would your father be proud of you?

[sandra-leigh]

Found today in a local city general chit-chat forum. The original poster is known for making random flames without a lot of thought, but I thought I would copy here as the summary point is one I have not seen people discuss.



Then was going through the channels and came upon ch.9 and this guy is putting make up on this woman. they show him/her and he has better looking hair, more make up on than most women and "man hands", wearing a womans top, and a woman watch.
His father must be so proud of his son/daughter. whatever the hell it is,
huh?


I will probably not reply -- you know what they say about wrestling with pigs. :straightface:

[tricia_uktv]

It was the death of my Father which made me change my mind and do this. I think he would find it hard, but yes, I think he would be. My Mother is but never wants to see her son dressed.

[Karren H]

Nope....

[Deborah Jane]

I don,t think he,d recognise me :heehee:

[Margot]

:battingeyelashes:It would have disappointed him for sure.

[Priscilla Ann]

Put me down for a "nope" also.

[TommiTN]

I'm in the "nope" column. He was disappointed in me when I was a kid, so if he knew I still dress I don't think that would change.

[Dragonfly]

I like to think my mum and dad wouldnt have cared less as long as I was happy. If there was any objection though it would have been from dad.

Id have never felt confident about myself to have told them when they were alive though. But that was a 'me' issue, not a 'them' issue.

[SandyR]

No.

[suzy cool]

I think my Father would be mildly confused and embarrassed.....but that probably goes for everyone I know.

[tammie]

Hi All: My mother would definitely understand, after all it was she who bought me my first bra pantygirdle and slip.

My father didn't want kids and didn't really like me, so he would not have been "more disappointed" than he already was.

[MJ]

MY dad would not aprove .. but he would have told me whatever makes you happy .. you have one life to live

[Annaliese]

Yes I do think my father would be proud of me, I try to be the best I can be which is what he tought me to do. I was visiting my parents and my brother and sister were there a long with other family members. I was wearing short short and my legs were shave and my sister was giving me a hard time. My father told her to lay off.

Anna

[KellyCD]

My father went to prison for murder, so I could care less if I could make him "proud".

But you could file me under "nope".

[lisa_vin]

Hi Tess! That's a question that will forever remain unanswered. He passed away when I was 4 so I never really knew him. My last memory of him was as he lay dying of a heart attack. That was in 1958....he was 52 at the time so, being from that era dating back to close to the beginning of the 20th century, my guess would have to be no! Now, my mom knew I put on her stuff since I was about 5 - 6 and never said one word about it or went to the trouble of trying to put her stuff out of my reach. She died when I was 14 so with her my answer would have to be a definite "I don't know!" Sorry, she kinda' served as mom and dad!

[Susan Loves Life]

Well, here's my answer too. Yup! My dad would have been proud of me for just being the "real" me. Both my parents wanted girls but only got boys. My mom did all she could to try to raise me as a girl - fond memories :) at least until I started school and then all that "male" crap started :(

Love to all - Susan

[Edyta_C]

Well I am somewhat like Susan. My mom wanted me as a girl and my father was against it, totally. So he would never have approved or accepted. My mom would have accepted it and perhaps embraced it.

Edyta

[Tina B.]

Quick answer, Nope! Long answer, not many of his generation would aprove.
But then he lived his life his way, and would expect me to live mine my way, wheither he aproved or not!
Tina B.

[PamelaTX]

He's been gone for 15 years, so it's hard to say. I think the answer is yes. He became remarkably tolerant as he grew older. Also, there were a few indications that he might have had his own little secrets too.

[docrobbysherry]

He was finally proud of me a few years before he passed away.

But, I didn't start CDing until a couple of years after he passed. Thank goodness!:Angry3:

[Nicole Erin]

My dad knows. I don't think he is "proud" that I CD but on the other hand, he is kind of indifferent. He just doesn't want me doing it around my kid or his friends seeing me.

I have done things in life that pissed him off or freaked him out a lot more than being CD. This is one of those "I'd rather you didn't but whatever..."

EDIT - You know, most of us have kids and are often talking about how us being CD would effect them or our younger kin. It is kind of unusual to see this group talking about how this CD thingwould or does effect our parents. Ehh just kinda unusual.

