What My Wife Said

[Brooke Smith]

While enjoying a relaxing boat ride over the Labor Day weekend I was reclining in the bow with an adult beverage as my wife drove the boat at snails pace down a canal. It was an idyllic scene when my wife said to me, "You look like a princess sitting there." Funny you should say that", I said, "That was just what I was thinking. You know it is never very far from my mind."

Then she said, "You know it's not all it's cracked up to be. I have to work twice as hard for half as much pay as any man."

I wonder how many of us consider that as we contemplate transition? And the other side of the coin,how much of a factor is it for transmen?

Your thoughts?

[Kimberley]

I think that for many it comes with the reality check of RLE. Others seem to manage through self employment so the impact is significantly less. This is the route I am pursuing... slowly ever so slowly.

[tamarav]

I do believe your wife is pretty much on the mark. I work dressed daily and I need to get up quite a bit earlier to shower, do my makeup and hair and change into at least 5 different outfits before I head off to work.
The fact that I am a hair stylist should support your wife's contention that women make less money than men, on the average. I went from earning in excess of $140K a year to about $50K by the simple job change (and of course starting at the bottom of the ladder).

If I had stayed in my former profession I could have continued at the same pay rate approximately, but I prefer the more feminine approach, so it is my choice.

Otherwise, I find that working as a woman is a lot of work, but for me at least, it is well worth it!

Your sis,

Tami

[John]

yeah, I had a time after I first came out of everyone telling me stuff like that.

In the end I figure I don't cair how much of a pain it is to shave everyday / how agrasive the male population can be / how inconveniant a rampant labido is / how much 'less pritty' I'll be (:eek:) / that I'll be charged more car insurence / be more likely to be in a fight, anythings better than living the wrong gender.

[KeriB]

One of many post-transitive issues to consider that I too have thought about. I have a well-paying job and there have been others before me soi the groundwork is kind of laid for it, but still... jobs, friends, family, community.. gah.... yet it still seems so very desirable.

[marie354]

Transitioning... MTF or FTM
Yea, it's tough.
Your wife may have some good insights there.

[RikkiOfLA]

Only twice as hard? Your wife has it easy!:heehee:

When I transitioned, I discovered that I had to work twice as hard as the men--same as the other women. I had to do all the regular "job description" stuff, same or better than the men. Plus, the other women and I had to do all the unpaid "fun" (yeah, right!) stuff like decorating for holidays, organizing parties, bringing in cakes for special occasions, and so on.

On top of that, many men relax when they come home from work, while their wives fix dinner, help the kids with homework and bed, and clean the house.

Rikki

[Cai]

Women do sometimes get paid less than men in some types of work. They sometimes are passed over for promotion or hiring because of their gender, or find it harder to break into a new industry. It's by no means universal, but it does happen. (It also happens to both the extreme young and old ends of the working spectrum, people of color, people with alternative sexualities or lifestyles, etc. Nobody has it easy.)

Tamara, though, your story is a bad example. You're not making less than a man for the same work, you're making less than you used to in a completely different job. Apples and oranges.

However, pay grades, promotions, and job offers have less than nothing to do with my transition. I don't want to live as a man to make more money - I want to live as a man because I am one.