Telling close family

[shirley1]

Well I am at the stage now where I am one month on hormones, I think I am now fairly sure I am going all the way with this now, but really dont know how to approach my family, there is only my mom and my sister to consider.

What has made it harder is I havnt really known what to say to them, I have never seen myself as a cd'er but its took me quite some time to accept that I am TS, but it quite a bombshell to drop isnt it, I am prepared for rejection, but obviously I would prefer acceptance.

Just wondered of anyone can share some stories of when they finally came out to close family and was it as bad as you originally thought it would be.

I am really scared to tell them. I dont really want to lose them of I can help it, but what can you do, this isnt a choice lifestyle is it.

[Sharon]

I had the same fears when I faced the prospect of telling my family about myself and my transitioning. Seriously -- I was scared to death! I'm afraid there really isn't a formula for telling them, other than by doing so in a calm manner. Take your time in telling them(but not too lengthy or too detailed) what it is you have been feeling and invite them to ask questions, both then and in the future as they think of things. And the only way to gain the fortitude to tell them in the first place is to take a deep breath or two and just do it.

In my case, my two sisters were both immediately and completely supportive and have never wavered, other than expressing concern for my welfare from time to time. My kids took a bit longer to digest the information, but they, too, eventually came around, though the intervening time was pure torture. My nephews (almost like my own proxy-children since they were born) also never had a problem, and had a much easier time getting used to my new name. My mother is another story -- I can't decide whether she can't grasp this because of minimal dementia or that she is simply unwilling to accept it, but, then again, we have never been what you would describe as close.

Have faith in your family. If they truly love you, then they will want for you what you want. If they have always been loving and close, chances are that they will remain so, but be patient with them so they can take the time to digest all this. However they initially react, however, don't give up on them.

Good luck and keep us updated. :)

[deja true]

Oh, Shirley! I't's not the negative, scary stories that you wanna hear. It's the positive ones, that'll help give you the courage to do this scary thing.

I'm sure there'll be plenty of those. And there have been plenty of those, especially having to do with moms and sisters.

Like Sharon says, those that really love us usually only want for us what is best for us.

Good luck, dear one! :)

[Suzy Harrison]

I'm in a similar postion in that I'm hoping to start hormone treatment this very week.

I've already told; my wife, daughter, son, sister, 3 friends at work, HR boss at work and a few others. I approched the issue as a medical condition, which it is.
As soon as each of them heard the word "medical'', for a spit second they all thought the worst and thought I had cancer or something.

Compared to that, this condition is nothing. Everyone has been very supportive so far - and as such I'm very encouraged for the future.

(PS: this is my 1100 post !)

[GypsyKaren]

I've found that those who loved you before finding out will still love you, those who didn't won't. They may not understand and it may take some time for them to accept and deal with, but I doubt they'll turn their backs on you.

Karen Starlene :star:

[MJ]

if you tell them with love and respect in a happy way if they love you then it will go well . you catch more bees with honey .
now if you make it a matter of fact kind of way like i am dong this so there :tongueout . it could go bad ..
just be ready for the questions but say it with love

all the best

[marie354]

My family has been OK with it as well as most of my friends.
I've lost a few friends, but I made a few new friends as well.

My family knew of my 'secret' but never spoke of it...
I started telling people 2 years ago, and so-far, so-good.
So far my life isn't that much different except in the way I dress & present myself.
I'm retired but I have visited my old job last week and all went well there too.
No where to go but forward for me now.

Just talk to them and let them know how you feel and what you'll be going through. One at a time if necessary.
;>)

[Anna the Dub]

I really hope it goes well for you. Mine didn't really. My Ma will never accept it, my brothers are bemused, my sister never even mentions it, but hey ho, such is life. I did have 2 bright moments, my niece by my eldest brother (she is only 9 years younger than me) is very accepting, and another niece by a different brother that I only met for the first time in April (she's only 22) is absolutely fascinated and totally in my corner. Little sweetie.