Would you defend a crossdresser

[Jessicainme]

I was wondering if you would defend a cross dresser or not. Let's say that you were out with a group of friends and they spotted a man all dressed up and they started to make fun of him. Would you go along with them or defend that persons right to dress. Even if it meant that they would make fun of you. I was at the mall with my wife and she said see that woman, that's a guy..all I could say was (Well she looks happy). And pretty nice:) She knew him from work.
I hope that I would have the courage to stand up for what is right. Has anyone been in that situation before?

Jessica

[Nicole Erin]

Not really. I mean I have heard my dad point out CDs before [not loudly] but he seems to have some weird fascination with us [except me, god forbid HIS son is CD.]

Honestly, I think if it were my non CD friends, I would probably say something to embarras the laugher. If said friend were to give the CD a hard time to where she could hear it, I would say "If you get your ass kicked by a man in a dress, I ain't doin sh*t, I will let you get your ass whooped."

[Sandra Dunn]

Can't say I've been in that particular situation. I would go up and visit with that person if at all possible, meaning I wasn't across the mall and going the opposite direction. By the time I turned and started that direction they would have turned and or left as it happen once. Since I do stand up for same sex marriage publicly I would stand up for her and would stand next to her.
HUGS Sandra

[Alice B]

Completely to the defense. It can be done in a way to not put anyone down and not revel yourself.

[Jamie S.]

I have, several times at work. We've had a CD or two come in and get criticized, I'm always the person that defends them.

[PamelaTX]

Absolutely I would defend her. The urge to be protective is one of my masculine traits that I'm very proud of.

[Empress Lainie]

I absolutely have done so. I first lectured to a group of young boys. Later I lectured to a group of 17-20 yr olds. I won't put up with anyone making fun of CD's or TS's.

It is usually thru sheer ignorance of both conditions of life.

[Siobhan Marie]

I would defend a CD to the death and if meant outing myself then so be it xx :hugs:

[deja true]

I have done so with a few words to my friends. Didn't have to out myself, but did opine that all of us are god's children and there was no reason to feel threatened. That made the sarcasm melt and the comments stopped.

[Deedee Dupree]

Yes, without a doubt about it.

[Cristi]

I'm almost 100% sure that none of my friends would PUT me in that situation. I've had conversations with them about TG and CD stuff (it has just come up in conversation a few times when talking about people we've known or used to work with, etc). I think they are all tolerant 'live and let live' people.

But... if I WAS ever out and in that situation, I would like to think that I would do the right thing. At the very least, just say something like 'come on, leave her alone...' and not let their 'fun' continue.

[Joy Carter]

Years ago, I never stood up when my friends poked fun at anyone. But now I'd stand up for anyone. No matter who they were. It's just not right to act that way.

[Carroll]

Honestly, I think if it were my non CD friends, I would probably say something to embarras the laugher. If said friend were to give the CD a hard time to where she could hear it, I would say "If you get your ass kicked by a man in a dress, I ain't doin sh*t, I will let you get your ass whooped."

I love that.
I have defended a CD or two before and will still do it

[paulaN]

I have never had to. I hope that I would if I needed to.

[Zenith]

Yes or anyone being treated unfairly. I've done so in the past despite never having dressed myself before. I don't like that sort of behavior, and I would consider different friends...

:thinking:

[TxKimberly]

I have done so in subtle ways when I was with my manager eating lunch at a Mexican restaurant where a TG waits the tables. He made a few derogatory comments quietly where only I could hear him. I responded with something along the lines of "Hey, what ever makes them happy." or "They aren't hurting anyone". Doesn't take a lot of courage when done in a subtle way.
Had he been louder or say something directly to the TG to hurt her feelings I would have become "un-subtle" in a hurry.
One of the hardest things for me to handle is feeling ashamed of myself. I like to think that I am a decent person that will usually do "the right thing" these days, but I have done things in my life I'm ashamed of. It makes me feel awful and lasts forever, so I don't wish to add anything new to the "I'm ashamed of that" list. Letting someone mistreat another TG, or anyone for that matter, where I had the ability to intervene would be a huge new thing to add to that already too large list, and I just couldn't tolerate it.

[paula jessica rains]

yes i would because i feel that it is a right we all have......................jessica rains

[AmandaM]

I work it sideways, like saying, "Shhh, someone will call the cops on us", or, "It must suck to go through life like that". Usually, they shut up right away.

