Dates

[Crossdresser lover]

Hello all, how would everyone be?

I am really curious into how any of you go about, or if you do, go on dates with males and all that jazz. And does it normally have a happy/ish ending? (And not the dirty happy, clean happy).

[KayR]

No, I don't go on dates. I'm a male heterosexual, married to a wonderful lady for more than 30 years. I dress for me, and not to attract men. :2c:

[Juliemckay]

I wouldn't know...


I'm straight and married

[LisaElizabeth]

I think that you will find that you might be on the wrong message forum, Crossdresserlover!!! I mean the definition of 'Crossdresser' is a heterosexual male that dons the clothing of a female. That would indicate to me that the 'majority' of the girls here are probably NOT dating males.
I am certain that there are some of the girls that would be interested in having someone be their platonic escort for the evening, but beyond that, I think you would be fighting a losing battle.
I think you may be looking more for a transexual. Someone that feels they are in the wrong body. I mean if they were to change their body to female, then a 'normal' heterosexual relationship would involve dating a male. There you would treat her like any other girlfriend and let the relationship develope or die as most relationships do!
There isn't a 'special way' to date a transgendered person!! I don't believe we have 'secret handshakes' or 'secret airkisses' in order to tell someone it is ok to ask us out for the evening. Just be ready for a LOT of rejection!!!
(If anyone knows this weeks secret handshake..... PM me!!!)
Lisa E

[Jenny Beth]

I'm still on a date with my wife after a quarter century....no time for men! :heehee:

[sherri]

I think that you will find that you might be on the wrong message forum, Crossdresserlover!!!No, I think this forum is as much for gay and bi CDs as it is for you, thank you very much.


I mean the definition of 'Crossdresser' is a heterosexual male that dons the clothing of a female. Where on earth did you come up with that idea? That may be your definition, but it is not the definition.


That would indicate to me that the 'majority' of the girls here are probably NOT dating males.And that's fine, but maybe that just means you should refrain from sounding off in this particular thread, because it's obvious that on this particular subject, you have no idea what you're talking about.



I am certain that there are some of the girls that would be interested in having someone be their platonic escort for the evening, but beyond that, I think you would be fighting a losing battle.Is a battle necessary? How about if we just accept and respect each other, equally.



I think you may be looking more for a transexual. Someone that feels they are in the wrong body. I mean if they were to change their body to female, then a 'normal' heterosexual relationship would involve dating a male. There you would treat her like any other girlfriend and let the relationship develope or die as most relationships do!That's certainly one option ... or, maybe he really is specifically interested in a CD, and there are definitely CDs in this forum who might be interested in him.

[Shadeauxmarie]

No, I think this forum is as much for gay and bi CDs as it is for you, thank you very much.

Where on earth did you come up with that idea? That may be your definition, but it is not the definition.

And that's fine, but maybe that just means you should refrain from sounding off in this particular thread, because it's obvious that on this particular subject, you have no idea what you're talking about.


Is a battle necessary? How about if we just accept and respect each other, equally.


That's certainly one option ... or, maybe he really is specifically interested in a CD, and there are definitely CDs in this forum who might be interested in him.



My thoughts exactly. Cogent responses all.

[windycissy]

Sherri got it right, like most things in life, crossdressers fall into a bell-shaped curve: most fit into the "heterosexual male" category but there are many exceptions, and sometimes people evolve too...a few years ago I posted a thread about my experiences dating a guy, and my ears are still burning over the outrage from crossdressers who felt threatened, or thought their SO's might get the wrong idea about them....

[Angie G]

My wife won't let me date hun. :hugs:
Angie

[valenstein]

[COLOR="RoyalBlue"]I think that you will find that you might be on the wrong message forum, Crossdresserlover!!! I mean the definition of 'Crossdresser' is a heterosexual male that dons the clothing of a female.

I would not agree with that statement, I've never heard or seen that.

However, the Meeting Place board here might be a better place to inquire.

I will say that many of us like this place because it is not a meat market and is open discussion, so be polite and genuine, please read all the forum rules, then it's all good.

If it's just sex or dating, you would have MUCH better luck elsewhere.

I read in your intro post that you had never admitted to being attracted to CD's before now. I know how that feels, why not talk about your feelings.

So many of us can spot an ulterior motive light years away, as long as you are genuine, I have no problems with it.

[docrobbysherry]

This isn't really a dating site. Unless u count those of us that "date" our female counterparts!
There r other CD sites that specialise in dating. They discuss the kind of questions u ask, quite often!

