First Time Speaking in Public??

[JamieDP]

I often read numerous threads about our first time out and our experiences with getting out en femme that really helps learn about our physical appearance and acceptance/passing, but I am curious if any lady's would be willing to share their experiences the first time you had to speak in public? Did you try to make your voice as feminine as possible? Did you use an accent? Did you try to whisper? Write it down? Did you go with the more stereo typical flamboyant "gay" (please don't get offended I didn't know how else ot describe that) How did you manage this?

Part two, how does your SO for those that have approving SO's react to your "different" voice? was it too much? Do you talk in your normal voice still around your SO or do you get in girl mode 100%.

The reason I ask is that I have another opportunity but with my wife this weekend to be en femme probably nearly 24x7 and maybe do some shopping.
Because of the length of time it can take to truly transform into Jamie I would love to get started now, but I still have errands to run. My delema is tranform to Jamie starting now and start running those errands or run the errands then start really late tonight, which then i'll be too pooped to enjoy.

The one thing that holds me back from option one and going now is my voice which is very deep and full of bass. If I follow various tips, etc. and use a Southern Draw I think I do o.k. enough to sound like a drag queen performing at a show at the very worse. And I mean that as a compliment not an insult.

Any insight, advice or stories or experiences would be soo helpful...

[Sarah Doepner]

I was very quiet a lot of the time, but tried to use the breathy voice in the back of the throat in my natural register. I don't pass very well, but it made me feel better. I found my wife got used to that voice and when we went out together for the first time in ages she pointed out that I wasn't using it and better get it back.
Good luck and have a wonderful time!

[Jenna Lynne]

I have some vocal tips on my blog, at http://jennalynne.wordpress.com/public-speaking/.

I'm a tenor, not a bass, so the pitch issues may be a bit different -- but I'm starting to think that men's deep voices are not entirely natural. Men learn to make growling, grunting noises so as to intimidate other men. As you learn to relax and enjoy being a girl, you may find that your pitch can rise in a very natural, relaxed way.

***Jenna Lynne***

[tamarav]

I think the biggest mistakes I made and it seems a lot of others have made, is not to practice before you go out. First time being asked what you want to drink and the only thing you can think of is how to sound feminine. Tough.

Read all the voice change threads and sites you can, practice talking into a recorder, and listening. You may find that the voice you hear in your ears is not the one that others hear. Your own head resonates as you speak and gives you a much deeper feel to your voice.

Try talking with less muscle structure behind your voice, don't take a deep breath and then speak. Watch "Some like it hot" with Marilyn. Emulate how she takes tiny breaths and speaks slowly.

Don't get flustered with your voice. I do hair on women all day long and many times I have to look in the mirror to see who is speaking, voices can be very "middle of the road" in many cases. Some of my clients sound more like men than most of my male clients.

Mostly, just relax and not try too hard. That is the biggest giveaway in voice as far as I am concerned.

I talk to my clients all day long and have never had one tell me I sound like a man, I am dressed at work.

Your new sis,

Tami

[JamieDP]

I have been indulging in the voice threads for almost 5 to 6 months and practicing almost everyday. In fact 4 months ago we got a new puppy, and I spend 2 30 minute training sessions with him each day. I would do one in male voice and other in feminine voice. (I also thought this would be helpful if ever walking him in public while in fem, he'd be responsive to both), but I figured it'd give me 30 minutes a day of practice. I have done tons of recordings, but I still feel like my voice doesn't pass....

And Tami I just about log on here almost everyday to read what you've had say. Girl I don't know you but I think you make all of us girls feel like we are all sisters. I admire you soo much!!!

-Jamie

[Sally24]

Passing is great, but don't make it the only thing in going out. People generally treat you pretty well anyway so enjoy yourself! My appearance is pretty good but my voice has a long way to go. My wife says she's noticed several waitresses being startled the first time I spoke. They thought I was a lady up until that moment.

My first time out we went to a restuarant and my wife did much of the ordering. I tried to do a soft, quiet, breathy voice a la' Maralyn Monroe but usually it just makes them ask you to repeat yourself because they didn't hear it all.

If you've been practicing then you know some of the basics. Do your best for a soft voice and just try not to be too abrubt with your words. Drag the end of your sentance out a little and just try to be relaxed and natural as possible. Above all, enjoy yourself and try not to be too nervous. Things usually go well and people can be understanding even if they realize that you're transgendered. Being out in public is one of the most freeing experiences of my life and you could never stuff me back into that damn closet!!

Good Luck!

[PamelaTX]

I have absolutely no experience trying to sound feminine in public (yet), but I believe that almost everything about the way we speak, including the "natural register of our voice" is learned.

When I was in the service I was trained as a Vietnamese interpreter/translator. To speak Vietnamese correctly you must pitch your voice much higher than you normally would speaking English. There are African languages that have words that require you to drop the pitch of your voice while you are speaking them. The way you pitch your voice at the beginning of a sentence depends on how many of these words you plan to say. To speak French correctly you should pitch your voice a little higher, speak in a monotone, and drop your pitch at the end of the sentence. When Germans want you to know that what they are saying is important, they will drop their pitch as low as they can and speak a little louder. (It sounds really weird the first time you hear it.)

The way you learn to speak a new language is to converse with native speakers, listen carefully to what they say and how they say it, an then "make the same sounds." I think the same approach would work with developing a feminine voice.

