Worst type of abuse

[Steph Butterfield]

I think receiving abuse is bad at the best of times, but getting it from other transpeople somehow makes it worse.

[Nicki B]

Perhaps you'd explain, Steph?

[GypsyKaren]

What's going on Steph?

GK :star:

[Steph Butterfield]

I've become a target of hate by a small but significant group of transwomen who are members of other forums.

It stems from the fact I tell it as it is, not for me the rose tinted garden they paint transition to be but the transition nightmare.

Getting abuse from ignorant neanderthals is one thing, but to get it from transitioning girls is seems much worse as they should know better.

I need to say nothing has been said here.

[GypsyKaren]

Say no more, I know of what you speak. I get slammed plenty, including here, because I have the audacity to do things differently than the masses, even though I never preach or push my views on others. I've never quite been able to figure out why people figure that their way must be the only way, but they do and the only thing I've found to counteract it is to tell them to f-off...may not work, but it is rather satisfying.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Alan]

I'd like to point out at this point that we transmen get a LOT of this from some of the girls. Not hijacking, so I stop.

That said, I'm really sorry to hear that you're suffering something similar. It's never nice to be treated badly, and especially by people you would think know better. :hugs:

[Sharon]

There are, unfortunately, jerks everywhere and cliques that thrive on excluding and ridiculing those they deem different for whatever silly reason they can think of. That is why I have long since stopped checking in on other TS or TG forums -- they just all seem to abound in them. However, I have never personally met another TS who wasn't willing and happy to befriend, help and advise me in any way they could.

[jill s]

I wonder if they feel any "bad press" will set back Trans rights or is an attack on their personnel choices in life? Not saying that's right but any group that feels threatened can have some strong and sometimes misguided reactions.
I find very little information on the turmoil that being gender misaligned can being to life, and it is doing a number on me lately , so you keep telling the whole story. We can't get anywhere if we all gloss over the truth.

[Melissa A.]

I don't visit too many other trans forums. But Jeez, who's doing this, and why? I don't mean the verbal abuse, there are idiots in every walk of life. But why would anyone who goes through this try to make it seem like someting it's not? We all know it's hard, expensive, painful, scary, emotionally draining, a burden to your family and friends, and time-consuming. Sure, interspaced in there are moments of joy, bonding with others, and immense self satisfaction. But no one who knows even a little about being a ts would say it's easy. I guess I'm just wondering what would motivate anyone to gloss it over like that.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[Niya W]

I've become a target of hate by a small but significant group of transwomen who are members of other forums.

It stems from the fact I tell it as it is, not for me the rose tinted garden they paint transition to be but the transition nightmare.

Getting abuse from ignorant neanderthals is one thing, but to get it from transitioning girls is seems much worse as they should know better.

I need to say nothing has been said here.

Quite simple, those people are not living in reality. THe fact that they re trying to say transitioning is easy and that any one objects to that is wrong, is proof that they are living in a fantasy world Any attempt to bring them back to planet earth it a threat to them . They will defend their right to live in this fantasy world to death. Thing is you can ignore the real world , but the real world will not ignore you.

In any group there will always be a few nuts. My advise is to ignore them. They are in another world

[Kimberley]

Ahhh. Good to be back after a vacation; of sorts....

Anyway, I do go to other forums and yes I have been slammed on occasion for my opinions (including this forum) but honestly, I usually just ignore the insults because people like this really have blinders on. There is no arguing with them (and that is exactly what they want).

I believe that there are more of us who are like minded than not and as such we find a lot more support than detractors in our own community. Still, it cuts to the bone when we are the victims of ignorance within our own community. My sympathies Steph. Just hang in there. There are plenty of good people like Karen and Sharon both here and elsewhere and they really arent hard to find.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[Nicki B]

I don't visit too many other trans forums. But Jeez, who's doing this, and why?

Why? Because some people feel so insecure and cling to the way they transition as THE WAY IT MUST BE DONE.

If it's done another way, then that potentially means their way wasn't the best, so they feel invalidated and undermined.. So they rubbish the other people, doing it differently. Just look at all the arguments between the patients of different surgeons? For most people, transition is very traumatic, no matter if it eventually brings them peace?

It's just insecurity - but it does seem extremely common?

[Sara Violet]

We all are given a different hand to play, Every thing from why, when, where, jobs, money...etc. They all play a role in how we transition. While society has certain hoops we must jump through to reach our goal, we all know there is no one size fits all transition.

I'm sure some ts's had it easy. I know some one personally who came out when she was 13 and her parents had money and worked for a major fortune 500 company that paid for every thing but srs. When she turned 18 her parents paid for her srs for a x-mas gift. :eek:

It almost sounds like a fairy tale. Still, some people have had an easier time than others. We all have our experiences, and that is why we are here, to share, not to preach. To love, not to hate, and in the end, maybe find and support we all came here for.:hugs:

Besides most of us have a brain, if any one ever told me it was going to be easy I would have known they were full of crap.

[Bev06 GG]

Getting abuse from ignorant neanderthals is one thing, but to get it from transitioning girls is seems much worse as they should know better.

I need to say nothing has been said here.

Hi Steph,
I may be speaking out of turn here and please dont be offended. But I have noticed that some (I stress only some) Transexual women can be a tad fractious and almost behave like pre menstrual women. I have in the past felt that I have had to tread on egg shells whilst in their company because they seem so agitated and hostile toward me. I dont however, take it personally because I often wonder how I would be if I were in the same position as they are. Being post op cannot be a very comfortable place to be, and even ladies who have had surgery must feel out of sorts for quite some time.
Joking apart I have my off days once a month and sometimes think awful thoughts. I have learnt that these are not the times to speak my mind especially if someone is winding me up. I have in the past jumped down someones throat and deeply regretted it later because I then have to go and apologise at a later date with a rather red face.
Dont let it get you down honey I am sure it says more about them than it does about you.
Love
Bev

[Cristi]

There are some people who think that they are 'accepting', but in reality they think that THEY have it all figured out... so as long as you agree with them, you are brilliant. If you disagree, then you suddenly go from one of 'us' to one of 'them'. :(

TRUE acceptance comes from people who realize that different people have different needs and motivations. What works for you may not work for them. What is true for you may be far far from the truth for them.

I've had friends (nothing to do with CDing) of the first type. As long as I agreed with everything the said, they were the best friend in the world. As soon as I started to question their positions or beliefs, I was dropped like a rock.

Oh well... That was better than if I had wasted another year before I'd caught on to their game.

Hang in there... as long as you GIVE people the same respect and consideration you want for yourself, you will win out in the end.

[GypsyKaren]

Hi Steph,
I may be speaking out of turn here and please dont be offended. But I have noticed that some (I stress only some) Transexual women can be a tad fractious and almost behave like pre menstrual women. I have in the past felt that I have had to tread on egg shells whilst in their company because they seem so agitated and hostile toward me. I dont however, take it personally because I often wonder how I would be if I were in the same position as they are. Being post op cannot be a very comfortable place to be, and even ladies who have had surgery must feel out of sorts for quite some time.

Bev

You're quite right Bev, I've seen that too, mostly from assorted whoevers that have a problem with how I do things. What the hell are they going to tell me? They know nothing, I tell them to loosen their belts a notch or two because they're so full of themselves that they might burst.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Jena11]

Well, the way I try to deal with everyone in my life and work life is that I try to stay positive and if they do not have positive things to say I will just ignore them. I understand that we all have different values & thoughts, and opinions. This is the USA and we all have the right to express them. I just ask that everyone try to think of others and not be hurtful to them. If we all do that the world will be a better place. JC:love: