Hobby or Lifestyle?

[Cary]

I have been reading this forum and have noticed that some call CDing a hobby while others call CDing a lifestyle. I feel calling this a hobby cheapens what it is for me. The definition of a hobby is a pastime activity. I'm not doing this to pass the time. It's not like collecting stamps or building model cars. This is who I am. This is not somethig that I'm going to grow out of or pass down to my children. For me this is a constantly changing force that started at a young age. I feel it's in my DNA. If I've offended anybody, I'm sorry! I want to know what is CDing to you?

[Tina B.]

I find both to be a funny way to put it, I agree, it is more than just a hobby, I have a couple of hobbies them I can spend time on them or not. But Crossdressing is not really my lifestyle, that sounds more full time to me, if you are 24/7 then thats a lifestyle. but somethimes I can't stop dressing, and other times I go for weeks, maybe even months that I never even think about it. So that does not seem like a lifestyle. For me at least, the term that comes to mind is a compulstion, but I guess that sounds worse than Hobby of Lofestyle! LOL
Tina B.

[Holly]

...I want to know what is CDing to you?Simply a part of my being; who I am.

[Rachel Morley]

Is it hobby?......hummm....this is maybe a good way of putting it over to someone who doesn't really understand what CDing is for a lot of people, or you could say it’s kind of like having a gender vacation. But for me I'd have to say it's a bit more serious than a hobby or a vacation. A hobby is what I used to tell myself it was before I accepted what it really actually is for me. It effects me emotionally too much to be a hobby, I'd have to say that (for me) it's an integral part of who I am. I know I can't be happy without incorporating it into my everyday life.

[KarenSusan]

I love doing it so much and yet feel like it's a monkey on my back. What is that called?

[renee k]

I have been reading this forum and have noticed that some call CDing a hobby while others call CDing a lifestyle. I feel calling this a hobby cheapens what it is for me. The definition of a hobby is a pastime activity. I'm not doing this to pass the time. It's not like collecting stamps or building model cars. This is who I am. This is not somethig that I'm going to grow out of or pass down to my children. For me this is a constantly changing force that started at a young age. I feel it's in my DNA. If I've offended anybody, I'm sorry! I want to know what is CDing to you?

I agree,

It's been part of me practically all my life. And I'm not going to change now.

Huggs, Renee

[unclejoann]

"Hobby" is the code word I use with my wife (that keeps it non-threatening to her).

I carefully avoid the use of the word "obsession" because that refers to something you cannot control and will eventually ruin your life (so she explained to me).

"Life" and "style" do not seem like words that even work in the same sentence.

To myself, I just think of myself as a girl.

[sparks]

On the most part CDing is more pain then pleasure. Constantly fighting inward battles makes me tired.
Once it meant alot to me now I just want it away, so far away.

[harmony]

cding a hobby?
too trivial-its part of who i am-i am not a stamp or a model airplane
cding a lifestyle?
expressing my fem side is a top priority in my life-it takes over every free moment after all the "chores" are done.
compulsive!
every waking moment is influenced by the desire-the fem side totally takes over my life-my decision making ability is impaired.it can make me extremely selfish.
i have gone through all these stages and think i have-at my age-
found a balance.
i have accepted that i am a crossdresser and i am not ashamed of it and when i feel the need will present myself as such to society at large.
there are many interresting facets to my life that are worth persuing=crossdressing is one of them.
compulsion makes you a puppet on a string!i am to a large degree in charge of my life and destiny.
finding a balance and harmony in all of this is a result of much soulsearching and would probably not have been possible with out going through all those stages.

[jill s]

If it were a Hobby we wouldn't see "how can I quite ? " post all the time. I HATE the term lifestyle. To me it implies a choice and thats why the pin heads use it when talking about gays,lesbians and the rest of us. They want to belive we pick this "lifestyle" and should be free to just give it up.

[Deborah Jane]

Not a hobby...Not a lifestyle

Just a part of of who i am

Nothing more...Nothing less

[LilSissyStevie]

Yeah, it's *just* a hobby for me. So is playing musical instruments. I haven't been a musician for as long as I've been a crossdresser but I have spent a lot more time and effort at it. I would give up crossdressing before I would give up music. And yes, I could quit crossdressing if I really felt it was necessary. I just can't think of a good reason. It causes me no problems. I gave up dope and alcohol 30 year ago and I quit cigarettes 22 years ago and, believe me, they had a lot greater hold on my psyche than crossdressing does. So, I know it can be done. Ultimately, it is a choice. Sure, I would miss it but, then again, I miss smoking cigarettes and getting high sometimes too. Crossdressing is just one way for me to express the feminine part of me. There are other ways to do that. The clothes don't make me who I am. I'm *me* whether I'm wearing girl clothes or guy clothes or nothing at all. I can't quit being me (and live), but I do ultimately have a choice over my actions, including what clothes I wear.
:love:

[Lisa_M]

Not a hobby...Not a lifestyle

Just a part of of who i am

Nothing more...Nothing less

i must agree with deborah on this. For me its just who I am.