[Jodi]

I have done so in the past and will continue to do so. It can be done well without puting yourself in jeopardy. A while back I was sitting with some friends at sidewalk cafe when a poorly dressed cd walked by. The derogatory remarks started. I stated that it is the person's right to do as they wish and that they weren't hurting anyone. I also stated to my friends that there are many people walking around that look what they consider as normal that they would really have to fear. That put a stop to it.

Jodi

[Caitlintgsd]

I've never experienced that with the exception of my brother-in-law. But he changed his opinion of alternative life-style people after he found out that his son was gay. I don't really have a whole bunch of friends outside of the lgbt community and they're pretty open minded.

[Melissa A.]

Two guys at work were childishly talking about transexuals, relating the horror they would go thru if they discovered they had taken a ts home, laughing hysterically, the whole bit. I said, "A transexual who's had the surgery could easily be detected by a doctor, but I gurantee you, you would never know the difference." One of them said, incredulously, "REALLY?" I calmly said, "Absolutely".

They both suddenly looked rather worried:eek:

It's a no-brainer. I'd defend any trans person in a heartbeat.

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[DAVIDA]

In my situation, the people that I would be with already know that I am a CD and would not make those coments. I don't think that they would do so if I were not around.
That being said, in the event that I were privey to such comments, I would definately and without hesitation, take on the task of defender of the gender!

[SweetCaroline]

Short answer, you bet I would any day, but as always, it depends on the situation.

The OP seemed to be addressing the situation of seeing a stranger in public who was being harassed as CD, while YOU were in male mode.

It's never happened to me, but judging from my personality, I would be not one to make a scene, with loud yelling, or speeches directed at others, but rather to, turn around, and confront the transgendered person in one way or another. Gentley and politely, to let them know I understand. That I'm like that too.

I might make a new friend that way. It's better than making another enemy, and the trolls pretty much pass by and go away anyways.

Again, just me. :)

[bah-bah-bobbie]

The TS subject has come up with me at different times with different groups. Depending on the situation and my mood I have said one or a combonation of the following;

That was a guy wearing that dress? Well he certainly has the legs for it.

everyone needs a hobby.

Don't knock it till you try it.

Sad part is I think he's prettier than your wife.

You're just jealous 'cause he' prettier than you.

I have to respect that guy. He's my dad.

It does not affect the gas mileage of my car. It does not threaten my job security. It does not affect the interest rate of my bank account or my mortgage. It does not hinder my kids education. It does not hinder my education. I don't care who is wearing what.

[Karen C]

yes and I recently had taken my son to pridefest in wilkesbarre Pa and he didnt seme to notice the drag queens and guys and girls holding hands it was a good morning . he liked the music that was playing club stuff . he also helped me pick out a pride smilieface flag . that was grate . wont tell the exwife though .:)

[bobbie_1048]

I have never had to. I hope that I would if I needed to.

I would hope that I do the right thing. I've never been in that particular situation before, but having put up with that kind of nonsense most of my life about other things I did raise my kids to be be respectful of others even if they did not know them.

[Nicki B]

If you wouldn't - would you want anybody to defend YOU? :strugglin

[NatalieBliss]

While I'll admit it is entirely possible that people I consider friends would whisper jokes in our group of friends I doubt they would let the person over hear. If any of them walked up and was rude to the CD they probably wouldn't be my friend anymore. This is not limited to transgender issues for me, but anything. I would point out that they are doing something that makes them happy/compelled to do. So, yes, I would defend them.

Now I ask you. Do my friends have the right to think CDing is silly and make a remark? I think they do. I have a friend who is very religious. I consider myself "spiritual" and, to me, religion can be rather silly. It would be hypocritical of me to denounce my freinds for thinking CDing is silly when I hold something that makes them happy/they are compelled to do as silly.

[Tiffy]

Yes I would and have. I didn't for a long time. But I am tired of it myself and feels others must be to so I open my mouth.

Tiffany

[Veronica 1]

Most certainly I would, even if it came to outing myself to do so. The narrow minded bigotry of some people really pi**es me off and I am known to express my honest opinions.

[Farrah]

I have defended a crossdresser. I've been in that situation before. I told the people I was with, It probably took a lot of guts for her to come out today. They thought I was just joking, b/c I used to be the clown of the group. However, I was very serious. I was also thinking, I wish I had enough guts to come out like that.

[DanaR]

Completely to the defense. It can be done in a way to not put anyone down and not revel yourself.

This is what I'd do as well.

