CD's not Understand or Accepting

[kayla_cd_va]

Hello,

I am a 44 year old crossdresser. Crossdressing sexually excites me and I only dress when I'm having sex. Going out sometime dressed en femme is somewhat exciting to me but if I did do that it would only be for the thrill of having men look at me in a sexual way. I feel so sissy and fem when dressed, almost like I'm another person. Having a mans hands on me and knowing that I am exciting him is a thrill as is the soft stockings on my legs. I don't want to get political or advance a cause that everyone should accept crossdressers or bi sexual people. It doesn't matter if socitey doesn't accept me, I do. Some crossdressers talk down to me because they insist that crossdressing isn't about sex. Maybe it isn't to them but it is to me. For a group that is suppose to celebrate free thoughts and speech some CD are closed minded. Anyone have a similar experience.

Kayla

[TeriAnn]

When I first started dressing I did the same thing I would get dressed up do what I needed to do and put it all away until the next time. That is until I decided to stay dressed after and I found out that the feeling I was having wasn't from the sex part it was the feeling of truly feeling as a female.
I have since dressed for the pleasure of being myself and not the sexual aspect of it. In my way of thinking crossdressing has nothing to do with sex in any way. I just love the feel of the clothes and the high heels and the over all great feeling of being female.:2c:

[emmicd]

To me crossdressing is more about feeling like a girl and wearing pretty clothes. I never did it for sexual reasons but can understand that for some sex is a big part of it.

For me it's simply about the clothes and feeling more comfortable in them!

emmi

[Charlena]

The first time I fully dressed entirely. I realized that is I felt so natural and did not want to be noticed by anyone. I just wanted to experience the world from my female side with my wife. sex did not really enter my thoughts other than kisses or cuddles. I really feel that I am another person. Go for it, just be responsible, respect others, and be safe. Peace... I',m a 49 year old ...another of society's label "Hippie" Take care Kayla.

[Jenna Lynne]

I'm pretty sure there's a whole rainbow of feelings about this. And some of us may skootch around to different places in the spectrum from year to year.

For me, it wasn't about sex when I was 8 or 10 or 12 or 14 years old, because I had no idea what sex was all about! Once I figured out that part, yeah, it's definitely been about sex, ever since.

But it's also about personal identity. I can go for hours and be very feminine without being sexually aroused, unless that sort of amorphous global glow counts as arousal.

I'm pretty sure that personal identity and sex are closely linked for most people, not just crossdressers. I mean, a guy down at the gym who is working out his pecs and abs and whatever silly tissue he's tormenting -- it's a personal identity thing for him, but I'll bet it helps him feel more manly, and thus more sexual.

Bottom line, though -- I don't think it's possible to generalize about whether CDing is about the sexual turn-on. Each of us gets to experience whatever we experience in that department. And as long as we're not hurting anyone, no one has the right to judge us.

***Jenna Lynne***

[SamanthaLVCD]

Hi, Samantha here. There is a thin line between the whole sexual and nonsexual debate. As a young person it was all about getting off (if you know what I mean). Finally in my 40's I got the chance to actually go out. It was thrilling but the sexual thing was still there. That was until a male got quite friendly with me in a bar one night. He asked me to go back to his motel room with him. Shaking with fear, I did. He treated me like a woman and we both were quite satisfied. I redressed and left thinking that the experience and thrill was all over since I had had my climax. But it didn't. It was still just as exciting to be dressed and out in public even without that sexual desire. Now I wasn't horny and still wanted to be dressed and out having fun. I stayed out the rest of the night. When I got home I did not want to get undressed. It was not the sex part after all, it was being my true self, at least the female side of me anyway. Getting back into male mood was a real drag and I wanted to avoid it as long as possible. After a couple of more "experiences" I have found that sex is optional. I am just as happy to set at a bar and play video poker while having a drink or two, as I am to have an mans attention. I believe that the sex part gets imprinted on us during puberty. This is the time when we become sexually aware and we confuse our desire to be female with our desire to have sex. If you are anything like me, I started at about 6 years old. I did not even know what sex was, let alone understand it. Each of us is different. None of us will act the same way like we were molded into a specific form. Transgender is a sliding scale. At the bottom of the scale is the nontransgender male who has no interest in crossdressing. There are men who just like stocking, panties or some particular article of clothing. It gets gradually more involved the higher one moves up the scale. At the top are the Transexuals that want SRS as they feel that they are really a woman in a male body and seek to resolve the conflict. It is not fair to criticize anyone on the scale whether they are above you or below you on the scale. They are individual. SEX is optional. There ARE straight crossdressers that wouldn't consider having sex with a man. There are persons like myself that are bi-sexual. I enjoy sex with either a man or a woman. An there also are those that are exclusively homosexual or gay that do not wish to have SRS. Why should we look down on anyone for their individual preferences or feelings. I played the "hide it at all costs" game for the majority of my life. I took macho and dangerous jobs to prove to the world that I was a "real man". Not until my late forty's did I finally accept me for being me. If I had an internet and the information that I now possess when I was a teen, my life would have taken a much different course. Nothing that I can do about that now except wonder "what if" and think of what I could have done if I had only known. So the best that I can do now is to advise the younger generations to be themselves. If you are transgendered, you know it. Do not spend your time denying it to yourself at least. When you finally get the courage to tell the world that you are who you are, it will be a great burden off of you. The earlier the better I would have to say. Do not create a false image of yourself, as I did, to please the rest of the world or your family. If they do not accept you as you are, it is their loss. Your peace of mind will be its own reward. God don't make no junk my fellow friends. You are who you are for a reason.