[debbeelee1]

Hobbies do turn into passions with do turn into lifestyles!

[bobbie_1048]

Simply a part of my being; who I am.


Not a hobby...Not a lifestyle

Just a part of of who i am

Nothing more...Nothing less


i must agree with deborah on this. For me its just who I am.

I'm in total agreement with Holly, Debroah jane, and Lisa on this. I'm so glad I finally accepted my fem side, I'm much better for doing so.

[Melanie R]

Crossdressing is not a lifestyle or a hobby. Crossdressing is the external expression through clothing of the femininity we feel internally. And yes you can feel your femininity without the feminine clothing.

[curse within]

Neither hobby or lifestyle, Cding is an urge that nags at me un til satisfied it's for the most part short lived but strong stonger than anything I have ever encountered stonger than breaking a smokeing habit stronger than getting off of drugs. Interfers in my everday lifestyle of either regreting the fact I gave in or can't wait to go home and dress. it is haunting to say the less of maybe a split personality something or someone trying to get out of you breaking the shell and the ties that bind it from being kept at bay for to long because the tighter the lid the harder it blows.

[paula jessica rains]

jessica rains is who i am and if i had to i would become jessica rains only but i have an 9 year old daughter who knows me as her father paul so i am both and proud of it....................love jessica rains

[susan fuller]

I agree with those that said that it is who I am and who I want to be. I would be susan all the time if it wasn't for the love ones in my family. I enjoy being susan and being dressed in all the fine faminne clothes as much as I can. Which is most of the time lately.

[Joanne f]

Simply a compulsion i have to do it in some form or i am as ratty as hell , it is like asking me to stop breathing for 10 min , you can`t it is a natural thing so you have to do it .
some will call it a cures but it is like being cursed with something wonderful, so maybe me should say a blessing that we have to bear.




joanne







joanne

[deja true]

Curse AND Blessing!

[Ruth]

Melanie said what I would have said: "Crossdressing is the external expression through clothing of the femininity we feel internally."
Now this obviously does not equate to either a hobby or a lifestyle. I've said before on these forums that it is like a second life for me. I need to be both Ruth and that guy. Neither of them is going to take over and neither is going to go away.

[trannie T]

For many of us crossdressing is a compulsion. Many of us do not wish to describe it as an obsession or a compulsion and use the word 'hobby.' 'Hobby' is a nice non-threatening word and it implies that our compulsive behavior is voluntary.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I suppose it CAN be a HOBBY.---- As i do it to Relax and Escape, it might not quite fit the category of a hobby, but i think I am turning it into one. The trick is "what do i do with it when dressed?"

I "collect" different looks and faces I create when I CD---or do a 'disguise' (many also MALE). I photograph them and past them in an album----I have a few of them in my Album on my profile page HERE.

[satin on satin GG]

My SO and I have used the term hobby as a code word as well.

[Karren H]

A cross between a hobby and a sport... Spobby... Hort!! :)

[docrobbysherry]

If u consider a hobby a pastime that can make a 60 y/o feel simutaniously young, hot, and/or erotic! I pursue this hobby with passion and compulsion unmatched by any other of my hobbies.

Oh yeah, just a hobby!

[Annemarie]

Cding is a state of mind that never leaves you, however much wish it would ; it is a compulsion that needs to be satisfied every so often . Creating looks, learning makeup, buying clothes and being good at the material aspects of cding is the hobby aspect of cding which can be very satisfying in its own right, but does not exist wthout the compulsion itself...

[gagirl1]

hobby is a good word to explain it to those who don't understand, but honestly, don't most hobbies influence one's lifestyle at least a little?

[kaitlin]

Hey Girls, Hobby or life style???? For me it is with out question my life style! I may not go out fully dressed but I do push my redneck town limits. I am always under dressed and if for some strange, bad reason my toenails are not done or my legs are not smooth I feel incomplete or even dirty! I don't own and would not wear mens underware, etc, etc, etc....you get the point! So yes, it is my chosen life style! Kaitlin

[Nicki B]

Neither. We didn't choose it, we were born that way? Just try stopping..

[Steveo]

first off, may i say that when i said hobby, i as most trans people know does not cover the entire culture we enhabit, it is not the literal meaning of the word per say, everybody here knows that transgenderism does'nt go away so no, as stamp collecting can be put away golf clubs can be put in the boot/trunk whatever euphemism you want to put on it, i meant it as a coverall word, and to those of you who got the meaning of my post i applaud you, and to those who did'nt i am sorry if i offended you. bfn.