[Fab Karen]

I don't have friends who'd do such a thing, & all know about me.
Without question I'd defend the person. The closest I've come is once in boy-mode seeing a CD get on a bus ( I was toward the back, she was up front ) & I watched & listened, getting ready to speak up if anyone said something. No-one did. After she got off, one guy made mention of being aware of a sports person who used to be a man, without any negative words or tone in his voice ( & there wasn't a negative reaction to that ).

[KewTnCurvy GG]

As much as I can even be shocked or dismayed at someone's dress--be they cd or just someone dressed oddly (and no I'm not saying that all cd's or what have you dress oddly)--but I would absolutely defend them. I believe all people have a right to be as they want to be, it does not hurt anyone.

Kew's 2

[Stormgirl]

You're god damned right I'd back up a fellow CD'er despite my reputation. I might come off as a cold hearted person but you know I'd support and back up a fellow CD'er.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

I would and have MANY times in the past ten years... and will continue to do so.

[tamarav]

The question to yourself should be expanded to "..would you defend a woman or a minority" . If you are one of those that accept negative statements from "friends" about others why let it stop with CDs?

Everyone has the right to their own personality, heaven knows that there are plenty of people that will criticize everyone else because of their own insecurities.

So the answer is, yes, I will and have defended CDs, TGs, women, disabled people, and minorites all my life.

If you "hang out" with people that make those types of remarks, I question your true acceptance of who you are. If the people that make those remarks are merely work associates or whatever, then that is the time to establish where you stand on such issues. Don't let bullies take over and bully you.

Sorry, got on my soap box again..

Tami

[Tal'Aura]

I was wondering if you would defend a cross dresser or not. Let's say that you were out with a group of friends and they spotted a man all dressed up and they started to make fun of him. Would you go along with them or defend that persons right to dress.

Of course I will defend that CD. If my so-called "friends" turn against me then, I'll say them goodbye. I don't need primitive friends with prejudices.

[audrey-lynn]

You better beleive I would. And I hope if I'm ever in that situation that some some kind soul would do the same for me.

[TxKimberly]

. . . "Sad part is I think he's prettier than your wife." . . .

OK, now THAT was TOO funny!


. . . The question to yourself should be expanded to "..would you defend a woman or a minority" . . .

Tamara, that's the second post of yours in a week that's made me wanna give you a hug. Let's face it, if we as cross dressers are not the most open minded people and most accepting of others who are different, then something is seriously wrong with us.

[Raychel]

Absolutely I would. I have been ridiculed almost all my lofe. And can't stand when anyone else is put in that position.

[Carissa B.]

If you think about it, this is a great moment to educate people that your around you. Yes, In a confortable way explain what the public needs to know about respecting the Transgendered or CDers lifestyle. In order to educate the public we need them to Understand the sitution, it is a good opportunity to improve our social exceptance and make changes in a small way!

We have the POWER to make a difference !
Carissa

[Deborah Jane]

I did last year after a mouthy newsagent had a go about a c/der who,d been his shop at the same time as me. [I was wearing my work clothes at the time, not an obvious c/der myself]
I,d do it again too, even if it meant getting my hands "dirty"!!!

[christid66]

I would hope that I do the right thing. I've never been in that particular situation before, but having put up with that kind of nonsense most of my life about other things I did raise my kids to be be respectful of others even if they did not know them.

Absolutely !!!:clap:

[valenstein]

I would always defend a person being physically attacked, but there was a time when I wasn't sure in my head if I would defend someone against comments or an off-hand remark by someone in a private situation, but I know now that I would.

Still, part of the reason there are so many of us in the closet is that we don't stick up for ourselves as a group publicly.

[Bev06 GG]

Good question Jessica and I guess alot easier for me to stand up and say yes I definitely would do. Infact I'd probably go over and talk to her too. Most of my friends know that I used to do a dressing service for CDs and that I have many CD friends. They dont however, know about my partner but I doubt theyd be surprised at anything that they found out about me.
I have actually stood my ground at work when people have been having a go at CDs and mocking them because any kind of discrimination doesn't sit easy with me and being quite an outspoken person anyway I always have my say.
I guess for a CD it would be fairly difficult because she wouldn't want to give anything away and might feel a tad uncomfortable with it. But for me the only thing they could possibly suspect is that Jay Dresses and to be honest I'm past caring what anyone else thinks any way. Life is way too short as it is.
Take care
Bev

[Babette]

The question to yourself should be expanded to "..would you defend a woman or a minority" . If you are one of those that accept negative statements from "friends" about others why let it stop with CDs?

Everyone has the right to their own personality, heaven knows that there are plenty of people that will criticize everyone else because of their own insecurities.

