?

Errrr ... no.

[Genifer Teal]

Am i stuck with this for life, or is there actually a way of stopping the urge to crossdress?

If you don't like it, then stop. If you can't stop, then maybe you like it.
Quite the conundrum, isn't it? :heehee:

Gen

[Ashley in Virginia]

Not to Hijack too much....


Well that begs another question... why would you want to stop?

Because It is something that I absolutely hate. I hate how unnatural for me this feels. I hate how I can't be comfortable in my own skin. I hate how i have no idea of who I am because I have no frigging idea of why I can't just be the gender I was born as.




If you don't like it, then stop. If you can't stop, then maybe you like it.
Quite the conundrum, isn't it? :heehee:

Gen

Not quite. I see it as more of a compulsion, similar to the guy who constantly washes his hands. Ask him why he does it and his response is like ours, "I dunno or it feels right"

[Samantha43]

I don't think I could ever quit, I know I don't want to.

There are women who are accepting and even supportive.

I have found balance in life is important. I feel crossdressing can be a very selfish thing. I try to keep the proper balance so my needs are satisfied, without testing my wife's tolerance.

[Angie G]

The only way is to open the top of your head and pull out all your brains. just kidding it can't be done. So just get dressed and enjoy hun. :hugs:
Angie

[Jilmac]

I'm afraid you're stuck with it for life dear, the urge to dress will never go away.

[Jenny J]

In all honesty, it's not going to go away. Just when you think you are cured, up rises it's pretty little face.

[paulaN]

As far as I know,it does not go away.

[tinadcd]

The simple fact is i lost my wife after i confessed to c/ding and i,ve now found someone new.
She,s the type of woman who won,t accept this and i,m very reluctant to tell her!!
It would be far better for me to give up the fun of being Debs and keep a woman i know i,m going to end up falling in love with...
We,ve become very close, very quickly and i don,t want to risk losing her!!

Simple as that!!

I'm with you gurl; my lack of success with the GG's has made me rethink a lot of things, and my urge to dress is on hiatus. Partly because of the hot weather and partly because dressing hasn't furthered my cause either. The crossdresser in me is still very much alive, and I think anyone I would want to really get close to deserves to know all about me; "warts" and all.

If there is anything I can do, I'm here for you gurlfriend! :hugs:

[AmandaM]

To stop can be done, if there is a reason for your CDing not related to a gender issue. But, to find out, you'd spend a ton of money on therapy, and the odds are against it. So, while it is possible, it's not probable.

[Kayla_CD]

The urge to dress never goes away like the urge to have a smoke after you've quit. And if it turned out that dressing up was giving me health problems I would leave it behind in a second.

[KarenSusan]

I'm afraid you're stuck with it for life dear, the urge to dress will never go away.

And I find as I get older it gets stronger.

[jennifer41356]

The simple fact is i lost my wife after i confessed to c/ding and i,ve now found someone new.
She,s the type of woman who won,t accept this and i,m very reluctant to tell her!!
It would be far better for me to give up the fun of being Debs and keep a woman i know i,m going to end up falling in love with...
We,ve become very close, very quickly and i don,t want to risk losing her!!

Simple as that!!

if you dislike it that much , my advice is to quit , cold turkey, and you will spend the rest of your life fighting it and maybe being quite miserable, its like anything, if you dislike it quit, it may be difficult, but if you want a "different" life, then that appears to be the only option:2c:

[Tina Dixon]

Hey hon if you feel like jumping off a bridge give me a call and I'll jump with you! No I'm just messing here the urge never totalily goes away, it dies down, but just walking down the street theres a pretty girl in cute dress and you think, damn I wish I had a dress like that, yep the urge is back, sorry.

[Brina Halloween]

I would not say it is my highest priority to dress. Considering that I had bought some stuff from Fredrick's of Hollywood at least 5 years before I did my first Halloween...CD'ing definitely has some fascination for me.If a lady is close minded about this, she is likely not the personality I am looking for.

So much for this being a version of a joke I once heard....