[sherri]

Hello all, how would everyone be?

I am really curious into how any of you go about, or if you do, go on dates with males and all that jazz. And does it normally have a happy/ish ending? (And not the dirty happy, clean happy).Hi there. I hope you can overlook the less than helpful responses that some of the gurls have posted. As far as I'm concerned, you and your questions are welcome here. And thanks for being so polite and honest in your inquiry. I'll try to answer you if I can.

I guess there are basically two ways to go about meeting and dating CDs -- online and in person. If you hang out at sites like this forum or dating sites like AFF and do some digging, you might find gurls in your area and strike up conversations which could lead to dates. Also, don't overlook online resources like GLBT sites, community-specific gay sites, TG support groups, etc. Any or all of these may lead you to personal contacts.

Because of prejudices in our society, most CDs are careful about how and where they choose to venture out in person. Find out if your community has any gay/lesbian bars where you might meet CDs. If you don't see any CDs, get to know the bartenders and let them know what you're looking for, they might be able to steer you in the right direction. Also, check your phone book and alternative publications for ads for GLBT support organizations in your community -- get in touch with them and find out about activities you might can participate in. And last but not least, look for a Metropolitan Community Church or similar organizations that are CD-friendly and get involved.

As for actually dating a CD, I can't speak for all gurls, but I can tell you what interests me, and what is important to me. I am single, and CDing can definitely be lonely at times, so yeah, I'm very much interested in dating, but I do have my criteria:


The guy must be genuinely attracted to and interested in TGs -- in my case, that means CD. If you're just not, believe me, I'll pick up on that in a heartbeat. Be sincere or forget it.
I may be a guy in a skirt, but when I have a skirt on, I expect to be treated like a girl, just as he would treat a GG. In return, I love to treat a guy the way guys love to be treated by a girl.
If the guy is just interested in getting laid, I'm not interested. I can get that just about any time, if I'm willing to take the sleazy route, which I'm not. Meeting in secret in a motel for a quickie does not constitute a date. If that's what you have in mind, just keep right on looking.
If the idea of being seen in the company of a CD makes you uncomfortable, then I am definitely not your gurl.
Most CDs have a "regular" or "straight" life that they need to protect from society's prejudice, so discretion is important, and consequently I have to be selective about where I go, and I fully understand that you may be in a similar situation. But there are plenty of places we can go on a date, be welcomed and safe and have a good time, so let's just skip the excuses, okay? I've heard them all.

I hope this helps. If you have any other questions, let me know and I'll try to answer them as best I can.

xoxo

PS -- Oops, I forgot to answer your question about happy endings. I'm not really an authority on that particular subject. I've only been at this bi thing a relatively short time and have yet to find that special someone with whom to have a really meaningful relationship. But based on other people's stories and my own thoughts, I have to be honest and admit that crossdressing is an inherently complicated situation for most of us, and that can't help but carry over into relationships. It seems like longterm love is a tough proposition for most people these days, and it seems especially so for gays, and maybe love with a CD is even tougher to pull off. But if both of you know in advance what they're looking for, and are willing to go the extra mile to overcome the additional complexity, then you have as good a chance as anyone. And instead of viewing the situation as problematic, I'm inclined to dwell more on the unique opportunities CDing can bring to a relationship. Think about it.

[sherri]

Sherri got it right, like most things in life, crossdressers fall into a bell-shaped curve: most fit into the "heterosexual male" category but there are many exceptions, and sometimes people evolve too...a few years ago I posted a thread about my experiences dating a guy, I for one followed your dating threads with great interest and thoroughly appreciated your candor.


and my ears are still burning over the outrage from crossdressers who felt threatened, or thought their SO's might get the wrong idea about them....Well, I gotta tell ya, their outrage deeply offends me. It's just another form of prejudice, which you would think all of us here want to avoid like the plague. I know how tender your heart and feelings are, because that's how I feel, so it's difficult to be as thick-skinned as we have to be sometimes. I know that, like me, you long for acceptance and companionship, even love and romance, and you have every right to try to fulfill that longing. If you want to find that fulfillment in the company and arms of a man, then more power to you and don't let anyone's self-serving prejudice stand in your way.

And I do not buy that SO argument as grounds for exclusion or discrimination, either. I understand their concern, but I just want to say something to all the SOs here: yes, some of us CDs are bi or gay. And yes, some bi-curious CDs cheat on their SOs. Anybody who tells you different is lying. But that does not mean that your CD is bi or gay -- in fact, the odds are heavily in favor of him/her being thoroughly hetero, especially if he is involved in a committed relationship with an accepting GG. In this regard, CDs aren't much different than the general population. The vast majority are hetero and wish to stay that way; a much smaller percentage is openly gay, while an even tinier fraction is bi. Odds are, your CD just wants you to accept and love him as best you can.

