Whats the thing about actually WANTING to go out?

[MarinaTwelve200]

Yes, It does seem that most of us CDers appear to have an urge to go out dressed, whether they actually do it or not. To me it has some rather interesting psychological implications. First of all, I am one of the minority who does NOT want to, or feel the need to go out dressed. From MY personal POV, I see no "need for it", and I deem it a dangerous, risky and possibly "stupid" thing to do,--(no offence intended)

I chalk the differences in feeling in this matter up to the fact that there ARE several different "root types" or reasons for CDing that entail different goals and objectives and address different internal psychological issues.

I for example, am an "escapist" CD, who CDs to get AWAY from (escape) my normal male identity. Others may be "Fetishist" or "S/M" CDs, but most who post here appear to be what I call "Classic" CDs, that appear to conform to somewhat of a pattern.

Most Classic CDs seem to think of their fem self as either their "real" self or at least a real part of themselves that needs expressing. Not only do they dress as females, but they also act like women and have an urge for GOING OUT in public. Going out dressed seems to be a major element involved in the Classic type. Of course not all Classics go out, usually due to a lack of courage, or for more practical reasons, like not being able to "pass", but the desire is still there.--We call those CDs that want to go out, but can't "Closeted"

But what's the deal? Why do some Cds go out dressed? Is it an "in your face!" thing, like an urge to snub "proper society"? Is it a kind of "exhibitionist" thing? Sorta like "showing off" but with makeup and clothing rather than nudity? Does one get a "charge" out of it?---either from taking the risk and getting away with it or a psychological reward for successfuly "passing" and fooling people? Whatever the reasons are, from my POV, from the 'outside' looking "in", it seems to be a MAJOR aspect of Classic CDing.

Most of us Escapists and Fetishists are perfectly happy staying indoors and to ourselves (and are not 'Closeted" in that respect). I DO fear though that there may be a kind of 'social pressure" put on us by the Classics to try going out. I personally resist this, as the desire is not really there (not that I dont have the looks for it ;) )
Other Escapists and non-classical CD types need to know that a "need" to go out is only characteristic of a certian type of CD, and may not apply to us personally.---So we should not feel like "freaks' or that we are "missing out " on something because we do not go out.----It only means that what is gotten from going out is something we have no need for to begin with.----And is not worth the worry and risk to us.

Yet, as I Do have a great interest in the Psychology of CDing, I AM interested in WHY the CDs that DO, do go out dressed. There is no criticisim here, only honest curiosity.---Perhaps there is something I missed, or am I barking up the wrong tree entirely?

[valenstein]

To see my friends, make new ones, and be around other people that think I'm just fine as I am.

[Joy Carter]

I enJOY being a girl. And going out just makes the experience, just that more real for me. I'd love to get out more. But finding someone like me is a rarity. At least within driving distance.

[Butterfly Bill]

Feeling the breezes around your legs or the sunshine on your shoulders; you don't get that inside.

Having ventilation all up and down your body when the weather is hot.

Walking long distances while your legs are caressed by pantyhose.

Not being afraid when people see you.

Having people smile at you.

[Holly]

I go out and interact with other people because that is what social people do. I have no quarrel with anyone who chooses to practice their CDing privately as it is certainly their right and priviledge to do so. It makes me a little sad, however when I see members of my own community refer to a group within itself as "stupid" or having a "lack of courage." Comments such as these do nothing to help build self-esteem :sad:. Most of us only know one another through our words and as such, we should choose them wisely.

[TxKimberly]

Well, obviosuly I cant speak for all but I can tell you about me.
I'm honestly not sure what the appropriate label for me is, and at this late point in the game I'm not terribly interested devoting much effort to finding out.
What I can tell you is that from very early on, 5 to 7 years old, I dreamed of being a girl. When I would see the girls at school I wanted so much to be one of them.
Well, these days, I'm old enough and brave enough to make the decision that I don't really give a care what others think if they figure out I'm a male. Now I get to enter the world and see what it is like "as a girl". Yes, I understand this is only a superficial aspect of being a woman (the looks only), but I'll take what I can get.

[NatalieBliss]

It's all about the experience. To be more exact, experiencing the world through the filter of the feminine.

[harmony]

having the acceptance of my fem side validated by society at large was a large step in finding harmony in my life.

[Deidra Cowen]

Its just fun as heck! Thats why I like going out! As for the in your face remark...honestly most Tgirls and CDs I know just go out to the safe gay bars where they really are not in the publics face. I think a lot of girls just enjoy being fem and interacting with other people. I for example luv being fem...I really get into the femmy mannerisms and being a silly girl chatting and having fun out at a club.

I do the shopping thing too ...I think thats more of a daredevil thrill type of fun...plus I hate shopping in boy mode...but feel more secure in girl mode. Less chance anyone would ever reconize me since i shop near where i live.

[docrobbysherry]

I go out and interact with other people because that is what social people do.

As "fetishist, escapist CD", I'll will also admit to being a bit anti-social.

Maybe that is why we, ( Marina and I, anyway), don't have the desire to go out dressed? I don't go out socializing often anyway. ( I probably spend too much time with my computer and with/as Sherry!)

Maybe if we were more social, we would naturally want to socialize with other CDs? What do u think, Marina?

[shannonsilk]

I guess for me there are several reasons for going out. I think there is a little bit of a "buzz' From it. I have been enjoying wandering around while wearing a skirtand 2" heels.
Plus, from a practical standppoint, a 3 hr outing reduces the need to dress at home for several days. Instead of being (can I say it?) closeted at home, I have been able to get out and get some errands done and other activities which can't be accomplished in the house.

I doubt that made any sense, but I tried.

[Jocelyn Renee]

I think the vast majority of us who go out are closer to the TS end of the gender spectrum. For us it is not about making a statement or the secret thrill of getting away with something; it's just simply who we are. I do enjoy getting dressed up and hitting the clubs for some dancing from time to time, but the majority of my female time is spent in casual feminine attire with minimal makeup going about my daily life. I am generally more at peace with myself as a female, whether I'm shopping, running errands, doing dishes, cooking, or simply sitting at home watching a movie.

[sterling12]

I guess the main reason for going out is because it gives me the chance to be out and interact with others who are like me. IMHO, being in The Closet is lonely!

I grew up long before The Computer Era. 99% of all CD's lived in isolation, a lot of us thought we were alone and strange. Going out and socializing is a kind of validation for me. It just feels right, it just feels great, to be with my Sista's!

You all have the right to go out or not. But, I suspect that virtually every gurl who can take the risk and do it, finds that it is a wonderful experience. I've never heard of anyone who had that experience, claim that they wanted to go back into The Closet.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[bobbie_1048]

Its just fun as heck! Thats why I like going out! As for the in your face remark...honestly most Tgirls and CDs I know just go out to the safe gay bars where they really are not in the publics face. I think a lot of girls just enjoy being fem and interacting with other people. I for example luv being fem...I really get into the femmy mannerisms and being a silly girl chatting and having fun out at a club.

I do the shopping thing too ...I think thats more of a daredevil thrill type of fun...plus I hate shopping in boy mode...but feel more secure in girl mode. Less chance anyone would ever reconize me since i shop near where i live.


I think the vast majority of us who go out are closer to the TS end of the gender spectrum. For us it is not about making a statement or the secret thrill of getting away with something; it's just simply who we are. I do enjoy getting dressed up and hitting the clubs for some dancing from time to time, but the majority of my female time is spent in casual feminine attire with minimal makeup going about my daily life. I am generally more at peace with myself as a female, whether I'm shopping, running errands, doing dishes, cooking, or simply sitting at home watching a movie.
To those of us who prefer to stay at home god bless you, if you're happy that's what counts. For those of us that go clubbing, god bless you too. With the exception of going out to bars and clubs I feel pretty much the same as Deidra and Jocelyn. It's great being a girl !!!!!!!!!!!! :bighug:,bobbie

[Michelle_in_tights]

I've never felt the urge to go out dressed apart from wearing tights or leotards under my normal clothes. I purely wear clothes for sexual pleasure nothing else. Never worn makeup or jewelly even as a bloke. I guess my love of clothes is at the fetish end of crossdressing. But each to his own.