[jennylogan]

As a strict Catholic both he and my mother would have found it terribly disappointing if they had known and would probably not have accepted it at all. Just the grief I took from my divorce is an indicator of how much their hard line Cathlic views on such things influenced their thinking.

[Wendy me]

my dad has passed ........ i don't think he would understand ......so a no here too.....

[sandra-leigh]

Me again, the originator of the thread.

I am a bit startled, and somewhat anguished, to read so many No's, many delivered so flatly that it is easy to perceive that there is a lot hurt out there on this topic; I get the impression that a lot of us would have trouble talking about this.


Earlier, I did not say anything about my own father, as I did not have time then.

Like some of the others here, my father died when I was fairly young, not quite 14. I do not remember him especially well... I don't remember much of my childhood especially well (fault of the way my memory works.)

Based upon some things my mother has said (but refrains from telling me the details), I know that my father was decidedly human, a man who tried his best but who struggled with human feelings. Someone thought by many to be "remote" but who was not: someone who didn't really know how to deal with people; someone with sometimes an excess of empathy that could lead to difficulties. I think if anything he might have been a bit scared at how much like him I turned out.

I don't know if my father would ever have "understood" my dressing, but I am sure he would be proud to see how much I contribute to others, in my work and in my activities around my dressing. I think that he would have been intellectually fine with the idea of crossdressing... but it is hard to say after so many years how he would have reacted emotionally to seeing me dressed. I rather suspect that after reading about some of the struggles that some of you (and the transmasculine and the transsexuals) have gone through, that he would have felt that pit of sadness, and of injustice done, and would have welcomed me and my CD / TG / TS friends.

My father came from a family of activists, and he conveyed to us a healthy respect for the struggles of other people for dignity. He was, though, a bit estranged from his own mother and father, who were absent from home due to spending more time worrying about others than about their family. He would not have wanted to deny us any measure of compassionate human closeness, provided it was balanced with home life.

[Jaquelyn]

I know my father never accepted or understood my sister being gay; so therefore I assume he would never be proud of what I do now, therefore, as long as I can help it, he never will, lol. My father is proud of me, he has told me so. He is proud of who I am, and what I do for a living, and my wife, and his grandchildren. He is, though, way too old to change his ways of thinking of most in life: politics, religion, etc. That would also include this topic. Hell, if he knew I also enjoy bdsm, he probably have another heart attack!!!!!

[kimmy p]

Don't care.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

My father knows, has known for about 14 years, because I told him. I don't think he "gets" the why of it or understands much about it or wants to learn more about it, but he does love me and wants me to be happy. He does't know about me not beng happy, I don' want to trouble him wth that.

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[deja true]

The few times I met my father, on his trips to see my mother between his three other mariages, I was not much impressed with his arrogance or ignorance. In fact,though I don't really care what he would have thought of it, I'm sure he would have been disgusted in that sanctimonius way that bible thumping hypocrites are.

When I think abut it, it may even be my utter disregard for him and the men like him, that nudged me towards who I am today.

Bitter? No, not really. Indifferent is probably the right word. I'm a sensitive, caring person who eventually figured out that most men were not like the self-absorbed creature that sired me. But I also figured out that I felt happier and safer without a father at all than one like that. I also found that girls and women were much more likable and sympathetic as friends and companions.

Mom? Oh, she wouldn't have liked it at all, but I think she might have at least come to understand it, eh? Mom's are like that. They tend to love us no matter what.


(Thanks Tess, never been to therapy, but you just gave me the opprtunity to voice that little horror story for the very first time. Know what? I feel better already!) :D

[Samantha43]

Put me in the "nope" category.

I had a great dad. We got along well, even through my know it all teenage years. He passed a few years ago and I still miss him. I remember the comment he made when I was a teenager and wanted to grow my hair long. He said "I already have two daughters, I don't need a third"

I don't think he would have understood.

[Cathytg]

I am amazed that this question has come up. I must tell you a little story about my Dad and me. Then you will understand. Then I will feel better.

