Aaarrgh!

[sarah8553]

Help!

I am 24 and living with my parents... They do not know and I do not know what to do? Is telling them best? Is keeping it secret best? It's driving me mad, because I have been CDing for 16 years already!

I almost WANT them to find out these days... It would save me the hassle!

PLEASE somebody, give me some advice on this one...

I'm relying on you girls here...

Hugs n kisses,

Sarah. x

[Annabel Girlie]

Don't do it honey - just bide your time. Only you'll know what they might think, but in my experience, very few non-dressers get the idea. Could be a moment of madness that you think is perfectly logical progress after 16 years of underground dressing - for them it's a smack in the face at 70mph - from nothing to total shock.

I'd keep quiet and hang on until you are out there on your own

Love

Annabel

[sarah8553]

Thanks! And can you talk on messenger, since you live in UK?

[Wendy me]

sarah if you have been cding from 8 years old unless your real good at hidding it .....your mom has got to know something is up... i thought i was hiding it from my mom ... she knew.....just look to see if she is hinting ... your stash ever been moved ???? it was not the tooth fariey...........

[sarah8553]

No it hasn't, I have a photographic memory, so everything is replaced exactly if I pinched clothes as well! No reason to be suspicious!

[MonaSmith]

Hi Sarah,

I have told my Mum, my Sister, and a lot of my friends and colleagues at work, about my crossdressing and I haven't had one negative reaction yet. The key to doing it, in my experience, is to pick your time carefully and to try not to freak them out too much by laying it all out on them straight away. I have felt so much better since telling the people around me, it has made my life a lot easier and a lot more fun.

having said all that, I was very careful to tell the people that I knew wouldn't react badly, at first, and then started to tackle the harder ones later, when I had some friends onside for support.

You will have to judge if the risk is worth it. None of us have met your family or friends and so anything we tell you can only be based on our own situations and experiences. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck.

Mona xx.

[sarah8553]

Thank you, that's VERY helpful...

If you ever want to talk, my details are in my profile.

Again, you are UK-based, that's great!

Hugs n kisses,

Sarah. x

[MonaSmith]

Hiya,

If it helps at all, here is a link to the thread I started just after I told my Mum.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4225&page=1&pp=25

I hope this all helps

Mona xx.

[Andrea]

Sarah, think either picking your time is best or staying quiet about it all.

I'm still not sure if my mother knows or not. It would not surprise me if she did but she has said nothing. It could be your mum is like this too. Some mums and dads, and I suspect yours too are wonderful at keeping quiet and loving people just as they are.

If you do tell them they may just say that the're gad you finally told them they've lnown for years. Your mum and dad obviously love you, look after them.

Take care
Andrea

[SilkenPrincess]

They do not know and I do not know what to do? ... It's driving me mad, because I have been CDing for 16 years already!



Sarah, I sense that you already have your answer, but you're just not real comfortable with it. The fact that it's "driving you mad" tells me that you don't want to hide any longer




I almost WANT them to find out these days... It would save me the hassle!



I suspect you could delete the word "almost". I'm not qualified to give you the answers you seek, but it looks like you already have them. Your inner conflict derives from the need to be yourself openly, which apparently you are withholding from yourself at the moment. Granted, just sitting them down and spilling your guts would be a shock to them, but relationships don't work without honesty. Maybe you could find a few ways to "hint" at it first, before telling all, to soften the blow a bit. But I think what you want is to be open with them AND be accepted. Nothing wrong with that at all, in fact, that's to be commended. Is it easy? Of course not! Is it worth it? For some, yes. For others, it doesn't make any difference. Ask yourself these two questions. Do you love them? Do they love you?
What you make of your relationships is what you get out of them, and at the end of your life, all that will matter is the relationships you have developed. But, remember that when you reach the end of your life there's no more time to be put into your relationships. Live now in the light of your dying day, and at the end you will feel contented and full.
Love,
SilkenPrincess

[sarah8553]

Wow!

Glad I started this thread. Thanks for the advice!

Starting to think when rather than if...

Can I talk online with you?

