No longer in the Closet

[AKAMichelle]

I have been reading a lot about going out for your first time. I have been planning and preparing for the eventual coming out party. :D I bought tons of clothes / wigs / purses and shoes. Made all of the normal preparations. Tonight after posting about all of the clothes, I looked at the clothes and realized that the time had come.

So like many others before me, got all dressed. Did the best I could with the makeup. I know it wasn't right, but I had to go before I lost the nerve. Then got in the car and drove far enough away that no one would know me and headed for the Wal-Mart. :D Those people must get tired of seeing all of the different people late at night.

So there I was sitting in front of Wal-Mart and saw a bunch of teenagers hanging around and lost my nerve. Drove to another Wal-Mart and then saw all of the stockers taking a smoke break. Waited for them to finish and finally my chance came. I froze in fear for another 5 minutes until I said enough is enough. Got out of the car and walked in. I avoided people as much as possible, but one lady popped out from around a corner and said "Hello". I was about to need a paramedic. I wasn't going to quit I had to shop. Even though I didn't buy anything, I realized how much more normal it felt to be shopping for female items.

I now have the confidence to do what I have been planning for several months. Go to a movie followed by some shopping. I am finally enjoying myself. Life is GOOD!!! :D

[curse within]

Excellent Michelle, that took a lot of nerve and sounds like you pulled it off well way to go. I live in an single level apartment with small back yards lucky for me I have a park over the fence. I have been dressed most of the day leaving the blinds open on the arcadia door people where passing without even noticeing anything aout of the ordinary. I even sat outside for a while in the daylite back yard of course. Then when it got dark enough I hopped the fence and went for a walk in the park no one was around tho thank God. Another little step I was just daring myself.

[stevie b]

Well done Michelle, I recently went out for the first time but only for a drive and know how nervous I was. You did well girl to enter a shop. Looking forward to hearing about your next trip.:thumbsup:
xx

[TommiTN]

Another butterfly takes flight...:)

[antonia_bee]

Hey, a massive well done is in order. Its not easy, but it's fantastically liberating. This is just the start for you. I'm a little further on, but loving every minute of it!
Good luck!#x

[AKAMichelle]

I had been going for long walks at night dressed en femme for 2 years. Very few people ever saw me and most of them couldn't ever tell anything. It is totally different to go out in the dark than it is to be seen by anybody and everybody.

All I can tell anyone is just do it. You will never be the same after you go out. I only had a few stares by some teenagers. I elected to avoid them since they don't have a lot of respect for certain things generally and I didn't want a scene.

Finally it comes down to one thing. If you want to be happy then accept who you are. Share yourself with others. Be cautious obviously since not everyone is understanding. Don't hide yourself. Get out there. Or you could always be afraid of someone seeing you dressed. :devil: Personally I would rather control the whole situation and get out of the house dressed the way I want.

[brandic]

What a great story Michelle. I've never made it farther than taking out the trash en femme. I know I will soon go for a drive, and I am looking forward to it. You are an inspiration.

[shannonsilk]

The first time is pretty nerve wracking. I only was in the store for a few minutes. I hope things go easier soon.
K Mart is sometimes better as there are fewer people in them, or Sears.:thumbsup:

[Cary]

Way to go Michelle!!!:)

[Mitch23]

well done michelle - I know how that first time feels - the terror followed by the buzz. Life will never be the same again

mitch

[tamarav]

There is no stopping you now. You now know that you can pull it off and just get better from here on in. So get your next venture planned and execute it. You will find that it gets much easier as time goes on, but the rush never dies.

Your new sis,

Tami

[PaulaPts]

Your story is something that we all can relate to. Everyone's first time out is scary. You showed a lot of courage especially going on your own. Who knows, maybe next its a makeover or outing to sephora.

[tracigirl_tv]

Michelle, well done! I hope you keep us posted on your outings *hugggg*

[paulaN]

Way to go!!!!!!! Another cd sprouts her wings. I love it, you love it, heck we all love it. I am so happy for you cuz I know there is nothing quite like it. And it only gets better. LOL paulaN

[Angie G]

you go girl no stopping you now hun.:hugs:
Angie

[NatalieBliss]

Congratulations!

[CD Susan]

Congratulations Michelle! I know the feeling as my first time out was just a couple of months ago. I have not gone to Walmart yet but it is on my list of places to go. You have a lot of courage and sharing your story with us only gives us the inspiration to do what you have acomplished. Thanks.

[SaraCDPA]

Way to go! I am new to going out dressed. I started going for a drive now I working my way up to shopping. Is K mart and walmart cd freindly?

[Tracy_NM]

It is totally unpredictable when I will step outside and CD. My wife was gone for a month this summer so I dressed up every day. I thought I would step out of the closet more than I actually did but could only do it as much as I felt like. One morning I decided to dress up as a woman to walk around the block. I felt freedom and fear at the same time. For me it is almost like for every step forward, I take two steps back. Perhaps too much evaluating and worry of who saw me and didn't do it again. I dressed up in my backyard alot and know I was spotted by at least one neighbor looking out his second floor window, the lesbian couple behind me and perhaps the neighbor to the south. The fear of being seen made me withdraw from these neighbors.
What I discovered is that dressing up is a state of mind thing. When you feel like by all means go for it but remember that you might have some explaining to do later on and you will need to be emotionally strong and ready for it.

[tricia_uktv]

So just make sure you smile :) It makes all the difference in the world. Lovely s5tory though and I'm so pleased for you.

[Edyta_C]

Way to go!! I made a step out to day myself. Went thru the bank and Post office drive thru's in the car. Tan Slacks with Brown Heels and a yellow pullover with ribbon trim. I felt good for the first time. So try it again! You are still braver than I am.

Hugs Edyta

[charlie]

Watch out, she is on her way!

[bobbie_1048]

Way to go Michelle!!!:)


Michelle, well done! I hope you keep us posted on your outings *hugggg*

Hiya Michelle :)
don't ya just luv it !!!!!!!!!!! Each time you venture out the confidence grows, wait till the first time you go out looking and trying on shoes. You're gonna have a ball. :bighug: bobbie

[noname]

I can't stress safety enough. I recommend not going out at night, really it is dangerous.

[AKAMichelle]

Hiya Michelle :)
don't ya just luv it !!!!!!!!!!! Each time you venture out the confidence grows, wait till the first time you go out looking and trying on shoes. You're gonna have a ball. :bighug: bobbie

That will be this week. I found Nordstrom's Rack has size 12 shoes and a great selection to boot. Got to go try them on in the store for a change. I'm tired of buying shoes that pinch later.

[Angela d'Evial]

I wish I could do this !!!!!
I feel like a soldier that practice 40 years and never see the real action.

[paula jessica rains]

i come out of the closet 3 years ago and then ran back in but now i am all the way out and i am happy i told my wife that i returned to it and when she said we wern't into one other she found out that i was gay but now i am free to be me jessica rains but were good friends and are going to be roommates and no longer husben and wife.............................love jessica r.

[vivian33]

congrats, my heart was pounding the first time i went out shopping and trying clothes on...i can only imagine what it feels like to go out