I just told my ex face to face

[Cary]

Today my ex-girlfriend came over. Since we broke up a few years ago, we have been good friends. She even started dating and had a baby. Eventhough I'm not the father, I try to be there when I can. When she came over today, she was crying on my shouder about the bad men in her life,etc. The subject matter switched to what went wrong in our relationship. I tried giving the many excuses that I'd given time and time again. I don't know what came over me at that moment. I told her that I like wearing women's clothes and that I've been wearing for a long time. I then took her to my bedroom closet(that I always keep locked), opened the door. I showed her everything and she was ok with it. She even said I have good taste in clothes. She said she had a feeling for years, but didn't go into it. She felt honored that she is the only person I have ever told. She said I am a good person and she wants to give us another chance. People I have to say I'm in a weird and scary place rightnow.

[renee k]

Well I'd go with the idea and see how far goes. If you had strong feelings for her. Follow your heart, just keep your guard up. Hate to see you get hurt.

Huggs, Renee

[DanaR]

People I have to say I'm in a weird and scary place rightnow.

Not knowing anything about her, you might take it slowly. It sounds like she might just need a friend, not exactly a relationship.

[deja true]

Yep...take it slow!

I've remained good friends with all my ex-girlfriends (except the one that ran away with the Colombian). Even with their husbands! But if one came to me with tales of woe about the other nasty men in her life and offered to get back together, I'd hesitate...

I'm thinking of the rebound thing here...that if I wasn't good enough then, what's changed to make me good enough now!

Still...if you love this woman still ...and she's truly okay with LFHC, it's worth at least a couple of long heart to heart conversations to see if there's a future there...

Good Luck, darlin'!

[serinalynn]

Today my ex-girlfriend came over. Since we broke up a few years ago, we have been good friends. She even started dating and had a baby. Eventhough I'm not the father, I try to be there when I can. When she came over today, she was crying on my shouder about the bad men in her life,etc. The subject matter switched to what went wrong in our relationship. I tried giving the many excuses that I'd given time and time again. I don't know what came over me at that moment. I told her that I like wearing women's clothes and that I've been wearing for a long time. I then took her to my bedroom closet(that I always keep locked), opened the door. I showed her everything and she was ok with it. She even said I have good taste in clothes. She said she had a feeling for years, but didn't go into it. She felt honored that she is the only person I have ever told. She said I am a good person and she wants to give us another chance. People I have to say I'm in a weird and scary place rightnow.

Sounds to me that your ex-gf now realizes that you may be the best guy that has been in her life. Make sure that if you and her get back together that she understands that you will continue to dress as a woman. Now that she knows it may be easier for her to embrace your need to be feminine. Talk to her about it a lot and keep communicating with her.

[Stormgirl]

Glad that it turned out well however proceed cautiously.

[Amy Hepker]

Hi,

Don't get me wrong I am not one to tell you what to do and I hope you use your heart, but will she be accepting of you down the road when the little one gets big??? This is the big question and I have seen it be the straw that broke the camels back. Most people do not want kids to be around a CDer and if the father found out, he may use that against her someday down the road. She amy just all of a sudden someday to turn around and tell you to grow up and be a man, I am going to tell you that is not impossible, but it may be. You are who you are inside and if she will not accept that part of you and know that you will be who you are inside when you want and need to be then you will have problems. My second marriage lasted 16 years and started to be hell after my daughter was born after our first year together. Things change, they always do. You have to decide and be honest, very honest with her about everything if you are going to together and she needs to be able to accept the fact you will not change, most of us can't, I know I have purged like 5 times in my years and you see where I am now.

[debbeelee1]

Well good for you and I hope everything works out well for both of you!

[Nicole Erin]

Are you wanting to date her again?
If so, yeah go for it. But keep in mind she might just be looking for a daddy for the kid. Would you really want that burden? Plus what if you two split up and she expected you to pay for the kid? That crap does happen sometimes...

