Born in the Wrong Body

[Ellie]

I'm watching the show "Born in the wrong body" right now on MSNBC and in this episode they are profiling two males that fully transitioned to female only to decide 20 years later to transition back to male.

One first transitioned at 19 and the other at 40.

Has anyone here had thoughts of transitioning back to their original gender and if so what are the key issues or other things that you miss from being your original gender?

[helenr]

Hi, will have to find that channel and watch what I can. That is curious. I would have thought that the exhaustive pre counseling before SRS would prevent almost entirely this later regret. I can only presume, but perhaps the 'outcome' of the SRS wasn't to the liking of the two in question. Modern SRS is amazing, but it can't shrink a 6'3" man to a 5'7" female and it is hard to become the image of our dreams. Life is tough. thanks for posting, Helenr

[Valeria]

Has anyone here had thoughts of transitioning back to their original gender and if so what are the key issues or other things that you miss from being your original gender?
Speaking only for myself...

No, and not really anything. I certainly get treated patronizingly at times, but I don't miss having male privilege, instead I'd rather see a reduction in the inherent misogyny in our patriarchal culture.

[GypsyKaren]

Never, no way, no how, nope, ain't gonna happen, don't miss a thing of my old life, glad it's gone, buried it deep, nothing but blue skies ahead, life is good now, SRS was the best thing I've ever done for myself.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Steph Butterfield]

No, these men were obviously very confused individuals, I am not

[Ellie]

I found it interesting that in order for the men to transition they had to live a year as a woman, go through counseling, take hormones, etc. before a surgeon will perform SRS but if that person then wanted to go through surgery to restore their original gender some 20 years later the doctor simply asked her and the surgery was the next day.

I would think that a transition back after SRS would require the same level of checks and balances.

[Sharon]

Noooooooooo..., I would never transition back, though I haven't had surgery yet. And since I never identified as a male, and feel that I have always been female, I don't miss a thing.

[jill s]

I saw some of this show on-line so I may have missed a part of the story. But I was caught short when one of them said he wasn't happy with the doctor that the CHURCH used to do his breast reduction. Was he part of the Ex-Gay/Gender thing ?

[Valeria]

I found it interesting that in order for the men to transition they had to live a year as a woman, go through counseling, take hormones, etc. before a surgeon will perform SRS but if that person then wanted to go through surgery to restore their original gender some 20 years later the doctor simply asked her and the surgery was the next day.

I would think that a transition back after SRS would require the same level of checks and balances.
If the sole explanation for the gatekeeper system were to protect the patient, you'd be right. But a large part of the motivation is to protect the medical community for law suits, and they are obviously less concerned about being sued for surgically altering someone born "male" to appear more male anatomically - even if they have lived as a woman for 20 years.

Also, part of the underlying rationale for such elaborate protections is because many people are just plain uncomfortable with people transitioning. They put in lots of checks and balances because anyone considering such an act is obviously suspect of being incapable of making reasoned decisions for themselves...

[GypsyKaren]

I find it fascinating that you can get unlimited plastic surgeries on your face, you can have an extra head put on your shoulder, and all you need is a credit card, but in order to get SRS you have to jump through hoops and follow international guidelines...amazing for sure.

GK :star:

[Empress Lainie]

My ideal that I would like to look like is attached. But it can never be no matter how much money and surgery I had. So my av is me and I am certainly not unhappy with my present look as a woman, after all strangers tell me I am beautiful, and that is all I could ever ask for.

Transition back, never in a million years. I have always been a woman and always will be, thank goodness I can now live as the person I am.

I don't need any counseling for any reason unless I had the money for srs, and even then the letter from the center where the group meets is sufficient since the surgeon will provide the other one necessary.

Hormones, I only take herbal but may start the estrogen shots since my heart doctor said he thought I had little risk.

Electrolysis or laser hair removal - would love it, no money for it, have to be satisfied with shaving, but what the heck, done it all my life anyway.

Clothes and jewelry, my loves that I was denied for so long not knowing why I was different.

I think that program was actually a dis-service to the tg community, and is more anti-ts propoganda, now they would have MORE reason to refuse us our identity.

[MJ]

No I would never transition back . after all the crap i went through to get were i am today like no way ..

i can't understand how someone could go back why would you put yourself through that..i just don't get it

[Ellie]

I saw some of this show on-line so I may have missed a part of the story. But I was caught short when one of them said he wasn't happy with the doctor that the CHURCH used to do his breast reduction. Was he part of the Ex-Gay/Gender thing ?

Yes, the poor girl fell in with a church crowd that got a doctor to do the reduction surgery for free under the misguided belief that she would be happier as a male and since she hadn't had the bottom surgery the return to male was simpler to "fix".

[Ellie]

I think that program was actually a dis-service to the tg community, and is more anti-ts propoganda, now they would have MORE reason to refuse us our identity.

The show itself didn't attempt to make any conclusions based on what these two people went through and I have to give it to them for showing one that was unhappy with their return to male and the other that was happy with the return, even though his bottom surgery is not reverseable and he is now a gay man with the "wrong" equipment.

Interestingly, though not surprising, the one that took the time to work up the funds on her own to transition back (including donation request via the web) was far happier with the end result then the one that let the church's "wam-bam" free surgeon do hers.

