What would you give it up for?

[Jill]

I have the idea in my mind but I'm having trouble putting it into words. Is there something in your life that you really really want but can't seem to obtain? Is there anything that you want really bad that you would give up dressing to obtain or is dressing too important in your life to give up? Is it more important than gaining things you really want? Does this make sense?

I'm not saying that dressing keeps us from what we really want in life, but if it did, would you be willing to give it up? I'm also asking these questions working under the assumption that we could just give this up if we wanted to because ultimately I believe that despite our best efforts, we can't really just walk away from it easily.

[docrobbysherry]

I've always thot Sherry was just a passing fancy. That she would just disappear, if the rite woman came into my life.

After 7 years with Sherry, I have my doubts;

1. That she'll step aside gracefully, should I meet that special GG.
2. That she'll even let another woman into my life.
3. That I could give her up, if I wanted too!
:doh:

[Jocelyn Renee]

I would give it all up for my wife if she asked. My love for her and my commitment to honor our vows trump everything else. If asked, I would put my bi-gendered life on hold for my children until they begin their own lives. Other than those two examples there is nothing else for which I would deny my true nature to retain.

[Joy Carter]

I would give it all up for my wife if she asked. My love for her and my commitment to honor our vows trump everything else. If asked, I would put my bi-gendered life on hold for my children until they begin their own lives. Other than those two examples there is nothing else for which I would deny my true nature to retain.

Mind if I borrow your post ? Because that is exactly how I feel. But it would be tough, because it's not about the clothes.

[Kate Simmons]

The purpose of this life is to experience feelings and emotions in the illusion of time. We are who we are for a reason. It is our destiny to deal with these feelings but our choice as to how we do it. It mostly depends on what is more important to us and what we need but it's really our choice as to whether we pursue this as self discovery or put it on the shelf. One fact is unalterable and that is that it is in our DNA and our personal grid program and that is why it lingers. In the end, however, it is totally our choice and we must be prepared to live with the results of that choice.:)

[Brenda's Friend]

I would give it up right now, if I could.

BF

[TGMarla]

After 7 years with Sherry, I have my doubts;

1. That she'll step aside gracefully, should I meet that special GG.
2. That she'll even let another woman into my life....

What's she gonna do, Doc, yell at you? Balance, my friend. Balance. Stay in charge. Don't let the girl within dictate your entire life for you.

As for me, I doubt I could completely stop. I could abstain for awhile, but in the end, I'd still wear girl clothes. So my best answer will be to not make promises I cannot keep.

[deja true]

...As for me, I doubt I could completely stop. I could abstain for awhile, but in the end, I'd still wear girl clothes. So my best answer will be to not make promises I cannot keep.

I was gonna say "Never!" Marla. But you're right. No promises...

I've already given up a lot to be able to continue doing this, and after reading about so much frustration and hiding and outright lying (I hate lying!), I'm glad I did. It's not like I was ever gonna run for president anyway!

I have no family to speak of, not marital or by blood, and my independence has always been a treasure to me. My dressing, secretive as it has been over the years, and my inability to even think about giving up my freedom are both so ingrained in me that I'll probably never give up either.

I like me just the way I am, and it took years to get this way.

Of course...ya never know! Never say never, eh?

[Byllie]

I would give it all up for my wife if she asked. My love for her and my commitment to honor our vows trump everything else. If asked, I would put my bi-gendered life on hold for my children until they begin their own lives. Other than those two examples there is nothing else for which I would deny my true nature to retain.
Ditto!

[paulaluvssz8]

my family.....

[Edyta_C]

Yes I could put my femme side undercover for my wife. Family is just too precious. We could reach some compromise to keep the femme part of me happy enough to not go crazy. I was depressed before letting the girl in me breath. I could go back to medicine if I needed to.

Big Hugs Edyta

[Desiree2bababe]

Kids

[Karren H]

I have everything I want and more so crossdressing is my hobby when I have time...

