What makes you think

[Kayla Shadows]

What are the things that make you change,reinvent yourself and further this journey?

I always keep in my mind that we are here for today.Seeing the sun come up tomarrow is something that is not promised to us.All the people that were here and gone in our lives cant be changed.Maybe they were just here to leave something with us and their part in our life is finished.Fear holding me back from being the person I want to be is erased through the realization that when one door closes,another one opens.The ones who truly love us recognize the fact that who we are as a individual is something special.They don't have to agree but the words "I dont care,your still you" have separated friend and not in my mind.Those Ive come out to,and taking in the reactions,has set a idea of who I think is real.Honasty comes first and this begins the road to where I want to be with those closest.If I'm honast with myself,there is no stopping my direction.

I know that not everyone wants out of the closet and that's fine.Your thoughts are welcome too.I know some see going out as stupid or dangerous but being me cant be confined to my home.Its all in who you are.Just like how some people would move away from the sound of gunshots and a policeman or woman runs towards them.Fear isn't allowed to stop you from doing your job.My job is to make sure I'm being true to myself and to the fullest with no exceptions..

This was a quote under my yearbook picture in 96' so you can see where my minds been at:

"Those people who tell you not to take chances
They are all missing on what life is about
You only live once so take hold of the chance
Don't end up like others the same song and dance" --James Hetfield


Thank you for reading :)

[Karren H]

Cool.... I think I've reinvented myself so many times that I'm starting to revisit reinventions... lol

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Well that's some heavy and perhaps complicate thoughts to express...but here goes...

Life is a journey and we are all given that opportunity simply by being born...there is with life as with everything else in the "Grand Plan" a beginign and an end to this journey....some have only a very brief journey and it ends. We ask why so short and it's a reminder for us who continue on not to take this journey for granted but to make the most of it...to reach out and embrace all that comes to us during this path we travel and to seize those opportunities as they come along.

This journey also brings with it "many signs and forks in the road" as we travel along and they become "choices" and depending on what we choose we then take different paths which gives us different experiences. There are many who travel along the paths we travel along and they to have choices and that's why very few of us every have someone along with us from out start to our finish...for they have their own paths to travel that may or may not be similar to ours....those who have reached out and touched our souls have given us a certain noushishment for us to carry along on our journey and when we need noushishment for the soul we take this subtance and feed on it as an inspiration for us to continue and fuel our needs to overcome difficulties...that is their gift to us....

In the end this journey is made up of three parts and they are the mind, the body and the spirit and each one of these enities make up the sum of who we are and what we are....and that makes us uniquly human...


In the end we all reach the same destination...it's what we've collected, received, grown, evolved and have become that determines our success at this thing they call living....

In the end one must realize that only if he is true to himself can he flly experiences all the riches of life that is out there....and in the end when the time comes to cross over into another realm can with do so with true peace of the heart....

That's my belief....and this is how I try to live my life....

Steph

[debbeelee1]

Some pretty deep stuff here, but you're right, live for the day! I'd hate to die today bored to death, but a zillion dollars in the bank. When I'm on my deathbed, I'd like to be able to say "I'm done and I've done all I wanted to". I have a neighbor and I'm sure if he was on his deathbed, he'd say "Gee, I wish I would have worked out in my yard even more than I have!"! I guess it's all relative!

[deja true]

Some of us come to this realization early...and some,unfortunately come to it later in life.

No reason for regret though, if we think we missed out on years of living the life we want. For time is relative, aint it? We know that from those days when every day sitting in a class room feltl ike a year . And we later come to see that those later years pass like hours.

So, if we start to live for ourselves we can fill those last hours with days and days of experiences and adventures.

That's what I'm gonna do!

[Zenith]

What's that quote?

"A ship is safe in a port...but that's not what ships were built for..."

:hugs:

[Aurora27]

"A ship is safe in a port...but that's not what ships were built for..."

:hugs:

Wow, I really like that :)


What makes me think and reinvent myself?