My Dad was very shy and uncomfortable. He may have been the most unhappy person I ever knew but I always thought little of him and never sympathized. He died in 1993, 2000 miles away from me. We never hugged and we never said "I love you." He just lived his life as a loyal, hard-working honest man. A very simple man. When he died I felt very little. I never felt close to him during my childhood nor did I feel antagonistic. I simply did not feel.

Just before Easter of 2002 I was divorced and sitting at our Holy Thursday Mass which I went to by myself. Midway during that liturgy I looked up and saw my Dad's face above the altar. He was smiling. I had never seen him smile before. It was then and continues to be a very profound experience.

Now, in the context of this thread, I think about him and that moment and I cannot help but know two things. He knew then that I am transgendered and that I dress. Second, he smiled anyway and is proud of me. This I know but have never thought this way. Thank you for this thread. You have taken me to a very sacred place.

[Megan70]

... said with a great deal of pain and post traumatic stress memories......

Yeah when I was 7 years old or there abouts I was goofing around like most young boys with out any deep agenda and tried on my sisters clothes and wore them around the house laughing like a young wise kid.
My fathers reaction when he found out.
"No son of mine is gonna wear girls clothes, Ill show 'em. He's going to have to wear his sisters dress every day for a week at home after school for an afternoon to break him of ever doing that again."
That forced transvestism began my long journey that stayed hidden in me and re-emerged at 13 years old. Because of him, The *******
It was only when my mother found my stash and her and my sister can=me up behind me one night while i was eating and thrust the wig down on my head and presented me with my bag of hidden clothes, that I gathered the nm up later and secretly stole away outside into the night on a cold winter sleet filled evening and ran away with the stuff, 5 miles later I found myself in some woods when I poured gasoline on it and set it all a fire. Had I had a rope at that time I would have hanged myself outta shame.

Hours later after having wondererd in the snowy night I returned home just as my father was pulling in the diveway after being called home from work by my scared mother.

He met me at the back door, we went upstairs to sit at the kitchen table to have a long father son talk when I confessed to him I enjoyed wearing girls clothe. He recalled the earlier years of his forced en feminization punishment and said " its all my fault" I said no at the time to not make him feel guilty.
You know what you s.o.b. You're goddamn right it was!!!!!

And for this 50 + years later I should be grateful for this...this "gift"
Bull.
It was and will always remain to ME my curse. No comments please, my own opinions and feelings!

Sorry for the extended rant but it brings up a very hurtful memory from my past.
Megan

[justmetoo]

For this, I doubt it. For other things, yes.

[muggsybear]

I doubt it. When I was about 16, I discovered that my older brother (22) was also into crossdressing. I was never caught by my dad and I'm pretty sure that my mom never told him anything but I'm very aware of his reactions when he found a stash of my brother's stuff that had been left behind when he got married. He rounded up all this wonderful stuff and told my mother to call my brother and get it out of the house. Pissed to say the least, disappointed for sure. Thank goodness my mom elected to stash the boxes in the basement for a while until the storm blew over. I had a bunch of good times in those boxes and was smart enough to remove the few things I really liked before they disappeared. My brother was never told what happened and the boxes ended up at good will so my mom was trying to keep a little peace in the family.

[DAVIDA]

I have never told my father outright, but I think that he has known for a long time. I left something out and he found it and covered it up! To this day he has never said anything about it. He also has never given me any indication that his feelings toward me have ever changed. I know that he is proud of me. I guess that I could ask him since he is still around.

[Amanda_in_MA]

I would hope that my father would be understanding if I where to come out to him, that this is the real me... but I can not risk losing the friendship that we have

[Amy Lynn3]

I was the entire world to my father. He worshipped the ground I walked upon from the first memories I had of him until he died when I was 23. I can say he would be proud of me, if he knew cding was a part of me, because he loved and respected all of me. I miss him and wish he was still here, so I could share my life with him.

[Megan70]

I was the entire world to my father. He worshipped the ground I walked upon from the first memories I had of him can say he would be proud of me, if he knew cding was a part of me, because he loved and respected all of me. I miss him and wish he was still here, so I could share my life with him.
Yah, my father was very proud of me growing up , becoming a professional graphic artist and getting a college education. But did I love him? No. He died in 1983 and I don't miss him at all. He was a hypocrite and a social drunk who I was embarressed by. CDing was never brought up after that night.

