In Need of Help

[Proud2Be918]

ive been researching alot about effective ways to crossdress but none suit me mostly due to my finacial status and age or low self asteam. I was wondering if any of u could provide some advice or tips for me keeping in mind my problems i mentioned above. this is really starting 2 bring me down especially when i went out to the shopping center (not crossdressed) and spyed these great pants i deperatly wanted them but lacked the money or confidence to get them:sad:
For years ive wanted the clothes from my school the skirts and dresses r soooo nice but i still am faced with the problems above. if you have any tips for some1 like me in this situation please tell me i am open to all opinions and advice

thankz in advance
Haley

[imogen]

goto 2nd shops and likes .

[emmicd]

Haley,

I guess the first thing you need to do is focus on building up your self confidence and improving your financial situation. If you are a college student then it it is pretty understandable why you lack money. You must always focus on your schooling so you can aspire to better.

As far as your desire for girls clothes it is important that you work with a budget because clothes are expensive.

If you like those pants then work on saving for them. Make it a simple goal of your many goals!

Setting goals is very important!

Do you think Michael Phelps could win 8 gold medals if he didn't set goals for himself?

Always keep that in mind!

I wish you all the best and let us know how you are doing!

emmi
xoxo

[Katherine Bell]

First of all there is no reason you shouldn't feel free to buy anything anywhere. Money is the great equalizer. Most stores do not care for whom you are purchasing your clothes for they just want your money. Most people would assume you are buying it for your wife/mother other female relative. NonCD men buy women’s clothes all the time. I've had plenty if not all my past boyfriends buy me clothes (not nighties, actual clothes).
You need to get over your fear and just do it. Go to goodwill or a garage sales, they have great finds anyone can afford. The real problem is that you think people care and pay so much attention to what you are doing. Most people are too wrapped up in their own world to care about what you do.
By the way low self esteem does not get corrected by an online message board. If you feel bad about yourself change the things you don’t like about yourself and accept the things you can't change. It really is that easy. The best way to feel better about you is to do something for someone else. The moment you stop thinking about yourself and see what it really means to have it bad you feel better. I recommend you do some volunteering.

[Mollyanne]

Hi Haley, first off Welcome to "the sisterhood", secondly I really understand the money situation but I don't understand as to why you are in the "low self esteem" part. Actually you are worthy of anything you may want to do, just set the goal and proceed to accomplish it!!!!


:love: Mollyanne

[Jonianne]

Hi Haley, Welcome to the forum!

When I was 18 I had a lot of self esteem issues as well. It is great that you have joined the site. I wish I had something like this thirty some years ago!

As mentioned you can try second hand stores or order off the internet from places like sears or pennys and you can pick them up packaged at the local store.

Like most of us, you probably do start out feeling embarrassed to pick things out yourself at first. I'm sure I was red as a beet when I started. I remember one of the first times I picked a pair of shoes and took them to the checkout and I remember the sales lady calling me sweetie. That was so nice of her and made me feel good.

Haley, you have your whole lifetime ahead of you so don't worry if you don't "arrive" right off the bat. Take your time, just enjoy life as you are. In time you will be doing wonderful things that you never imagined you could.

Like my favorite radio psychologist always says "Know who you are and know what you want!". Hold to that and in time you will get there.

Also like Katherine said, do some volunteer work - thats how I found my wife!

Take care and enjoy life.

Joni

[shannonsilk]

Hello Haley,
Thrift shops, as has been said, are a good place for those with little money. There are some guy things that look sort of girly so you dont have to shop in the women's section.
As has also been said, you may need time t get more comfortable buying women's clothes. Almost everyone here hs a story similar to yours regarding shopping.

[janexx]

Haley,

Building confidence is not easy - go too far too quickly and you will terify yourself and then have furthrer to go.

Remember it is fun and feels so wonderful.

Try going out in blue jeans with some cheap but prity panties and, maybee, a pair of hold ups with some penny loafers. If your not sure about the holdups showing below the jeans then get black opaque hold ups, they lookjust like fine socks. Hold ups feel so much sexier than popsocks and there is no chance of suspenders showing.

Alternativly opaque tights with no knickers are cheap and feel just BLISS!

Good luck and dont be put off - eventualy you will feel the benifit and "all at home" fully dressed. It does not have to happen tomorrow.

Love and good luck,

Jane

[docrobbysherry]

Before u buy at 2nd hand stores, u need to know your sizes in female clothes. Otherwise, you'll have to try them on first. ( I have never done that in my 10 years of CDing!)

I use a tiny tape measure to check the waist, chest, and shoulders of dresses, etc. before I buy them. In your case, for pants, check hips, too. I don't buy women's pants. And never worry about hip measurements in dresses, etc. They always fit me if I leave off my hip/butt pads!

Or, buy very stretchy outfits. I'm 5'10", and can almost always squeese into "Small" things that r lycra/spandex!

[bah-bah-bobbie]

Stop and think carefullly for a minuite. Even if you had the money to buy the pants would you have? Is it really self esteem, because it's easier to just lable a feeling as low self esteem than put any effort to figuring out what it really is, or do you just feel awkward buying womens clothes. Everyone has already pointed out thrift stores but I don't recall any mention of clearence sales at regular stores. As for the esteem or awkwardness, it's already been pointed out that a lot of guys buy their SO's clothing for them sometimes, but also realize that we are rapidly approaching halloween. That's when I buy most of my stuff. First, it's halloween, you're supposed to cut loose and have fun with it. Second, the clearence sales on last seasons clothes are spectacular. One last view on the esteem issue. Personally, I'm a borderline white trash hells angels reject lowlife with nothing to offer to society or anyone else. Therefore I have nothing too lose. Think about that.

[TSchapes]

"The Lazy Crossdresser" by Charles Anders. He talks about doing the minimum and just feeling great about yourself. I think it's a great book.

Love, Tracy

[tricia_uktv]

Keep thinking about it. You will build up an inner steel (that actually you probably don't need) but it will be with you when you are out dressed. I would also say go out to tranny friendly places and try to meet up with other t-girls. A problem shared is a problem halved. But then it isn't and shouldn't be, a problem. Good luck xx.

[Edyta_C]

I started shopping in stores with my SO. Gradually I noticed that 99% of the people don't notice you or pay much if any attention to you. So go for it in drab to start.

Getting you measurements is a critical thing. Even then many brands don't follow the same sizing. Yesterday I was shoe shopping at Shoe Festival (going out of business sale 70% reduce from normally low price). No one paid any attention to a guy trying on ladies shoes. But in some brands I was a 9, some a 10, and some styles an 11. So for clothes the hint about the tape measure is a great one. Measure your chest allow for the projection of breasts. Cut this in half and use the tape in the store to find that measurement. It works! There are some stores like Fashion Barn which let me try on stuff in the dressing rooms. So Go for IT Girl!!

Hugs Edyta

[susan fuller]

Building your confidence takes time. But finding some clothes does not have to be expensive. I have found a lot of real nice outfits, dresses, skirts, blouses and even shoes and stockings at garage and estate sales. Some of the items still had the price tags on them from the stores. They had never been worn. The stockings I have found had never been opened. You just need to know your size and most people don't care if you are male or female they just want to get rid of the clothing. You can bargin and even get them cheaper than what they are asking in most cases. I have even found new bras and panties that have not been used. You can get some real bargins on real exspensive shoes, high heels and sandels. As you get used to bargining with the people your confidence will grow till you are able to go to a store and shop.

[PaulaPts]

Katherine is so, so right!

[charlie]

Most anything you want or need you can find at the Goodwill. The stuff there has been cleaned and lots of it is close to new. The kicker is that it is cheap and nobody there could care less if a man is going through the women's lingerie, dress or nighty section. Go put together some great outfits, wear them out to a gay bar, get come compliments and feel good about yourself!

[CD Susan]

By all means check out the second hand stores. You will be surprised how cheap some things can be bought. Also garage sales are great places to find bargains. I stopped at a garage sale in a parking lot last Sat. I asked about the price of an item and was told that everything was $.25. Every article of clothing on the racks and every item on the tables was only a quarter! I walked out of there with a ton of things for very little money. The clothes are out there and are cheap if you look around. I hope you also can improve on the low self esteem issue. Just accept who you are and have fun with it. Please keep us posted on your progress.

[Proud2Be918]

YAY im day by day growing more confident in going out and buying those pants but till then i found a saturn nightgown with a lace trimmings its simplely bliss :P