work and transistioning

[kristytv]

i need to know how badly am i going to be shunned when i decided to take this step? i like making money , lol . i have had these thoughts on my mind for quite a while and i do not want to be alienated from what i know. i work in a dealership in a partsdept , kristy

[Sharon]

There's no way for us to answer this since we haven't a clue about the people you work for and with.

Having read threads about this for a couple years here, I have seen many who have encountered terrible reactions, as well as many who have been accepted at their places of employment.

I wish you all the best, and no matter what happens with your current job, I hope your future is bright. :)

[Steph Butterfield]

ok girls, i need to know how badly am i going to be shunned when i decided to take this step? i like making money , lol . i have had these thoughts on my mind for quite a while and i do not want to be alienated from what i know. i work in a dealership in a partsdept , kristy

Hi Kristy,

Here in the UK we are protected once in work as employers are legally bound to protect their employees from discrimination when they transition in the workplace.

I'm not sure about USA, though the ENDA disgrace http://www.hrc.org/10718.htm hasn't exactly helped matters. Though I think it depends on the company and the state concerned.

Hope everything works out fine for you.

Stephanie

[Priss]

ok girls, i need to know how badly am i going to be shunned when i decided to take this step? i like making money , lol . i have had these thoughts on my mind for quite a while and i do not want to be alienated from what i know. i work in a dealership in a partsdept , kristy

Like Sharon says, it's pretty much hard to say. It's a coin toss... You hear good stories and bad...

Apart from those who will just plain have a problem with it no matter what, the biggest issue is probably that everyone will know the man before the transition. A lot of people just have a hard time making the mental transition. If you plan to continue on there at the dealership, try not to get upset over the little things like getting your name wrong, misuse of pronouns etc... It's gonna happen and if you realize it up front, you can just not take it personally. It would probably take years before most would make the transition to get those things correct.

The other biggest thing will be the decision on just what bathroom you will be allowed to use. You won't want to be using the mens room, but the women who work there may not be comfortable enough right away for you to use the ladies. And of course this decision will probably be made by men... Most likely if there's a general customer bathroom or unisex, that'll be the one you'll be using till people eventually do become comfortable.

Apart from that, there will likely be some talking behind your back. Sooner or later, the subject will get old though. If your dealership is really serious about OEO types of things, then they may make it known that it is not a valid topic of discussion for the workplace. That would make this easier. I'd have to say that you're probably in for a wee bit of a shunning from the males, but they will still have to deal with you professionally. You may however make some new female friends, and some of the males may also just suprise you.

Transitioning OTJ, is never an easy thing to do. We ourselves probably make more out of it than it really is though. Chances are good that you will not be at this job forever, you'll probably find things at your next job to be a whole lot easier because everyone will only know the female you.

Best wishes to you...

[GypsyKaren]

Priss is right, don't sweat the little things because there's going to be a lot of them. The best I can tell you is expect to be completely on your own despite any promises or reassurances you get from anyone. No one's going to come out and say "we have a big problem with this so we'll go out of our way to make your time here as miserable as possible so you'll quit", so take any talk about supporting you with a box of salt...sometimes you just have to close your eyes and hope for the best.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Jena11]

Well, I wish you the best, I am 6 months into hormones and maybe 6 to 12 months to living full time. That all depends on my job, I work for a major corp in the US and they have pretty good policies about discrimantation including gender but I need to be prepared that I may have to change jobs or move to a different city. I have transfered 3 times now and would love to be able to go back to Miami or to CA but it just in not an option right now. There is an employee organaziation but it appears that the information is outdated and not much involvement from people. I am hopeing that somehow I can connect with another person at my company that has or is in process of transistion so that I could talk with them to see how it is going.

JC:love:

[tamarav]

I have been the HR Director in companies where I have seen 5 people transitioning. My thinking is that if you are a good parts person you can be a good parts person anywhere. We have numerous women in local dealerships and parts houses around here and they are generally better listeners than most of the men.

If you are dead set on staying with the same dealer, sit down with the owners and lay it out for them. If you are a long-term employee they shouldn't care how you dress, as long as you perform as you had previously. I have always held employee meetings with the employees in the department that the transitioning person will be working in and established the guidelines so that there are no misconceptions.

Would it be possible to apply elsewhere as a female and make the jump to woman-hood in one fell swoop? I did that as a hairstylist and within a week they didn't even recognize any former maleness.

Good luck with your transition, ignore the small people that can't think for themselves...

Your sis,

Tami

[kristytv]

thanks for all great advice i dont know how far off it is , but i can tell you i have been at this shop since may and EVERYONE in the area who is in a shop knows of me or does know me . i dont see myself stying long into this as the money train is slowly shrinking as our crappy economy continues to fail . it is something i have to consider , and i just want ideas and experiences before i start with these steps .