Brina

[Nicole1]

You can stop and purge, as most of us have at least once, twice, ..... But, you Will return. The main problem is that you do it in secret, praying that you don't get caught; not realizing that you are leaving evidence behind that your wife will mistakenly believe is evidence of an affair or something to that end. You think you are miserable now? You have no idea! If you want to have a real relationship with her; then you need to break the news before you get to far into it. It will be so much better for both of you. It may end the relationship; but now is better than later. And if she surprises you, then it will be greater than you would believe. Best of luck; only you can decide what is right for you!:2c:

Hugs:hugs:

Nicole

[bimini1]

I think it depends from person to person. Only you can answer the question. I am 43. I asked this same question to a therapist about 20 years ago and they said yes it can be done. The therapist had no clue about gender issues. I believed it. My mom kept telling me once I could do it and not CD anymore and I believed her too.
A CD friend of mine told me some years ago he thought some simply 'grow' out of it. Key word being some. This same friend used to go out all the time, now says it simply is not worth it for her. Beautiful CDer too, whether she still does it around the house I do not know. I have heard indirectly from another CD friend that some of her friends recently 'hung up their heels' so to say.
And then there is this

http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/cathytg/cure.htm

For the record, I have not been able to give it up.

[sterling12]

Young Lady, you could possibly ABSTAIN for a while. But, will you ever stop it completely? We don't see any evidence that it's possible. Remember, if The CD is still going on inside your head, it hasn't been erased. Your just not wearing femme clothes for a bit.

Stick around, with some regularity we get postings that say, "Bye you all, I'm gonna' quit, don't need this anymore!" But, we get an equal number of postings that say: "I though I could quit, and I did for ___ months/years." "But now the feelings have returned, and it's stronger than ever!" NO ONE on this sight that I know of, has ever unequivocally proven that they were "CD Free," and shown any evidence to back it up.

The CD isn't screwing up your life, its the intolerance of other people who don't understand the compulsion, or simply feel threatened by anything not within their narrow views.

Give yourself time to grow, to mature, to learn self-acceptance. Once you do, CD will not "screw up your life." It will become an intrinsic part of your personality which will make you a better person.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[curse within]

Good question one I have been asking myself for over 30 years.:D

[NatalieBliss]

I will collect the money now. You are stuck for the rest of your life.

However, I would say "You are blessed for the rest of your life"

[Violetgray]

The simple fact is i lost my wife after i confessed to c/ding and i,ve now found someone new.
She,s the type of woman who won,t accept this and i,m very reluctant to tell her!!
It would be far better for me to give up the fun of being Debs and keep a woman i know i,m going to end up falling in love with...
We,ve become very close, very quickly and i don,t want to risk losing her!!

Simple as that!!

Sounds to me like the cross dressing isn't the problem, it's honesty. There are plenty of relationships to be had by accepting women, but you must let the know at the point when they're your friends, but before the point where you are intimate. It's the timing where things are all going wrong for you.

[Joanne f]

Will it ever go away , i would have to say i doubt it, can you control it , if you really wanted to .
The problem with a new relationship is that if they do not know beforehand then when do you tell , to soon before they get to know you and they might run, leave it to long and they call you a cheat or a liar.
If you think that you cannot control it and you would like the relationship to get serious then i suggest it should be sooner than later but try to find someone your intended partner could talk to if need be .





joanne

[Rachaelb64]

With me its tends to screw me up more when I don't do it. So I've stopped trying to give it up.

But Debs, at the end of the end of the day honesty is the best policy. I decided after I split with my ex that would be upfront about my cding.

I didn't think my SO would accecpt me but she did after a lot of talking she saw my crossdressing as part of me. :)

Like my old nan (god rest her soul) just to say 'If you don't ask, you don't know the answer'

Same goes here Debs, you need to say something or you will lose everything.

Best of luck Debs :)

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Their not screwing your life up....you just need to stop trying to put a square peg in round hole and go find a square hole and then it will all fit together....JMHO...YMMV

Compatibility is an amazing thing....

[TGMarla]

Hi Debs. I'm sorry you're having such a struggle with it. I've been there and done that, and acceptance from my wife has not yet happened. I hid it, and I regret it, but I'm still sure that the alternative would have been losing her. Now we're 14 year in, she knows, but we just don't discuss it, and I keep it out of her sight, dressing only when she's not around. It's not a perfect situation by any means, but it works for us for now.

