Have you ever had a sales assistant in a shop deliberately embarrass you?

[heathr1]

I have, twice in different shops.

One time I was in a womens clothes store and as soon as I looked at a skirt, one of the women who worked there approached me, held a skirt to me and teased me while the other laughed.

Another time, I bought a leather skirt in a charity/thrift store and the woman there, in a loud voice asked if she could see me wearing it.

I could have died.

[Crystal Harmony]

That is so cruel, :( i feel so sorry for girl,i would have complained to there manager.Maybe try some internet shopping,that way you can sit there all dressed up as well.I hope it doesnt happen to you again.

Good luck girl

[Imogen_Mann]

Do yourself a favour.... Never attempt to by anything even remotely embarrasing in a (leading high street) chemist in the UK !! The women there have NO MERCY !!! :o

[Melissa A.]

There are many ways you could have handled both these events. "Thank you for holding the skirt, would you mind holding that blouse up for me, as well?" comes to mind.

When people try to embarrass you, show them that you are not. It takes away all their fun.

The situation was already under way, so why not make the best of it, to your advantage?

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[Wendy me]

omg melissa we should realy go shopping ....if that happened to me welll lets say i don't do embarrassed ....i would have made her my little assesent and we would have done some shopping .....and been how we say a little chatty????? realy next time just take her to the side and say are you just a bitch for me or is this the way you treat every one ????? then assure her you are not going anywere till your done shopping.....

[Stormgirl]

That is why I dont shop in stores,cos of heartless cruel *bleep* like that.

[heathr1]

called Boots.

I've bought loads of lipsticks off them, telling them I'm shopping for my mother or a friend and the sales women have been wonderful, very informative and helpful.

[sarah]

I agree with Wendy ...Who is the customer ? how dare they take that attitude how would they know who you are buying for ..My suggestion is to have a smart remark ready for them like ..maybe you dont like your job and if thats the case maybe i could help you out by getting you the sack.....

[DonnaT]

I agree with Melissa and Wendy.

I had one girl at a Prescriptives cosmetic counter ask if the powder I was buying was for me. It wasn't, so I told her no, it was for my wife but I then told her that I do wear it when I dress up. Caused her to pause a second, but she managed to keep cool and we started discussing makeup and how to hide my beard shadow.

If you want to shop in the shops, be ready with quick replies that show you are not embarrassed because you are a CD. This way you teach the sales person there is nothing wrong with what you do and you make a friend for next time.

Making a big deal out of it in a negative way, may get them fired, but it will also make an enemy to all CDers. Word will get to other shop asistants, and they will not be friendy, but instead be standoffish and wary.

Next time some like that holds a skirt up to you, ask if you can try it on. Be friendly, make a friend.

[Sarah Ellis]

Not so much as embarrass but more of a girly tease. I bought this cute lacy satin thing with flowers on it at a thrift store.. £2 it was, and the assistant said in a not so quiet voice, " thats very pretty isn't it?" I replied "yes, its lovely". She probably knew it was for me.

Satin xxx

[Stormgirl]

Making a big deal out of it in a negative way, may get them fired, but it will also make an enemy to all CDers. Word will get to other shop asistants, and they will not be friendy, but instead be standoffish and wary.

Thats exactly why I just let it slide and not cause a commotion.

[Jeri Kay]

I was at Walmarts yesterday, looking at girls jeans, and a plus sized woman, in those notorious stretch pants, that had been stretched way beyond what they were intended, was in my way.
I gave her a little nudge, and said " Pardon me." She moved away, a little, and gave me one of those " Well!" looks.
I ignored her and took a pair of jeans off the rack.
They were real girlie hip huggers, with slightly belled legs, and a wide pink belt.
She was staring, very disapprovingly, at me. So, I held them up to me and asked her how she thought they would look with heels.
To my surprise she said, " I think they would look good. I wish I could wear them."
" Damn the torpedos. Full speed ahead!" Don't be intimidated by them, they shop in our departments too.

[Wendy me]

realy don't be put off by rude people thay are all over ....if the sales girl is rude tell her in your next job perhaps you will be weareing a papper hat and asking will you have fryes with that.....................



(disclamer::::::::if you are or any one you know are working at a place that you or thay weare a papper hat and ask you if you will have fries with that this was not ment to belittle you or knock any one that works i any place like that ..... thankyou and sorry to anyone that might be put off by that......note: wendy has not drected this to any of us at all......no crossdressers or their familys ...freinds or what not were targeted in this...........)...................

[heathr1]

lipstick for a friend in a local store, but for myself I go to a neighbouring town where I am not known.

