Revealing yourself!

[emmicd]

If you had the experience of revealing the secret side of crossdressing to others or just one person did you find the experience a positive one or a mistake?

Who did you reveal this to and why?

Do you think sometimes a secret should remain so?

Also if it is a secret with your wife do you think that it is better this way or is it better to reveal it?

emmi
xoxo

[Ballerina]

When I first came out to my GF of 4 years (ex then), I was really ashamed, nervous, and scared that things will go sour. But, it has turned into a very positive thing. It even helped me realize that being a CD isn't something to be ashamed of.

I came out to her because holding back my secret was just causing more turmoil inside me. I had made a promise to myself after our break-up that I would come out and tell anyone that I'm with. Also, I was afraid that I would start sneaking into her clothes and I think that's a little rude :P

Yes, there are deffinitely things that shouldn't be said sometimes.

I think it's a good thing to reveal yourself to your wife or girlfriend. Holding yourself back is just hiding a big part of yourself from her. Good or bad, I feel that coming out can lead to a better understanding of your relationship.

[Karren H]

Well you can go read the event I posted here... amny years ago when my wife found out... It wasn't fun!! Lots of crying and freaking out... and my wife was pretty upset too!!! hahaha

[RobinScott]

I had good experiences as a result of being out to those who are important to me, and I have had bad. (mostly good). I have gone through the grief of rejection because someone who was important to me could not handle my gender freedom. Now all of my TRUE fiends know and accept who I am. It is such a joy to have friends who I can be myself with.

Love to all,
Robin.

[Cathytg]

Several years after my divorce and prior to my second marriage,I did share my secret with my best friend. And he shared his with me. It was a very positive experience and deepened our friendship.

But it also occurred to me that a secret shared is a burden given. In his case it was fine because he then shared his own secret with me, but in most cases I feel that it is not such a good thing to tell someone a secret so deep and then say: "But don't tell anyone else." It places an unfair (in my opinion only) load upon that person.

Having said that, I will also add that I told my present wife about my dressing after only our second date. But I knew then that we would marry and have a wonderful life together. And so it has happened. Her comment? "Wow, I bet you have some cool clothes!"

So, in the past 15 years I have told only two people, but they are very important in my life. I would not tell others unless I were ready to come out completely in which case it would not be a secret anyway.

[tanya3]

I came out to my wife 3 yrs ago and it was really no surprise to her at all . In fact it was right after we got married . She is very supportive and has actually helped me out and bought some clothes and make up .

[Kate Simmons]

Depends on the person really. I've found it's best to tread lightly with this, especially if it could have a potential negative impact. Taking the time to consider all possible scenerios is best as things tend to cascade downward after the "cat" is out of the bag. In the end it is our own personal call, however, as we will be living with the results.:)

[AnnaMaria]

I have told several people so far about my secret and to date the only negative response I have had was from my soon to be ex wife. She always said that she was supportive but down deep I truly feel that it was a big part of our breakup. But I would rather that happen than live what I consider a lie or worse yet live my whole life with someone who doesn't love me because they know about me.

Of course after the breakup with my wife I decided that from now on I am going to tell any woman who I am serious about before we get to the point of being intimate. The reason for that decision was simply the fact that once I have been physically intimate with a woman I am much closer to her and it is not as easy to walk away or to have her walk away. For me it is the moment when I allow myself to truly start to feel for that person.

Of course, the second reason I really don't have much choice in telling her before we are intimate is because I might be wearing panties that are prettier than the ones that she is wearing and how else would I explain that.


Huggs

Anna

[Katheryn]

I had a friend who lived here a long time ago, back when I was deeply in the closet to the entire world. Then he moved to the northern end of the state and while we kept in contact, it was no longer the few times a week that he and his wife and I and my wife would get together to share a supper and an evening.

One year, I sent him a Christmas card, and months later I got a letter in return, from New Mexico. Inside was a second envelope with "open after you read the letter" it. In a rambling letter that gave "beating around the bush" new meaning, he confessed that he was TS and went to NM to Transition.

I called her up and she asked if I'd read the letter, I said "Your phone number was at the end." She asked if I was upset or somehow angry at her, and I told her I was only sad that I was a crossdresser and we hadn't told each other and wasted years of being male friends when we could also have been girlfriends and gone shopping and so on.....

You never know


Kate

[cdbrandi]

I told my wife on our second date, and showed her my closet of girl clothes. She is very accepting, but she went through my clothes and made me git rid of the stuff that was horribaly out of date and style, or just plain-o-ugly. And over the last 3 years has helped me replace it with new stuff.

[JoanAz]

While attending a CD Meeting, in my most feminine atire,
In walks a fellow Pilot, (I was fly for a living) he is in drab.
he has no idea "I am his friend and fellow Pilot"
As the meeting goes on I finaly let him in on who he is looking at.
He said "You make a better looking Woman than as a Man"

we had spent many years flying together and never knew of the others Hobby
I lost touch with him shortly after, shame we never got together.
Joan Az:daydreaming:

[Sarah...]

If you had the experience of revealing the secret side of crossdressing to others or just one person did you find the experience a positive one or a mistake?

No negative experiences so far...

Who did you reveal this to and why?

Various family and one friend. My SO revealed it mostly - because she wanted to and also because circumstances would have required telling a lie otherwise. Neither of us will lie about it if asked / confronted.

Do you think sometimes a secret should remain so?

Sometimes.

Also if it is a secret with your wife do you think that it is better this way or is it better to reveal it?

It's no secret with my wife. I couldn't have carried on much longer keeping it that way. Better to reveal.

emmi
xoxo

Sarah...

[Angie G]

Only one my wife and it was very positive I can be Angie 5 days a week and it's OK with her. the only thing she has a problem with Is my wanting more shoes. :hugs:
Angie

[Tina B.]