[susan fuller]

I love to go out because it makes me feel preetty andthat I am more of a woman when I am seen byothers. I have walked around a few times during the day but I don't talk topeople yet because my voice would give me away. I am not a real pretty womanbut a passable one en femmne. Have just stared to wear some makeup and have not got it all down completey yet. I hope to better soon.

[LilSissyStevie]

Beats me! I have no desire to leave the farm for any reason. It's bad enough that I still have a year+ before I can retire from my day job. I'll probably never be seen again after that. :) I even do most of my shopping online. The shipping charges are usually cheaper than the fuel costs for me anyway. Aside from the family, I have plenty of other company here with all the animals. The animals don't care what I wear as long as I bring food. They're also more interesting than most people. That makes me one of those hobbyist/fetishist/escapist types. There is also a little more to it than that, so I guess everyone can't be pigeonholed quite so easily. But one thing is for sure - I'm *me* no matter what I'm wearing.

[renee k]

I think the vast majority of us who go out are closer to the TS end of the gender spectrum. For us it is not about making a statement or the secret thrill of getting away with something; it's just simply who we are. I do enjoy getting dressed up and hitting the clubs for some dancing from time to time, but the majority of my female time is spent in casual feminine attire with minimal makeup going about my daily life. I am generally more at peace with myself as a female, whether I'm shopping, running errands, doing dishes, cooking, or simply sitting at home watching a movie.

I agree with Joceln Renee and Holly. It's the social part interacting with others and presenting myself as who Iam.

Huggs, Renee

[Joanne f]

A difficult question to answer, the only thing i can say is that i would like other people to see me in the clothes that i like to wear and feel happy in , it`s almost like saying , you have the freedom to wear what you like so i want that same freedom to wear what i like without any hassle , so why can`t the a**holes of this world see it the same way and just leave us alone.





joanne

[Sally24]

I see no "need for it", and I deem it a dangerous, risky and possibly "stupid" thing to do,--(no offence intended)
But what's the deal? Why do some Cds go out dressed? Is it an "in your face!" thing?

Not at all. I am an activist sometimes, but with the general public I try to be friendly, not confrontative. When I go out in the daytime, I usually go to main stream places and act like an average lady. I go anywhere I like and have been treated very well. In this aspect it is a validation or feedback on my inner feelings. A normal woman would not stay home feeling trapped. She'd go out and do her business like shopping, eating, and see others like anybody would. That's all I'm doing when I go out. Not trying to convert anybody or make a statement other than, "I am convertable with myself and I respect your space, respect mine". It is at these times, especially when I'm out with female relatives, that I feel the most natural. It's one of my biggest joys to go out to a nice restaurant and have the waitstaff come up to the table and say "How are you Ladies doing today!"

Now going out to clubs at night as a T girl is a whole different thing. I am out to have a good time, look fabulous, and maybe educate a few people along the way. I've had some incredibly interesting conversations with innocent bystanders who just happened by and were intrigued enough to ask some questions. They are usually amazed that we still have our p**** , are married, and are happy. Not their typical image of a transgendered woman out at night (think prostitute).


Now I get to enter the world and see what it is like "as a girl". Yes, I understand this is only a superficial aspect of being a woman (the looks only), but I'll take what I can get.

I'm there with you Kim! Life is too short and we all go "Why did I wait so long to start this!"


most Tgirls and CDs I know just go out to the safe gay bars where they really are not in the publics face.
That's true for very many of them. Alot have never seen the light of day in a skirt. I encourage the girls that only go out to clubs to try the day time once and awhile. It's a whole different level and not for everyone.