[jennifer41356]

what Sherri said:werd::yt:

[Nicole Erin]

So CD Lover, You have heard both sides, the "Oh no I don't like men and I doubt any other CDs do" and then Sherri's insightful response :)

But yeah just treat a CD of your interest as you would any other lady and things will at least go smooth, even if she is not interested in men. You could still be friends and maybe she will have a CD friend who IS looking for a guy to date. :heehee: Just never burn your bridges.

I will tell you a little secret that you will enjoy - From the girls I have known, be they CD or TS, usually the prettier ones are more likely to be open to the idea of dating a man. Some of the best looking TS date ONLY men.

Try not to forget though - even the best looking CDs out there are still a guy underneath, and not normally a particularly feminine one. Hard to believe when you see some of the photos of this totally passable CD but just keep that in mind so if you see a pretty CD in male mode, you don't go into shock.

[Kayla_CD]

Wow, this is one of the best threads I have read in a long time. Thank you, Sherri. There are times on this site where I feel that the bisexual or bi-curious among us are not listened to in the same way as the hetero majority. I'm so happy to see someone standing up for herself (especially when she represents my opinions) with such conviction.

I've never gone on a date with a man, mostly bc the prospect of figuring out how is daunting. The dressing up, for me, has always stayed in my room, alone. When I date women I never even bring up the idea of dressing. It's true that crossdressing and dating makes for an often lonely pursuit. But that's why a place like this is so amazing for a person like me. And reading this thread I was reminded of that.

[deja true]

Thank you windy and sherri for saying what I just had to say,too.

Lover did not ask if this was a dating site, he knows that from the intro page!

He did not ask for a date. He can already tell that a vast majority here are married heteros and many go out of their way to let everybody know of their uber starightness.

All he asked was if anybody here dates and how did it go! A question I'd like to hear the answer to as well!

Gosh, for a bunch of guys brave enough to wear dresses, ya'll are sure a bunch scaredy cats!

[KayR]

Well, I am hetero, yes. I also like to think that I am tolerant of others whose sexual preferences extend into areas that I have no desire to explore.
I was the first person to reply to this new member, and I did so with honesty and without any suggestion of discrimination.
I continue to tolerate and support anyone with an alternative lifestyle as long as there are no children involved, and it does not interfere with what I want to do with my life.

[DonnaT]

If you search this forum using the word --poll-- you'll come up with a few threads concerning sexuality and dating.

Such as
http://crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=81680

or

http://crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=80807

Clearly there is overwhelming evidence that not all trans folk are heterosexual. So I don't understand how anyone here can define crossdressers as being hetero. Maybe the've not read many of the threads here that indicate otherwise. :idontknow:

[tvbeckytv]

Well, I am hetero, yes. I also like to think that I am tolerant of others whose sexual preferences extend into areas that I have no desire to explore.
I was the first person to reply to this new member, and I did so with honesty and without any suggestion of discrimination.
I continue to tolerate and support anyone with an alternative lifestyle as long as there are no children involved, and it does not interfere with what I want to do with my life.

i just find it a lil ammusing to see responces like your first post. It may have been open and honest, but it was also quite defensive, and whether you meant it or not, implied that tranny who do date men dress for that reason.
Just so as you know, i exclussively date men, but i dress for myself also

[Lora Olivia]

Well all the research that I have seen suggests that the percentage of gay or bi crossdressers is about equal to the general population. Being married I do not date so I can't answer the original ? That being said "we" still have to say we are bi and "our" SO has said that she understands my desire to be fulfilled as a woman, in other words for me to have sex as a woman with a man

[CD Susan]

All he asked was if anybody here dates and how did it go! A question I'd like to hear the answer to as well!

I will answer Crossdresser Lovers post in the way that that she was originaly asking for an answer. No, I do not date men. I seek the friendship and company of other straight cd's for fun times dressing up and going out together for a good time sharing mutual interests that do not involve sex. I have found that it is difficult to find a friend like this in the rural area of Iowa that I am from. I will keep looking and continue to decline the offers of men looking for sex with a cd that I recieve from my posts on sites other than this one.