Reminds me, I was also in a supermarket and bought a lipstick. 3 of the women there quietly joked, saying it was not my shade, but as there was no attempt to shame me, I enjoyed it.

[Melissa A.]

News flash: They're not gatekeepers. They're retail clerks. I know they wish they had my paycheck. No way are they going to make me feel embarrassed about me.

Aw, damn. Now I gotta write a disclaimmer, like Wendy...IF you are a retail clerk,...... see above. Thanks, Wendy.

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[StephanieCD]

One time I was in a womens clothes store and as soon as I looked at a skirt, one of the women who worked there approached me, held a skirt to me and teased me while the other laughed.


I seriously think you'd have grounds for lawsuit if you were comfortable with being outed to make the point. Another thing would be to write a letter to their corporate headquarters


...two of your employees teased and made fun of me while shopping in one of your stores. I happen to be a man that buys womens clothing and while browsing in your store two of your sales girls outright made fun of me. Not only was a hurt - it's hard enough for me to go into the store - but I was shocked at the prejudice (this word gets sh*t out of corporations) and cruelty displayed buy your employees. I don't think I'll ever be able to go into one of your stores again - this action in your company's name really hurt me. Such acts of discrimination are unacceptable in todays world. I am writing to not only notify you that this took place in your TOWN store so you can do something about it but to also offer you an opportunity to make this right.

I will be looking for your response.

I bet you at least get a coupon ;)

I have a fantasy about going into Payless or something and having someone refuse to help me or something so I can come down on them like Martin Luther King in a dress and demand equal treatment... but quiety accept a settlement in exchange for anonynimity :rolleyes:

[heathr1]

It was only a small family owned shop.

[Melissa A.]

Hi Stephanie,

Yes, making a stand is important. But free shoes? Priceless.

Hugs,


Melissa :)

[Wendy me]

It was only a small family owned shop.



maybe let us all know were this place is and maybe some girls can go there and say hey i heard this was a cd store,.......

[heathr1]

Ha, ha.

[Mira]

I once purchased 9 pairs of shoes from a local Payless and ordered another 4 pair online from Payless. I kept them all for a few days, trying them on, walking around, seeing which ones I liked (never could get up the courage to try them on in the store). I kept, IIRC, 5 pair and returned the rest to the same store. The sales woman there was always friendly and polite and I wonder if she ever truly bought the "it's my wife's birthday story," but she never disrespected me. Well, when I returned the 5 or so pair, a man was working with her and assisted in the return. I had some sale shoes and some were under BOGO (buy one, get one 1/2 off.) They were efficient processing the return until the man said, "do you have a problem with our shoes, you seem to be returning alot." I said I didn't and he pressed on asking if there was a quality problem and I replied saying they simply didn't fit. I'm not if he was trying to embarrass me or be offensive, but being such a sensitive situation I was nervous and easily agitated. I hurried out with my refund and never returned to that particular store.

I feel I may have overreacted but I took offense. I should be able to return something and not be questioned. I know some places don't like people returning things, but it's been many years since I've been challenged to give a reason for the return. Just my little experience.

[StephanieCD]

It was only a small family owned shop.


I bet the owners would still be interested to know their employees hurt and scared away a paying and potentially habit-forming customer. ;)

The power of the pen is only slightly less powerful than the power of the heel.

[RachelDenise]

I don't hink you need to be snotty or catty, nor do you need a quick reply. I think a lot of it is how comfortable you are with yourself looking for women's clothing. I have had an occasional remark, but I politely reply "it's for me" if asked and move along. Remember the question could lead to someone who at the least may be tolerant if not understanding, God forbid even interested! :D

I did have an interesting time once while in drab while buying lingerie when a saleslady told me that she thought the woman ahead of me was a man! Here I am hold ing a garter belt and panty thing and she says that! +? I was waiting for something about me, but alas, nothing........

[TrueGemini'sWife GG]

For those of you that know me, you know how this behavior gets my "Momma Bear" up!
:mad:

Had a similar experience happen at my place of work last week. I was behind the desk with 2 other women I work with, when "Ms. Smith" came in. Right away the women started, quietly, making rude remarks. I reminded them that their personal opinion had no place there and regardless of what they feel, she is a client!

That seemed to quiet them for a while. I had things in the back to do, but was waiting because I wanted to be the one to cash her out. After a bit, I figured she would be in there longer than I had anticipated and went in the back to quickly do what I had to. To my disappointment, but the time I got out front again, one of the woman was in the process of ringing up her charges. I stood closely behind her and could not believe what can out of this b*tch's mouth!