[Claire3]

It is truly who i am.

[darla_g]

my SO calls it a hobby and i am inclined to go along with it. I know some take offense to this work thinking it trivializes it, but hey there are some who are quite passionate about their hobbies.

[CharleneT]

Vintage dresses are my hobby, being transgendered is just what I am.

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm *me* whether I'm wearing girl clothes or guy clothes or nothing at all. I can't quit being me (and live), but I do ultimately have a choice over my actions, including what clothes I wear.
:love:

I like Stevie's note. Both Lifestyle and Hobby indicate choice. This is something deeper, something that makes me think I'm hardwired to be this way.

[Jonianne]

Crossdressing is also an artform, a self-portrait, an outward expression of how we feel on the inside. Just try to take painting away from an artist!


Vintage dresses are my hobby, being transgendered is just what I am.

I think that is a good way to put it. For me, certain aspects of it could be considered a hobby, but crossdressing itself is far more than a hobby. One of my therapists called it a lifestyle, but I never liked the sound of that for some reason.

Its like asking "Who am I?" and not answering with our name, family, work, gender, or all the things that describe us, but does not answer the question of "Who am I".

[Nicki B]

my SO calls it a hobby and i am inclined to go along with it. I know some take offense to this work thinking it trivializes it, but hey there are some who are quite passionate about their hobbies.

I can understand why outsiders liken it to a hobby - some hobbyists (and sports players) do get extremely obssessional about their pastimes?

(The term 'golf widow' springs to mind..)

But it's not really a choice for us, is it - or many of us would have chosen a less difficult path, earlier on?

[ReineD]

If I may venture an opinion, I think it is a need, which is defined as a condition requiring relief. It is not a choice. It may become an obsession for those who feel frustrated with being unable to meet the need to fully express the female self in our society. Hence the drive to have the need be met in the mind, if there are a limited number of other outlets. :2c:

[ChristineCDWA]

It's too deep in the psyche to be considered a hobby, too liberating for feminine energies; Every time I dress up, I feel like a woman that's been set free, and can finally be as she/I am.

I can't describe the feeling of complete inner peace I get from being fully dressed.. Like the weight of the world is off my shoulders and I can finally breathe.

I've felt obsessive about this before, back when I hid from everyone, as any human being would feel "obsessive" about that which they truly want but cannot have... now that I'm finally expressing my female self, those feelings have gone away.

So.. I vote neither. I am me, so there! :tongueout

[Bev06 GG]

"Hobby" is the code word I use with my wife (that keeps it non-threatening to her).

I carefully avoid the use of the word "obsession" because that refers to something you cannot control and will eventually ruin your life (so she explained to me).

"Life" and "style" do not seem like words that even work in the same sentence.

To myself, I just think of myself as a girl.

I agree I think it is a lifestyle but like joann says hobby is a less threatening word for people who dont totally understand the status quo, especially spouses who dont really feel comfortable with it.
Bev

[FlygrlChristy]

Original post by TrannyT:


For many of us crossdressing is a compulsion. Many of us do not wish to describe it as an obsession or a compulsion and use the word 'hobby.' 'Hobby' is a nice non-threatening word and it implies that our compulsive behavior is voluntary



Well said T.:hugs:

If this were a hobby for me, I'd be able to walk away from it, but that's never gonna happen, and like everyone I've tried at one time or another. I've never felt like I had to hide my hobbies, unlike this gift. I've always been able to choose my hobbies, this one just happened to choose me for whatever reason, so I have to accept the fact that now, for better or worse, hopefully better, I'm along for this ride and this train just won't be stopped.

Christy

[tamarav]

I am guilty of calling it both a hobby and a lifestyle depending on my audience. I have also called it a complusion, addiction, obssession and any number of other things. Heck, I have even told people that I dress that way because it is my work "uniform". In fact, it is impossible to come up with a single term that explains it for everyone. We could all beat this to death forever.

The fact that I am working daily dressed and interacting with men and women all day, I have to tailor my conversations to not offend and to explain or educate as far as the client can understand. No need trying to drive home a word wedge that they may not agree with. Being totally visable has given me a different point of view than I previously had when I was heavily closeted and I was the only one that I ever had to explain anything to...

Believe me, I have heard every question that could be asked, plus 3.

Your sis,

Tami

[Kelsy]

Hobby no - Lifestyle no - Just an outward expression of the real me!! I don't know how many times my wife has said, because of my behavior , "you're such a woman!"