[MJ]

for an honest answer it depends on what you consider a date . i have been out with men it went well. if your talking about have sex with them well did not happen we went out talked a lot. after a little kiss on the cheek as a thank you and thats it .. kind of boring not much to tell.
i like meeting sisters for friendship nothing else

[karynspanties]

Well, I am bi, married and a crossdresser. My wife knows and she also knows the guy I "date". He is my best friend from childhood. He and his wife are god parents to my kids and my wife and I are the same to his. I guess I don't really date, I just get together with him when the urge strikes. My wife knows, his wife knows and they are fine with it. They would rather we keep it between him and I and we don't ***** around with other poeple. Everyone stays clean, everyone stays happy. So, I guess you don't have to be hetero to be a crossdresser. :D

[Cathytg]

Funny how some words will set alarms. If she had asked if any of us had spent an evening or an afternoon with a man I wonder if it would have stirred up quite as much of an uproar.

I assume that they great majority of CDs are, by definition, heterosexual. Still, that doesn't require social exclusivity either.

Certainly I have gone to this or that event with a guy. Never did it dressed, however. I doubt that I would feel comfortable but not because of any sexual issues.

But, yeah, my wife frowns upon me dating also. Seriously, she makes me completely happy.

[docrobbysherry]

:fim:
This isn't really a dating site. Unless u count those of us that "date" our female counterparts!
There r other CD sites that specialise in dating. They discuss the kind of questions u ask, quite often!

I MUST stop drinking when I'm on line! Disregard my reply above. Substitute the following:

I'm completely ignorant of the subject matter of your post. Since I don't know anything about it, whatever opinion I have about it, is also ignorant.

U r certainly welcome and entiteled to ask anything u like here. I'm VERY glad others here have the experience and knowledge to respond to your post intelligently! I'll shut up now. As I should have in the first place!:fim:

[Tracii G]

Doc you are too funny!
CD lover You really need to explain more about your self/ situation so we can get to know you a little.
I'm bi by accident really A girlfreind of mine was having a party and asked me to come dressed so I did.I was having a great time dancing with the guys getting felt up on occasion which was strange but I sat down on the couch to rest my feet and this very well mannered guy slid over next to me and said you look great for a guy.I said thanks and we hit it right off.
He was the only one who knew I was a guy.He is such a great guy to be with.
Very understanding and lets me be me.
Its not easy just like any relationship you have to work at it.
He knows I swing both ways but he is OK with that.
We don't look any different than two guys going to the game on Sat or hanging out at the pub.No public displays is my rule.

[Michelle Hart]

As many of you know I don't post here very often but I do read quite a lot of the topics. I am simply amazed by some of the responses, positive and negative. Here you have a guy who may or may not be sincire in his desire and some just make a joke or imidiately dismiss his question outright.

True this is not a "Dating" site but neither is 7-11 and I'm sure a lot of romances have been started there so does it really matter where you meet someone. It sure seems like casting a net in a pond has better odds of catching a fish than throwing it in a sandtrap on a golf course.

Oddly enough the column I just wrote deals with this very issue and Sherri just hit it out of the park with her incredible answers and thoughts. Deja also had some really profound thoughts on this which are yet to be answered. I certainly can answer them and do all the time.

I'm sure some of the people who visit here or regularly contribute wonder that as well and all he did was pose the question.

If anyone here does want the answer or is even romotely curious as to my experiance on the subject feel free to follow the links in my signiture, yes I know it's flagrant self promotion and perhaps bad form but I really want to help this guy out.

[Amy Hepker]

I am not into males only Females.

[Rachaelb64]

It always makes me smile, those people you expect tolerernce from can be the most intolerent.

Some are straight, some are gay and some are bi. Some are white, some are black and some are yellow. Some are male, some are female and some are inbetween. Some are stupid, some are clever and some are average.

It is these differences that makes life interesting, there is no 'normal'.

Btw, I've have trouble dating woman, so I wouldn't know about going about dating another cd/male. In fact I've trouble dating full stop. The rules keep changing.

That why I'm sticking to my SO :)

:2c:

[Glenda]

I'm single and do date both males and females. I enjoy going out with friends and am comfortable with both sexes. I do not have sex with everyone I date and really don't understand why everyone assumes you have to have sex if you date someone. There are a lot of people whose company I enjoy that I'm not attracted to sexually. That being said, there are those that I am intimate with. I've had nothing but good experiences in whichever mode I've been in.

