I just made contact with my daughter who I haven't spoken to in 10 years...

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Scary....

E-mail and all not sure what to expect....very scary...just say a prayer for me. She told me her brother had cancer but nothing beyond that...not sure if it is my son or my step son...I'm not sure if this is going to be a good idea...I'm thinking maybe I did the wrong thing....

Fingers cross and maybe a prayer might help....

That should read in the title "daughter"....

POST NOTE: Any of you out there that have had similar situations like this if you want to give me some advice or guidence I'm ALL ears....

[Staci K]

Hello Sherrie-Stephanie...

Good for you for reaching out to your estranged daughter. Not sure of the reasons contact was broken off (I have my suspicions), but regardless of the reason life is too short to hold grudges.

Regardless of how your attempt to contact her is received, hold your head high that you at least tried to bridge the gap.

Again, good for you... There's no shame in trying.

Nicole
:hugs:

[gennee]

:praying:Sherry, I just finished saying a prayer for you. Keep me posted.

Gennee

[GypsyKaren]

Sherry, all you have to do is listen and then let your heart talk, and I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and wishes.

Karen Starlene :star:

And I fixed your title for you...

[Terry V]

We had the same situation with my daughter and when we finally got together I found that talking about the future and what we could make of it was the best way for me. I knew if we tried to talk about the past at that time we would have only opened old problems and there would be nothing to be gained, instead we talked about where we would like to go in our relationship and today we have a great friendship built on respect and love. Sherry that was 7 years ago and since then we have been able to talk about the past without regret.

[Zenith]

Take it a little at a time...our best thoughts for you...

:hugs:

[Nicole Erin]

You didn't do anything wrong by contacting her.
I imagine after 10 years, whatever happened is forgiven. No use in either one of you wasting more years on a grudge.

Even if you two still can't talk or get along, at least you tried. But now she needs to do her part and act like a woman and reconnect with you as well.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Divorce and a vendictive mother who was hell bent on driving a wedge between my kids and myself and my new wife...she succeeded plus a serious illness...in the MS/ALS family....long story....but it made the War of the Roses seem like a lovefest....

[TommiTN]

Steph, I had no idea! I pray it all goes well. To be separated from a loved one in that manner... I wouldn't have been able to bear it. Good for you for initiating contact!

[Claire3]

Ive had issues with one of my 2 daughters concerning no contact.I appreciate our circumstances may be differant,but,hey,shes your daughter.Dont miss out on sharing your life with her.its too short

[docrobbysherry]

We all wish u the best! And hope u and your kids can reconcile---------
EVERYTHING!:)

[Joy Carter]

We had the same situation with my daughter and when we finally got together I found that talking about the future and what we could make of it was the best way for me. I knew if we tried to talk about the past at that time we would have only opened old problems and there would be nothing to be gained, instead we talked about where we would like to go in our relationship and today we have a great friendship built on respect and love. Sherry that was 7 years ago and since then we have been able to talk about the past without regret.

I agree with Terry. Just get to know each other in the presant. The past is gone.

[LindaTS]

Hi Sherry-Stephanie,
I know exactly what you will be going through. My ex-wife, divorced about 35 years ago, drove that wedge between me and my kids. My son started trying to get things back to normal a few years ago and finally last year he and his wife made a trip to NY from GA. Needless to say I was very nervous about meeting him for the first time in 30 years. Everything went very well during the 3 days they spent with me and now we stay in constant touch. I'm so glad that he made the choice to try getting back together. I know I made a few attempts in the past few years and nothing seemed to work. My daughter is still basically still out of touch and I think it will remain like this because my ex-wife now lives with her. At least I now have my son back. Good luck hon, I'm sure it will be alright.

[DonnaT]

Good luck Sherry.

The only advice I can give is to keep any negativity you may harbor about your ex out of the conversations. Unless it's to agree with something your daughter may say. Let her know you love her, and always have.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Well got a couple of other e-mails from here today....nothing that I didn't expect or can't handle....

There was some talk from her about how I didn't provide for their support....LOL THAT wasn't the case and I have the cancelled checks to prove it...all totaled almsot a half a million....hardly would qualify for being left destitute....

Now if nothing else I am at peace with this all...I've had the opportunity to present my side of my story without trashing anyone...(mainly the "ex")...she (my daughter has it in black andwhite and she can sit down and let it all sink in and can reflex on my thoughts...that's all I really wanted was the chance to present my side...and it was very balanced...now it's up to her as far as what she wants to do...and I'm fine either way it goes....

My daughter is a JR. in college and she is majoring in Finance...

She seems to be balenced and doing OK....so I'm cool with this whole thing...I've wanted this opportunity for many years and had hoped to be able to do it some day and that day has come I was able to do it and now I move on..it will be her choice is she cares to stay in touch or not. She did give me her e-mail address and I'll give it a week or so to let things absorb in for her and then I'll drop a hello on her....

Thanks all for the advice....

[DonnaT]

So now she needs to figure out if she wants to confront her mother about the lies she's been told.

Hope it works out.

[AKAMichelle]

I'm thinking maybe I did the wrong thing....

Talking with your daughter is never the wrong thing to do. Family is all that we have. My mom told me as I grew up that blood is thicker than water. Work on your relationship.

You have a lot to offer her which she needs. Her father! Don't let another day go by without being there.

[Sally24]

It's never a mistake to try to reach out! It may work out well or not but taking the first step is a good thing. I hope this is the beginning of a nice relationship with your daughter. I can't imagine not having my family with me.....:sad:

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Not really sure what to say or not say at this point....

There's a lot that went on with this whole situation...A LOT!!!! some of which was really out of the "norm"...especally what complicated things is I came down with catastropic illness...in the MS/ALS Polio family that left me totally immobilized, wheelchair bound for a while...financially we went down the tubes and moving was a neccessity for my present wife to do to have help in caring for me as well as getting medical coverage...and it goes on from there...so it wasn't as my daughter says I ran away...but there was no communication between us at that time...so she doesn't knwo all the facts...

My whole desire was to some day in just a general way be able to tell her "this is what happened"...nothing more or nothing less. I didn't want to get into a slamming of anyone, not putting on any "spin" to make things look better for me or worse for anyone one else....all I wanted to do is to just tell her the facts, circumstances and events that took place sho she would have my side of the story...and I think I was able to do that....or do it to a point that now she has to at least stop and consider maybe my dad wasn't like I thought he was...Now where we go from here is going to really be determined on how much she wants to open the door....and whatever happens now I'm fine with it....go or bad....I'm at peace. It's been many years that I've carry this rather large rock on my should and finally by reaching out to her I've been able to take this rock down and put it on the ground.

I've done what I've wanted to do and now we'll see what happens...I'll send her an e-mail in a few days...let her take some time to think about what I've told her and see what happens from there...that's all I can do. I'm sure it's a shock to her as well so I need to give her some space and not just unload....

Anyway...if should be interesting....

[MJ]

the past is the past you can't change that . and now you have a chance to reuntie with your children just remember to treat them like any new friend respect . i hope all goes well for you