Thats an interesting question, because you never really feel like someone new do you? you always feel like yourself, but looking back down the years it can seem like we were entirely different people living different lives. I don't really feel like I 'reinvent' myself, its more like we are born with a thousand and one choices for how to live life and we can pick, say, six, and I am slowly eliminating choices by experiencing them until I settle somewhere close to my preferred way of life.

Its not so much that I'm travelling towards who I am, but travelling away from who I'm not.

[Rachel Morley]

Yes I agree Kayla: "Seeing the sun come up tomorrow is something that is not promised to us."

Not all of us get to live to old age. It's a privilege denied to many. When it's all over and we are on our death beds and we look back on our lives, no one is going to be thinking "how big is my house?" or "how much money is in my back account?", or "what a great car I own" they are all going to be thinking "what did I do with my time here?"

I like that quote (I forget who said it) "it's better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't done" .... because if you're on your death bed it'll be too late for regrets of not doing something!

Your question: "What are the things that make you change, reinvent yourself and further this journey?"

Well, not knowing how long we have got is obviously a big one. One day all of this (whatever you have in your life) will be gone. Focusing on the present and sharing the joys of life with my wife is my main thing. My job is just a means to an end. Every time I get all stressed out with the daily issues of life, I try to remind myself that all that crap is totally meaningless. Not one thing is important because it's all going to end one day anyway ... the physical world will be gone. Then my spirit/soul will be the only thing left ... and where that ends up I can't change. I live my life, do all the things I can to make myself and my wife happy, and hope that I have enough time to experience and enjoy our CDing and non CDing lives together in the way we want to ... no matter how long or short that time might be. I pray to God that when the time comes, we go together, not big distances apart.

[Alice B]

I don't think I want to reinvent myself or really change who I am. But, I do want to get better at presenting myself (even if it is only to myself or my wife) and what makes me think the most are the posts on this forum. The way others dress, do make up, deal with going out and deal with their dressing all help me to be a better Alice.

[bah-bah-bobbie]

I have never reinvented myself. But I have avoided resisting change. Who I am now is alot different than who I was five years ago. I only realized that in reflection and not as it happened because it was so gradual.

As for adventure, I had alot of them in my younger years. Unfortunatly I was too stoned to remember most of them. Now days adventure takes time I don't have but maybe, hopefuly later I can do something. Not something that the world will remember, or something that can be appreciated by the masses, but something nonetheless.

It's kind of funny this subject comes up now. Just two or three days ago I was trying to figure out how I will have to arange schedules with my job so I can continue my educational pursuit. How much longer do I have to do this? Is it worth it? Employers like to have some youth to recently graduated new-hires. What will they think of me? Then I thought how much time I have for my kids now and what will I have next semester. How is this affecting them? Am I really doing the right thing? A time will come I will be nothing more to my children than a memory . What will that memory be?

[Kayla Shadows]

Thank you all very much for responding.I just wanted to see what goes on in everybodys mind.There are things in life that change us or things we want to change which bring about who we are.Coming to a point when you get tired of liveing by whats expected of you and take a stand for yourself.To see past the hatred and intolerance out there and evolve into the person you see yourself as.I mean,when your gone,did someones sexuality or way of life really matter because it was not your path?I refuse to follow the "guidelines" of what is supposed to be "normal" created by people who just do not understand that everyone is different and thats ok.

On a different level,my father past in july and so far things are getting better mentally.There are all different types of things we all go through.Some much worse than others.Things you dont recover from quite so easily.Maybe never.And trying to find your old self under there may be hard.Then its dig deep or throw it away and recreate from the ashes.
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Karren Hutton : Cool.... I think I've reinvented myself so many times that I'm starting to revisit reinventions... lol

:) Lol,that was great.I hear ya'

Zenith : "A ship is safe in a port...but that's not what ships were built for..."

:) I couldnt agree more

deja true :
So, if we start to live for ourselves we can fill those last hours with days and days of experiences and adventures.