I have told three people in my life, my EX-wife, I guess that helps to explain the EX part. My big brother, since he was there when the EX-wife used it against me in a custody hearing, and my brother was there with me, that was some ride home, just the two of us in the car, and him wanting to know what a transvestite was, and why. As far as I know he kept my secret all the rest of his life. Then there was the last one I told, my wife of 37 years, after the way in went with the first wife, that was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But it was the best thing that ever happened to me, because she has been a blessing in my life. She treats me like a lady, when that is what I need, and as her Macho husband, when that is what we both need.
Tina B.

[Joanne f]

I now think that letting anyone know has been a big mistake for me







joanne :fairy2:

[Anna the Dub]

My best friend told me her deepest secret, and I felt I had to reciprocate. It had been bothering me for a while, we had become very close, and I had this huge secret that was just eating me up. I felt that I had to tell her, and suffer the consequences. I was afraid that she might not want to know me anymore, but I still had to tell her. Her reaction was let's get you some decent clothes, some make up and let's have lots of girly nights. Which we did. She also helped me through the realisation that I wanted to go further than just dressing. The years have moved on, she is now married with a family but we are still best friends. She has always been 100% supportive, offers me encouragement, gives me clothes, and is with me every step of the way. Love her to bits. Wouldn't be here without her. Now everyone knows, family, work, etc. Don't care any more, I am who I am.

[Alice Torn]

I told one old friend, who is homosexual. He was surprised, but accepting, doesn't understand why a man does it. One old woman friend, who was a bit surprised, but, she'd had a roomer, who also was cd. One other male friend, who was accepting, and one woman in my church, I ought not told! She is a gossip, and may have been telling others who know me.

[tricia_uktv]

Now I shout it from the highest hills
Even told the golden daffodils
Once I had a secret love
Now this little love's no secret anymore

[PamelaTX]

For me it's no longer a secret, but it is private. I might share a private moment with a friend, but only if I thought he/she could handle it.

I've had enough of the "deep dark secret" thing. I've kept my true self secret from my friends, family, and especially myself for decades, and I am much the worse for it. I don't feel the need to expose my private life to everyone, but if it comes out for some reason, well, so be it.

[Trinity Trentham]

I came out to my Girlfriend of 5-7 months. Was a big risk but I knew I had to - if only for myself...

She was great and wants to come out with me to events - I do love her so.

[TerriM]

I told my wife after about 10ys of marriage. It was a relief telling her. But she will never accept my femme side. We are married almost 37yrs now. Besides the dressing we have a great marriage. The only other non cd persons I told was a priest my wife sent me to and a psychlogist I saw for about 9 mnths. At times I was thinking of telling my brother, but then thought why should I burden him with such a secret.

[Deborah Jane]

If you had the experience of revealing the secret side of crossdressing to others or just one person did you find the experience a positive one or a mistake?
xoxo

I,ve had positive and negative responses when i told people...
I told my ex wife and that is the reason she,s now my ex wife!!
I told my oldest son and my daughter and they,re both fine with it, i also told my mum and after seeing me as Debs she now prefers Debs
I told my sister recently but it,s hard to figure out how she took it as she hasn,t spoken to me since [i,ve got a strange feeling she never will]

[Jaclyn NM]

I told my wife, because I just couldn't keep it in anymore, and she has been very understanding, and supportive. We are taking it slow and easy, and have set some boundaries, which I have no problem with. After hiding it for so many years, just being able to sit and watch TV with my wife while I'm wearing stockings and high heels is wonderful. She even took me shopping and helped me select the right thigh high stockings. Now I'm looking forward to developing this new relationship further, but I'm going to go very slow, so I don't rock the boat. Therefore I'd have to say that the experience has been very positive.

[gwendy]

Jean, a good female friend, and I got quite drunk and she insisted in coming round to my place for a nightcap, by that time I had forgotten that my femme persona was all over the place so it didn’t take long for the question -
“I thought you lived here alone”
“I do!”
“O, I see” silence for a while,
and the lovely thing was that she accepted it as almost normal and wanted to know everything about Gwendoline.
We were soon in the bedroom with me dressing and putting on my makeup and having a proper ‘girly’ time.
We were good friends before, we are best mates now: Her husband, my good drinking buddy, knows nothing (I think) so when we are all out together we have an interesting time, any male banter about ‘trannies’ draws a secret smile between us.
So all in all, I’m really happy Jean found out about me!

[wolff8u2]

when I told my Gf she was worried I wanted to be a woman, but I assured her I only wanted to feel pretty. Then we told a good friend of ours (F) and she was excited about it. I also told another friend (F) and she was also glad for me. I am contemplating telling my older sister but not sure how she will take it. so I guess I can say right now all the reactions have been good so far.

[Chiana]

I have told two different GG's. One was gay and wanted to help improve my look. But we moved away from each other soon after and it never really went anywhere. The other is a 30+ year friend. She is accepting and enableing but she really doesn't want to see me dressed or be exposed to anything directly. And some other people have seen me dressed at halloween but they most likely think it was just a costume. I have been tempted on numerous occasions to tell various friends but I always talk myself out of it. I have a hard time seeing how telling anyone can be a good thing.

[paulaluvssz8]

I have only told my wife about Paula. It didn't go so well. At first she acted like it was ok and about 2 months. And then she demanded that I stop with no mention of it again. So back to the closet for me.

[Tomara]

I have only told one person in my life ( with the exception of this forum ) and that was my therapist , she was very supportive and understanding that day , and continues to help me to understand my feelings about cross dressing.
We have talked about me telling a couple of my good friends , but so far the fear of rejection by them has stopped me from doing that.
Tomara