[Samantha B L]

Hey There Kayla, I'm not gay or bi but I'll fess up I find crossdressing to be really creamy. But some sisters do it for reasons other than sexual. They are very fascinated with things fem or they kind of take pride in being able to successfully present themselves as female in public or to freinds and they find this stimulating and challenging. Or you could say it's narcisisstic but really there's nothing the matter with that. As for me my freinds tell me that I don't look like a woman(blunt language telling me I'm not passable)so I satisfy myself by looking like someone who's obviously m to f TG/TS/CD yet pretty enough. One of these years though I'm gonna get a CD makover!
But I've got to say,Kayla,that to some extent crossdressing is about sex.

[Alice Torn]

The time i finally first got fully dressed, I had those feelings, too, of feeling how nice it would be, to have men wanting me, to touch me, ravish me, and want to dance, then, do more. I even sent pics of me, to my lawyer friend, who is single! I also got dolled up, and walked around several towns, and had a number of car horns honk, and things shouted at me. When dressed up, i often feel what you experience. But, like others said, after letting it out, I don't feel the desire for men to notice, as much. When in guy mode, I desire a gg, which has been unattainable, so far, in my life. It seems impossible, to find a date with a gg! All the gg's near my age, have "been there, done that", had their fill of men, say they will not date again. Dressed up, as lovely lady, I have had almost uncontrollable fantasies, of being desirable to a man. Maybe part of it, is from the incessant rejection, by gg's, feeling that women will never desire us as men, but dolled up, some men would put the moves on us cd ladies! Thanks for the post.

[docrobbysherry]

When it occurred to me to try on ladies clothes, at age 50+, about 10 years ago, it was COMPLETELY about sex! I'd try to watch TV wearing nylons and heels. Just looking at, and feeling my legs, got me SO turned on, I couldn't watch anything!

10 years later, I often walk around the house completely dressed. Or in complete foundation gear, and with everything else, but a dress on. I'm not turned on the same way I was, but I ALWAYS have a heightened sexual awareness when I'm dressed.
I conclude EVERY dressing session with sex. So, it's still mostly about sex for me.

[teresa jeen]

i guess sometimes its more for the thrill of it all and sometimes for the acceptance. when in guy mode i feel that i have to prove myself(macho) but when fem mode i just have to be me. id much rather be me than he.

[Jaclyn NM]

I think that initially it was totally a sexual turn on for me to wear female clothes, and to some extent it still is, but as I have aged and matured, and actually been able to dress for extended periods of time, it has become much more. I actually just enjoy being dressed in female clothing, with no sex being related to it. But for some reason, I still have a soft spot for stockings and high heels.

[darla_g]

i get you! yes it can be a turn on at times. when i was first dressing the mere act of putting on stockings was almost tooo much to take. Over time it maybe becomes more normal and it doesn't elicit such strong feelings. But it can ..... and I don't think there's anything wrong with it. No one else can tell you how you feel or are supposed to fell.

[IMJenn]

For me its partially sexual. I have always wanted to try being a lesbian(my ex never would try it), but mostly I just like being a girl. So for me its not the sex...

But to each her own. I don't understand those who think their way is the only way...

[CD Susan]

When I was in my 20's cd'ing was a sexual thing for me. After the sex part was over the clothes would come off and get put away. Over the years I gradually changed into felling good about wearing the clothes without the sexual arousal. Now I am dressed almost all of the time and sex has nothing to do with my dressing. It is all about how feminine I feel and appear when I look in the mirror. All I want to do now is go out some place and present myself to others in a manner that is tasteful and accepted.

[trannie T]

There are not two of us alike. We all dress differently and for different reasons. There may be an evolution of a person's crossdressing as I too am another one who has dressed initially for sexual pleasure then evolved into dressing for a form of personal satisfaction.

[boy2girl31]

The fact that anyone would look down on you is to me an enigma. We are all labeled as being different and if we can't see each other as equals without discrimination then we are short-sighted indeed. Do what feels right for you and don't worry about what others think.