[Wendy me]

while i am not interested in dating ..... some here might ..........please respecter all members here...... make them feel welcome.... we all know what it's like not to feel welcome........ and i see some here that go through disrespect .... having fun with taking light hearted jabs .... shame on you .... the poster who started this thread might be all too sure on just what he wants .... but hell it could be anyone here in the same position .... looking for answers and support ...... thats why we are all here respect and answers and souport.............







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[Lisa Golightly]

Well said Wendy :)

The dating thing is the same in any arena... Go seek, go find, have fun, get spliced or swear never to drink red wine again! ;)

[Alice Torn]

I am a lifetime single, have not found women to date, for ages, am on the alternative personal sites., as Lucille. I have had countless guys wanting to meet me, and, I have nearly decided to meet, but, then, I find they are married already, or, want sex right away, the first meeting! I have been very cautious. I share Sherri's point of view on this, although, I would prefer to meet a right GG, rather than a man. Buit, there is a strong urge, to want a man to caress, and ravish Lucille, and only dressed up.

[me2]

Hi

I haven't posted in a while but I have poped in to read post from time to time and this caught my attention so I thought I might chime in here. It so happens im a “Bi” male and I just love to ware nice soft “pretty” things from time to time. As far as dating goes, I have to be attracted to “someone” ( female/male ) before I look to date them. As a general role looks get my attention and then I look in behind the pretty stuff to see what the person is made of to see if I would like to go further. Mind you, I have not gone to bed with a male as of yet but if the situation presented it self and I felt that relaxed closeness that one looks for in a partner I would and I would enjoy myself. Not for anything, but of all the places I might think I would find open minded and excepting people it would be here. I’m not by any means saying you should go to the “Bi” side of life but don’t be afraid of something different. Come on girls, we’re males that like to “crossdress” Hello

Peace girls:hugs:

[Crossdresser lover]

Hello again to everyone haha.

I'd like to thank you all for your replies, and Sherri for letting me have a sigh of relief because I thought every poster was going to take offense to me.

To answer a few questions, I am not making this thread out of interest of trying to take any of you out on dates or to try to get into your pants, dresses, pantyhose etc., but more to know what everyone's experiences have been with dating, how did the man act, how did you want him to act and all of that. This was more of a fact finding mission you could say because I am trying to get the courage (and brains) to know how, and eventually go about, entering and dating in the CD scene...as I don't think there is much more beautiful than a girl who turns out to be a boy:o

To give some background information on me, I am recently 18, have been attracted to boys in girls clothes for a long, long, long time, live in Tasmania (which is in Australia), which is probably not the most tolerant of places haha.

So this thread was more a less me trying to root out things I might be able to use if I ever find a CD guy/girl/gurl (I don't know the right thing...and CD sounds like an object to me) to spark some romance with...because I'd hate to make a fatal mistake. So I hope that has cleared up my intentions about this topic and given you an insight into...well me :)

[RobinScott]

I understand that we are all unique and cross dress for different reasons. I am Bi-Gender and Bi-Sexual. I would have no problem dating a cross dressed man, or being dated by a man as one. (Probably get a whole different set of looks dating a GG while in drag, but who cares?) The important thing is understanding and respecting the other for who and what they are.

I know this is the bi part of me talking, but just as I don't accept the limitations of having to only dress in gender appropriate clothing, I cant understand not dating someone who you have a connection with just because they are the “Wrong” gender.

Love to all,
Robin.

[deja true]

Hi Lover...

If you'd had your 10 posts in I woulda sent you this in a PM, but maybe others need to read this too.

http://www.reneereyes.com/Webdocs/mtintro.html

Renee, a marvelously wise trans woman from Georgia,has put this section of her site together specifically to answer the very questions that you ask.

Have a read here!

(...and get that 10th post in!) :)

[Kate Simmons]

I've been out to dinner with a close male friend a few times en femme, although neither of us considered it a date per se, just two friends getting together. Guess it depends on what a person is looking for, what their needs are and how badly they need to be thought of as a woman. I don't think of myself as either really, just a person. As far as dinner, just two friends enjoying each other's company and having a good time.:)

[LisaElizabeth]

Well... It didn't take long for my answer to get a response!!!
Sorry to have stepped on a few toes, but it looked to me like crossdresserlover was looking for information on how to date a crossdressed male. The response above kind of indicates I was right.
was I sensitive about my answer? Probably not! Did I speak my mind? Yes!
I still believe that the majority of girls on this forum do not date men. Why not? A variety of reasons.... All personal. But after the upset responses, I have rethought what I said.
I still believe that IF crossdresserlover were to find a girl to spend time with, he should treat her as he would any other woman he wanted to date!! I mean I thought that at least that part of my post was accurate.
As far as the rest of it..... I probably could have used a little more tact and maybe pulled definitions from the Oxford english dictionary instead of my own definitions!! For that I apologise.
But the good news is!!! It really, really started a lively conversation!!!!
AND!! Crossdresserlover got quite a few viewpoints and a great resource at Renee Reyes site for the future!!
Good luck finding a girl to date!!
Lisa Elizabeth