That's what I'm gonna do!

:) And thats what its all about deja

[Carin]

Amongst other things...

Threads like this. Great thoughts here to think about.

Thank you for posting :hugs:

[tamarav]

I have re-invented myslef so many times I forgot where I started, I even lost the pictures.

I do plan on dying on the dance floor in 5 inch heels.

[Kate Simmons]

Hmm, I just basically realized you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, so I decided to just be myself when en femme. I think most people appreciate that, especially when you are not trying to pass yourself off as something or someone you are really not.:)

[Veronica Lacey]

I tend to believe that personal boundaries are constructed and broken down daily by ourselves and no one else. Certainly the blueprints take into consideration the world around us and those who step in and out of our lives but ultimately we hold council to all our decisions and bare the fruits and gristle that comes from this process.

I quietly rejoice when I witness that others have the desire, strength and ability to step out in the manner which they see fit, "damning the torpedos" and living as they choose to. That is fantastic! On many a night I have personally dreamed of such a moment yet know that I choose not to for my own reasons.

Designing and constructing my own armoire for my en femme collection has been my "coming out" as it were. To store my items in proper fashion out in the open - rather than hiding them away in a cardboard box - has been very liberating and has been accepted by my wife. At the very least I can sit and choose what to wear in my private moments just as anyone else might even if the clothing never sees true daylight. In my mind I am walking the satin streets of freedom.

Nice post, Kayla(DD's Girl). Something perhaps we all think about.

Veronica L

[Sarah Doepner]

Good question. It seems that rather than think and develop new plans or reinvent myself, mostly I react. I have only a small bit of control over but lots of responsibilty in my life. I can't control that my wife has cancer and so I react by making sure she gets the treatment and support she needs while going through this challenge. I can't control the economy that forced me to retire a couple of years early, so I react by getting my finances under control.
I can't seem to control the part of my personality that benefits from crossdressing, so I do the best I can to make it happen and do the best job I can.
I tend to end up thinking about motivation only after I've come up with a plan that responds to something else I couldn't control in the first place, but have to fix in the end. Damn, I think I need a new lip liner pencil. That's about as far as it goes most of the time.

[Kayla Shadows]

Thank you.Sometimes we don't think about it too much but just react like Sara says.Some of it doesn't require too much thought that second that you know what you want.The rest is history.We change with what the world throws at us and hopefully get closer with our soul.Letting whats inside be shown..There are boundaries we create and break down by ourselves like Veronica said.

**Tamarav: "I have re-invented myself so many times I forgot where I started, I even lost the pictures.

I do plan on dying on the dance floor in 5 inch heels."**

I can understand that Tamarav.I chose the word journey because it seemed fitting that there is a start and end.They say that life isn't about finding your,its about createing yourself.And with being yourself 100% of the time,it shows your individuality which opens up creativity,inspiration to others and a place which is your destiny.All someone needs is that one spark of inspiration to start a fire.Something that manifests inside you and makes you feel awake instead of like your sleeping through life.The first step towards evolution is revolution...in my mind.

[deja true]

The first step towards evolution is revolution...in my mind.

Viva La Evolution!

Progress for the mind, spirit and body!

[docrobbysherry]

Going out dressed?
And "reinventing yourself"?

I'm sorry. I just don't see how those two r related! U can reinvent yourself daily, if u need/want to. As has been said. Or never!

And u can appear in public dressed, and hurt/embarrass the ones u love! What does that have to do with "reinventing yourself?

Robert hasn't changed much in 50+ years. Sherry changes almost monthly!
So what?

Does being who "u really r" mean "reinventing yourself"? And does it mean u must hurt those u care about most?