[MJ]

passing is so overrated to be honest vary few can do so. all i have done is soften my voice a little. it's how you carry yourself that counts

[Ellen Ross]

.... And Tami I just about log on here almost everyday to read what you've had say. Girl I don't know you but I think you make all of us girls feel like we are all sisters. I admire you soo much!!!

-Jamie

I agree. Thanks Tami!

[deja true]

MJ's right, it's mosty about how you carry yourself...

And Pamela's right, too...the best lessons come from paying attention to "native speakers", in this case real women.

And they're all right! You'e probably not as low in tone as you think.

But emulating "gay speech"? Nah! The stereotypical flaming gay speech style is not how real women speak. For that matter, neither do gay people, by and large, unless they wanna make a point. And usually a sarcastic one.

In my experience, try this in your exercises: to speak more from your throat rather than you upper chest (the way deep voiced and louder males do), tilt your head way back so you're looking at the ceiling. This helps raise the pitch of your voice. See how that feels.

Now when you put your head back down, retain that method of throat speaking rather than reverting to chest speaking.

Listen for the nuances of womens speech, in intonation, in vocabulary use and in forms of address. For instance, a woman very seldom says "I want..." or "I need..." but more often would say "I would like...". Not so direct and aggressive, see?

And practice, practice practice. When I'm driving, I'm constantly chattering to myself, reading road signs, giving myself directions, telling jokes....

Leave yourself voice messages on your phone!

Have fun, hunny!

:D

[LindaTS]

After a lengthy dry spell I started going out again a few years ago. I thought I'd just walk around the mall to see how I made out. No funny looks so I went into Sears just to look. In the lingerie section I found a panty/bra set that I wanted so I took it to the checkout counter and just my luck the SA wanted to talk about everything. To make matters worse, there were a couple of ladies right behind me. I just tried to soften my voice a little and everything went well. I have to say I was a little nervous during all of this. I also shop in several Wal-Marts and one in particular has a SA that I've gone to quite often. She's always talking and to my knowledge she doesn't know. And if she does she has no reaction, one way or the other. It's a lot easier than you may imagine.

[Angie G]

I've only benn out on Halloween And my wife is the only one who knows I dress alot I used and use my man voice. :hugs:
Angie

[Jocelyn Renee]

When I first started going out in public my attempts at effecting a female voice were comical, at best, so I just went with my normal voice. When I began doing more customer service related phone work in our business I noticed that many people were mistaking me for female on the phone and my wife commented that my phone voice is distinctly different from my normal speech patterns.The best way I know to describe the difference is that I try to inject a smile into my speech, speaking slower and in a more sing-song manner. As was already mentioned, I also alter my phrasing, choosing "May I have..." over "I want...".

When I was consciously trying to raise the pitch of my voice I would often see that confused look from others as the voice did not match my perceived gender. Today most of my public time is spent running errands/shopping - situations that require me to talk to strangers. Using my "phone voice" and speaking with confidence and a smile has eliminated that problem.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I have gone out en-femme hundreds of times and never really put much effort into my voice. I have tried to tone it down a bit but I agree with others that it only matters to you, and don't put too much worry into "passing vocally".

[Rachel Morley]

Did you try to make your voice as feminine as possible? Did you use an accent? Did you try to whisper?
The first thing to remember is that the person you are speaking with has never heard your voice before so although your voice sounds weird and different to you, it doesn't sound that way to them because they have nothing to compare it against. I am a British person living in the US so I have an accent anyway. I find this helps quite a bit as people are "noticing the difference" anyway so if my voice "isn't quite right" then I get more leeway (I hope?). When I go out en femme I'm almost always with my wife. She has a confident and assertive manner about her anyway, so it's natural for her to be the one who "does the talking". Like say, if we are going to the movies then she buys the tickets for both of us. However, I do order for myself in restaurants and such.

What I try to do is slightly "lift my voice into my mouth" instead of it coming from my throat. It sounds "lighter" but not exactly feminine. I also slow down my speaking and pause mid sentence sometimes. I find I listen to my wife's speech patterns and I try to copy them, although I'm still struggling to maintain good results in this area. I keep my talking to a minimum, but when I do speak I try to smile a lot and make eye contact when interacting with people. Add to this my general mannerisms and body language, I guess it must be "good enough" that (so far) no one seems to have been offended or given me any weird or disgusted looks. I'm sure they know what's really going on but I guess I must be "close enough" that they are comfortable enough to go along with it all, or at least enough that they treat me ok.


Part two, how does your SO for those that have approving SO's, react to your "different" voice? was it too much? Do you talk in your normal voice still around your SO or do you get in girl mode 100%.
My wife has been encouraging me to practice as often as I can. I usually "talk to myself" as I drive to work. I also use a voice recorder to see how it sounds and it always sound more masculine on the recorder than I hear in my head :sad: I'm gonna be honest and say that at home when it's just the two of us or when her son is around I do speak in my guy voice. When we go out to a social at our TG group, or whatever, I do use my girl voice from the moment I get in the car onwards. However, our group is such a friendly bunch that I tend to relax and have a great time before, during, and after dinner at socials and parties and it's quite normal for me to be having so much un that I "forget" that I'm supposed to be using my femme voice and I'll catch myself using my guy voice when I'm talking ... especially if I am talking about a serious subject or something more in depth or whatever ... oh well, never mind. I do the best I can :)