[MsJanessa]

some of Us date guys and some of Us don't. Although most CDs tend to be tolerant of each others sexual orientation, some have a homophobic outlook and no only don't want to be identified as gay or bi but become extremely upset when someone suggests they are. Myself, I'm bi and do date men in certain circumstances--but I will guarantee it's not exactly what you think or what you are looking for. BTW you should know that this is not a dating forum. if you would like to know the address of some, let Me know via e-mail.

[Chiana]

http://www.reneereyes.com/Webdocs/mtintro.html

Renee, a marvelously wise trans woman from Georgia,has put this section of her site together specifically to answer the very questions that you ask.

Have a read here!:)

I have been a big Rene Reyes fan for many years and I highly recommend reading ever thing she has on her site. We are blessed to have someone with such intelligence and insight for a resource.

[Deidra Cowen]

I date guys...really I have had only one really nice guy that would take me out everywhere and totally treated me as a chick. All the rest really just wanted some sex and they move along pretty quickly.

There is a huge stigma for a guy that is seen with one of us in public...don't forget we CDs/Tgirls are basically in disguise while the guy is there for all to see and reconize.

I really wish sometimes I were str8! But dang it emotionally and sexuallly GGs just don't do it for me...so I just have fun little encounters with men from time to time but put most my energy when dressing into going out socializing with my Tgirl friends here in Atlanta.

I have always thought the longterm solution for a gay Tgirl like me would be to have a Tgirl GF. But thats hard too! There are not many of us and its even more rare for me to find someone thats kinda on my wavelenght and that I am attracted too.

There is one girl that really is my cup of tea. She is super pretty, great personality, dresses in a classy way, like me she is part time and still works as a guy. But dammit she is married! Oh well! Just gotta keep on having fun.

Well thats my story to answer you. LOL...I bet you really want to dress yourself. Most the guys I meet when it comes down to it that are interested in us CDs actually want to dress but don't for various reason.

[valenstein]

...as I don't think there is much more beautiful than a girl who turns out to be a boy:o




Well I'm glad he brought it up. I was hesitant to say so here before, but if you forced me into boy clothes, I'd probably come across as a "tranny chaser". Some guys like girls with long legs, big butts, small breasts... I don't think there's anything wrong with liking a woman with a penis. IF I was single, I'd date her like any other woman. I would never treat her like the admirers have treated me. If I found someone attractive, it wouldn't matter what parts they did or didn't have, I'm not going to ask, but I aslo don't deny the physical features I find attractive in my head. As long as I can look into their eyes and see a woman in there, that's all that I need.

I've always had an attraction to GG women that are angular in the jaw, muscular (think Linda Hamilton in T2 or Angela Bassett in Strange Days) but still very female personas. Pink's androgynous look makes me crazy!

It's the mix of two physical genders I find most alluring visually. That's not all there is to it, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I am fine that people see me as a boy that looks like a girl, as long as they know there isn't much "boy" in my brain.

[chrissy hamilton]

This debate seems to mirror my own internal debate through the years. I remember when I was younger, I would be flitting around in my sister's prettiest dress and some cute heels and thinking "it's not bad, at least I don't like guys." But through the years I couldn't help to start fantasizing about being with guys while I was dressed. Especially dancing with a guy while I was in a formal dress. That seemed just the femmiest thing I could ever do. Dancing soon became kissing and making out. I remember the first time I dreamt about being with a guy as a girl, it really scared me. I am still confused, I don't know what I really want at this point. My fantasies heavily involve guys, and I think I am attracted to some real guys, but I still consider myself as a straight t-girl and like girls too.

[sherri]

... to know what everyone's experiences have been with dating, how did the man act, how did you want him to act ... I am trying to get the courage (and brains) to know how, and eventually go about, entering and dating in the CD scene...as I don't think there is much more beautiful than a girl who turns out to be a boy:o

To give some background information on me, I am recently 18, have been attracted to boys in girls clothes for a long, long, long time, live in Tasmania (which is in Australia), which is probably not the most tolerant of places haha. Hi again. Sorry for taking so long to reply to your second post, it's been nuts here.