I'm I missing something here?:eek:

[charlie]

I believe that the changes are ones we allow ourselves to do. We don't stop because it is a bit uncomfortable or a bit dangerous. We start dressing and at first it is so hot it is sexual. Then we dress and try to be as feminine as possible. The dressing becomes less sensual and more the feminine ME. Then we change and dress and go out. The feminine me goes out and meets others and interacts with others. Many here go and tell their loved ones that this is part of them. In doing so they get a changed relationship (for better or worse). All this change is starting to sound like a Obama speech! This has been my evolution ...my feminine changing self.

[Kayla Shadows]

Going out dressed?
And "reinventing yourself"?

I'm sorry. I just don't see how those two r related! U can reinvent yourself daily, if u need/want to. As has been said. Or never!

And u can appear in public dressed, and hurt/embarrass the ones u love! What does that have to do with "reinventing yourself?

Robert hasn't changed much in 50+ years. Sherry changes almost monthly!
So what?

Does being who "u really r" mean "reinventing yourself"? And does it mean u must hurt those u care about most?

I'm I missing something here?:eek:

First,you answered a question with questions.I asked a question and then gave my story.

And apples and oranges are both fruit so there is a similarity right there.

Something is missing because you have me lost.The natural process of the minds evolution and the clothes somebody has on are two different things O.o There are a lot of deep changes that happen in certain aspects of life.Physcological and emotional occurances that create a internal war.And beyond crossdressing I speak of.If you havnt been there,you cant understand.Those of us who have been will never forget.

Appearing in public dressed and hurting people is not reinventing yourself.Being who "u really are" and reinventing yourself..the same?Only after the process.You dont know who you are until you get there.And ya know,ya just cant make everybody happy all the time.I cant be someone else to make the world happy.If I am such a embarrassment being who I am,then dont be around.This is MY path and no one has to agree.

"Robert hasn't changed much in 50+ years. Sherry changes almost monthly!So what? "

So what?So what is good for you.

[Tracii G]

I think evolution is a better term than reinvention.
We all evolve over time from one thing to another at different points in our lives.
Being true to yourself and the ones you care most about is paramount IMO.
Trying to please everyone or get them to accept for who you are is futile at best.Coming out just won't work for some due to the environment they live in.
I've learned over the years be yourself and don't worry about the general population other than your close freinds.
I have had a varied life grew up a normal kid thru HS played guitar in a band had lots of freinds.
The ARMY was a big awakening just out of HS.Boot camp and then on a plane for Viet Nam.
Ranger training was brutal in the states but over there the training was much harder.Very brutal indeed.3 years of living in the middle of Hell but it was my choice after the 1st year.
I was a very cold person to be around no real buddies other than my unit.
I think back sometimes about sitting 20 feet away from the enemy for hours waiting for him to fall asleep so I could cut his throat that was a thrill for me at 19 years old.
I do think there is a reason we are where we are at any given moment and we have the ability to choose the right or wrong path.
Making the right choice can be very difficult sometimes.
I say make yourself happy be true to yourself and do what feels right.

[Kayla Shadows]

Hey Huntress. Were just glad your alive. I'm very happy to hear your back in the saddle. Things happen for whatever reasons that we can't control and sometimes they really suck. All we can hope for is to make it through and get back on our feet again.You came out of this once again and it is truly wonderful.


I understand what your saying Tracii. Evolution could be a better word to use. I thought reinvention could be used as word to describe self created changes that come about through experiences. I saw in a way that createing turns into evolution. Action,reaction,result.Like what caused someones thought process to change which made them develope.

[Tracii G]

I guess a self-creating change rather than a forced change in personality recreation is a suitable term.
Really the Q is a very good one deep reflective and well worth a thread.
Having to exsist as some thing/someone you are not would be very hard if you are not happy with the situation.
I was trained to "shut off" things like guilt ,pain,remorse.Envronmental things like extreme heat or cold and basically be a being that kills things.
My life is so different now I actually listen to people when they speak and try to fully understand how they feel.Hell if a cricket comes into the house I take it back outside before my cats get a hold of it.
Each person here has a special gift to be more than one person I thing that in itself is amazing.
There are lots of very deep thinkers and very compassionate people here and I applaude every each one.Using their heads for something other than a hat rack!