I'm not advocating hiding it from her. It only postpones the problems. But in answer to your question, I don't know if it goes away or not. For me, it has not. But I think that just throwing up your hands and claiming that it doesn't ever go away, and that you're "stuck" with it for life is a bit of a simple cop-out, too. People quit smoking, quit drugs, quit drinking....this cannot be much different. I've never heard of a 12-step program for crossdressing, but if you absolutely need to quit, I think you can. I doubt the urges to dress will ever go away completely, but I'm sure that in some cases, it can be controlled. But you may also end up miserably unhappy with fighting with it forever.

Kinds sucks, huh? Good luck with the woman. Oh, and by the way, don't sell her short. She may just have a side to her you have not seen yet. It's easy to assume she'll be unaccepting, and you may be right about that. But do you really know?

[Nikki K]

My wife has been on a desperate mission to find a "cure"; the best she's been able to find so far is this:
http://www.stonewallrevisited.com/pages/randall_w.html

No. I don't think there's any hope for "recovery"; we are who we are and the secret to a happy life is accepting that. Easier said than done, however, when the SO you love so dearly isn't on the first rung of tolerance let alone acceptance.

[LisaElizabeth]

This is probably going to trigger a LOT of responses........
IF and I repeat.... IF... you can find out 'WHY' you crossdress in the first place, it helped me decrease the compulsion portion of dressing. I can go for a year or longer now without the 'all consuming desires' to CD. Does this mean I have stopped? Not really, I just don't get that all consuming, gotta do it now or I'll die, feeling any more.
If I have a trip where I know there are safe places to go out for the eveing, I'll take a coupls outfits along. Or if we are going to attend a Halloween or Mardi Gras party, I'll do a femme costume. But the 'every day' desire is no longer there.
How you go about discovering this about yourself is probably as varied as there are types of crossdressers. Maybe counselling, maybe transcendental meditation, I don't know what will work for you. I tried a lot of different things, just searching for that elusive 'WHY".
What finally helped me was 'dianetics'! Controversial? Probably! But it was the way I found that helped me see 'why'. So I can't say enough about it. It took a number of hours to get to the 'Why'. I don't remember exactly, but I also know that it started when I was 6 so the memory is in terms of a six-year-old.
No matter how you decide to travel a road of self-discovery, that road is covered i boulders that you have to move to get to the problems. I have also noticed that the core problem is in the language of whatever age you were when it occured, so if you were 35, it's an adult thought, if you were 5 it's a childish thought. After all it's what happened to you at that time! So of course that memory is as you saw it then! Not how you would see the same thing now!
Find a way you are comfortable with and start your journey, it will be the first of a thousand steps, some easy, some not so easy.
Huggs,
Lisa Elizabeth

[kym]

If you don't like it, then stop. If you can't stop, then maybe you like it.
Quite the conundrum, isn't it? :heehee:

Gen
but its impossible to stop 99% of the time, i fought it for years trying to save three marriages before i realized that its a major part of who i am so no more fighting it. and there are women, good gg's that will accept and maybe even embrace us like we are, if you truly love a person then it shouldn't matter what they are or who they are.

[Carly D.]

I pretty much agree with everyone here who says it stays for life.. you can curve it.. try to beat it but it comes back.. it takes a supreme effort to stem the tide.. even when I wasn't cross dressing I was thinking about it.. fantasizing about what would it be like.. and then falling off the wagon, or on the wagon depending on how you look at it..

[KarenCDFL]

Hi,

I really feel for you. I told both of my wives before we married. First marriage was doomed form the start for a lot of different reasons.

When I met the woman who would be come my second and current wife, I told her as well and over the years she has come to love and accept the entire me and is more than helpfull.

You need to very carefully consider whether you want to continue this relationship. Two things can happen as I see it.

1) You hide it from her and your dressing has the possibility of destroying your next marriage.

or

2) You be honest with her now and if she accepts you then you know you have a future together and if she hates it well then, you are just better off.

Wish you the best!

[Donna tv]

Stuck !!!!! C'mon there certainly are worst things to be.
EMBRACE IT !!!