Your youth makes a difference in what we might have to say to you about all this. Your biggest challenge is going to be in finding TGs your age, but then again, I have seen signs here and there that more kids are being a little more open about that sort of thing, with less stigma, and I hope that turns out to be true. If you're going to go to college, maybe you'll encounter TGs in that environment, and don't overlook the resources we've already mentioned, even if it means you have to travel to a bigger city somewhere. This is going to require some work and patience on your part to find what you want.

When you do meet TGs, it may well be within some sort of alternative culture (gay, lesbian, whatever), so that might take awhile to get used to, but otherwise, when you meet a TG, just express what you have to us and don't think you have to pretend to have a lot of experience or all the answers. You may have to be the one to break the ice and make the first move, and it's okay to be a little unsure of yourself, just don't come across as fake or needy. Be yourself, be real and don't be in it just for sex, and expect her to be levelheaded as well. Beware the CD -- or the GG, for that matter -- that is all fluff and self-absorption. Especially at your age, it's all new and edgy and amped up, which is fine, but underneath all that there needs to be a real person you can relate to and get along with.

One of the biggest pieces of advice I can give you is to have the courage to be open about your attraction and don't be embarrassed or ashamed to be seen in the company of a CD. Yes, society being what it is, you will have to be a little selective about where you go together, but there are lots of chances to be together, and don't be afraid to push the envelope whenever you can. Be proud of her, treat her with the respect and romance you would a GG and you'll go a long way in winning her heart -- and make sure she is equally proud of being with you. Treat each other with a lot of tenderness and consideration.

And at your age, don't feel like it's the end of the world if you date awhile and one of you decides to keep it light or even move on -- there will probably be a lot of dating in your life before you find "the one".

[sherri]

... All the rest really just wanted some sex and they move along pretty quickly.
Ain't that the truth!


There is a huge stigma for a guy that is seen with one of us in public
I know this is true, and I see evidence of it every time I chat online with a guy or go out, but I guess I've been doing this so long now I've lost sight of exactly why the stigma is there, at least within "alternative" environments or contexts (i.e. gay/lesbian/etc) where "unusual" pairings are the norm. I see guys at the clubs or wherever that I know are interested but they just don't have the courage to act on their interest in front of others (but get me alone with no one else around to see and oh yeah, they're all too willing to act on their impulses). Sure, some of them are friendly, but then again some of them can't even handle that, god forbid ask me to dance or otherwise show some romantic interest. I wish someone, preferably one of them, would sit down with me and explain to me exactly why being seen with me is such a problem. Again, assuming we're functioning within a tolerant environment, what exactly is the nature of the stigma?


...don't forget we CDs/Tgirls are basically in disguise while the guy is there for all to see and reconize.
That's a good point. And I presume that what's going through his head is, "Ohmygod, I can't let all my [gay] friends know I'm attracted to that! How would I ever live down the shame?!?"


I have always thought the longterm solution for a gay Tgirl like me would be to have a Tgirl GF. But thats hard too! There are not many of us and its even more rare for me to find someone thats kinda on my wavelenght and that I am attracted too.
Not to mention that most of us prefer to be the "bottom", or the more submissive, in the relationship, which raises the often insurmountable problem of who's going to be the top.


I bet you really want to dress yourself. Most the guys I meet when it comes down to it that are interested in us CDs actually want to dress but don't for various reason.
Again you've hit the nail on the head. So many of the guys that contact me like to wear panties or want to dress a little in private for fun and games. And they don't understand why the idea of a hairy-legged guy in pantyhose and mustache doesn't turn me on. :D My heart always sinks when I hear that sort of thing cuz I know it's going nowhere -- if I'm going to date a guy, I want him to be a guy, or else get out the razor and makeup and go for it.

[Sally24]

Since I am married and my wife draws the line at flirting I haven't had any real dates. Danced with one gay guy once and have received compliments from any number of our admirers that come with my T-girl friends and I. I consider myself hetero but not quite as rabid as I used to think. I am a little curious and if single would probably at least consider dating a guy. And don't read "dating" as "having sex". Back in my day they were two very separate things!