[Ruth]

I like to go out en femme whenever I get the chance; however, I don't exactly know why. I even asked the question on this forum a while back.
I like to be an 'invisible CDer' when I go out: that is, I attempt to pass so everyone assumes I am a woman. I wouldn't say I exactly get a kick from this, but it's fulfilling some kind of need. Being acknowledged as female feeds that buried feminine side of my personality, I suppose.
There is the aspect of the danger of it I supose, but I have a feeling this is largely imaginary. I stopped worrying about people 'reading' me and reacting badly after my first time out. For me, it just doesn't happen: maybe I'm lucky or perhaps I'm just too pretty! (Not.)
Anyway, it's part of the whole CD experience for me. I couldn't just be a CDer behind closed doors.
I'm out to my wife and she sees me dressed several times a week, but the difference there is that she knows exactly what's underneath the dress.

[MarinaTwelve200]

As "fetishist, escapist CD", I'll will also admit to being a bit anti-social.

Maybe that is why we, ( Marina and I, anyway), don't have the desire to go out dressed? I don't go out socializing often anyway. ( I probably spend too much time with my computer and with/as Sherry!)

Maybe if we were more social, we would naturally want to socialize with other CDs? What do u think, Marina?

Well, it was sorta my point---many of us dont have the psychological NEED to go out.--Im not too "social" either, so I really dont need the interaction nor crave it.

My main idea of this thread was to remind folks that not ALL of us have a need to go out, and thats OK for ME and other types of CDers, despite the different feelings of most of the others that post here.

I also wish to apologise for the terms "stupid" and "lack or courage"----I was only using those terms to express the situation from the viewpoint of one who has no need to go out. it would be stupid on MY part to take what I see as a risk, for the sake of no reward,

Indeed, my own POV is not a good standpoint for understanding the actions of others. THAT is why I am asking the question,so that those IN the know can tell me for themselves.

[trannie T]

Marina suggested that going out was possibly a stupid thing to do, maybe that's why I enjoy it so much.

We are each unique. We dress in dirrerent manners, for different reasons. If someone is happy hidden in the closet that is fine, just ass some of us are not happy unless we can get out. We are a diverse group, in panties, in bras and in behavior one size does not fit all.

[Rachel Morley]

This is a great question and an interesting thread. I never even used to go outside up until about 5 years ago, but once I did, oh my gosh! ... there was no going back. I absolutely love being out in public dressed en femme.

A lot of what Sally24 said matches how I feel about it.

When I go out in the daytime, I usually go to main stream places and act like an average lady. I go anywhere I like and have been treated very well. Me too. Partly it's a validation thing for me. Knowing that it's ok to do this (present as a woman in public places) and that when you get treated well and just as if you were a genetic woman (even if they read you) it makes me feel very happy, contented and emotional fulfilled.


It's one of my biggest joys to go out to a nice restaurant and have the waitstaff come up to the table and say "How are you Ladies doing today!"
Absolutely! It's a fantastic feeling, and for me it's even better if it's a mixed group of CDs and GGs as it is when my wife Marla and I go out with other CDing couples that we are friends with. I also feel just as good when I go shopping with Marla and her sister and I'm dressed en femme.


Now going out to clubs at night as a T girl is a whole different thing. Yes, it's a different type of enjoyment. For me, it's all about having fun and wearing clothes that you can't really wear in mainstream daylight times and places. In LGBT bars and clubs pretty much anything goes, and by that I mean it doesn't seem to matter how old you are, how well you do or don't pass or what you are wearing. Everyone is so cool, accepting and friendly .... at least that's my experience of going to LGBT venues on a Saturday night. Also for me, it's catching up on all those missed times in the past. All my life (from teen years up) I so wanted not to be hanging with the guys, but to be out with a group of girls, wearing a cute dress and high heels, and to go dancing and have fun! :)