[sherri]

I doubt that most of us could stop the urge or desire or whatever you want to call it, but a person can control the compulsion and the action if he or she has a strong enough reason. We can do -- or stop doing -- just about anything if we put our mind and will to it. I mean, people quit all sorts of strong habits all the time. They deal with adversity and live with loss without losing their minds. And I believe there are absolutely some justifiable reasons for walking away from crossdressing for the sake of something more important if there is an inherent and unsolvable conflict.

But ...

Judging from the stories I've heard on this Forum and elsewhere, it seems that quitting because another person can't handle it is pretty dicey. Personally, I think it's worth doing to save an otherwise good marriage or relationship, especially if the dressing is a relatively late development in a longterm relationship. But entering into a new relationship with such a secret seems to me to be a surefire recipe for trouble later on.

That said, I think love is a good enough reason to give up crossdressing if your need for love is stronger than your need to dress. But don't kid yourself, it is a sacrifice that will probably always be there in the background. But it is doable. You nust, however, be honest with yourself in judging just how strong your need for dressing is; if it's too much a part of you, you might be better off trying to find someone who can accept you for who and what you really are. You owe that not only to yourself, but to the other person too. It is wrong to plan on deceiving her with a secret life, and sooner or later she will find out, and hearts will be broken.

[rickie121x]

I just read this whole thread - I believe that indicates that I, too, am looking for "the answer". In my head I would like to think I have accepted myself - and you know, that may be true 99.44&#37; of the time. But there are those interesting little thoughts that drift through, implying that I can really quit - that I can be "more" normal just like the rest of the guys. (But who really knows about what they really do?)

I don't like it that I even have to think that I am looking for an answer - for me, it is a waste of what little positive intellectual energy I have.

I have learned in Al-Anon to "Take what you like and leave the rest." And that phrase would be appropriate to the role of dressing in my life. I really do like it - and you know there are times I go to fast on the freeway, and I like it - and sometimes I have made snotty remarks - and I liked it. Yes we do some things we are not so proud of - but keeping those things in control seems to make them -well OK, even if they are not.

And so maybe we need to be careful of the negatives of crossdressing - I know that I am: Going to the wrong neighborhood. Challenging any authorities. Staying away from teenagers. Flaunting - in almost any way; remember, most of us are not movie stars....

The answer is: Who knows? But I have not noticed one single reply that intimates that you can successfully quit. Quitting dressing does not mean that you have left the intellectual inclination behind....

Rickie :doll:

[Tamara Croft]

Coz it,s screwed my life up once and it,s about to happen again!!Doesn't have to happen again, it's a part of your life.

The simple fact is i lost my wife after i confessed to c/ding and i,ve now found someone new.
She,s the type of woman who won,t accept this and i,m very reluctant to tell her!!Stop comparing your last relationship to your new one, not all women are the same... How do you know she won't accept it?

It would be far better for me to give up the fun of being Debs and keep a woman i know i,m going to end up falling in love with...
We,ve become very close, very quickly and i don,t want to risk losing her!!

Simple as that!!You'll risk losing her if you can't give it up, even if you give it up for a while, 9 out of 10 times CD's can't just stop... If she's the one for you, if she truely loves you, she might just be ok with it...


Not to Hijack too much....

Because It is something that I absolutely hate. I hate how unnatural for me this feels. I hate how I can't be comfortable in my own skin. I hate how i have no idea of who I am because I have no frigging idea of why I can't just be the gender I was born as.Have you though of seeing a therapist that deals with the transgendered? Ashley, I've known you a long time, you can't keep doing this crap to yourself, you've got to get some kind of help :hugs:

[Emma England]

Crossdressing is much like coffee - virtually impossible to give up.

Maybe it is a phase. You just have to live long enough.
Try checking back in 904 years time.

The best thing though is to accept who you really are.

[Deborah Jane]

This is all totally irrelevant now as i got "dumped" by text message earlier...No reason given!!!

[CD Susan]

Debs, I have read this entire thread and everyone who has posted here has given you some valuable advice. I agree with the majority here in that you must tell her before the relationship goes any further. I hope that she accepts it and that the both of you can remain happily together. Good Luck dear one.

[Alaceann]

I don't think I could ever quit, I know I don't want to.

There are women who are accepting and even supportive.

I have found balance in life is important. I feel crossdressing can be a very selfish thing. I try to keep the proper balance so my needs are satisfied, without testing my wife's tolerance.

