Given an ultimatum-- A question for TRANSSEXUALS

[Alan]

Completely hypothetical here, because I've been wondering. All TRANSSEXUALS can answer.

Imagine that the person of your dreams -- I won't bother describing him/her, obviously -- is real and interested in you. And this is the person you've been dreaming of -- real or imaginary, I don't care, but this is the person you believe can make you happy like no other.

Except, this person says that they'll only take you if you're the gender you were born as. No cross-dressing, revert back to your original name, and accept ma'am/sir, she/he.

Would you do it?

[Cai]

No way. If they want that, they're not the person of my dreams. They could make me happy in any other way imaginable, but if I had to go back to living as a woman, I'd have to go back to a life where I was depressed and suicidal every day. I can't really imagine a relationship that would fix that.

And also, Jenn is right. If I tried to suppress it for someone, it would come back eventually. It's who I am - nothing I can do about that.

[xTwo_Of_Heartsx]

Hell no.
If they can't accept me for who I am, I don't want to be with them.

[John]

stick em. If they want you to be miserable, depressed, suisidal and self distructive, their really not the person of your dreems.

[Niya W]

stick em. If they want you to be miserable, depressed, suisidal and self distructive, their really not the person of your dreems.

Bingo, I'd be in the grave before I reverted back.

[Felix]

Hun my answer although some months ago may have been yes is now no!!!! I have decided that I am who I am and like it or lump it that is it. So even if the person of my dreams hypothetically of course asked me this question I think I would say sorry but I am who I am so ya either love me this way or it won't work!!!!!! xx Felix

[ZenFrost]

No. Like Kurt Cobain said, I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not. If the 'perfect' person could not accept me as me, he/she wouldn't really be all that perfect then.

[Siobhan Marie]

I would have to say NO. You either take me as I am or not all xx :hugs:

[Sara Violet]

NO! I would rather be alone then be who I was. I would never be happy. So that is kind of an oxymoron for me, as no person could ever make me happy as a guy. I had that "perfect" person and I gave it up to be a girl.

[Alan]

I wouldn't've taken it either, but it had been going around in my head for a while, and I was curious. In retrospect, it is a pretty silly question.

[Kieron Andrew]

Would you do it?

hell would freeze over first

[Ryan]

No.

[CaptLex]

I wouldn't've taken it either, but it had been going around in my head for a while, and I was curious. In retrospect, it is a pretty silly question.
I don't think it's silly. Some people are willing to try and find a compromise for someone who means a lot to them, but I think they're just kidding themselves ultimately. :straightface:

[Alan]

I don't think it's silly. Some people are willing to try and find a compromise for someone who means a lot to them, but I think they're just kidding themselves ultimately. :straightface:

See, I was thinking about it because I'm a loner and I don't get along well with people, and I was wondering... if that one person came to me and said that, would I cave?

And I guess I wouldn't, because I have a fairly strong constitution that can handle being alone... but I wonder if I'd regret it. :idontknow:

[Wolfie]

It would never work. Trust me - I'm an old well was female - and totally miserable but lived for 40 years trying to be the person the body said I was - got the stretch marks and wedding ring to prove it... 2nd marriage, love of my life.. great maybe I'll be ok and can live as a woman... err lets see the last five years had so many tablets - some even prescribed! most in OD's - been in and out of the local mental hospital - finally admitted to myself that no amount of love etc can ever make up for own peace of mind. A choice had to be made. Either to live with frequent stays in local mental hospital and becoming a 'frequent flyer' in the local ER (Or getting suicide right eventually) and remaining a woman and definitely keeping the love of my life or taking a leap into the unknown but gaining peace of mind, becoming outwardly what I am inwardly, losing friends (were they real friends?) losing parents (lost a few sets already - so whats one more?) and probably in the future losing the love of my life (he likes women and boobs and stuff... booo hooo)
So no - don't deny who you are for another - it will not work long term. Maybe short term but eventually it will cause a breakdown.. trust me I and many others have been there.

So there is my pennies worth - for what it is worth - that of a rambling .. well just rambling wolfie!

[EliTheBarrowBoy]

I'd rather live alone as the person I am than live being in a relationship as someone I'm not.

[Adam]

i would die first
hell would frezze over
i would live alone forever

and my thinking is there not the person of my dreams if they wont accept me for myself anyways

[Hidden Tell]

I wish I could accept that preposition. Being in love is tricky like that. I want so much to make this one person happy and hear them say they do love me.... But as has been mentioned, that would be a lie since he can't love me for the person I truly am. SO whilest I almost wish I were naive enough to say yes and love conquers all, the answer ultimately has to be no.
Guess I'm just a romantic sap though, eh? :(

[MichelleBolton]

Hi,

I was given an ultimatum to make a decision within two weeks, after trying to work thru this during years. I wasn't ready to make a decision either way, yet the ultimatum still ended my marriage.

I couldn't live to her request, so therefore the marriage ended.

It's important to be with one who will love you for who you are.

Hugs,

Michelle

[Steph Butterfield]

I'd walk away, I wouldn't de-transition for anyone. If someone cannot ever accept me as Stephanie, they have no place in my life.