Then there are rare times when you get to experience something really special, like today. Marla and I are going to be bridesmaids at a TG wedding. Today Marla and I and the bride, our friend Crisa, went to a formal ball gown and bridal rental store. I got to be fussed over, pampered, and dressed in dozens of bridesmaids dresses. We even did a mini rehearsal with shoes, tiaras and flowers for the bride to see "how it will be" on the day. This was a regular store and the owner and her two daughters were totally ok with everything and called us "ladies" all morning. That kind of experience is "one in a million" to me and IMHO can only happen if you are comfortable or able to go out in public en femme. :)

[Fab Karen]

Don't you just hate those heterosexuals, women, black people, people who speak a different language, etc.etc. putting it "in your face" ?

It's called self-esteem. Being who you are.

[Jilmac]

Marina, from your description of escapist, that is what I consider myself. I started dressing seriously (meaning no more experimentation) after my second sister, whom I was very close to, was involved in a freak accident and died. Dressing in her clothes was my way to handle my grief and to feel her spirit. It was my escape from the reality of her death. I have been dressing to relieve stress ever since.

I was a closet CDer for 47 years because in two marriages where wives knew about my dressing, neither one approved. My wife passed away last year and now I go out because I can. I still think I am in your escapist catagory, but now I can enjoy the company of other dressers (and non dressers) whether it's in my own home, somebody else's home, or in a public place. For me it's not a matter of pulling off a masquerade (passing) as much as it is just blending in.

That's my POV and my :rant:

[paulaN]

I have never tried to analyze why I like to go out. I know that I wanted to go out for a very long time before I actualy went out. I also know that I have always had a great time when I have gone out. The very best time that I ever had was my trip to Boston to meet up with the Sisters of Boston. That was the one and only time that I went out with someone else. People just like me. Well how about that. I had a fantastic time. So I guess I am saying that it does not matter to me why. What matters is that I am having a good time out and about. I feel the same way about fishing too. I don't know what makes fishing so much fun for me either but it is. It's just me.

[Nicki B]

If we accept that that there is something called gender dysphoria - a discomfort with being your birth gender, then surely it makes sense that part of that dysphoria is a discomfort with the way others perceive and treat you (as an FTM), as masculine (obviously vice versa for the boys)?

Being seen as, and treated as, female, by other people gives validation and redresses the balance so that you can accept that feminine side of yourself?


It always puzzles me that those who say their dressing is solely 'escapist' behaviour choose (do they actually 'chose', or does it just 'happen'?) to do so as a woman - that seems to indicate there are deeper needs being addressed, as well? Otherwise why not just dress as a cowboy, engine driver, etc? :strugglin



I know some people would argue there is actually no such thing as GD, just Body dismorphia and a reaction to societal conditioning - but that just doesn't 'feel' right, to me?

[Melissa A.]

Marina, you said your "classic" cd's consider their female side to be a real part of them. I think that answers the question. Doesnt everyone like to be percieved as who they are, even if it's only some of the time? I'm a ts, and I go out because I have to. It's REALLY who I am, lol. But the cd's you speak of, feel no less real, in my opinion, when they are dressed. I think for them, the question isn't, "why go out?", but "How can they not?" (or at least, how can they not want to)

Of course there are other reasons, as well, fun, excitement, meeting like minded people, Just getting out of the darn house. But I do, and have always understood that there are those who choose not to, and don't want to. That's perfectly ok, and I'm glad you're all here as well. The spectrum is huge. It's nice that you and those like you can make friends in a place like this.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[MarinaTwelve200]

It always puzzles me that those who say their dressing is solely 'escapist' behaviour choose (do they actually 'chose', or does it just 'happen'?) to do so as a woman - that seems to indicate there are deeper needs being addressed, as well? Otherwise why not just dress as a cowboy, engine driver, etc? :strugglin

I know some people would argue there is actually no such thing as GD, just Body dismorphia and a reaction to societal conditioning - but that just doesn't 'feel' right, to me?

