About to come out to my GF

[tracylace]

Hi, I feel like I need to come out to her. I'm not exactly sure how to explain it to her as I don't want to be a girl, I think I'm just both (androginy?). I mean 90% of the time I enjoy being myself and some other times I do want to be seen as a girl and express that part of me... Funny thing is since teenage years I do feel like I usually have different opinion and way of thinking than my guy's friend...more like thinking like a girl (more passive. etc..).

Anyway, I'm just looking for some forecast here, me and my GF are very intimate and we have a no-secret policy. She obviously knows I'm not macho and just a skinny 140 lbs. little guy. She once mentionned I had girly features (probably as a joke, but it does show a potential open mind), and also once, we were home and bored and she decided to do me up some makeup and put me into one of her black dress and take some pictures lol (another open mind clue?). There is no way for her to know that side of me..

I want to write her a letter and put emphasis on the potential good(shopping, clothes swapping, going out,makeup/beauty talk?, intimity) to come out of there if she's accepting and also to comfort her that nothing will change if she dont approve..that I will just stop hiding my clothes... Is it a good way to say it?... I know for sure her reaction will be "That's f*cked..."and proceed with questions about if I'm gay.

At this point I REALLY want to tell her but I'm a very careful man...eh....girl..both...:love:

[Dixie]

You should tell her, but be gentle don't just blurt it out. You might even try mentioning the time SHE dressed you and how enjoyable an experiance that was for you.:hugs:

[justmetoo]

Of course every situation is different, so you'll have to make the final determination of when and how.
I recently told my girlfriend. I wrote out a one page note and gave it to her in person so she could read it and absorb it. And then we sat and had a good talk. I would suggest being open and honest, don't overwhelm her with information, just hit the basics, and definitely don't hit her with demands or ultimatums. I wouldn't even talk much about what you want or need, in terms of dressing in the near term, dressing around her, etc., unless she brings it up. Mostly I would say give her the "news" and then listen to her and answer her questions. At this point it's not just about you. It's about her and about the two of you as well.

I do believe it's best to be open and honest. How can you have love and understanding otherwise?
Best wishes to you and please let us know how it goes. :D

[LisaElizabeth]

When you tell her, be prepared for long pauses..... then some silence.... then a lot of questions!
You have to LISTEN to her fears!!! They will be in ALL the questions she asks. After all, she is dating you for the MAN you are, not because you remind her of a good girlfriend!!
Communication, is the key, the two of you will talk, then not talk.... then talk some more about the topic, just be sure you give it time!!
Lisa E

[holly75]

My advice would be: try not to make it seem like anything negative. She clearly doesn't have a problem with you dressing up--so make it seem like something you're proud of, thats exciting. DO NOT indicate that you will hide it if she doesn't like it--after all, why bargain against yourself?

[hskrchic]

Tell her...speaking as a gf of a cd. she sounds like she would be very openminded and understanding...go slow don't push it on her. She will have questions just answer them honestly and help her understand what dressing does for you because it is different for everyone. My bf told me very soon in our relationship and the more I experienced with him the more I found myself enjoying it also. Good luck...I hope it all works out well for you!!

[Jonianne]

Sounds like you are getting a lot of good advice. When I gave my gf (wife now) the "there is something you need to know about me" speech, she of course, asked the 2 questions and then later that night she called me and told me she did not care what cloths I wore, she just loved me.

Also, later, spend time talking about her feelings about it and allow her to set her boundries she feels comfortable with, in your relationship.