She says, "Mr., I mean, um, Ms. Smith, your total today is...."
I was floored. I could not believe not only the ignorance, but the out right coldheartedness I just witnessed! I grabbed the invoice from her hand and told both of them, "I will ring Ms. Smith up while the two of you go in the back and GROW UP!" She was humiliated, I was furious and all I wanted to do was give her a big hug. I, of course apologized for their stupidity and rude behavior and helped her get out of there as quickly as she could. As she was leaving she informed me that these women do this all the time to her. I told her that next time she wants to make an appointment to please ask for me by name. This way I can schedule her for a time that I am there. By the time this poor woman left, she was in tears, and thanked me for being a human being.

After she left, the fun began. I blasted both of them. I told then how unprofessional they were, how hurtful they were and how that kind of behavior was inexcusable! I asked them if they had any clue how hard her life already is because of ignorant, rude people such as themselves? All because she chooses to be true to herself? I told them to take my advise and think about how they would feel if you were on the other side of that desk. I also told then before they speak, they should
1. Breathe
2. Think
3. Breathe
4. Think
5. Speak.
These steps would save the world from a repeat of this evening nightmare!
I also told them that this poor woman felt the need to thank me for being a human being! I then ended by asking them if they were proud of themselves and that I planned on bringing this incident to the owner's attention. They had the nerve to apologize to me! I told them, "If you wanted to apologize to someone, go get Ms. Smith's file and call and apologize to her!"

I can't save the world, I know this... But dammit, I can control what goes on in mine. I have ZERO tolerance for this BS and I will not stand by and watch this go on in front of me.

You can guess how much these women I work with must love me, huh?

K...
Done with my rant..
Much better now.
:D

[StephanieCD]

You made us proud! Good for you!

[Sigrid]

You can guess how much these women I work with must love me, huh?

I don't know about them, Pattie, but I sure as hell love you!

~Sigrid

[Donna Delite]

Never happened to me and it won't, that's why I shop online

[ronni]

I might be embarrassed, but I don't know for sure...
I order color prints (for my "portfolio") online and pick them up at the local drugstore, and I have this feeling the clerk had looked at them by the way she looks at me!
I don't they're supposed to do that but they come in a resealable envelope so I'm never really sure. I can only hope she enjoyed the pictures!

[Priscilla1018]

omg melissa we should realy go shopping ....if that happened to me welll lets say i don't do embarrassed ....i would have made her my little assesent and we would have done some shopping .....and been how we say a little chatty????? realy next time just take her to the side and say are you just a bitch for me or is this the way you treat every one ????? then assure her you are not going anywere till your done shopping.....

Sister,I like your attitude.That would certainly shut the bint up. =)

Love and Hugs,
Priscilla

[eileen1969]

grounds to get her/him fired right on the spot! plus take this person to court for discrimination and violations of human rights! any other q's? :)

[GypsyKaren]

Years ago I was buying pantyhose and the girl asked if they were for me. I mumbled a bunch of no ways' and almost died of embarrassment. Recently, the same thing happened. I looked her fully in the eye and in a clear voice said yes. I guess I've come a long way.
GypsyKaren

[tgirlkari]

There are many ways you could have handled both these events. "Thank you for holding the skirt, would you mind holding that blouse up for me, as well?" comes to mind.

When people try to embarrass you, show them that you are not. It takes away all their fun.

The situation was already under way, so why not make the best of it, to your advantage?

Hugs,

Melissa :)
I couldn't have said it any better Melissa Kudos to you

[tgirlkari]

Here's some food for thought, childish people need educated. Try to also understand thier position, try being nice that goes a long way, be honest to yourself and the sales clerck it's not a big deal as I keep saying don't act like you personaly are doing something wrong (moraly or legally or personaly) and it will help others to feel the same way but most importantly be nice. Being mean in anyway will not help think about how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. Never appologize for yourself!

[Vivian2]

If it's playful teasing I wouldnt use a line like this but you could say with a face like I'm sure all the rejection from guys has made you such a bitter hag that you'll take your anger out on anyone that(your words) ( has rejected more guys than you or your ugly progeny will ever date) mine :) And if they call you a freak I could use the above line to make them feel worse. Like Ya a freak gets more **** than you. I don't like guys but if you degrade a womans looks or ability to get men you really strike at their sole. Note I havent tried this. You could invite an attack from others but if you don't like going against multiple targets just goto another store. Most of the clothes I see are pretty much the same from store to store.

[nicau]

bought 3 pairs of pantyhose today,the sales girl helped me to the pantyhose area and asked me what i had in mind.black and tan shear to the waist i told her,black for red toe nail polish and tan for hot pink.she gave a little smile,i think she was a little embarassed as i was horny as hell and the adrenalin seemed to carm me down.so glad to leave from there with my purchase and head home to try them on,so hot the feeling of new pantyhose.
hugs nic

[Amelia Moxon]

I was out shopping in drab (except my girly trainers, I always wear girly trainers or flat shoes/boots when I go out shopping for girly things I usually wear girls socks too). I went into a Brantano Shoe Shop near where I live I was looking fore some brown ankle boots with a heel, to wear with a pair of jeans. I found what I wanted and proceeded to try them on. I sat down on the seat as you do and tried them on after taking them off (not a proper fit) and putting my trainers back on I picked them up to put them back on the shelf, when I turned round one of the shop assistants was stood there with a security guard. I popped them back on the shelf and left the shop.
Needless to say it wasn't a pleasant experience in the slightest and I was very close to writing a letter of compliant but I never did, should have really.

Michelle xxx

[Sigrid]

No, but I certainly emabarased a young (16-18 yo) sales girl once. I walked into a boutique once and from across the room I heared this girl say "Oh, my new best friend!" I realized she was talking to me - she had noticed that I was carrying a bag of MAC cosmetics I had just purchased. She asked me if I bought them for my wife and, I replied "no, there for me". Her face went deadpan and she stammered "oh......that's cool, I guess". She turned around and started folding clothes and didn't say another word. I lost my newest best friend... :( :D




....when I turned round one of the shop assistants was stood there with a security guard..

Well Michelle, in all fairness, if you go into a store looking like you do in you avatar, what else would you expect?

~Sigrid

[Niya W]

I was buying a sze 13red high heel pumps at good will. THe two latino girls started laughing and said in spanish my those are some big shoes./ I snapped back yes those are for me you got a problem with that? Dint think cause you said in spanish Ididn't understand.

[Lindahexi]

I was out shopping in drab (except my girly trainers, I always wear girly trainers or flat shoes/boots when I go out shopping for girly things I usually wear girls socks too). I went into a Brantano Shoe Shop near where I live I was looking fore some brown ankle boots with a heel, to wear with a pair of jeans. I found what I wanted and proceeded to try them on. I sat down on the seat as you do and tried them on after taking them off (not a proper fit) and putting my trainers back on I picked them up to put them back on the shelf, when I turned round one of the shop assistants was stood there with a security guard. I popped them back on the shelf and left the shop.
Needless to say it wasn't a pleasant experience in the slightest and I was very close to writing a letter of compliant but I never did, should have really.

Michelle xxx

Michelle, I've been in my local Brantano and purchased shoes, and have never experienced any problem from sales girls, for the most part they don't even look my way, in fact I often wonder what they actually do all day, they never seem to be interested in customers, just chatting most of the time. Also I've always been treated politely at check out, and never questioned about who the shoes are for. One thing I learned is always take your own shoe-horn for trying shoes on, it's much easier than having to ask for one, which will draw attention to yourself.

Linda.

[Lindahexi]

Only once has an assistant tried to embarrass me, it was in a UK store called Tesco, I often purchase female attire such as tights etc while doing daily shopping for the SO, Tesco is a really good store and staff are always helpful and polite.

On the day in question I walked past some summer dresses and decided immediately that I'd like one for myself, I checked through the rack for my size and placed one carefully in the trolley. When I got to the checkout I politely asked the assistant to charge the groceries and the dress seperately, cash for groceries and credit card for the dress. "Who's the dress for? your wife?" she said with that 'I know it's for you look', "no it's for me" I said, with no embarrassment whatsoever. She looked taken aback and just rang the stuff up without saying another word. I don't see why we have to be embarrassed when we are spending money and helping them keep their jobs.

Linda.

[juneuk]

I have never had any problem with shop staff. I just tell them what I want and they have always been helpful.

However....I did get that "sinking feeling" one day.
I had an arm full of stuff and a voice behind me said. "Hello. How are you? I've not seen you for years." I turned to see a guy I used to work with.
"Hi" I replied. "Hows things?"
We then stood chatting for a while, he then said.
"I'd better be off, your wife will be back soon with more stuff."
We then said our goodbyes and he left.
I was a little flustered by the time he was gone.
Only now, when I think back on it, do I wonder if he was there for the same reason as me???
:)

[azure]

the one that sticks in my mind was buying a pair of girls jeans in a branch of peacocks, the middle aged lady behind the counter scanned the item and took my bank card to swipe, and glared at me as she handed me the reciept to sign and said loudly so people could hear,thankyou MISTER howard, so I looked her back right in the eye and said thankyou and calmly left, and did not go back.