[Kate Lynn]

My father was never proud of me for anything I did,if he were still alive I believe he would still be the vicious,spiteful,hatefilled,violent person he always was.

Kate

[Maibh]

My father is 80 now, getting a little confused about many things. He has become more insular and biased as he has aged. I doubt he would ever have been proud of my choice, but today he would probably get very publicly upset.

So, nope.

[Rachel Morley]

Put me in the "nope camp" ... I am absolutely sure without any doubt whatsoever my father would shoot me dead if he knew! Ok, maybe not actually really shoot me, but it would definitely change our relationship (for the worse) forever!

[Cassy11]

Both of my parents died when I was 18. I'm now 63. I never told them and they never knew. Would he be proud of my CDing...Never

[ChristineRenee]

I believe my father knew that I was "different", but he did love me very much I do know that. But as for me being TG/CD...no...he would not have understood that. My father was very black and white about things...no shades of gray there. He still would have loved me if he had ever known about it, but in the same context I know that he would definitely not have either understood it or approved of it and would have been somewhat embarrassed to have had a son who wasn't "all man""...so to speak.

I loved that man very much and never a day goes by that I don't think of him fondly. That said...he was a product of both his generation and their time. That has to be taken in consideration when you "judge" them and their very definite distinctions between how men and women should be.

Thankfully we as a people living now in the 21st century, though certainly not the majority opinion by any means, are beginning to understand, comprehend, and become more tolerant and sympathetic of those who do not fit society's "norm" of what men and women should be.

Just my opinion here.

[Melanie R]

My father and , now deceased, met Melanie for the first time in 1989. My father made this comment, "I have a handsome son and also have a beautiful daughter. You look so much like your mother." With those words I cried with happiness.

[katrinacd]

A couple years back I decided to tell both of my parents (separately) about my CDing. I told my dad over a couple beers at a local sports bar and it went just fine. His first comment, "Wow, that's really interesting!" was absolutely priceless and so much like my dad. We talked about it for a couple hours and he even complimented me on how good I looked dressed at a Halloween party my wife and I held a few years back. Just as big a compliment was saying how amazing it was that I was able to keep it from my mom (she is extremely anal and he thought she surely would have noticed if I didn't leave her clothes the exact same way I'd found them). We haven't talked about it much since that night but he's obviously cool with me. Overall, a good experience.

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

while it was my mother who caught me in my sisters pantyhose when i was 12,,,they both are alive still and proud of me for the other things in life i have done and still do.....:D

btw..EVERYONE who knows me knows i dress or at least that i wear pantyhose :D

[sandra-leigh]

I would hope that my father would be understanding if I where to come out to him, that this is the real me... but I can not risk losing the friendship that we have

That suggests to me a general question: is it harder to tell fathers than mothers?


I continue to be amazed by the variety of these very personal stories. When I posted the thread, I expected a couple of random flames about public ignorance and discrimination; I had no idea of the emotional depths the question would raise!

[Joy Carter]

My dad and I were very close because, Because I wanted it that way. I'm so sorry that you other's didn't have that. He never did but one mean thing to me. I soon forgot it, and we were close all the rest of his days. Would have he understood ? I'd say he would have tried for my sake. He knew I was sensitive and caring. More so than any male should be. He wasn't perfect, but our relationship made him proud.

Mom suspected it, because it was her clothes I wore. She teased me a couple of times when there was a CD on TV. Or was that a TV on a CD ? LoL

[battybattybats]

When I came out as a crossdresser to my Dad over the phone he shouted 'Good on ya!'.

He is definately proud of me.

[Audrey34]

Neither of my parents would have approved of Audrey. Part of the reason I'm in therapy now. Even though I've grown a bit (going to Tri-Ess, being on this forum) I still deal with the occasional pangs of guilt over my dressing.
-Audrey

[Christinedreamer]

When I was a kid, my dad told me stories of him and his buddies growing up in the '30s. They skinny dipped a lot (in a circular pond that is still visible on Google earth) and also spent a lot of guy time "comparing" and a few other things that country boys did without a second thought. He was very open with me without trying anything funny. He encouraged me to try anything that made me "feel good"on my own. (if you get my drift) Today it would have probably considered some sort of child abuse or improper communications.

