Being clocked(slight twist)

[Niya W]

So during lunch time I go to this adult book store. Grab what I want, pay for the items with a CC. The lady behind the counter I suspected was trans but what ever. She look at my n ails and asked me am I dressers.

My gay friends talk about gaydar. I wounder do trans [people have the equivalent. Tranny at 3 o'clock 30 feet out :)

[TommiTN]

So during lunch time I go to this adult book store. Grab what I want, pay for the items with a CC. The lady behind the counter I suspected was trans but what ever. She look at my n ails and asked me am I dressers.

My gay friends talk about gaydar. I wounder do trans [people have the equivalent. Tranny at 3 o'clock 30 feet out :)

Yes, we do; it's called CDAR. Mine's on all the time. Where I live now it hasn't picked up any "bogies", but several years ago when I lived in a larger city I spotted a few. One I remember in particular was working the serving line at a Luby's cafeteria, an absolutely gorgeous Mexican gurl. When our eyes locked for a second I knew, and she knew I knew. I think she knew I'm a CD, too. She gave me a Mona Lisa smile, like "I know you've spotted me and I've spotted you". Funny thing was I bore no outward signs, so how did she know? I went back several times after that hoping to see her again, but never did. She must have moved on. Two ships passing in the night?

[darla_g]

i think it is the same with women they are just more inclined to notice things like that

[SusanLaine]

I know I do. I think it's like noticing others with the same kind of car as yours or something like that. I think CDers in general are more focused on noticing the traits, even very subtle ones, that make it easier for us to see others like us.

I don't think women have anything like this but I think they can still spot a CDer a long ways away for another reason: womens "catiness." I'll often notice that women will make blunt comments about other women they see, sometimes sounding envious or jealous. I think women are always sizing-up other women against themselves and therefore they notice this stuff more.

Men, OTOH, don't see past legs, high heels or boobs...most of the time...:-)

[Jolene]

I know I do. I think it's like noticing others with the same kind of car as yours or something like that. I think CDers in general are more focused on noticing the traits, even very subtle ones, that make it easier for us to see others like us.

I don't think women have anything like this but I think they can still spot a CDer a long ways away for another reason: womens "catiness." I'll often notice that women will make blunt comments about other women they see, sometimes sounding envious or jealous. I think women are always sizing-up other women against themselves and therefore they notice this stuff more.

Men, OTOH, don't see past legs, high heels or boobs...most of the time...:-)

You are on to something here. I work around women and have seen this go on.
Jolene

[Niya W]

Well in this case we are both TS. She gave me her e-mail address and my space page.

I guess she actively pinged me with her TGdar.

Ok I now bad pun.

[carolinoakland]

Yeah, but you have to be careful. I really hurt a Transwoman who was living full time when I told her that I had clocked her in the middle of the dyke march. Someday I have to apologize to her.

[Niya W]

Well I she came up to me. Yeah I know not every trans woman that is full time wants to be ID/ associated as trans or with other trans people

[Katheryn]

I think she knew I'm a CD, too. She gave me a Mona Lisa smile, like "I know you've spotted me and I've spotted you". Funny thing was I bore no outward signs, so how did she know?

The moment when I realized I had to tear down the brick wall I'd put between Kate and the boy came about when a girl I'd just met (GG) asked me out of the blue "How long have you been a crossdresser?". It was a shock, especially since Kate was put away and I'd not had nails or makeup or even a pair of panties under my shorts.

She explained that she had worked as a Dominatrix and knew "the signs" (a big neon one over my head??). As I said in a previous post, that was the first time I told anyone about my other side, and the resulting calm that settled over the boy for the first time in years was the clue that locking Kate away was what was causing his upset-ness. And it didn't take long for the bad feelings to return. The realization came when I talked to her again about Kate and those feelings went away once more. That's when I came out to friends I knew who were part of the GBLT continuum. I had realized I was part of the giblets too!

They were the ones who made me fully realize that Kate had to be a part of my life or it would wobble out of control and coming out to my spouse and re-integrating Kate to my world was necessary... or else....

While the coming to terms part was easy, the coming out to my wife wasn't. But it all worked out and I am better for it. I wish everyone's situation was as easy (not that it seemed it at the time) as mine, but I know it isn't.

The sad thing is that much unhappiness comes from not being able to express all that we are and having to hide it from those closest to us. I now realize that if I hadn't come out, for good or ill, I'd have ended up an alcoholic or drug addict, and that not being what I am was tearing my life apart.

I am not fully out to the world, not everyone needs to know, but a spouse, a life partner if you will, needs to know what is important to this level in our lives, and if they can't accept that, perhaps it is better to part.... A pound of pain in one hit is better than an ounce of pain a day for the rest of your life.

My wife's one big worry was that I would leave her, transition and find a man. I told her that wasn't my case. I proved it over the ensuing years. Now she's found out the benefits of having a CD for a hubby. For example, someone to borrow hose from in case of a run in the last pair. And I never complain about how long it takes to "get ready", after all, it takes me twice as long.

K

[Sara Jessica]

I don't think women have anything like this but I think they can still spot a CDer a long ways away for another reason: womens "catiness."

Funny this should come up in the context of a clocking thread as I've recently witnessed both. I've said before that I rarely see TG individuals when I'm out. However, I was recently in a mall in guy mode and saw a girl who clearly was TG. The giveaway, thick suntan pantyhose with a mini-skirt of some sort on a hot summer day. But it was a little later that I observed something which I found much more interesting. There was this young, thin blonde walking towards me. She was wearing a skimpy skirt or really short shorts, I don't particularly remember. Why? Because she had this paired with these horribly bright fuschia stilleto pumps, beyond wrong for the outfit she was wearing. But then, not 5 paces behind this girl, there were two women who clearly were eyeing the girl and laughing incessantly. Cattiness at it's best!!!

[deja true]

Had a long conversation about this very thing with a good gg friend. She's in the giblets (love that! LOL!), too...so maybe a little more sensitized than most straight women.

It goes beyond just the subtle signals of longer nails, trim eyebrows, that many of us are looking for. Can't explain it exactly, but it also has to do with attitude, conversational tone, eye contact. There's some kind of spiritual connection or aura, if you will, especially with those who are confident and happy with themselves.

Wish I could explain it. But it's a talent worth cultivating, I think.

[tamarav]

I believe that most all CDs are very aware of their surroundings and can pick up cues from other Trans folk very naturally. I do not however, zero in and attack an CD I see, if the time and place are appropriate I amy say hi to them.

Fortunately since I am in the beauty industry, when I am dressed and out and see another "one" I am able to genuinely talk with her and associate fairly easily. But then again, I do that every day with GGs and other unidentified persons.
Have you ever known a shy hair stylist? Most of us are pretty outgoing, with a thickened skin from a constant stream of criticism over our styling skills. Remember that only about 90% of the clients are always happy with the style or work that you do for them. (But that is another story)

Your sis,

Tami

[Angie G]

Nothing like that ever happened to me. Maybe I've never ran accost the right person. :hugs:
Angie