There are two aspects to Escapisim CD----First to get away from one's "true self"(sorta the inverse of the fem sider CDs who do it to GO TO their "real self") escapisim is about getting away, thking a "vacation", if only a few hours, from the normal ME and becomming someone else---where the worries, concerns and responsibilities of "the real me" simply dorp away.---what better way to "become" another person, than one of the opposite sex? Perhaps the vicarious nature of the identity change, requires a "stronger punch" so to speak, to be effective--hence the change in gender.

BUT the gender change also frovides an escape from MANHOOD,and the stresses and responcibilities associated with THAT too--hence the second aspect of escapisim.

Having done some actng, I can see how taking on another MALE persona would have a similar escapist effect---I think many actors do that., but changing gender ALSO releases the Male aspects of omr's psyche, and is even MORE relaxing.

I dont know if this gender thing represents a 'deeper need"---but it WORKS and it is FUN. There is also an erotic edge.

I dont know if it is something I HAVE to do, but rather is something I DISCOVERED and is so relaxing, and de-stressing its the best way I KNOW of to get those benifits. I do it because I WANT to, rather than a "compustion" as such.

[Farrah]

Well, I fell like, if we put so much money and time, the world needs to see. Going out is kinda like a reward, for lack of a better term.

[Sarah Doepner]

At first I dressed and didn't have an desire to go out. However, it seemed to grow as my skills in dressing, makeup and presentation grew better. Finally I just got tired of looking at that girl in the mirror and knew she would do better out of the room. This was something that just grew on me and became important. If I was going to be successful in taking on the feminine personna I was striving for, I need to do the best job I could in how I looked. If I did the best I could, why not go out.
When I did go out, I found the social contact with others like me was great.

[tamarav]

Probably most of you on this forum remember Walter Mitty. He was a mild-mannered clerk in a firm who had wild dreams about saving weak women from the bad guys. His "adventures" made for great reading.

I am probably one of the most active "verbal and visable" CDs around, or at least I try to be. I am out virtually every day practicing what I call "life". My desire to dress and go out is merely a vaildation of my love for the feminine, nothing else. I don't go get in people's faces to prove them wrong or just to start a confrontation. I do it because I can and I am old, I have the same right as any other person to walk around looking like I want.

I have a neighbor, age 85, who walks around, shops, walks up and talks to people all the time. He is a real mental case, wears the same coveralls with one strap, has two teeth, and smells really bad. People look at him and want to get him help. Not many would actually criticize him. Maybe feel sorry for him, but relish in the fact that he has made it to such an old age.

Daily I work with women and closeted CDs who merely want to look better or want to look good enough in their own eyes to go out and interact with society. My goal is to give others the feeling of self respect, not to cut them down for their degree of acceptance.

Therefore my shaded answer is that we all do what we feel comfortable with and/or walk a pretty tight line to find acceptance within ourself. There are shades or degrees in every walk of life, why should ours be any different

There are plenty of closeted cowboys/cowgirls out there, people that wish they were firefighters, etc., etc. Do we question why they do it and to what degree?

Your sis,

Tami

[MarinaTwelve200]

[B][I][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=#800080]There are plenty of closeted cowboys/cowgirls out there, people that wish they were firefighters, etc., etc. Do we question why they do it and to what degree?

Your sis,

Tami

There is a difference between "questioning" why someone does something (implying dissaproval or criticisim) vs expressing an honest curiosity, in an effort to understand, which is my motive here with the question. As I come from a different set of "needs", I have a POV where my "guessing" and assumptions about the goals and motives of of others, might be a bit biased or slanted.----This is why I ask others to give me their side of things rather than just making assumptions that may not be entirely correct.

[Katheryn]

Yes, It does seem that most of us CDers appear to have an urge to go out dressed, whether they actually do it or not.

I think that it was a natural progression on my part, being comfortable dressed at home among friends and family, to wanting to go out somewhere as Kate, being a girl in public.


I chalk the differences in feeling in this matter up to the fact that there ARE several different "root types" or reasons for CDing that entail different goals and objectives and address different internal psychological issues.