So the answer is, yes, I will and have defended CDs, TGs, women, disabled people, and minorites all my life.

If you "hang out" with people that make those types of remarks, I question your true acceptance of who you are. If the people that make those remarks are merely work associates or whatever, then that is the time to establish where you stand on such issues. Don't let bullies take over and bully you.

Sorry, got on my soap box again..

Kudos to you Tamarav! I've said before and I will say it again. Bigotry in any form is a black mark on all humanity. I have seen people cautiously laugh at derogatory comments about others. If they are doing so just to "fit in" without causing a stir, then shame on them. If you cannot rise to the defense of difference, then at least invalidate bad behavior with signs of contempt rather than approval.

Joining Tamarav on her soapbox.


Babette

[Bev06 GG]

Kudos to you Tamarav! I've said before and I will say it again. Bigotry in any form is a black mark on all humanity. I have seen people cautiously laugh at derogatory comments about others. If they are doing so just to "fit in" without causing a stir, then shame on them. If you cannot rise to the defense of difference, then at least invalidate bad behavior with signs of contempt rather than approval.

Joining Tamarav on her soapbox.


Babette

Yes I have to admit Babette, the one thing that really gets to me is people who sit on the fence. I would rather they totally disagree with me because in my eyes its pure cowardice.
Bev

[CD Susan]

I most definately would! I have defended cd's in general during disscussions with co-workers on this subject. When doing this I was not been put down myself or asked if I was a cd. This ridicule of cd's is a result of the ignorance of most of the population and this is so sad.

[vivianann]

I would defend a fellow CDer, and already have, I say to the criticiser, they are not harming anybody, and I am sure you have skeletons in your closet you would not want anybody to know. Last winter I stood up to a bully at the store who wanted to kick my ass for wearing a dress, I stood nose to nose with the jerk and said bring it on. he backed down in a hurry and ran away. I was wearing a dress and 3 inch heels when I stood him down. I detest bullies and I will kick ass if I see some jerk physically hurting a tg or anybody else.

[michelle_2771]

I will defend anyone that is in strife doesnt matter wether they are straight or gay or wether they trans gender or whatever...

We are all entitled to live our own lives in the way we all want..

I am not worried about wether someone thinks i am the same as the person who has been victomised

I understand people who do not accept the way others live lives but we all have a right to live the way we want to even if it goes against the grain of nature..

[stevie b]

Yes I would defend them as I would hope I would be defended. I have had to do it, but believe it can be done without outing myself.
xx

[LisaSae]

I know I would defend a CD/TS person amongst my friends. I have a fairly accepting group of people I hang out with and although I don't think anyone would say anything if they did see someone who is CD/TS, if they did, I know I'd interject and explain to my friend that they're not really hurting anybody and odds are they're born like this so its not something they consciously chose. I'd just want to make it clear that its not something they should really make fun of someone for.

[Rashell StClaire]

I have done so in subtle ways when I was with my manager eating lunch at a Mexican restaurant where a TG waits the tables. He made a few derogatory comments quietly where only I could hear him. I responded with something along the lines of "Hey, what ever makes them happy." or "They aren't hurting anyone". Doesn't take a lot of courage when done in a subtle way.
Had he been louder or say something directly to the TG to hurt her feelings I would have become "un-subtle" in a hurry.
One of the hardest things for me to handle is feeling ashamed of myself. I like to think that I am a decent person that will usually do "the right thing" these days, but I have done things in my life I'm ashamed of. It makes me feel awful and lasts forever, so I don't wish to add anything new to the "I'm ashamed of that" list. Letting someone mistreat another TG, or anyone for that matter, where I had the ability to intervene would be a huge new thing to add to that already too large list, and I just couldn't tolerate it.

I would defend them in a heartbeat. My things I am ashamed of list has enough things on it thankyou. Besides some of my friends homophobia(best way to describe their thinking, I know it's not accurate) drives me nuts.

[DAVIDA]

I would defend a fellow CDer, and already have, I say to the criticiser, they are not harming anybody, and I am sure you have skeletons in your closet you would not want anybody to know. Last winter I stood up to a bully at the store who wanted to kick my ass for wearing a dress, I stood nose to nose with the jerk and said bring it on. he backed down in a hurry and ran away. I was wearing a dress and 3 inch heels when I stood him down. I detest bullies and I will kick ass if I see some jerk physically hurting a tg or anybody else.

:yt::wyla::kickbutt:

[victoriamwilliams1]

I would defuse the situation because it could be me they are talking about.