Now if I had to give it up to keep something.... Wife, family and of coarse Ice Hockey come first!!! Anyone can dress up like a girl but not everyone can drop in a shot through the goalies 5 hole for a score!!! Hahaha

[Deborah Jane]

LOVE If the right woman comes along :)

Failing that MONEY Lots and lots of it :D:

[jenalex]

LOVE If the right woman comes along :)

Failing that MONEY Lots and lots of it :D:

by definition the "right woman" wouldn't want me to

but lots of money, maybe :)

[Angie G]

It's been part of me for almost 50 years. And for the 3 years my wife has known as been even more so. I have pretty much all I want so I don't think that scenario will be happening.:hugs:
Angie

[Alice B]

I'm pretty happy where I am. My wife knows and is coming to accept my dressing. She would be the only reason to give it up, unless health issues became a major factor. Right now I'm just my male self and quite happy. Yesterday I was Alice and quite happy. Seems like an even balance to me.

[CLARRISA]

I've allways thought if the right woman came along i'd give it up no hesitation, but shes got to be right, she has to enjoy her femininity and dress up glamorously occasionaly, these types have allways aluded me yet i see them on the high street every day..sadly i allways seem to meet the ones that dress down or scruffy when we go out somewhere, believe me i know the effort thats involved but if a women did that for me i'd feel so appreciated, proud and a man, i'm fed up up looking at other couples that seem to have it sorted, its like you've been picked on by a greater force not to get what you want in this life..blimey i do whine sorry! reckon its this wine i'm drinking getting me all feeling sorry for myself.

[Amy Hepker]

I am sorry, but CDing is who I really am and I will not go without it again. I am me and I am here to stay!!!

[sterling12]

I don't think it's a matter of what I "would" give up. I think it's a situation where it's what I "could" give up. And if you mean the whole thing for any person or reason, it's very doubtful.

We have numerous accounts that run in this forum along the lines of: "The Wife said give it up....thought I could, but I can't!" I have yet to see a situation where someone COMPLETELY gave up their femme self.

What you "would" be giving up is a large chunk of your personality. It would be like a voluntary lobotomy, except that people who had lobotomies where able to forget....something you can't do!

Here comes The Mantra again; instead of trying to think in terms of some noble sacrifice that "would" make you give it up, find self-acceptance. Once you figure out, "Hey, I'm not a bad person; the two of us get along," you stop worrying about what it would take to stop being yourself. By the way, it would probably be easier to self-amputate your arm....so why even try.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Sophie]

let me put this in context. I'm sitting here in my royal blue maids uniform, my wife is in bed (having seen me put it on). Last month i would have gladly given it all up, despite the fact my wife knows, understands and embraces my feminine side for the chance to have children. After trying for close to 2 years. But we have just found out we are expecting our first child. where does this leave me now? i'm so happy i cry almost every day. my wife knows that it would mean the world to me to be able to cuddle my child as a woman, and i almost certainly will. but i know that my days of dressing and sleeping in a satin nighty are numbered. How do i feel about that?.... oddly.. happy, the way i see it, my own family will fill the gap that dressing fills at the moment. Sophie will always exist, she'll just be taking a back seat while life and family wind their (hopefully) happy course!

Sophie

[Carly D.]

A relationship with a woman.. long term of course.. but even at that I think that my Carly side would have to be there in some form.. I can't see ever giving up wearing what I like for anything or any ideal situation.. I'm not saying that cross dressing is that important but rather that cross dressing is just part of who I am..

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I am sorry, but CDing is who I really am and I will not go without it again. I am me and I am here to stay!!!

My exact same thoughts as well. :thumbsup:

[CD Susan]

There is nothing that I desire that I do not already have that could make me give up cd'ing for. The love of a woman is the only thing I lack but for it to be true love she would have to be accepting of the cd part of me. I am not a wealthy person but I live comfortably so money would not be something either that would make me give up cd'ing. I believe that being a cd is something that will always be a part of me and I am comfortable with this. I would not give up cd'ing even if I could. It has been my way of life for over 50 years and I will never give it up.

[LilSissyStevie]

If I ever get bored with it, I'll give it up. Otherwise, I might consider a handful of magic beans.

[Stephanie Stephens]

I could give it up - dressing like a guy that is.:2c:
Stephanie

[Raychel]

I would give it all up for my wife if she asked. My love for her and my commitment to honor our vows trump everything else. If asked, I would put my bi-gendered life on hold for my children until they begin their own lives. Other than those two examples there is nothing else for which I would deny my true nature to retain.


My thoughts exactly, I can't say that I would like it. But I would give it up if she said that she wished me to.