Perhaps psychological needs is a bit more apt than psychological issues, but that's a semantic difference.


I for example, am an "escapist" CD, who CDs to get AWAY from (escape) my normal male identity.

Well, one of the nice things about being Kate is she has no worries, really. No job issues, bills, etc. The boy, on the other hand, does. But then again, it's just not like visiting Disneyland, Kate is a real person in my head who wants out to express her reality and affirm her existance.



Most Classic CDs seem to think of their fem self as either their "real" self or at least a real part of themselves that needs expressing. Not only do they dress as females, but they also act like women and have an urge for GOING OUT in public. Going out dressed seems to be a major element involved in the Classic type. Of course not all Classics go out, usually due to a lack of courage, or for more practical reasons, like not being able to "pass", but the desire is still there.--We call those CDs that want to go out, but can't "Closeted"


First off, who is "we"? Second, someone who dresses at home because they can't pass is merely being smart and avoiding the hassles of idiots either making rude comments or becoming physically violent. Smart, as you said earlier. Truly closeted CD's have no one "in the know". They are hiding from everyone. Someone who is out to friends and/or family, but just dresses at home because they look more like a linebacker than a runway model isn't necessarily closeted.


But what's the deal? Why do some Cds go out dressed? Is it an "in your face!" thing, like an urge to snub "proper society"? Is it a kind of "exhibitionist" thing? Sorta like "showing off" but with makeup and clothing rather than nudity? Does one get a "charge" out of it?---either from taking the risk and getting away with it or a psychological reward for successfuly "passing" and fooling people? Whatever the reasons are, from my POV, from the 'outside' looking "in", it seems to be a MAJOR aspect of Classic CDing.


Since Kate is a very real part of me, being out and about makes her feel even more real, rather than just a role I play for a little while at home. I have been told by friends who know both her and I that when dressed I carry myself differently, speak differently and my whole demeanor changes. This is in no way a concious effort on my part, it's natural once the clothes and makeup go on.


Most of us Escapists and Fetishists are perfectly happy staying indoors and to ourselves (and are not 'Closeted" in that respect). I DO fear though that there may be a kind of 'social pressure" put on us by the Classics to try going out.


I don't pressure anyone to do anything. I haven't seen any indication of peer pressure on here to imply to anyone that life is better out.


I personally resist this, as the desire is not really there (not that I dont have the looks for it ;) )
Other Escapists and non-classical CD types need to know that a "need" to go out is only characteristic of a certian type of CD, and may not apply to us personally.---So we should not feel like "freaks' or that we are "missing out " on something because we do not go out.----It only means that what is gotten from going out is something we have no need for to begin with.----And is not worth the worry and risk to us.


There are as many reasons for CD'ing as there are CD's, and the many comfort levels that go along with them also. Why someone needs to CD leads directly into what level of transi-ness they are.

As I stated before in another post, I have seen too many instances of TS's knock CD's as if they were lesser people. I certainly don't knock anyone's level of comfort or transie-need. Whatever levels make someone happy, they should go for it, because there is far too much unhappiness and downright misery in the world.

Kate

[krisla]

Marina, to each her own! Like others above I just love blending in with the ggs when I can, if anything I want to be not noticed just another girl. I have some closeted freinds as well and would hope I respect their expression of being fem as they respect mine.

Kris

[Sara Jessica]

Sorry if this ruffles a few feathers but the last thing we all need is more labels. While the underlying question is truly interesting and relevant, some of the terms used are just alternative ways to describe the dots on the tg continuum which in this case fosters more "us versus them" in the community.

We all have made our decisions, whether consciously or otherwise, as to how we are going to deal with this tg thing, ie - whether to disclose to friends/family, going out in public, posting pictures, even how we go about acquiring those things which allow us to express femininity. I rarely hear anyone applying pressure to take steps one isn't comfortable with. Advice, sure. If someone asks about going out and about, the replies range from cautionary tales to "just do it" and everything in between.