I discovered my love of nylon at age 5 and snuck everything I could from my 2 sisters or mom. Once when I was old enough and had enough allowance and paper route money saved, I bought myself a beautiful nightgown set at Woodward and Lothrop in DC. Once I had it home I slept in it every time I had the chance.

On one weekend my family left to go to an aunt's house for dinner. I ate and made a hasty retreat back home to put on my gown. I laid on the bed and fell asleep. My dad came home and found me but let me sleep for a while. After an hour or so, he woke me and suggested I change before mom came home.

Over the years we have talked about my being a CD and he seems to understand but when Mom is around within earshot he is dead set against it. I am not truly sure how he feels. very confusing signals, but as he is now 83 I don't push the issue. Thankfully my older sister is totally cool with it but my younger sister is a real prude.

Christine

[LilSissyStevie]

My father was a mentally ill alcoholic. He once beat a woman nearly to death with a framing hammer as I watched in horror. I was three. When he got out of prison for that, he nearly killed me and my sisters several times in a series of drunken car wrecks. He stabbed me through the hand with a fork once because I somehow annoyed him when I reached for a biscuit at dinner. He spent most of his life going in and out of jails and mental hospitals. In spite of all of that, we became close during the last year of his life. I came to understand him and was able to forgive him. But still, for some reason I don't worry too much about what he would think of me.

[CD Susan]

My dad was very very strict with the six of us when we were growing up in the 60's. If we got out of line we were beaten severely. I lived in fear of my dad but still respected and loved him, that was just the way that I was brought up. I think that my dad had a cd side of him. He always would dress up as a witch on halloween. I have seen pictures of him dressed up for other ocassions as well. I think that it is not a coincedence that all of these dressing up ocassions meant he enjoyed doing it. Maybe he passed this on to me, who knows?

[Charlena]

No... my father would not be proud of me. My mom and sister and I lived in fear of him. he died in 1982 2 months after his first grandchild was born, I spent those years trying to make that man proud. The man who would make fun of me for helping mom cook and clean, wanting to let my hair grow in the 70's "not in my house". Was repulsed that I did not enjoy hunting. At that time I sometimes "hated" that man. He died at 56 of alcoholism like my 44 YO sister is doing now. He was a Marine in the south pacific 1944-1946. he had to kill and see his friends killed so I do not hate him anymore if I ever really did. I just regret that I never got to know my real father. My Aunt's have told me they knew he was a hardass but that he was not like that before he went off to war. He was a hard-working man who kept food on the table and a nice roof over our heads, but fought the bottle and inner demons his whole adult life, the bottle won. Perhaps the most unhappy man I have ever known. When I was 17 we got into a bad argument, I teared up told him I loved him and put my arms out for a hug... he turned away in disgust. I love him now and try not to dredge up those old painful memories.

[RikkiOfLA]

My father was fascinated with drag. His favorite wrestler was "Gorgeous George" who typically entered the ring in a long blond wig and a very femme robe.

But dad was also very conservative and strict.

He died when I was 16 and we never discussed my dressing, which was quite secretive as a kid.

So I just don't know.

Rikki

[valenstein]

I don't know. My Dad is very proud of the son he knows, I'm not sure how he'd take it. I think my mom kinda knows. I think he'd accept it, but it's the fact that he seems so proud of me that makes it hard to tell him. I want to tell my sister next time I see her, and I'll go from there.

[Crissy Kay]

This has to be one of the most interesting threads I have ever seen on the forum here IMO. No, I am sure my dad would never understand or approve of my cding. In fact, I will admit, I gain some measure of revenge, strange as it sounds, on him even though he has been dead for the last ten years!!!

[Juanita O]

not only no but hell no. When i was 10yrs old and got caught by my folks wearing my mothers skirt, my father said that real men don't wear skirts,and he also said that i was sick in the head. He thought that i was sick in the head until he died about 5yr ago.

[flatlander_48]

Well, actually....

























NO!!!




Make that HELL NO!!!!

[Bridgette T]

I know my dad is proud of me, as he has told me many times. I was good kid (straight edge for those in the know) a bad student who turned it around in college, and now a good father to my three kids. The man definitely loves me and is proud of me.

That being said, I also know that he finds crossdressing a little disturbing. "Weird. It's just really weird." was how described it to me when a guy who works for him came out. This guy is known for being quite odd (the the Eddie Izzard routine Weirdo Transvestite/Executive Transvestite definitely applies here). I am sure that my dad would associate the weirdness with the crossdressing, so it has never been discussed.

[KimberlyS]

From the comments my father has made about cd/tg's on television it is clear he would not be proud of me. He does not think much of my earrings either.

[Ruby Sundaze]

Ya, my daddy would totally not approve.

[KandisTX]

My father knows all about Kandis, but he has the attitude "If I don't talk about it, it doesn't exist". All I have to say about that is "SCREW THE OLD *******". Besides, it's Momma that loves Kandis and supports her ;)

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Anna the Dub]

Both of my parents know that I am ts, and both freaked out when I told them (told them in 1998). My Da is 80 now, and my Ma is 79, very conservative, old fashioned and horrified at me. I don't really care what they think, to be honest, I had a very cold upbringing and I know that I was unloved. I was the last child of 5 and was a complete accident. When my Ma finally accepted that she was going to have another baby, she wanted a second girl. They had even picked out a name for me, Ruth. However, when I was subsequently born my Ma had a breakdown, and my brothers had to go into a home for a few months (don't know where my sister went). There are no photos of me at all as a baby (but tons of my siblings when they were babies), the first picture of me is when I was 3 years old. I knew I was different from other boys at the age of 3, and consequently I was an unhappy child, an unhappy teenager, and a very, very unhappy adult. I was in denial for years and years as to my true nature. It is only now that I am sorting out my life to be who I was meant to be that I have reached some sort of peace. When you are a child it is very easy to work out that you are unloved. As a teenager I still felt unloved. I knew I had to leave home if I wasn't to implode. Instead of just leaving the family house, I left the country (I am from Ireland) and moved to England, just to express myself. Do I make them proud? Not in a million years. I couldn't care less, I make my best friend and her family proud, that'll do me.

[Carly D.]

I think of this every now and then.. my dad passed away a few years back and every now and then I think what would someone say to me.. I think it would go like this : "what would your dad say if he were alive and knew that you crossdress?" and my answer is I think my dad would just figure that I've been doing this for this long and he just found out about it and there was never any kind of hu-bub raised about it so why make a stink now.. also I think he would not be surprised that I crossdress because I was always the different one.. the one likely to do something completely different then the others..

[Kate Simmons]

I think my Dad would have been proud of the fact that I'm in touch with my feelings and am my own person. Generally that is not a strong suit with most men, especially those of his generation. As far as the dressing, I don't think he would have understood it but would have known I'd always be his Son regardless just as I will always be the Father of my children no matter what.:)

[Laura_Stephens]

My father wasn't proud of me when I graduated Valedictorian from high school. He wasn't proud of me when I graduated Valedictorian in college. He never knew about my dressing. If he did, he still wouldn't be proud.

[VikkiVixen7188]

My Father can go **** himself.

I havent spoken to him in 3 years now.

[marny]

doubt dear old dad would care. He died 30 years ago when I was a smite!

[erica12b]

mine no ,
most people dont understand,
you ask about dad , but left out mom's ,
then there isthe one that is a real twist what would you do if one of your kids , wanted too ,then think about how you would act would you agree or try and talk them out of it, or come out to them

[sandra-leigh]

you ask about dad , but left out mom's ,


There have been several threads in which people have spoken about "coming out" to their mothers, but few in which people have spoken about "coming out" to their fathers (although some of the ones mentioning mothers have said in passing that they don't intend to tell their fathers.)

Mothers get mentioned a fair bit in discussions about "borrowing" clothes, or about wanting to dress in one of the fashions that the mother dressed in, or mention of how the mother treated the child like a girl at times; posters have, though, historically not said much about their fathers, and what little has been said has often been negative, along the lines of "my mother told my father, and he beat me" :sad:



then there isthe one that is a real twist what would you do if one of your kids , wanted too ,then think about how you would act would you agree or try and talk them out of it, or come out to them

There have been a few threads about that, and there have been threads in the Loved Ones section in which parents (usually the mother) has posted with regards to a child of theirs who is crossdressing.

[Sarah Doepner]

My dad was a pretty conservative, hard-working, hard-playing man who didn't approve of my look during my "hippy" years. He didn't realize that when he left my mother, he removed the best male role model around. Mom became the one that I followed and emulated. She wasn't too happy when she found out I'd been trying on her clothes and sent a 13-year-old me to stay with Dad for the summer. I don't think he knew why I was there. We never talked about it. Based on everything I knew about him (he's been dead for 15 years or so), he may have been proud of my education, career and my ability to build things or play ball, but not crossdressing. His may have been the "greatest generation", but it wasn't the most understanding one.

[Mona]

Nope here. My dad was proud of the guy things I did but wouldn't be able to understand my need to CD.

[Steph Butterfield]

I definately would say " NO ", in 1988 my dad did see me in a dress and his reaction was violent and angry, I never let him see me dressed again. He died in 2002, and I almost immediately gave into my feelings and now I am transitioning; without my family, as they all dissaproved my transition.


Stephanie

[Farrah]

My mom would probably by very disappointed, but love me all the same. Just like the time I pierced my ear. She knew about it, but I never wore it around her. My dad would probably use my cding to ridicule me or to put me down in front of others. However I don't really care what he thinks about me.:tongueout

[Claire Cook]

No, my dad would not have understood. My mom knew that I would get into her closet, but could never bring herself to discuss it with me. I'm sure she told my dad. Too bad, since she really wanted a daughter, but could only have me. One of my real disappointments is that I could never discusss it with her.

I'm saddened by some of the stories in this thread. Why can't parents accept us for what we are?

Claire

[Jaydee]

Wow, a lot of amazing answers. My dad has been dead for about 15 years. Even though he was not very demonstrative, I know that he was proud of me and my guy accomplishments. I do not believe that he would have understood my CDing. I think he would have been quite upset. I am just as glad that he never found out.

Jaydee

[bobi jean]

I do not know how proud Dad was, he and mom both knew from the age of 9 or 10) all that was ever said by either was, PUT MY HIGH HEELS BACK IN THE CLOSET. What I do know is that on many many occasions I heard him say, It does not matter what color one is, when we bleed, we all bleed red, and if you turn us inside-out we all look the same. My dad was born in 1910 in the western half of Missouri, worked at farming and maintenance work all of his life and his best friend for many years was a black man from Alabama that moved to Missouri in the early 50's. The explanation above was given any time one of his co-workers or other aquaintenaces would ask why he spent so much time with a black man.
Usually there would be an added, BESIDES, HE KNOWS ALL THE GOOD FISHING HOLES AROUND HERE!!!

[Daintre]

Do I think my father would be proud?
Short answer NO
A tad more information...my dad was a WWII army sergeant in the British Army, a guy's guy, very athletic, football (soccer) was his passion. Along comes me, not athletic, hated football, was chubby all my life. To top things off, he woke me one morning, I was wearing a night gown. I will never forget the verbal lashing and physical abuse ever.
Was he proud of me...no, I tried hard to be a good son, but I guess I came up short.

[Cindi Johnson]

Super topic. I've often thought it would make a great subject for a book. Maybe someday I'll write one.

But, my answer is no. No, No, Hell No!

I was born in the early 1950's. My dad was a tough, blue collar, hard (very hard!) drinking WWII veteran who mostly just despised me for being too small, too smart, and too nice. (Yes, looking back, although my family never knew of my CD'ing, I can see that he and most everyone could see through my facade. Even a bit of of femininity on a boy shows. I was different, and in the worst way possible.)

Although I ended up going to war, then to college, into a good professional job, and also supported my parents to a great degree, in my father's eyes I never equaled my brothers (who did none of the above, but were "real" men).

Now, a decade after he died, I've put it all into perspective and maybe have accepted his good and bad. But mostly I don't care. I avoid men who are like him, and I have never treated my son in the manner I was treated.