[RitaCD]

There is nothing that I desire that I do not already have that could make me give up cd'ing for. The love of a woman is the only thing I lack but for it to be true love she would have to be accepting of the cd part of me. I am not a wealthy person but I live comfortably so money would not be something either that would make me give up cd'ing. I believe that being a cd is something that will always be a part of me and I am comfortable with this. I would not give up cd'ing even if I could. It has been my way of life for over 50 years and I will never give it up.

Again Susan and I seem to have the same mindset and life situation. I cd to some extent every day and have done so for 50+ years. That is just me. I cannot see that changing. I would probably be lost if Rita was not with me.

[jennylogan]

The only thing I'd give up cding for is if/when I get SRS. Doubtful this will ever happen, by hope springs eternal.

[sparks]

What Would I give up dressing for? Peace of mind.

Yes I would love to be a normal guy. But this just creeps into my mind and keep F*****G up my life. I hate and love dressing all in the same breath. I've ratched the hell outta my marriage and my soul seems to be ripped asunder.
Really which way am I meant to be? The middle sucks. The baggage is worse. I'm packed with no place to go.
I obviously won't or can't give it up for my wife or family because for the last nine years I've gone my selfish ways. The tears dry up and poor again.
I'm tired of the drama I'm tired of life I'm just plain tired.
I need help but in my little town there is no place to turn.

[Mercedes]

For me crossdressing is not something to give up. I can appreciate the thought of stopping and not wanting to dress but it is part of me. What drives me to wear womens clothing is internal and not a choice I make.

So for me the question becomes what would make me stop dressing. My wife asking me to stop would be close but that would mean that part of me would disappear and that would effect everything else. If someone offered me a $1,000,000 dollars to stop, it wouldn't make my crossdressing thoughts go away, it would just make me frustrated, but we would comfortable.

Mercedes XOXOXO

[marny]

nothing!

[Alice Torn]

Ditto. At 54, and still single, I believe part of my dressing,is because I have been starved for quality female affection, a right lady, to spend life with. The only females I have been able to spend any time with, the last decade or so, were females, not women, or ladies, and, thye would never wear dresses, or skirts, or get dressed up. I am also sick unto death, from down-dressing females. I dress dolled up , like the right lady, I would like to find. Like you, Clarissa, I see women dressed up, now and then, but, have never been successful at befriending a quality, well dressed one. I keep thinking, too, that a lady like that, who really respects, and loves me, would be a reason to stop dressing. But, here in the real world...

[Karen__Starr]

It's who I am and know at this stage of my life there is no giving this up

[FlygrlChristy]

Yes I could put my femme side undercover for my wife. Family is just too precious. We could reach some compromise to keep the femme part of me happy enough to not go crazy. I was depressed before letting the girl in me breath. I could go back to medicine if I needed to.

Big Hugs Edyta

I would think the clothes, and being who you really are would work better than having to resort to medication, besides, no side effects unless you destroy your budget.:2c::hugs:

Christy

[KathrynTX]

Giving it up is out of the question. I could throw away all my clothes, makeup, wigs, etc., but the feelings, inclinations, and desires would still be there.

You'd have an easier time getting the Earth to stop orbiting the Sun.

[Claire3]

Only a sex change,then i wouldnt be a cd anymore!:love:

[Roberta Marie]

Over the past 30 years of marriage, when I thought I was close to being discovered, I have been able to give it up for anywhere from a few months to a couple years at at time. Nothing in this world means more to me than my family, and I would give my very life for them. But as long as I am alive, I am transgendered. It is part of who I am. I can not stop being transgendered, any more than I can stop my hair from growing. I can shave it off, I can get laser treatments, or lot's of other "fixes", but it will always grow back. The outward manifestation of being dual gendered is crossdressing. I might be able to put this manifestation on hold for a while, but I honestly don't think I could give it up forever.

It was about 2 years ago that I came to realize that being dual gendered is a gift. Even though I had been suppressing it all of my life, there were times when it would sneak through without my realizing, as it is a part of my personality. Usually when it would sneak out, even when I was in total male mode, there would be positive effects. Now, in hind sight, I can see this throughout my life.

It wasn't being dual gendered that was the problem. It was hiding it that was causing most of the problems. All of the lying, the sneaking around. Now that I am out to my wife and honest with those that mean the most in my life, I am much better off. There are still problems, there will always be, but now I'm much happier facing them.

