Do You Ever Get Mad at Yourself?

[PrettyGiGi]

Sometimes I hate myself for my urges. Sometimes I wish I were just born a girl.

[TommiTN]

No, I don't. My "urge" is a part of me and hurts no one. Trying to suppress it is harmful.

[MJ]

i agree with Tammi , Trying to suppress it is harmful. try to accept this part of you. why keep beating yourself up it's not going away you know

[Melinda G]

If you were born a girl, you wouldn't get any kick out of dressing like one. We do this from a male standpoint. If you were born a girl, you would be wearing sweats and tennis shoes, most of the time, and grumbling about your bra, and how much high heels hurt. :D

[jennifer41356]

Sometimes I hate myself for my urges. Sometimes I wish I were just born a girl.


I dont hate myself, I embrace being this way, I wouldnt trade it for anything or I wouldnt give it up for anything. I consider myself lucky to even for a tiny bit to experience life as a female.I know I cant experience all that women go thru in this crazy world, but I feel i can relate to them better and understand where they are coming from....and I too wish i would have been born a girl:2c::love:

[Cathytg]

To urge is human; to deal with it is divine.

Do not hate yourself for something as innate as the urge to dress. You ought to judge yourself on how you deal with it. That urge is an expression of your gender place and it is the gender issue that you should celebrate because it makes you a full and sensitive person. Try to keep that perspective. It isn't about dressing.

[Deedee Dupree]

Hello PrettyGiGi,

I no longer become angry at myself for my urges..... I would be upset if I did something to disrupt my balance, or excluded any part of myself from my "whole self". Make sense?

It's about knowing yourself... asking yourself the right questions and not looking for answers in the wrong places. Took me a long time just to open "Pandora's box". What I thought was in the box wasn't in there at all. Granted, it does take time... easier said than done.

So, I would be regretful if I lived my life without knowing my true nature. That would be a very deep sorrow. Since Pretty GiGi has announced her presence to you, you are stuck dealing with her whether you like it or not. If you live in severe denial of her existence to the point of depression and illness, that would be something to be mad about. I hope you will find a way to acknowledge her existence, embrace her, nurture and take good care of her and in time you may learn to love her and ALL of yourself. dd

[Tracii G]

Well put Miss Dupree.

[Angie G]

I would only get mad if I passed up a chance to dress And that never happens hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Ballerina]

I also used to get flustered at my urges to dress and want to live split between both worlds. I felt it was abnormal and against everything to have the feelings I did but, when I came out to my girlfriend, I had a sudden awakening about who I am, and what I can accomplish just for my own happiness and wholeness. I can't even wear any feminine clothing yet because of my living situation, but I am still proud of who I am. Now if only I can kick my social anxiety disorder :P

Don't let anything stop your happiness. Regrets can be more sickening and paralyzing than botulism (but don't let yourself get carried away to the point where you forget responsibilities and other regrets).

[Joanne f]

A lot of it has to do with circumstances, if you are lucky enough to have the right circumstances to dress how you please and when you please, then there is a good chance that you will not feel this madness at your self and i also think that the deeper you are into it the worse you will feel for not being able to do it , but there are also circumstance`s that dressing alone cannot cure that madness as you put it .




joanne :fairy2:

[Kate Simmons]

We are exactly who we are supposed to be. There is a reason for everything my friend.:)

[AliciaWeb]

Understanding and accepting who you are is so important for a contented life, as so many have said before. I think if I had been born a girl I would want to dress like a boy. Yes I know, awkward and trying to be different- I thought I was till I came here, ah well, too late to change now.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I don't either I just roll with it.

[Tina B.]

Sometimes I hate myself for my urges. Sometimes I wish I were just born a girl.

Dear, A lot of us wish we where born a girl, but that is not a reason to hate yourself, even if you hate being a boy, that is just part of you, the real you is inside, boy or girl, or maybe boy and girl. You can hate the facts of your life, even the urges, but that is not yourself. I hope like most of us here, you will learn to live with those urges, and if you are as lucky as a lot of us, you will learn to enjoy those urges. I for one would be broken hearted if I woke up to find myself "cured" and no longer could enjoy dressing up in womens clothes.
Tina B.

[Nicki B]

Gigi...

Isn't what you are really hating is the black and white view that you can only be either a man, or a woman? Not all cultures believe this, it's primarily only the Abrahamic religion-based ones.

Why not fight the conditioning, not who you are?

[Chari]

Enjoy all facets of your complex life and be comfortable in who you are.

[Sarah...]

I used to and it was harmful so I don't get mad anymore. What I can't believe is how long it took me to learn that!!

Sarah...

[Deborah Jane]

Sometimes I hate myself for my urges. Sometimes I wish I were just born a girl.

Yep!!!

I used to hate myself for the urges and then i learned to accept them, they almost took over my life with me dressing whenever i could, much to the detrement of everything else in my life.
Now i,m trying to control them again and get some sort of sense back into my life!!
Like you...Sometimes i think it would be better if i,d been born a girl and then things wouldn,t get like this!!