Just to let you and everyone know it can happen. My S.O. caught me 2 yrs. ago when she came home early one day while I was washing dishes and didn't hear her come in and I got the usual questions. But now after 19 yrs. togeather we got married on sat. the 2nd. So don't ever give up hope. There are good women out there that can love us.:love::hugs:

[SatinDoll00]

This is all totally irrelevant now as i got "dumped" by text message earlier...No reason given!!!

Ouch!!

Have you talked to her since??

[RobertaFermina]

If you find something that gives you what CDing gives you, then you might be able to shift over to that...kinda like CD-Methadone.

For me, doing the "right" thing, like taking care of my job and family has taken precedence over dressing many times; alot lately. It feeds my life. However, I don't feel I am a TG-Identified CrossDresser.

If CD is part of your own Transgenderism....well, pay the lady now and spare yourself the cost of future worry and confusion, you are in for the whole ride.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[RobertaFermina]

Sounds to me like the cross dressing isn't the problem, it's honesty. There are plenty of relationships to be had by accepting women, but you must let the know at the point when they're your friends, but before the point where you are intimate. It's the timing where things are all going wrong for you.


Right On Violet!


One hard thing to give up is ambivalence.

If I judge myself negatively for being a CD, on personal principle, or accept the negative judgments of others, I may continue to dress in the closet, but behave outside the closet as if I don't.

The nasty "thin end of the wedge" intrudes when I initiate relationships "outside the closet" without carefully planning when to "open the closet" to my prospective partner.

Once I accept that I am a CrossDresser, and choose to be responsible for the fact, I will plan responsibly when to share my truth with prospective partners.

So "Girl-Up!" and accept the sting of broken relationship may happen early and often on your way to a relationship that really works.

The time to do it is after you realize they are capable of understanding what CrossDressing is, and can hear you with compassion.

If you never find confidence of their capacity to understand, and then take-or-leave you without bitterness, then certainly the time to risk-all and tell them, or save each other the grief and break it off, is before you make a longterm commitment to each-other.


Wish it were easier ! :hugs:


:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Deborah Jane]

Ouch!!

Have you talked to her since??

Nope...If she can,t even dump me properly and does it by text i guess she,s not worth bothering about!!

Strewth, i really believed it could be the real thing too :sad:

[Ruth]

Debs, it is a part of you. I would love to give you reassurance and encouragement but I agree with everyone here that it is a lifetime thing, and a 'cure' just is not a realistic hope.
I would love to see you settled down and happy, and who knows, perhaps this lady is more understanding than you know. Remember, you are still completely a man, as well as sometimes a woman.
Love,
Ruth
PS. Sorry, I somehow missed your last posts re the dumping by text!

[Mary Morgan]

Yes of course. Give in to it, let it become your norm and the term crossdress loses its meaning. Otherwise, I don't think so. I believe you can stop, but you will also stop being the person you are and the price may be very high!

[Jordan]

It sounds like you are stuck doing it. I really don't know how we could ever stop the feeling of wearing female clothes is so great.

[Andi]

The constant desire to be female is driving me nuts but I don't ever want the feeling to go away. It's just too exciting when I do get the chance to change roles. :battingeyelashes:

[Rachaelb64]

This is all totally irrelevant now as i got "dumped" by text message earlier...No reason given!!!


Bummer!

Dumping by text is such a coward's way out

Sorry she did that to you Debs...........:hugs:

[TSchapes]

in "My Husband Betty" about crossdresser choices of mates. She submits from her observation that crossdressers tend to be attracted to women that would not be supportive of crossdressing. This on the surface sounds odd, but what if we are looking for someone subliminally to "straighten us out"?

This would mean that what we should be doing is coming out to women prior to marriage and making sure they won't make out lives a living "H", "E", double hockey sticks afterwards.

No we can't stop this and I know it's a frustrating thing to my wife that I can't put a lid on it.

Love, Tracy

[Bev06 GG]

in "My Husband Betty" about crossdresser choices of mates. She submits from her observation that crossdressers tend to be attracted to women that would not be supportive of crossdressing. This on the surface sounds odd, but what if we are looking for someone subliminally to "straighten us out"?