Just my :2c:

[Empress Lainie]

This whole religious thing based on what some PERSON WROTE IN IGNORANCE over 2000 years ago is such a detriment to society.

My firing by the hater was I am sure inspired by her LDS church teaching. Yet I found an actual LDS transgendered group. The church takes their money but they can't attend services. Why stay? are they that brainwashed really?

Why hasn't there been other than wicca a religion that encourages people to be who they are instead of what the church authorities (dictators) say they should be based on traditions only designed to control people and make women slaves to the men.

I don't think (could be wrong of course) that airing that program is going to do anything other than make people in general who saw believe we are more strange and therefore make them less accepting of us.

[marie354]

I've waited all my life to get the courage to do this, and now that I have, I'd never go back.
To me, being a man was a lot less complicated, but I love being a woman.
I'm enjoying every minute of it.

[carolinoakland]

I saw that program and the thing I took from it was that these people had convinced themselves that going back to the original gender was a good idea. In one case the Trans woman went back to her original gender because of a desire to have a family. It just goes to show that there is a process on how to do this right without regrets, or the trauma of going back. Neither of these people seemed happier,

[Roberta Llyan]

Why hasn't there been other than wicca a religion that encourages people to be who they are instead of what the church authorities (dictators) say they should be based on traditions only designed to control people and make women slaves to the men.


There are other "religions/churches." The Unity church of Christianity is one. Also the Metropolitan Community churches are another. And, the one I prefer, is Religious Science (http://www.scienceofmind.com/)--not Scientology or Christian Science. But all three of these are accepting of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders.

Likewise, none of them are traditional enough to "control people" or "make women slaves to men."

[markie v]

I saw that show the other day and the guy who had the SRS to be a girl was really beautiful.

She changed back to Male and over did it by getting over muscular.

She changed back to Male to fit in but He never will because he has a Vagina and He can not get his Penis back.

Both girls were attractive and I believe the biker dude should go back to being female because she was happier.

[morgan pure]

That's very very rare. It's true that male identification has its privileges, but for most of us,we WERE just born in the wrong body.
We need a new category.
M

[Jennifer in CO]

Well, since I transitioned unintentionally, going back (I guess) was easier than most. Very long story short, the drug/study I did in the late 70's and the fact I was on a t blocker (ok..it was a kidney medication, but a little known side effect was as an effective t blocker...but that was back in the day that they didn't have to publish such things) gave me quite the womanly figure. I lived as a woman for 4+ years because of this. My wife out of the blue asked my to trans back as she wanted a man back in her life and wanted it to be me. She also said she could understand if I couldn't do it, but the option with that was separation/divorce and I didn't want that. After quite a while of pondering and praying, I went back to being a male. As I said above, having not intentionally transitioned in the first place made the decision kinda easier but in retrospect, I'd also have to say would I still do it today?...I really don't know...I would think yes but that answer would only come after a long thoughtful prayer session...

In reality, going back was as much hell as staying put would have been. I went to work as a woman for almost a year while being a "man" at home (if you could call a guy with b breasts/womans figure and hair in a body wave in the middle of "his" back a guy). At about 4-5 months in I got my hair cut into a bob that kinda looked masculine but I could work with for work (in reality, it made both more difficult). At about this time the Dr took me off the kidney meds which made the transition back more effective and speedy. Much a kin to Trans men starting on T it began to give me masculine features that I had never really had (in essence, because of when I started on the kidney meds I had in effect gone thru puberty first as a girl at 21 before now going thru it as a guy at 27) but they were similar changes that a Trans man sees..I was still a girl but with harder features. It was close to 2-3 years before I could go somewhere and not get "mam'ed" most of the time. It was almost that long before I felt confident in my presentation as a "guy" to believe I was one (again). OK, it wasn't but you probably catch my drift...it was probably at least a year or more for sure...again Trans men will understand...was I being "manly" enough. The funny of this was my confidence in becoming a woman I felt was significantly quicker. After a year at most I didn't think twice of doing something or thinking like a guy would do/be/done.

Do I miss it (living as a woman)?

yes

Jenn

[melissaK]

Perhaps this story of flip-flopping TSs points up the problem with limiting sexual expression to the binary choice of male or female. For some neither choice fits. Throw in a smattering of unrealistic assessments - i.e. a gender change is the only thing needed to make me a perfect happy fulfilled person, or a penchant for always thinking the grass on the other side of the fence is greener, and you're bound to get a few stories like these.

hugs,
'lissa

[GypsyKaren]

Throw in a smattering of unrealistic assessments - i.e. a gender change is the only thing needed to make me a perfect happy fulfilled person, or a penchant for always thinking the grass on the other side of the fence is greener, and you're bound to get a few stories like these.

hugs,
'lissa

I think that's a problem for many, the thought it will cure all problems and the unrealistic ideas of what life as a woman is really all about. Having expectations for anything in life is a sure way to get disappointments, you must take what comes and make it work for you.

Karen Starlene :star:

[MJ]

Do I miss it (living as a woman)?

yes

Jenn

I Thank you for your honesty :love:

[Lanore]

Born in the wrong body? Well, let's see. I just looked in the mirror and the answer is no. I developed in to the body I was born in, which is female.

Lanore