Kelsy

[dresser1974]

This is a lifestyle for me and to call it a hobby makes it sound like you chose to crossdress and not crossdressing chose you

[Charlena]

Dressing makes me feel like the person that I really am inside. I have always had to supress my comments, opinions, while dressed as a male but while dressed as a lady I feel like thats the person who was meant to be. My Hobbies are model railroading with my grandaughter and golf. One day I think I may play golf dressed, hitting from the womens tees might actually help my game.

[Bev06 GG]

[QUOTE=tamarav;1399549][B][I][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=purple]I am guilty of calling it both a hobby and a lifestyle depending on my audience. I have also called it a complusion, addiction, obssession and any number of other things. Heck, I have even told people that I dress that way because it is my work "uniform". In fact, it is impossible to come up with a single term that explains it for everyone. We could all beat this to death forever

Hi Tamarav
Now this is what you call meeting people where they are and reaching out the hand of understanding. Very wise and very considerate. It does very much depend on your audience as to how you approach enlightenment or education and I would hazard a guess tamarav that you meet all sorts of people from different walks of life and have adjusted your approach accordingly. Good communication skills can make all the difference to how people will perceive you and if you want a modicom of understanding then its a good idea to take the time to think about who it is your going to be talking to and use the language or jargon that they are best familiar with.
Take care
Bev

[Amy Hepker]

Lifestyle for me, and getting more so everyday.

[lazytara]

To me crossdressing is just a hobby. Its not like I really want to be a girl. I think that just being able to put on the illusion and looking like a real girl is really all that I aim for. I think everyone has a different level when it comes to thinking about whether cding is a hobby or lifestyle. Cding is a lot of fun, and at least for me, its not a lifestyle.

[stevie b]

My So, has trouble with this. I try to explain that its a part of me, not a hobby, but it's who I am. Then she reads others call it a hobby, I think can could accept it being a hobby, like golf more than a genda issue.
Still working through this.
Love
xx

[victoriamwilliams1]

A hobby can be stopped and a lifestyle is pre/post transition. For me it is part of me and has not consumed me.

[VtVicky]

Webster's New World dictionary defines hobby as; "something that one likes to do or study in one's spare time; favorite pastime or avocation."

Yup, that's me. I have zero sense of femininity, suppressed or not. I just like the look and feel of female clothes...especially, but not exclusively, on me. I've been enjoying this hobby for decades. In fact, this hobby has lasted longer, and served me better, than any other hobby I have ever had.

I know there are a lot of people on this forum for whom CDing is a reflection, or expression, of gender issues. But, I am not one of them. And, over time, I have noticed that I am not alone here. It is possible to "play" with CDing, without making it a lifestyle. To do it without anger, pain, or regret. And to still live as the male I was born as, also without anger, pain, or regret.

I think here is room on this forum for all of us without making the "hobbyist" out to be a second class citizen.

In fact, the hobbyist may bring a different perspective to our discussions precisely because of a certain level of detachment not available to some of the others.

Let's all have fun, learn from our differences, and revel in our similarities.

[Kraemer]

Does it make you feel good when you are doing it or planning it or shopping for it? Well if your answer is yes than it doesn't matter if it's a hobby or lifestyle. We all enjoy it thats why we do it. Saying this is a hobbie doesn't cheapen anything. I respect anyone with the guts to let others into this world. I don't, I'm a total closet dresser, thats my cross to bare. CDing can be a fethish, there is nothing wrong with that. We of all people should be open minded in these matters.


Neither. We didn't choose it, we were born that way? Just try stopping..

Exactely....it is only a hobbie for me, one that started when I was 8 or 9 and continues to this day (I'm 40).


Webster's New World dictionary defines hobby as; "something that one likes to do or study in one's spare time; favorite pastime or avocation."

Yup, that's me. I have zero sense of femininity, suppressed or not. I just like the look and feel of female clothes...especially, but not exclusively, on me. I've been enjoying this hobby for decades. In fact, this hobby has lasted longer, and served me better, than any other hobby I have ever had.

I know there are a lot of people on this forum for whom CDing is a reflection, or expression, of gender issues. But, I am not one of them. And, over time, I have noticed that I am not alone here. It is possible to "play" with CDing, without making it a lifestyle. To do it without anger, pain, or regret. And to still live as the male I was born as, also without anger, pain, or regret.

I think here is room on this forum for all of us without making the "hobbyist" out to be a second class citizen.

In fact, the hobbyist may bring a different perspective to our discussions precisely because of a certain level of detachment not available to some of the others.

Let's all have fun, learn from our differences, and revel in our similarities.

Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, you have just sumed up my life in one quick post.

[dresser1974]

It is who we are not what we are we don't have a choice this is as normal as it gets. most of us have tried going stickly male and it doesn't work we are kidding ourselves by not letting the girl out

[CD Susan]

Not a hobby...Not a lifestyle

Just a part of of who i am

Nothing more...Nothing less

My feelings exactly!!!!!