[bgirl]

This may seem like a strange answer, but what has caused me to reinvent myself the most is picking myself up off the floor, picking up the pieces, and giving it another try.
Going thru all the storms aand recovering and little by little, I learn to accept, to understand, even to nourish. Some day I may even prosper!
But as you say we only have today. Today I am some-where in the middle of what has proven to be a long, difficult journey. I am neither here nor there, where ever there is!
Today I am most content to be spending some time with all of you, my sisters, and so far, the only people that know are long the journey can be.

[Cathytg]

Many times I hear that we are all about the journey; not about the destination. Have you ever tried to get "there"? It can't be done because you are always "here", and so it is true that all we own is the present moment.

However,I am responsible for the conduct of my own journey. And, really, how can I possibly embark upon and maintain a journey if I have no goal or end point? The object isn't so much to reach that end point as it is to keep moving toward it. I can't even guess how many times I have been forced to find alternate routing when driving somewhere but that does not (usually) change my goal for the ride. Thus, I adjust and adapt as I journey; you can call it evolve or change, it doesn't matter. My point is that there will be a tomorrow even if I am not privileged to see it. True, I live in the moment, but I have to move in the direction of the future. To simply stand still is to stop living.

[Kayla Shadows]

I guess a self-creating change rather than a forced change in personality recreation is a suitable term.
Really the Q is a very good one deep reflective and well worth a thread.
Having to exsist as some thing/someone you are not would be very hard if you are not happy with the situation.
I was trained to "shut off" things like guilt ,pain,remorse.Envronmental things like extreme heat or cold and basically be a being that kills things.
My life is so different now I actually listen to people when they speak and try to fully understand how they feel.Hell if a cricket comes into the house I take it back outside before my cats get a hold of it.
Each person here has a special gift to be more than one person I thing that in itself is amazing.
There are lots of very deep thinkers and very compassionate people here and I applaude every each one.Using their heads for something other than a hat rack!

I've been in situations before where I couldnt be myself and your right,it is very hard.It was not a way to live for me.

I agree,many special people and thinkers are here on this site.Seeing that there are gray areas and everything isnt just black and white is indeed a special gift.

Im not here to tell anyone how to live their life or what to do.Thats a point I want o get across and understood.I give my views,thoughts and opinions with the intent of only showing what my mind thinks.I believe in choice and try not to impose my way of life.At the end of a post,the words on the screen are only there to provoke thought.They are tools not rules.



This may seem like a strange answer, but what has caused me to reinvent myself the most is picking myself up off the floor, picking up the pieces, and giving it another try.
Going thru all the storms aand recovering and little by little, I learn to accept, to understand, even to nourish. Some day I may even prosper!
But as you say we only have today. Today I am some-where in the middle of what has proven to be a long, difficult journey. I am neither here nor there, where ever there is!
Today I am most content to be spending some time with all of you, my sisters, and so far, the only people that know are long the journey can be.

Its not a strange answer at all.There are ups and downs in lifs and sometimes the cycle is vicious.Sometimes the rain that these storms bring can be very heavy and lasting.It deffinately can be a difficult journey.And speaking for myself...about reinventing yourself after picking yourself off the floor...sometimes the pieces dont fit quite the same...or are just missing..or just plain lost.Seeing your eyes in the mirror,you dont even know who you are anymore.The only feeling is...nothing.Its kind of a scary place.Not much makes you happy and sometimes you couldnt care less.All you can do is ride it out and hope it changes.


Many times I hear that we are all about the journey; not about the destination. Have you ever tried to get "there"? It can't be done because you are always "here", and so it is true that all we own is the present moment.

However,I am responsible for the conduct of my own journey. And, really, how can I possibly embark upon and maintain a journey if I have no goal or end point? The object isn't so much to reach that end point as it is to keep moving toward it. I can't even guess how many times I have been forced to find alternate routing when driving somewhere but that does not (usually) change my goal for the ride. Thus, I adjust and adapt as I journey; you can call it evolve or change, it doesn't matter. My point is that there will be a tomorrow even if I am not privileged to see it. True, I live in the moment, but I have to move in the direction of the future. To simply stand still is to stop living.


