Faced with the prospect of being found out

[joanne51]

My opportunities to dress are limited at the moment to early mornings before work, when my partner is asleep, and I slip on lingerie underneath my dressing gown (the lengths you go to experience CD'ing).

However, one day recently I got disturbed and had to hide some lingerie under a cushion on a sofa.
On my way to work, I got this sick feeling in my stomach when I realised I hadn't removed the items from under the cushion.

All day I was convinced that I would be found out, and resigned myself to an embarrassing conversation when I got home.

How I escaped I just don't know.

Trouble is, despite the pleasure and release that CD'ing gives us over the years, we face having our whole world come crashing down around us.

Has anyone had a similar experience (and feelings).

Love Joanne

[curse within]

I am going to take the fact that with you hideing the lingere your S/O doesn't know you are CDing? Have you ever thought about slowly teller your S/O I told mine long before we were married altho it was never accepted the way I wanted it to be she took it very well , but to me I was lying to myself and her if I didn'tlet her know it was better to tell her my way and she get the shock or find out in a way you didn't want you S/o to find

[Joanne f]

Catch 22, to tell or not to tell only you are in a position to know what is best in your situation , but just think what might have happened if your wife had found those panties and it is still possible that she might have .
What could be the thoughts that might be going through her head , she might think that they belong to another female that you had in there and i expect that would destroy her, that nagging thought of might be`s can do far more damage than the reality in most case`s.
I think that you should find a way to tell her .






joanne

[Sandra]

Joanne has made a good point had your wife found them the first thing she would have thought was you'd had another woman there.

Stop hiding and tell her.

[Katheryn]

Catch 22, to tell or not to tell only you are in a position to know what is best in your situation , but just think what might have happened if your wife had found those panties and it is still possible that she might have .
What could be the thoughts that might be going through her head , she might think that they belong to another female that you had in there and i expect that would destroy her, that nagging thought of might be`s can do far more damage than the reality in most case`s.
I think that you should find a way to tell her .
joanne

Hey Joanne...
That's exactly why I ended up bricking Kate up in a mental cell, my wife found a pair of panties and was taking it badly. Stupidly I played it off (there was a possible reason they were there other than another woman) and got rid of the stuff she didn't find.
Anyway, it took me years to end up telling her, and then only at the urging of some friends. I came out to those friends because Kate's unhappiness at being shoved out of the way was souring my male self's personality, making me quick to anger and just basically be an a-hole. I got better.....LOL....

Now I sort of flog myself over the lost years and the "might have beens" of what I lost over the time I was "soured" as you can call it. I lost friends, a job and Goddess knows what else while being a jerk. I realize now that it wasn't just Kate, or part of me, even, that was caged, it was really both of us locked in our own cages of misery.

As I said, better now.... ;)

K

[Tina Dixon]

It's not easy to just tell her my wife found pictures on the computer, but why so through the hassel in the morning any ways, heck wait till you have the house to your self?

[jill s]

Funny everyone so far has assumed the partner is female.

[tamarav]

I had this same situation in my first marriage. but she did find some things and assumed that there was another woman (or girl at that age). When i told her our marriage consumed itself and went downhill.

My current and final marriage is totally opposite. I told her well before our marriage date (we have been married 25 years) and she has been ok since. I mean, look at me dressing daily for work for God's sake!

I went from a totally hidden life and volatile personality to a dream come true.

Your sis,

Tami

[Amy Hepker]

I would tell her the truth, it will be harder on you if she just finds out someday. She would talk to everyone she knows and they would all say "Oh you are not going to stay with him are you, what a pervert" The next thing you know it would be over for the both of you. If you come out and be honest and tell her she still may leave, but she may not and you need to get your say in before she talks to friends or relatives. Let her know first that you are NOT GAY!!! Then explain how you feel, take it slow don't expect her to just say OK, you can dress whenever you want. Although this does happen from time to time, it is very unlikely.

[Angie G]

Many time before my wife knew I was there hun. She had found some thing I hadn't put away. At one point she was thinking I was having an affair and was sort of glad it was only my things. :hugs:
Angie

[debbeelee1]

Try telling your SO, it makes a great big difference when the household knows!

[Shelly Preston]

I know telling her seems the difficult option and I wont pretend its easy

What if she finds out and you have to explain without having made any preparations

Oh and what if she did see the items and is a point where she does not know what to think. She could be planning how to ask where they came from

[Nicole1]

Jill: This is the Male to Female section. Now she could be posting in the wrong section, but it is usually considered that the posts here refer to male CDs. Of course, we welcome any and all posts by female to male and GGs also.

Hugs,

Nicole

[icequeen]

fear is your worst enemy, but SO's seem to be more understanding that thought to be, honesty is always the best polilcy, and if your SO did find your things, they might think you are having an affair or something. Now might be your chance to tell them who you really are.

[jill s]

Ok this is the MTF section, so why would partner mean only a female partner? Can't men have male partners? Not saying that is what was meant but we are assuming aren't we?

[bridget thronton]

Yes I have experienced the "I must have left something out" feeling. This was only resolved by my telling my wife about my dressing so that when things were found it was no big deal.

[joanne51]

Jill,

Just to confirm that my partner is definitely female (and not one that is likely to take the news that I CD - and have been for the last 40 years - all that well). You can now see the problem I have.

To make it worse I really have a strong desire to dress completely (something I haven't been able to do up to now).

[Sandra]

My guess is she'll take it a lot worse if she finds out by accident.

[Tina B.]

telling is not easy, this site is filled with stories that have sad endings, but are you really happy now? And if you are noy, then how can she be. I told my wife years ago, and it took time for her to come to terms with it. But lucky for me, she stayed and I staarted dressing at home, with some boundries, I stoped being depressed, quit having flashes of arger, and we both found that I could be fun to be with, and the less boundries the better things got. I am still in the closet to the rest of the world, but have a great home life. It was worth all the fear, and the risk, But if it had of gone badly, I would still have done it, because I couldn't live with me, without dressing!
Tina B.

[Karren H]

Never really had those feelings.. Always told myself I'd just deal with what ever happened when it happend and didn't worry about it... But I assume its the same feeling I got when my wife did find out.. An overwhelming feeling of impending doom.. Yep. That's what it fet like for sure... Don't want to feel that again ever..

[valenstein]

I finally told my gf when I started to worry I might leave something around or lipstick on a cigarette. It took me a month just to find the words. If you decide to tell her, write it all down first. My gf likes that I don't do some of the things typical guys do, so I made a point to explain that many of those things come from this side of me and that I have been this way as long as I have known her. I tried to tell her but couldn't make the words come out, so I gave her what I wrote. I think it was harder on me than it was her, she said she didn't know, but kinda did.

Does she see the gentle side of you often? What indicators do you see that she wouldn't be supportive, or at least willing to listen?

[Nicole Erin]

...had to hide some lingerie under a cushion on a sofa.
On my way to work, I got this sick feeling in my stomach when I realised I hadn't removed the items from under the cushion.

All day I was convinced that I would be found out, and resigned myself to an embarrassing conversation when I got home.



That sick feeling is the WORST! It is like the brain sends a fast message to the stomach "QUICK start hurting!!" And how convenient that this realization always happens real early in the day. You probably should have just taken the hit and been late for work. The boss's foot would not hurt your butt for but a second.

Yeah it would be easier if you told her but if that is not practical, then yeah in the future just be REAL careful!



Ok this is the MTF section, so why would partner mean only a female partner? Can't men have male partners? Not saying that is what was meant but we are assuming aren't we?

Well Jill, it looks like, ummm, we were right, she has a female SO. So, nyah nyah nyahnyah nyah nyah..:D

[carolyn todd]

hello joanne
what do you think your wife would do if she found some underwear you never put away properly, would she think you have had another women in your house while your wife was out.
better still you look at your side if you came home one day and found a pair of men underpants under the behind a cushion in front room that wen't
yours what would you do ?.

joanne only you know weather your wife has found your underwear
under the cushion or not by the way she react, perhap take her out shopping
or when you are out shopping together say you have to buy some underwear
mens.

question: how would your wife react to you tell her that you like to crossdress in women clothes

carolyn xx