Almost did it...

[4serrus]

Had a conversation with my SO yesterday that came dangerously close being a Talk. He doesn't know I'm not all girl. I think he might suspect.

Me: "Does it bother you that I'm not a typical female?"
Him: "No, I love you for it."
Me: "Does it ever bother you when I want to wear men's clothing or dress like a guy?"
Him: (short pause) "No... just as long as you're not heading for a sex change. If you are, Please tell me soon." (oh god)
Me: "(trying to be 'funny')Nah... surgery is scary..."
Him: "See, that scares me. Phrases like that. Like one day you'll get over the fear."

Then the conversation just kind of stopped. I stopped talking and he went upstairs. Now I'm stressing more than I should be.

I need to tell him. I should at least tell him I don't want surgery (true). I just... what to say and how to say it and without feeling stupid. Got all kinds of crap going through my head (what if he hatesme/thinksit'sescapsism/doesn'tbelieve/blahblahblah). Trying to get it to shut up. He's from San Francisco for godsakes. It can't be that bad, right!?

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh...

[ZenFrost]

My advise tends to always be the same with this kind of thing because I tell people what I'd do in their situations. So take it or leave it, but I prefer the blunt approach of just telling people flat out. If the topic is really sensitive it can be good to approach it first carefully, but too much skirting around gets nowhere. So I'd suggest just telling him that you're transgendered, but don't want surgery, and making sure he knows that it doesn't change who you are.

Oh, and this :slap: is for your signature. 'Cause there's no such thing.

[4serrus]

Ow.

Okay, fine, I changed it. Happy now? :tongueout

[Wolfie]

It has to be one of the hardest 'talks' with a SO. You have taken the first step, now you have to decide when and if you want to take the next. Straight talking is the way I tackled it - but every person is different and each relationship works uniquely. Do it your way and your pace. But o so scary!