Cindi Johnson

[Jennifer Devine]

My Dad loves me regardless of what i do but wishes that crossdressing never existed.

[ChristineRenee]

Super topic. I've often thought it would make a great subject for a book. Maybe someday I'll write one.

But, my answer is no. No, No, Hell No!

I was born in the early 1950's. My dad was a tough, blue collar, hard (very hard!) drinking WWII veteran who mostly just despised me for being too small, too smart, and too nice. (Yes, looking back, although my family never knew of my CD'ing, I can see that he and most everyone could see through my facade. Even a bit of of femininity on a boy shows. I was different, and in the worst way possible.)

Although I ended up going to war, then to college, into a good professional job, and also supported my parents to a great degree, in my father's eyes I never equaled my brothers (who did none of the above, but were "real" men).

Now, a decade after he died, I've put it all into perspective and maybe have accepted his good and bad. But mostly I don't care. I avoid men who are like him, and I have never treated my son in the manner I was treated.

Cindi JohnsonCindi...your story almost completely mirrors mine. The only difference largely being that I was in the military too but never went to war. (I was very lucky not to have to go to Vietnam.)

My dad was a very blue collar, 12-13 hour a day, 6 day a week worker, a bread truck driver, and the sole provider for his family, and like your dad, he too was a WW II veteran who served in the Pacific theatre near the end of war. (In the Philippines) My dad had orders to be in the 3rd wave of the invasion of Japan when President Truman made the decision to drop the atomic bomb...which just may have saved not only his life but hundreds of thousands of other G.I.'s. A very sobering thought for me for most of my life is that had the atomic bombs never been dropped on Japan, my dad could very well have been killed in the subsequent invasion and I never would have been born and my brother, who was 3 at the time, would have had to have grown up without a father, much like many children of that war had to. War...such a terrible, terrible waste. :sad:

[Carin]

My dad was born in 1906. He was 65 on my 15th birthday. He did not understand my interest in engineering (he tried to get me to be an accountant :brolleyes:). He would definitely not have understood my gender spectrum, nor would he ever have been able to 'deal' with it before he died at 80. I wasn't very close to him, 5th of 6 on a farm where work took priority over most things, so I can't speak directly to how he would have felt. But I do believe that he would have been proud of me - regardless of cd'ing. I say this because I am proud of myself and my life, and given that I believe he was a reasonable person, he would have no reason not to be. Maybe a little drumming my own drum there, but honestly, I believe that he would have been able to see what I have done in life, and been proud of that.

My mother had a soft spot for me. I think she sensed the real me. She passed when I was 16 after a few years battling cancer. I sometimes wonder if she would have helped me see myself much clearer, sooner.:sad:

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Strict Irish Catholic raised in Boston...ah,... I think not!!!!

Put me down in the no column...

But my saving grace to them was "he's adopted and not of our flesh wife"!!!!! he could have always blamed it on my biological parents for my "short comings"!!!!

[Angie G]

ngie

[angelfire]

Both my parents already know, and they re-assure me they are proud of me, because despite this (or perhaps in spite of it), I am a pretty balanced individual who is intelligent, has an education, and a job. There isn't a single ounce of doubt that they are proud of me and my accomplishments. I doubt they are specifically proud of this aspect, but as a whole, I believe they are.

[Oddlee]

probably would have been my father's response. We had a pretty good relationship after I graduated from college - enjoyed similar literature and were interested in the same issues. He tended to speak in generalities and I to speak in specific examples. We traded books regularly. I visited him every 4 - 6 weeks until he died, not quite 2 years ago (I still think I should take a new book to him).

As far as I know, he had no clue about my cross-dressing, but we had enough mutual respect by the time I would have been ready to discuss CD'ing with him (the last year, roughly), that I think his response would have been this email's subject. He might have had some questions, so it could have led to another interesting discussion... I miss those...

Lee

[gagirl1]

my father is happy that i'm experimenting, and proud that i'm not a societal robot. however, i come from a very, very different family than most, despite Irish catholic upbringing.

[DawnRodgers]

Heck! Dad hasn't talked to me since he found out that I stole his favorite pair of heels.