Love, Tracy
How very interesting, I wonder how that conclusion was arrived at Tracy. I have never read the book myself I might just have to get myself a copy.
Take care
Bev
PS Deborah Jane I know you already know this but to be honest any body who dumps someone via a text message really isn't worth bothering with.

[Joanne f]

[QUOTE=TSchapes;1387046]in "My Husband Betty" about crossdresser choices of mates. She submits from her observation that crossdressers tend to be attracted to women that would not be supportive of crossdressing. This on the surface sounds odd, but what if we are looking for someone subliminally to "straighten us out"?

Sorry but i find that a complete load of rubbish , why are there so many on here that are looking for acceptance and not sorting out , if i wanted sorting out i would do that myself, i think that whoever wrote this book did not do enough research (but then i am quite often wrong ):heehee:


joanne

[Angela-Russell]

Sorry to hear that you've had a bit of a hard time lately Debs. I have to agree with everyone though, crossdressing never goes away, it's for life. I've tried a couple of times, & tried very hard too when I first got married, but after a while the urge comes back & usually seems to be a bit stronger. Lucky for me that I have a great wife. Fancy her dumping you by text message too, she mustn't have had the courage to tell you to your face. The best thing I can suggest now is a large dose of retail therapy to take your mind off things, & cheer yourself up. Go out & treat yourself to something really nice. Keep your chin up girl.

[Deborah Jane]

Thanks for all the feedback everyone...
I guess as i,m stuck with this for life and single again, i may as well carry on enjoying it.
Also i,m now more inclined towards just taking things slowly on the dating front...
Who knows???...Maybe theres a woman out there somewhere who,ll like Debs as much as my guy self :daydreaming:

Now that would be a dream come true!!!

[Tina Dixon]

Hang in there Debs, they say there's some one out there for every one:hugs:

[Deborah_UK]

Just wondering Debs (great name btw) was this relationship the reason why you took your pic from the avatar?

tell me to mind my own business btw

[Deborah Jane]

Just wondering Debs (great name btw) was this relationship the reason why you took your pic from the avatar?

tell me to mind my own business btw

Yup...I,m struggling with giving up, so i,m trying not to see my "Debs" pics whenever i come here

Yeah i like the name too Debs :hugs:

[christid66]

I'm so sorry that you're having such a tough time Debs. I can't promise that there'll be someone out there for you that accepts Debs but really I hope there will be - and you have lots of friends on here that are also there for you too if that's any consolation.:hugs:

[charlie]

While CD is something that I love to do, I also feel forced to continue. If i could I would love to just turn the key and be just a guy. Why do I have this addiction to be a girl too? I agree with Ashley. Last night after a baseball game in Phoenix I said goodbye to my friends and dashed off to my hotel and dressed up in my finest and had a drink at a very nice, fancy bar in Phoenix. I only had time for one cocktail and then had to go back to be ready in the morning for an early flight. Why did Charlie need that last quick outing in high heels, fancy gown and done up hair? It was dumb....also sexy! I would love to stop.......but can't!

[bimini1]

Alot of us will say we would love to stop but can't . What does that really mean?

[Danielle Hyatt]

You could do anything that you set your mind to!!!! They told me I would never walk but now I do.

Plese PM me if you want.


Your Pal
Dan:D

[Tina B.]

Quiting is easy, I have done it many times over the years, (more years than I care to admit to) but then the depression, the inter anger, sleepless nights,
and then if you think about it, clothes are cheaper than shrinks!
you know it is time to quit fighting it when your unhappy all the time, and you know the only thing that will fix it is, Silk, Nylon, and Heels!
Tina B.

[rickie121x]

in "My Husband Betty" about crossdresser choices of mates. She submits from her observation that crossdressers tend to be attracted to women that would not be supportive of crossdressing. This on the surface sounds odd, but what if we are looking for someone subliminally to "straighten us out"? Love, Tracy I would expect, although not having read the book, that the author is a therapist or someone in the healing professions. As a result, her experience is limited to those who are are unhappy because of crossdressiing - and her perspective is not what it would be, say, if she were to attend one of the crossdressing conventions where many hundreds of happy and content crossdressers gather.

That just might leave her with a different observation.

Rickie :battingeyelashes: