Coming out to male friends?

[adrienner99]

Many of us struggle with coming out to our wives or girlfriends. I'm just curious if anyone has told their best male friend.

I've never been able to tell my wife. But even if I could I am not sure I could tell my male buddies...Has anyone else?

[trannie T]

The first person I told was a male friend. I had gone to a crossdressing event one weekend and saw him a day or two after I got back. He asked me what I had done over the weekend and I gave him a vague answer, that I'd gone to a club in Reno. He kept asking for more details and I quickly tired of avoiding his questions. When he pressed for more details I finally told him that I had gone to a crossdressing function and that I was a crossdresser. His reaction was priceless, it was as if he had suffered a severe blow to his head. His jaw hanged open and his expression was totally blank. When he recovered he mada a little joke about crossdressing. We have never discussed crossdressing in any depth but he does mention it occasionally. We have remained friends and it has had no discernable effect on our friendship.

[NatalieBliss]

The second person I told was my best guy-friend. We where roommates and where thinking about moving to a new place, I was tired of hiding it from him and he had just told me his deepest darkest secret, so I just told him. He has never seen me dressed and we haven't spoken about it since, both of which are fine by me. He does make occasional remarks that make me wonder if he is referring to it, but he doesn't treat me any differently.

[debbeelee1]

Nope, not yet and probably may never come out to any male friends!

[katrinacd]

Believe it or not, all of my close male friends know about Katrina and are cool with it. Guess I choose quality, open-minded friends!

[joann07]

Last year, during my 20yr HS reunion, I told my best friend and he was totally cool with it.
I told another close buddy (college friend), a month or two before my reunion, and he was accepting of it, but in shock.
He has seen pictures of me, but hasn't seen me dressed in person.
It's taking time for him soak it all in, after that inital shock, but he continues to support me, and of course, razz me in good fun.
His wife is just as supportive so hopefully she'll convince him and he'll eventually open up and see me in person.
I'm not going to push it and just let things ride.

Hugs!

[Sandra Dunn]

I'm not sure when I told my best male friend about Sandra. He's a partner in a busniness venture for some time and I think I told him 10 years maybe. He has seen me dressed and says it's " your thing and not mine". He does tell me I look pretty good for a guy in a dress. Of course he's comparing me to both my butch side and femme side. We don't discuse it much. When we travel on business I do at times dress up unless we're meeting suppliers shortly after arriving.
As the need comes I am introducing Sandra to more people and I find it very easy, I am aware that freindship or aquaintence may become severed. I go into that conversation knowing the freindship might become severed and I am willing to take that chance. Since I started going to an MCC church I have found nore friends and those I've told have accepted me for me. Hey I came out as a "Male Bellydancer" at work and I'm still employed and in fact I was promoted recently. You just can't tell what'll happen. You've heard" when one door closes, another one opens" well it's true.
Sister and all you Sisters reading this let's be true to ourselves.Let's get involved on the political front and get things changed. I know your scared to tell your friend, ask yourself how long can you continue to lie and do you trust anyone outside the TG community. HUGS and my BEST to you Sandra

[Oddlee]

I spent a week at a lakeside cabin in Montana with my best friend and his wife (last week in July), and my daughter (who knows about her dad's CD'ing). We've been friends for 30+ years. I told them a couple nights before we left. It has made no difference to them or to our relationship. They have discussed me and he had a few questions, but there has been no change in our relationship that I can detect...

Lee

[IMJenn]

I told my best friend when we were about 16 or so...His response was basically "That's weird, but you do what you want to make you happy. Just don't do it in front of me."

Which is fine. It never affected our friendship, and 6 years later he is still my best friend.

[Crissy Kay]

No way would I tell any of my male friends. I think they would have a hard time beliving it. They tend toward the macho side!! I am glad to hear that it worked out well for those who posted.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I did when I was a teenager. We all grew apart with time but everyone was cool. In my adult life I almost told a person who I believe is no longer walking the land. He was over 7feet and I know he would have met Victoria and in a photo we would have looked normal:)

[KATIE TV]

Yes all my male friends know including, Bikers, Battle re-enactors, ie all a bit butch, they are are cool with it although most don't want to meet Katie, My real close friends all meet Katie and don't bat an eyelid, Maybe I'm just lucky with my choice of friends.
Katie

[jenni_xx]

Most of my friends know, and most are cool with it - they tease me about it from time to time, but it's taken in good jest, and I just laugh it off. My reaction, I believe, makes them respect me all the more for it.

I remember one night, in my local pub, when I was having a beer with a couple of my male friends. This was before I knew they knew about me (I had told a close female friend about my crossdressing who must have let it slip to others behind my back). Anyway, we were laughing and joking about something (can't remember what), but it caused one of my friends to say outright "you're a tranny", to which I replied, without batting a eyelid "yeah, so what if I enjoy dressing up". I then realised that I had said this a little to loudly, and everyone around us shot a glance towards me. I just looked at my friends and then we all burst out laughing. The timing and "audacity" (if you will) of my comment just completely broke the ice.

[pinkeverything]

my friends smelled perfume on me last night and made a comment. Kept looking at how close my shave was and the leftover eye makeup that I can never get off.

[jeenie67]

Hi. and welcome...I'm scared to death (kinda) if my friends ever found out. My entire immediate family knows and it's taken as....that's Jeenie...,but I have to wear glasses sometimes to hide my fem-eyebrows and at work/study I just be myself; nobody says anything. Recently I rented the lower flat to my nephew and his two friends; this is tricky! Jeenie

[Petra Harper]

I've told almost everybody I know about me. It's only almost everybody because I've not met them all yet since I became Petra. They are all cool with it except one neighbour (male, or, more precisely, an old woman) and one female friend, but she wasn't very nice anyway!

I told my wife first, in fact I told her way before I became Petra and she helped me become Petra! I then told two men friends, again one of them before I really became Petra. Both the men friends see me as Petra, and, if I'm Petra, they always call me Petra and they take a positive interest in Petra's clothes, makeup, perfume and behaviour. They are both robustly male and heterosexual, one of them a really keen sportsman and positively male; the other more arty, a photographer, but still a rampant male. However, they both love and care for Petra; they even defend Petra against her detractors if I'm not present and I love them (as friends).

BTW Before visiting, the photographer always checks who I will be before he comes over; he much prefers visiting Petra because she is so much gentler and doesn't shout. So much so that I am now always Petra for him and he greets me and bids me farewell with hugs and kisses as a male friend would do with a female friend.

I think I'm so lucky.

[jeenie67]

Hi again, Although I am what I am and I'm happy with myself, the very few close friends I have...it will take some tact...I don't want any phisiopsychological impact to alter the relationships one iota....Jeenie

Hi, I have to put this one away!!!...It was my former wife who really turned me totally a few years ago. As a student of modeling she taught me fem-tech (makeup, wlking etc).

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

Thats great for everyone who told their males friends and they were cool with it. I have two best friend who I have known since we were teenagers an if I told them,I think they would be shocked because they always know as the guy I am.After that they probably be cool with as long as I didn't go out with them dressed. My good friend who I've known since 1991 would be ok with also as long as I didn't do it when out with him also. Now I have another friend who I know I could never ever tell. He loves to gossip. If he knew I CD,he would have all over our town.


But I like keeping Felicity a secret. Its kind of fun to be a CDer and have no one know except for my wife, and all of you here.

Felicity :)

[keeganmeuer]

Luckily for me, the only time I ever told another male friend actually resulted in finding out that he crossdressed as well, which couldn't have come at a better time when I was younger. Another one of my guy friends found out through a close female friend that spilled the beans years back. Knowing that he wouldn't be the type of person to be able to accept that, I denied it as being some type of joke I told her and everything went back to normal.

[april1978]

I don't think any of my male friends would accept my CD, but i have been wrong before.

[marny]

If my male friends haven't picked up on the shaved legs and the painted toes they are obviously too busy. I think they like me too much and are too polite to say anything until I bring it up first,

[Bev06 GG]

I don't think any of my male friends would accept my CD, but i have been wrong before.

At the end of the day April what is there to accept. They dont live with you, theyre not having a relationship with you, and how would it affect them. I would like to think short of a murderer or a paedophile, I would accept my friends for most anything that they do just so long as it wasn't causing any harm or pain to others. And if a friend thought enough of me to share something so personal I would feel very privilidged that they felt they could do.
take care
Bev

[Jonianne]

I've told about 8 or so of my close male friends (work,church, etc), and have never had any negative responses. In fact, several then felt free to share some very personal things in their lives with me afterward.

Now, I am still very descrete with whom I share it with. Some of my male friends may not be as open.

[Jocelyn Renee]

I actually don't have all that many male friends (go figure), but I told my best buddy many years ago. He was actually quite curious about it and we had a pretty in-depth conversation during a 4-hour car trip we were taking. He now goes out with my wife and I quite often, as do a handful of other male friends that know. They don't really treat me any differently, but men seem to have difficulty remembering to refer to me by the proper name in public, which has made for some interesting looks.

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

If my male friends haven't picked up on the shaved legs and the painted toes they are obviously too busy. I think they like me too much and are too polite to say anything until I bring it up first,

Marny,
I don't think too many straight men are going too notice another guy's shaved legs. I've been shaving my legs and under my arms all summer,been wearing guy shorts and a bathing suit to the pool and guy tank tops and all the guys I know haven't noticed a thing.

At the pool,there are GG lifeguards who are in their 20's. When I go to sign in,I noticed that they're checking out my legs. When signing out, I raised my arm to put up my sun glasses and the one definitly noticed I shaved under my arm. I don't know if they suspect or not,but I'm not worried about it.


Felicity :)

[PamelaTX]

I wouldn't give anyone I cared about more than they could handle. But if one of my male friends came right out and asked me, I wouldn't lie about it. I'd probably give him an answer like, "Gee I thought it was obvious. Don't worry about it, it's no big deal."