As others have said, dating a CD/TG entails all the regular things that a nice guy should consider plus other baggage that comes with our special situation. I think a real world situation would work much better than trying to start something on-line. Just go out to some of the drag bars or clubs that t-girls hang out at. Ask some bartenders and I'm sure you'll find them in most large metro areas. Hang out, buy a few drinks for some of the girls, flirt a little, talk a little, get to know some of them. Just like natel girls, they want to get to know you and they want you to get to know them. You may just make some friends and who knows what else will happen.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I am married and I do not date! Dating is a thing IMHO goes for more than one time. I have met with an admirer one time and for the 10 minutes we talked and he was begging for my panties and or hose I said I had to go to work as I was just called back in, he asked about my "Husband" I played along and he begged for a kiss, I said no but the persisted and kissed me on the lips! It was my first kiss and last kiss from a male and it took 6 months for that image to get out of my head! BTW my male side wanted to knock him out!

[Tracii G]

If you are interested in a CDer to date go find a TG group and hang with them I'm sure you will hit it off with someone or at least learn more about it.
My first kiss with a guy happened when I was dressed at a party so it didn't look odd but it was different.
I got to know him through out the night and he seemed very nice. He knew I was a male.It took him the better part of an hour to figure it out but he did and he still approached me and asked for a dance.
At the end of the dance he bent down and gave me a very nice soft kiss on the lips.I was not sure how to react at first but it was a great kiss.
But it was his personality that hooked me.
As far as "gay sex" no thanks I won't do that.

[susan fuller]

I date my wife at least twice a week. She is all I can handle if I want to go on living. Seriously I am not into dating men. Love the ladies too much. That includes their clothes.

[Fab Karen]

What Sherri said about the "Cd's are by definition" thing, as well as about dating, is right. Whether casual or a serious relationship, #1 is treat a T-girl as a lady.

From what little I know of Australia, Sydney is the place to go, I hear there's an LGBT section of town ( clubs & such ).

[Carol123]

Havent yet...but who knows

[Empress Lainie]

Not really sure if I should post on here, but my experience for what it is worth.
First off, I am a TSwoman since July 2007. I dated if you can call it that another tswoman from the group I went to, having dinner every week together after the meeting (on me!).

Two months later she asked me if she could come home with me, I said ok and we have been together ever since.

I dance with men and love being held, they buy me drinks but I seldom go out alone, usually with my so or with her and my ex-gf. She doesn't mind that I do.

The men I dance with do not know I am TS, but one suspected my gg exgf was. we all had a laugh over that.

Prior to my transition I was strictly heterosexual male with a lot of feminine traits of character. I never liked men or boys and was never attracted to them.

If our relationship which is nonsexual broke up, I can see I might become bi and date men and women both, for socialization and also for sex.

I know (and this is just my circle) more TS that are lesbian among the mtf's than hetero. You like girls before, you are more likely to like girls after. The ftm's I know personally, not very many include a married couple(to a guy) and a couple that I guess you would say are male gay in their chosen gender.

[Charlena]

My wife of 27 years is extremely jealous, but at least now she knows when I look at other women I am not lusting after them just trying to get tips and admiring their clothes and the way they handle theirselves. There were ( and still are) confusing times when I think there is something wrong with me. I am coming to terms with my feminine self. I have the best woman in the world for me. If I was your age and had been honest with myself I might have wondered too what my sexual orientation was. But I love my wife, enjoy being around others women and sisters. Shopping, out for coffee or lunch and blending in is what I want now. But I'm 49 YO and you are so young, I wish you good luck in finding yourself, it took me many years and a loving wife to find the way that is right for me, I hope you find yours, Just try to respect yourself and others, honesty I think will always pay off in the long run. Hugs, but remember a hug from me is like getting a hug from your sister or in your case a Aunt.

P.S. I did not mean to come off sounding like you had too find a woman, find out who is right for you. Good Luck!

[Michellebej]

Why is it that whenever a question like this is asked, every CD with a wife has to rush in and say that they would never cheat on thier wives, let alone date a man?

And; why is it that people are in such a hurry to answer questions that were not intended for them?

This question seems to have a specific audiance. And; I would say that unless you can contribute in a positive or constructive way, to this or any other question, then "stay the heck off the topic".

...steps off the soap box.

Ok, hun; now to answer your question. I am not a TS. I have however dated a few men and even lived with one as his "wife" for quite awhile.

Happy endings? Well most of the dates were like anyone elses dates. Some good and some bad. The long term relationship was rather pleasant till I realized that I lacked the emotional element necessary to bond romantacally with a man.

Hope this was constructive.

Love

Michelle

[susan lewis]

I have only been out with gentleman a few times on dates and they were wonderful. The men were very protective and caring and treated me as a lady at all times. I look forward to more dates with these guys and other men like them. They fill an emotional and physical need I have when dressed and madeup as Susan