If you don't want to date her, then either worm your way out of it, or make her understand that being CD is more important than dating.

[darla_g]

wow that is quite a revelation the way you did it. Good luck with your relationship

[Josephine 1941]

Hi Lust, I saw your comment about my GG and my self. So I am going to give you my 2 cents on what you have asked. You have shared your soul with her on that you cross dress, now you have to show her. If she is put off and said that as long as you don't do it in front of her , I would say let her go. With both my ex-wifes they told me that and then later tried to use it in the divorce. Like I said before she has to be accepting to all of your dressing habets. I can get up in the morning an dress as I like, in the evening sometimes I love wearing a skirt bra an t- shirt. Your girl friend has to say to you that hay Hon u have a spot on that blouse, put it in the wash and get another one. Or let me show you how to put that type on make up on,these are all the things that I have. The baby is another thing is she going to say please don't dress in front of the baby. You don't need that as I look at your picture you are beautiful so keep it up. I wish you the best. JOSEPHINE

[Empress Lainie]

Lusting you are beautiful. Hope it works for you. You are the one that has to choose your road, lots of good advice on here there to help you decide, but your mind and heart must rule you.

[curse within]

Lusting
She has obviously got feelings for you and from what I read there seems to be a strong friendship going on there to, but now that you are out of the closet with her the last thing you want to do is piss her off. If I was you what I would do is act as if nothing has happened let her take control of the direction the friendship may be heading and who knows maybe we could all meet her here sometime?

[rachel_rachel]

good on you for telling your ex and good luck with giving it another go.. I can speak from experince here on that issue, My girlfriend and i decided that it was time to have a holiday, she even went back to the father of her eldset child too. I thought that was it, but we spoke a few months afterwards and she said she still had feelings for me... Long story short, we got back together, got married, and have had 2 children since. Oh yeah, and she knows about and supports me in my dressing up.

[Katheryn]

Sounds to me that your ex-gf now realizes that you may be the best guy that has been in her life.

I beat the heck out of that drum when I was coming out to my wife, that all the reasons she married me and not the myriad of men she'd dated in the past. What made me different, I pointed out repeatedly, was the parts of me that compelled me to dress up. And yeah, you probably are the person that was best in her life, but having a secret life of your own, or parts of your life you suppressed or just hid, might have had an ill effect on the relationship.

My sister has asked me why she can't meet a guy like me, but she keeps looking at the wrong guys, those attractive macho men that she likes so much and hurt her so much. Sigh.....

K

[Angie G]

Every one deserves to be happy. She may know it was a bad thing loosing you. If you go with this go slow andbe careful. She may just be looking for a Father for her babby. Just my :2c: hun:hugs:
Angie

PS if it works and sheis OK with your dressing all the better hun.

[Shelly67]

There were differences between you , and was the undiscovered cding an issue to perhaps strengthen the reason to split in the first place ? I think you deserve a big well done for being honest with her . just think , if you can come out to her in honesty , you,ve bridged communications in a positive manner . Perhaps now you can go further and really discuss the reasons for parting , iron out youre differences and start afresh.You may really need to have a deep conversation on your dressing tho . Go gently , and perhaps agree to a time when you can become the pretty girl you are . I,m sure if you take your time , she may well become supportive , even enjoy having a new friend and part of a partner she may wish to enjoy and discover more . It seems from what I,ve read , you are both sensative , loving and considerate to each other . And from the comment of other guys letting her down , well ,it seems as if her reflection is unhappy ,until she thinks of you . Its resulted in her wanting to start over ..... if you love her , then at least its worth a try - if you dont , you,ll never know . I,m sure you dont need to be informed of any possible unhappiness - but keep youre heart true , keep talking , and if the babies father comes into the situation , be positive , secretive in your privacey and supportive .
It takes a special person to be in the situation your in .Your not in a weird place or crazy situation either - more like an unexperienced person feeling a little concerned- and thats natural !!. You come across as caring , concerned and perhaps even a little afraid . But youre bravery of coming out is a credit to you . If you wish to address every thing in this positive manner it will expand your lifestyle and hopefully result in a happy partnership. I admire you , I hope things work out , you find happiness together , both as in your male and female mode . I certainly hope your partner accepts you in all ways , just dont rush in .
Good luck , and all my best wishes for a happy future together .