Grace,
Bobbi

[Alice Torn]

Catastrophic injury, or death, or, as i said earlier, a right woman.:daydreaming:

[Nicole Erin]

I don't think I could give it up.
If I had to commit to a life knowing I just could not CD ever again I would be very depressed.

CDing is not some external joy like a fancy car. It is something within.

Material posessions or friends come and go, but the woman within is there to stay.

For the wife, well I do love her but if she asked me to just quit, that is asking me to destroy part of who I am.

And yeah what Claire said about transitioning.

[Samantha43]

I would give it all up for my wife if she asked. My love for her and my commitment to honor our vows trump everything else. If asked, I would put my bi-gendered life on hold for my children until they begin their own lives. Other than those two examples there is nothing else for which I would deny my true nature to retain.


:yt:

Well said, Jocelyn.

[Maibh]

I fell in love with a woman who I knew from the offset would not approve and I mostly gave it up for her, purged everything I had, was occasionally miserable about it, but I loved her very much. I was with her for around 20 years before she died of cancer. That was a few years back, and my depression after she died kept me from doing much of anything for the first few years. I'm starting to collect a small wardrobe again, planning of buying forms soon, and reawakening Maibh from her long hibernation.

If I fall deeply in love again I hope it is with a woman who will support Maibh, but if she won't, Maibh will probably return to hibernation. Maibh is a pleasure and a hobby, not one I can take out in public, at least not until I learn and can dress convincingly. Love with the right person is more important, at least to me.

[Cassy11]

For my wife, and only for my wife.

[susan fuller]

Only for my wife if I needed to.

[susan fuller]

My wife if I had to.

[Tina B.]

No, did that once, didn't like me that way! I don't handle depression well!
Tina B.

[christid66]

I would give it all up for my wife if she asked. My love for her and my commitment to honor our vows trump everything else. If asked, I would put my bi-gendered life on hold for my children until they begin their own lives. Other than those two examples there is nothing else for which I would deny my true nature to retain.

Absolutely !

[Elizabeth Marie]

I've tried to give it up twice before, both for women I loved. The first one never knew about it, and died of an extremely aggressive cancer before it became an issue.

With my wife, I tried to stop when we first got married. I completely purged, thinking I would never need to dress up again. Within six months of getting married, I was sneaking into her clothes every chance I got. I soon started to accumulate my own bras, panties, slip, and hose. I wore her clothes with my lingerie for about another year whenever I had a chance.

Then she found my stuff. After a few months of anguish, she now accepts my dressing as long as I don't do it in front of her or our daughter, and as long as the neighbors don't see. We've been married more than 23 years.

For the girls that say they could give it up for the right woman: The compulsion to dress never goes away. The six months between my wedding and starting to dress in her clothes was a period of gradually increasing anxiety and stress. and ended up being my idea of hell. Hiding it from her was extremely stressful as well. The first two months after she found my lingerie was pretty rough, but we at least were able to talk about it, and it was a relief to not have that secret from her.

From my experience, I think it's best to tell any woman that you get involved with about your fem side as soon as possible. You will be under much less stress, and the relationship will be based on honesty. If she won't at least accept the fact that you are a CD, she really isn't the right woman for you. :2c:

[kelliboots]

Over the past 30 years of marriage, when I thought I was close to being discovered, I have been able to give it up for anywhere from a few months to a couple years at at time. Nothing in this world means more to me than my family, and I would give my very life for them. But as long as I am alive, I am transgendered. It is part of who I am. I can not stop being transgendered, any more than I can stop my hair from growing. I can shave it off, I can get laser treatments, or lot's of other "fixes", but it will always grow back. The outward manifestation of being dual gendered is crossdressing. I might be able to put this manifestation on hold for a while, but I honestly don't think I could give it up forever.
Well said. I feel the same. A relationship is work and I work hard to enjoy my best friends company on a daily basis.

[Anna the Dub]

As long as I live I will be a ts. I don't consider myself wearing female clothes as crossdressing as I am just trying to match my outer appearance with how I feel inside. The clothes themselves are completely unimportant. In fact, I rarely put on a skirt or dress or anything overtly girly, I tend to prefer tomboyish female clothes, because that's what my personality is, a tomboy. And when I transition, that is the type of clothes I will wear, mainly jeans, t shirts, nice tops, flat shoes, etc. What would I give them up for? I wouldn't. This is who I am.