So if going out isn't for someone, I'm the last girl to care. To each her own. However, I do hope that when one makes such a decision, they venture out with respect not only for the women they emulate but also for what their visability means to our community at large.

[Katheryn]

Sorry if this ruffles a few feathers but the last thing we all need is more labels. While the underlying question is truly interesting and relevant, some of the terms used are just alternative ways to describe the dots on the tg continuum which in this case fosters more "us versus them" in the community.

I so agree, Sara. Labels are limits and more often than not used to disparage. I have found a lot of us vs them and the sad thing is that it weakens the us vs morons.

Kate

[Jonianne]

.......Other Escapists and non-classical CD types need to know that a "need" to go out is only characteristic of a certian type of CD, and may not apply to us personally.---So we should not feel like "freaks' or that we are "missing out " on something because we do not go out.......

For me, going out also dates back to my early childhood. My earliest daydream / fantasy I can remember, is wishing I could just walk through the woods as a girl and then return to being a boy when I wanted to. If you have never desired to, then you should not feel pressured to go out, if you don't want to.

There are certain aspects of crossdressing I have no aspiration for, even though many threads are written about taking CD to those levels. I do not feel slighted because I have no desire to do that. We all are a part of this forum because CD is important in our life, but we are not all at the same place nor do we need to be.

I think it is great that there is so much diversity here and no one is cut from the same cookie cutter.

I only go out on a limited basis and when I do, I am pretty much fulfiling my dream I had as a child. I tend to go to the parks wearing the cloths I feel comfortable in, at times when there are fewer people around. I am not much of a club person. Usually a loner in real life (except here on the forum - my social butterfly has emerged from its cocoon).

I believe that people, if left alone, will tend to migrate in the direction of where their needs will be met. So, I wouldn't worry if you have no desire to go out and don't let anyone pressure you or think that you are less of a CD'er if you don't.

[Ashley in Virginia]

About a year ago,I posted a thread along these lines,

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=71719

As I have progressed, I am becoming more needy.....Like.... I want more from all of this. Marina, you are much more experienced with all of this than I am, (nice way of saying u r old :p ),and you seem to know where you fall in this niche. I am totally confused and scared. Where does this lead next... I am already wandering outside to take out the trash dressed. Whats next? Drives at night, clubs, or even, OMG dealing with people.

I dont know what I am trying to say.... I am just trying to open up myself to it and seeing what happens with it. Who knows, maybe you will too eventually?

[Mitzi]

I dress because it's a sensual, erotic experience, which I guess places me in the "fetishist" camp. It's always been thus, I've never wanted to be female, in fact if I were to dress 24/7, the thrill of dressing would simply disappear, and wouldn't be any more exciting than being in drab.

Ever since I first started dressing, I've wanted to go out, just to hear my heels clicking on the pavement, feeling the soft wind caressing me swathed in deliciously femme attire. Had no desire to have anyone see me.

But as dressing in public became more permissive, I started wanting to be seen by others, just because it was taking the thrill a step further. It's not sensual being out and about dressed anymore, but still a turnon to be seen en femme. That said, it still bothers me whenever I realize I've been read. But the thrill still overshadows any embarrassment.

I have no clue as to the psychology underlying all this, but that's the way it is with me.

Mitzi

[LisaSae]

I've not gone out while dressed, but I do want to. For me its a validation thing. Thinking that I'd be able to go out and just kind of blend in and pass are my reasons for wanting to leave home.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I go out because I want to show us in a positive light as opposed to what they show on television, Also for me being tall as a guy people always ask my height and a lady out and about I have only been asked once and the next one was do I play for the WNBA. I am seeing more of us out now and last week at the gas station I walked by a very casually dressed lady who is about 2 inches shorter than me and for the most part people including myself did what we had to do.

Going out is not for everyone and for me I have a think skin on people opinions and going out the first time I did not notice my name being called now I do after about 8 years of being out.