[TxKimberly]

Is it possible that one of the reasons y'all didn't make it in the first place is that you were hiding this from her? She might have felt something was "off" even if she had not known WHAT was off.

[Melinda G]

Are you wanting to date her again?
If so, yeah go for it. But keep in mind she might just be looking for a daddy for the kid. Would you really want that burden? Plus what if you two split up and she expected you to pay for the kid? That crap does happen sometimes...

What he said! Err, umm, what "she" said.:D

[samantha48328]

I suggest you ask and answer two questions for yourself.

One: Why did you brakeup ???

Two: Has that changed???

Hope it all works out for you!

[trannie T]

You are indeed in a weird and scary place. Hopefully it can also be a happy place. Although you broke up once you are still able to get along. Only you know what caused your first break up if the issues have changed you may have a chance for success. It appears that you are going into this thing with both eyes open. Good luck to all three of you!

[gennee]

Doesn't hurt to give it try again. Good luck.

Gennee

:)

[Cary]

Thank you for all the great advice. I forgot to say that it was me who broke off the relationship the first time. During our truth telling yesterday, I told her that she can be alittle overbearing. I feel that I'm easygoing person, but I don't want to be hinpecked. Eventhough I can say I do love her, I'm not in love with her. She said repeatedly that she is tired of being by herself. I do get lonely sometimes myself, but I get over it. She does have low self-esteam and has been taken advantage of(baby's daddy,etc) on many...many occasions. I have heard of the abused often becoming the abuser. She did say that she doesn't mind my CDing as long as her child doesn't see me. I think I'm a good person and hope to make a good husban one day, but does anyone think she is just settling?

[waspookie6]

From a GG's perspective and the last post, you may be treading dangerous water here so tread lightly.
I've known/met gg's like that though we don't know the entire story about your ex, either way it's like settling for second best until someone better comes along.

Is that who you want to be? The "trading up" stop in her life?

[hskrchic]

go for it...my bf is a CD and told me soon in our relationship...I was ok with it because I believe everyone should do what makes them happy. but the more I experienced with him the more I found myself enjoying it too. don't turn away a supportive SO because there aren't many of us out there, and if that was the only problem in your relationship before then things should be all good. At least give it a try what do you have to lose. I hope everything works out for you!!!

[curse within]

good advise HSK hmmmm..do you still have a bf? just wondering , not being nosey or nothing luck lady if so...:)

[docrobbysherry]

The only human on the planet that knows I've worn women's clothes, is my ex-wife. She DID throw it in my face a few times during our divorce. However, as far as she knows, I'm still stuffing socks in an old bra and wearing a tired used pair of ladies jeans!

If she could see me now, she'd probably s--- a brick! And promptly tell everyone she knows about it!

[Tina B.]

[B]B] I forgot to say that it was me who broke off the relationship the first time. During our truth telling yesterday, I told her that she can be alittle overbearing. I feel that I'm easygoing person, but I don't want to be hinpecked. Even though I can say I do love her, I'm not in love with her.

Do you think she has changed, or will she still be overbearing? or as a femmine person, could you learn to like some of that?
And remember, loving someone and being in love are not the same, maybe she is not the one that would just be settleing, sometimes we grab out to anyone that didn't run out of the room screaming when we come out to them.
go slow, and be sure of what you want as well as just what she wants. unless one or both of you have changed your additude, it could just turn out to be a rerun.
Lots of Luck, it can be a sweet problem to figure out, Keep your eyes and heart open.
Tina B.