Tried the shirt instead of the jeans

[wendy68]

Ive only been recently going out and rarely does anyone talk to me. On saturday nights I take a trip to some store to get a few things that I need or dont necessarily need. Either people look at me with a smile or are silent.A few times two teen girls made a few comments to me but were nice. Last night I decided to go out in a skirt for the first time with tights and a fairly new pair of heels other than my usual jeans and flats. wow there was a major change. People in the store where giggling under their hands and when I got to the checkout a man and his wife were in front of me, the man never turned around and the wife was having trouble keeping her giggle under control. Once I got to the cashier she was also tickled but then said "Im sorry its just the shock". I just told her that it was no problem at all and went home. The nice thing about this evening was that even thought it was clear I didnt pass I still enjoyed just being out. Has any of girls here had simliar expierences.--wendy

[Roberta Marie]

Wendy,

I can't help but wonder if the skirt, tights and heels just attracted more attention. You don't often see women shopping dressed that way, especially in summer. Perhaps, whether you passed in jeans or not, you just didn't attract any attention, so you were read less often. With the skirt and heels, whether you passed or not, you probably did not blend in, so you were read more often.

Grace,
Bobbi

[wendy68]

Your right bobbi, After I got home I reminded my self of what girls tipically wear here. Its a small town and jeans are the norm. I just wanted to wear something different for a change while out.

[marie354]

I wear a skirt/top or a dress every day. I do, however dress my age. Usually the skirts are below my knees and a lot of the time to my ankles. Easy height 1.5-2 inch heels and my hair/nails/face all done up nicely.
I do have some more formal things for special times, but the skirts only go up mid thigh... And no low-cut tops. (Well not too low.)
I get some giggles from teen girls, but for the most part I'm given respect for who I am.
Tweens' don't usually giggle and some will question me about why I dress like a girl to which I try to answer them as honestly as I can.
I expect these things to happen, especially if I've been out 3-4 hours without a shave. (Unfortunately my facial hair grows fast. I usually have a razor in my purse, but finding an opportunity...)

Anyway, I wouldn't worry too much about it. You did have fun after all and that's what really counts.

[wendy68]

Yes I know what you mean sandra about the hair. I have to shave shortly before i go out or within a few hours its oh oh!--wendy

[Krista M]

hey wendy krista here
i know what you mean about no one talking to you
i to have this problem i have been hooked on these stretch flare leg jeans this week its the L.E.I. jeans (my wife bought them for me I KNOW but thats another story :heehee:)
anyway i wear them with a tee and tennis shoes (and things under ofcorse) and no one seems to notice or they do and just dont care or it creeps them out
i know i dont pass as a girl or maybe i do until i have to talk
sometimes i want attention and sometimes im scared of attention
and i know i cant spell :D

[Sara Jessica]

Hmmmm, seems to validate blending versus passing. In jeans, you blended with the other girls. Wearing something which isn't part of the fabric of society, well, you saw the result. Very interesting lesson to share!!!

[wendy68]

Hello to you Krista, I think its wonderful that your wife would buy you a pair of jeans. I just recently came out to my wife and although shes accepts me to a point, I dont envison her buying me clothes at this time. Luckily there are several thrift shops in my area so I can shop even on a tight budget. --wendy

[Krista M]

Hello to you Krista, I think its wonderful that your wife would buy you a pair of jeans. I just recently came out to my wife and although shes accepts me to a point, I dont envison her buying me clothes at this time. Luckily there are several thrift shops in my area so I can shop even on a tight budget. --wendy

my wife knows about my cd but shes not a big fan about it we have been together for 12 yrs
im a long haul driver and i dress when im gone and shes cool with that
but latly shes seems to be exepting it more she went with me last week and while we were gone i wasnt going to dress out of respect for her but day two into the trip she asked me why i wasnt waering my clothes and i said what do you maen and she says your girl clothes
so later after i changed she said i would make a pretty girl
and i was like WOW and all smiles (on the in side)on the outside i was like you think so i think i would make an ugly girl

[sissystephanie]

First of all, since my dear wife passed away 3 years ago I no longer try to "pass." I am not very good with makeup and terrible with a wig.

However, I am a CD and DO LIKE TO WEAR FEMININE CLOTHES! So I frequently go out dressed go out dressed completely feminine. And I go virtually everywhere! Sometimes in jeans, open toe sandals (with painted toes) and a top that shows off my 40 B's! But more often wearing a skirt, or skort, instead of jeans! Tonight I went out to dinner at a nice local restaurant wearing a knee length denim skirt, a pale blue scoop neck top, and white open toe sandals. Of course the necessary girl things underneath. Got a few "looks," and some giggles from other customers, but that is all. I have been to this place several times so the wait staff knows me, and how I dress!

I believe attitude is a key thing. If you act nervous, or embarrassed by the way you are dressed you will draw more attention. Another key thing, as has been expressed by others, is to dress appropriately for your age, where you live, and the weather! I walk into a place with the attitude that I am dressed the way I want to be, and don't care what others think. Because I really don't care!! See the first line of my second paragraph for explanation!!

Stephanie (formerly Sissy/Stephanie)

Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

[Rachel Morley]

Oh my gosh Wendy, you are my heroine! I am so sorry this happened to you but at the same time you are such a better woman than me as I know I would have had a real hard time being so nonchalant about being read and seemingly being laughed at. Yet you still enjoyed being out. :clap: I take my hat off to you!

Some folks (like me in the early stages of pushing the envelope) would have been so hurt and felt victimized that they couldn't go out again.

I do think that being read as a "guy" openly wearing women's clothes is different than being read as trying to pass as a woman full on. It's a really difficult and fine line that we don't talk as much about as I think we should.

I think that there must have been some other signals other than your skirt and tights that gave you away. Going out en femme in public in a skirt, tights and heels et al .. is THE most courageous thing anyone can do and in that context you passed with flying colors! :hugs:

[wendy68]

Thanks rachel for your kind words. Ive been leaving the house only for a short while now and its been great each time. I guess a reason why I ve decided to venture out is that Ive been tired of getting dressed all of these years and have gone nowhere. Something in me just snapped and said "time is not going to stop, start living the life you have" which meant to me enjoying all aspects of my life including wendy. thanks again and a pleasant evening to all the girls here--wendy:)

[tricia_uktv]

Yes, happens to me all the time. Jeans, no comments, actually I can get away with short skirts with leggings ot lacy tights. Something more outrageous and I get a load. Last week I wore a very short denim jumpsut with bare legs and got loads of comments. Sometimes however I like to attract the comments :)

[Butterfly Bill]

You might have gotten away better with just the skirt. What they found really incongruous was that AND the heels and the tights and that it was still summer and it was Saturday night in a place where women usually don't wear hose and heels. You might have been able to wear those on Sunday just after church time.

[Ellen Ross]

Oh my gosh Wendy, you are my heroine! ... I take my hat off to you!

...I do think that being read as a "guy" openly wearing women's clothes is different than being read as trying to pass as a woman full on. ... Going out en femme in public in a skirt, tights and heels et al .. is THE most courageous thing anyone can do ...


Well said Rachel!