[Cary]

I get mad at myself for the stupid things I do in this life. This is not one of them. This actually gives me great comfort and joy. This is a part of me that I never want to let go. I love Cary!:)

[Karren H]

I love myself... and my hobby... urgers or not!!! What's fun is fun and there's nothing to hate, imho...

Ok wait... I hate the fact that I can't not eat chocolate if it's there... which makes me gain weight, which makes me not fit into my dresses.... yea... I really frigin hate that!!! lol

[Alice Torn]

The gg's don't seem to enjoy dressing up, for the most part. I know of some, who WILL not ever wear a dress, skirt, hose, or feminine shoes! They only wear jeans, t-shirts, sweats, running shoes! How sad! What a waste. If we were born girls, we would probably be bored with dressing, Instead, we get the thrills when we get to dress up- the thrills too many gg's have lost, in our times.

[Sarah Doepner]

I've found it's not very productive to get mad at myself. First, I have to wait in line because so many others are mad at me anyway. Second, getting mad at myself only shifts my attention away from the problem. The problem for me is the unwilling nature of our society to accept crossdressers, driving us into closets and into situations where we curse ourselves. Do what you need to do and accept your nature. Understand the limits that are placed on you and go from there. Eventually we will be free, I hope.

[katrinacd]

The only thing I'm still a little mad about is not understanding/accepting my desires earlier in life. Maybe then I would have been able to better communicate this part of me to my wife before we were married.

[whitelace]

Yes! when I give in to urges repeatedly like shopping for clothes and accessories I do get mad at myself .
Actually I love having the urges it lets me know how impulsive and self serving I can be were I to act on each one of them . sometimes it's a real battle but the ability to stave them off allows me to to feel in control which I feel, builds character.

I know when and allow myself to give in and besides it gives me relativity

so I would be the one to say....to much of a good thing is never enough...sometimes hugs....lacie:battingeyelashes:

[joann426]

the urage of getting mad at your is no more for me cause i just do it when i can dress and one of these days i will dress all the time :hugs:

[PamelaTX]

The only thing I'm still a little mad about is not understanding/accepting my desires earlier in life.

Yeah, what she said!

That would have saved a lot of people a lot of heartache.

[emmicd]

PrettyGiGi,

Don't be so hard on yourself.

It is natural to have needs fulfilled and to deny them can only be hurtful.

I too repressed a lot and denied myself the crossdressing for years only to come back to it and dress more so.

I have purged way to many times and realized that was not a solution.

My desires for crossdressing are always there.

I too wish I were born a girl but am grateful for marrying and having a son I am crazy about.

My son is my life!

My wife is my partner!

My crossdressing is my recreation that goes back to my young boyhood.

Stop being upset with yourself and start getting on with your life!

All my best!

emmi
xoxo

[dancinginthedark]

Sometimes I hate myself for my urges. Sometimes I wish I were just born a girl.

I think for many this is unfortunately a common feeling. I'm not familiar with you so I have to assume you are still in the early days of learning to accept yourself and are still learning. *hugs*

Give yourself some time and at least as much patience and understanding as you give others. Please come here as often as you feel comfortable doing so. I think you'll find a lot of comfort in the reading here and sharing with the others.

I know it's often a long bumpy road to self acceptance but you'll get there. :gh:

dancin

__________________________________________
Now on to my mini rant.....


If you were born a girl, you wouldn't get any kick out of dressing like one. We do this from a male standpoint. If you were born a girl, you would be wearing sweats and tennis shoes, most of the time, and grumbling about your bra, and how much high heels hurt. :D


The gg's don't seem to enjoy dressing up, for the most part. I know of some, who WILL not ever wear a dress, skirt, hose, or feminine shoes! They only wear jeans, t-shirts, sweats, running shoes! How sad! What a waste. If we were born girls, we would probably be bored with dressing, Instead, we get the thrills when we get to dress up- the thrills too many gg's have lost, in our times.



:naughty Don't lump us all together Mel& Lucille. Women dress like women every day. What makes you think I (many of us) don't enjoy that? I don't even own any sweats and my tennies are pink thank you very much. BTW I'm sitting here in silk jammies and have I'm Not Really a Waitress red on my nails. I'd venture I have more heels than you do since I've lost count and :blah: :blah: :blah:

Jeez kids play nice. It's not funny when you manage to insult an entire segment of the forum while grinning about it.

:brolleyes:

[sterling12]

If The Gurls care to be honest with you, there's hardly a CD around who didn't at least have fantasies about becoming a Girl. It usually strikes in Childhood and then again later. Your feelings are not unusual.

But, for virtually all of us it remains a fantasy. Too many obligations, too many loose ends! Even if we choose to move to that end of The TG Spectrum, it just wouldn't work out. If you ever get the chance, explore all of your feelings. You might even try living as a woman, then you will know if it's right for you. When you realize exactly where you fit in The TG Spectrum, it seems to often give a person peace and some form of contentment.

TS Women seem to have a compulsion that we don't have. They are driven to change what they believe was a mistake. Usually, NOTHING is going to get in the way of their quest to change their sex.

I imagine your just venting, and you probably have not given the situation much thought, I think I understand your frustrations. But, probably the best advise is, explore and find self-acceptance.....just seems to work out a whole lot better.

Peace and Love, Joanie