Going out

[Jocie]

Hi gals

I've been a member for only a short while and this is my first real post so bare with me. Its just that I have seen you comments of support to others here and I would just like to seek a little advice or at least a bit of guidence.

I have been dressing for ever and my girl friend / Partner has known about it since before we lived together and infact lends me her clothes on occasions. She has even suggested going out, but i wouldn't know how to. Even from the first steps to the car at the front of a well lit quiet corner of the street to where to go to next. I know it is the next step but how.

Jocie

[Jenny Beth]

Hi Jocie,

First of all you are very lucky to have a girlfriend who supports you. The fact that she has suggested you go out means she wants to help you take that next step. If this is something you really want to do you have to overcome your fears. If you are dressed so as not to attract undo attention and your makeup is reasonably passable you will have achieved all that is necessary to step out. Next, having your girlfriend with you will make this far easier than trying it alone. People will assume that since she's a girl you must be too. But most of all have a plan of what you would like to do, even if it's just for a walk. Most people tend to mind their own business and are not too aware of what is going on around them. If you look like you are going somewhere and keep moving most people won't even notice you.
When you think you are ready tell your girlfriend and put your faith in her hands, I think you will find this much easier than you imagine. Best of luck!

Jenny B

[kristi cd]

I second everything that Jenny said. In my limited experience so far having a g/f or wife who actually encourages you to dress and go out is very rare, and you should feel very, very, very lucky. I think Jenny hit the nail on the head when she said:


When you think you are ready tell your girlfriend and put your faith in her hands, I think you will find this much easier than you imagine.

Best of luck and keep us posted on your progress babe! ;)

[tammygirl61]

Ladies,
I have been dressing and going out for years now! At first I was scared to death. Just walking out the door was a knee banger! However, as I got more and more confindent I began going out dressed more and more. Pretty soon I was planing a trip to Washington DC on the plane and every fully dressed, what fun, then to Vegas, and on a cruise to the carabean all with out a stich of male clothing. I have had some ecounters not that dangerous or made me scared. If they read me no one really said anything a I did MY THING like any other single lady on Vactation. I do take some percautions. As any lady along should do! However, I've nerver had a real bad expereance dressing!
See my post on 6-22 "Dress with confindence and You'll be Fine", and see what I'm talking about! :)
Always here to talk or anything
Love yas all
Tammy :D

[Rachel_740]

Hi Jocie,

The key for me was very small steps initially. I would go to the supermarket on dark evenings (in drabs), then, on the way home I would stop in a dark layby and slip my trousers off & a skirt on, then drive round town. I was terrified I'd get spotted! (You can't see what the driver of a car is wearing down below on a dark evening, even in street lights, unless he stops for a long time and your really looking!).

From there I progressed to a short stroll through my village wearing a skirt, again in the dark evenings. As time and my confidence progressed I would just wait outside the house until a car was coming & then start walking slowly away from it, so by the time the driver saw me I was just walking slowly in the samedirection as him.

When I felt I was ready - well, I felt it was time - I decided that I would interact with someone. I let the car run low on petrol and drove about 15 miless to the city just after midnight one night. I was wearing full femme clothes (and had a wig by then). I had no drabs. I had cash. I didn't have enough petrol to get home. No choice - I had to get petrol to get home. I was terrified, but I did it - shaking like a leaf, and nothing to worry about.

If you want to read more, have a look at my thread 'out & about'. I've made a lot of progress, but still a long way to go for what I want.

I hope this is of some help to you.

[Jocie]

Thanx for the advice girls. I do realise how lucky i am, just dont want to blow it. I'll try an evening walk in the park with my girl first off. Wish me luck.

Jocie xxx

[Darby]

Precious, You are really lucky! Ask you SO for help and tell her how scared you are and then ask her to lead! Trusting her is key and knowing that she won't risk you in any way good to think of when your just opening the door and walking out! Take it slow but I will tell you, once your out the door, it gets delightful!
Trust her and let her lead!

[CdMick]

Hi Jocie,

First of all you are very lucky to have a girlfriend who supports you. The fact that she has suggested you go out means she wants to help you take that next step. If this is something you really want to do you have to overcome your fears. If you are dressed so as not to attract undo attention and your makeup is reasonably passable you will have achieved all that is necessary to step out. Next, having your girlfriend with you will make this far easier than trying it alone. People will assume that since she's a girl you must be too. But most of all have a plan of what you would like to do, even if it's just for a walk. Most people tend to mind their own business and are not too aware of what is going on around them. If you look like you are going somewhere and keep moving most people won't even notice you.
When you think you are ready tell your girlfriend and put your faith in her hands, I think you will find this much easier than you imagine. Best of luck!

Jenny B
I would definitely encourage-Me being female to male-well I do not think I would go for "girls" once I decided to completely transition however-I would consider being with a male to female-I still have not decided if I want to take that step cause when you do you can not go back-

[Stelli]

Hi gals

I've been a member for only a short while and this is my first real post so bare with me. Its just that I have seen you comments of support to others here and I would just like to seek a little advice or at least a bit of guidence.

I have been dressing for ever and my girl friend / Partner has known about it since before we lived together and infact lends me her clothes on occasions. She has even suggested going out, but i wouldn't know how to. Even from the first steps to the car at the front of a well lit quiet corner of the street to where to go to next. I know it is the next step but how.

Jocie

I think I would have advice to share. I am closet for a long time. Recently I have had opportunity to get out.

Now, I think that here you will find couple of different kinds of people, ones that have dealt with issue of comming out, ones that have dealt with issue of being read or passing, ones that takes for granted that comming out is something you do and ones that feel all sorts of fears in doing it.

Although I did tremendously enjoyed my comming out, I find nothing wrong with staying in closet or being feared there is great value in that too, except that you may also have urge to finally overcome your fears. I know that I owe a long writeup about my comming out (I promissed Jill and some other people to put it down), but I completely understand you. The key here are two things:

1. How do you feel. Do you wish to pass or not, do you care about other people seeing you and drawing their conclusions or not. And what you want to achieve. This is about you and you need to figure out answers on all sorts of questions before you do it.

2. As many say here, you are lucky to have supportive partner that encourages you to come out. I hope her wish is benevolent one (I am not paranoid but I also allow myself second toughts about someones motives - I consider it wisdom) anyhow, if she is genuinely supportive towards idea of you comming out that is force that would help you tremendeously to overcome all sorts of situations that you may fell into. (When in doubt let her speak.)

Now, I find that I really need to describe my experience but for that I would rather like to make a separate thread.