Hugs n kisses,

Sarah. x

[Ashley Allison]

I'm 26,and I live with parents as well. They know about it, and they aren't very accepting. When I was younger, I was caught dressed numerous times, and their response was less than enthusiastic. :( So, now I try not to be too overt about it. It doesn't keep me from shaving all my body hair and plucking my eyebrows thin though. :D

However, perhaps your parents might react differently. You really have to gauge the situation. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best of luck. :)

[KarenXDR]

Sarah:

Hope you have 8,553 pounds in the bank - you may be looking for an apartment (Flat, pad, whatever) in the morning. So what if they don't know.

Patience - you have plenty of time. Just make sure any potential wife knows - and LIKES! if you think you're unhappy now, listen to the closeted on here.

Keep in touch!!! And enjoy what you can for now.

Lipstick kisses

Karen

[Ashley Allison]

Patience - you have plenty of time. Just make sure any potential wife knows - and LIKES! if you think you're unhappy now, listen to the closeted on here.


How soon exactly are we supposed to tell potential love interests about this little extra-curricular activity we engage in?

[DonnaT]

Sarah, you're the only one here that may have some idea as to how your parents will react. Based on that knowledge, if you think one or both are non-judgemental and that they can normally sit and talk with you over any subject, then tell them.

When you do, make sure you have the answers to the usual questions that are normally first asked. Such as "Are you gay?" "Do you want a sex change?"

If you need to prepare for telling them, a good bit of useful information can be found at http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd/menu.htm

Good luck.

[Ibuki_Warpetal]

If it were me, I would try to find their opinions on the matter beforehand, without divulging any personal info.

Granted you are practically an adult, and your lifestyle should be accepted by your own family, but even with society's slow acceptance of transgendered people there are others that believe that going against what is considered normal is flat out wrong. Maybe your parents are the type that agree with this, maybe they are not.

The best thing to do would be to show how much you care for them in whatever way you know how.

[Sophie]

If it helps, here is how i was found out by my parents! there are some other interesting posts on this thread too.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8496

It all depends on your relationship with your parents though. Might help to give the water a good toe dipping first!

Hope all goes well

Sophie

[Imogen_Mann]

Thats a lie, they found me out! (only about a million times)

Only you can call the shots on the question of telling ypur parents. You know thier background and thier attitudes, but then again, only you know how badly this is eating you away inside.

Personally if I was in your situation,I'd go for goth as a way of making a fashion statement then just gradually turn up the fem side of it and check thier response. Sadly I am hypothesising (?) and again, I think only you can truly judge the right time.

In the words of Spencer Johnson "What would you do if you wernt afraid ?"

Jayme. :D

[azure]

though your inner self may be shouting very loudly to be released, I urge you to take a step back, and look at the more mundane but very important things in your life, such as work, friends, the future, your security, your mental health, and happiness. Make sure that youve got these things or at least are able to have them near, before you make radical changes. Because going it alone,requires a will which is bombproof, and incredible focus and reslieince.(be there, done that, learnt the hardest way,and dont want it to happen to anyone else!)

[sarah8553]

Thanks for all your help girls... I'll keep watching, as this is being looked at by a lot of people :)

Thanks for all your help...

Hugs n kisses,

Sarah. x

[Andrea]

Thanks for all your help girls... I'll keep watching, as this is being looked at by a lot of people :)

Thanks for all your help...

Hugs n kisses,

Sarah. x

Your welcome, Sarah. The girls here are always ready to help with advice. :)

[Maddie Knight]

Be very careful in telling anybody your secret.
I know my dad would freek out, but my mum probably would not care or choose to ignore it.
Niether of them know.
But I have told some of my friends and now some are not my friends.
Being truthful is very dangerous, be prepared for the worst.
Sorry for being so honest but I speek from experiance.

[flicka]

To Ashley Allison - and all other crossdressers - who are not yet committed to a GG; You tell your lady friend of your "hobby" upon the realisation that you are forming a possible meaningful attachment to this person.

If she accepts it, understanding that it is part of the character and personality of the man she admires; Wonderful!

If the contrary, then it is better to reappraise the situation, bearing in mind the domestic disharmony that awaits the clandestine crossdresser in marriage. The pages of this Forum are saturated with such stories of lies, deception and misery, self-inflicted by those who lacked basic common sense.