"so it is true that all we own is the present moment." Absolutely.We are here for this moment.Its what we do with this moment that counts.Having goals is very good.Standing still does not feel like I would be takeing advantange of whatever time I have.Right now I dont think Im reaching toward a end of something as much as Im taking control of what is going on now.The past is gone,the future doesnt exist yet,but the moment is here.And we must move forward in our own way with whatever and wherever happiness is.You can find the path but there may very well be forks and obstructions which we have to deal with.I feel without these obstacles,you wouldnt have a chance to see what your really made of.Sometimes the easy way isnt the best way.

[mishelle379]

I found out who my true friends are when I came out

[Patrice]

I dont look at what I do as reinventing myself, more like reverse-engineering. Im a natural-born cog, a gear in the machine, one monkey-with-a-typewriter among billions - a true natural follower, not an alpha bone in my body. I spent the majority of my 38 years putting the needs of others above my own, seeing to their wants, ensuring their well-being and survival until I died a sort of ego-death, Its a very frigtening thing to look into a mirror and realize theres no one looking back at you. It took true friendship offered unexpectedly from 2 different fronts at once to stir me from that pit, to drive into my head that the only one I HAD to take responsibility for, please, or answer to was me. Now Im rebuilding my self-identity and one of my tools is cross-dressing. I have chosen to look beyond all barriers and taboos and pick-and choose the pieces that make me happy and use them as guidepoints til my inner GPS directs me to 'me'.

Id better stop torturing metaphors before someone sics Amnesty International on me, I think you see what Im trying to say:D

Final Thought, on my path I did come across the MEANING OF LIFE - simply put, the Answer is the Question. Think about it.

[Tracii G]

I agree somewhat P the brain does operate in alpha,beta,theta waves.
I have been tested many times and fall into alpha which is a good thing which means my brain stays active.
Most people operate in alpha and beta but some are continually in beta and stay deperssed quite a bit which is sad.The orientals put it this way people in continual beta are like the walking dead living from day to day miserable.
Its good to free your mind, expand your horizons, try new things and be happy in who you are.
The human mind is a very powerful tool and learning how to harness it is an ongoing quest of mine.
I am working with a native American freind who has taught me how to deal with everyday life and let my own internal "energy" guide my life.
He has helped me push a lot of bad energy out of my system.
Life is energy dark or light.
Do what works best for you.

[ReineD]

What are the things that make you change,reinvent yourself and further this journey?

For me, it was losing everything I thought I had and discovering that my life had been an illusion. Twice. I am hopeful that the second time will prove to be as beneficial as the first.

[bah-bah-bobbie]

....I spent the majority of my ... years putting the needs of others above my own, seeing to their wants, ensuring their well-being and survival until I died a sort of ego-death....

I was the same way. Takign care of others and noone was taking care of me, including me. So one day I found myself with a "fend for yourself. If I can do it, you can do it" attitude. It was not a conscious decision, I just got too tired to care anymore. Is that a type of reinvention or is it evolution? To me reinventing oneself is waking up one morning and saying out loud "time for a change". I see that being different from asking your self "what hapens if I try......" "well that did/did not work, how about I try.....", untill we get to a point and say "yes. I like this. I'm gonna stick with it". Then look at ourselves and ask "whoa. what happened to the me that was here (whenever)"? It's an ever changing world and to survive we must adapt and change with it even though eventually our efforts will prove fruitless. How can we continue to change and still be true to ourselves when most of us are not who we were ten years ago. I guess it's doubt about who I was, who I am, who I'm going to be, and which one is real. I don't think I'm phrasing that right but with lack of sleep I'm not really thinking period. I hope someone gets the jist of what I am trying to say.