Surpressed Memory?

[Rachaelb64]

I like life, even the boring bits, which there seems to a lot of :) But now and again life does like to throw you the odd wobble.

Mine came in the form of a book.

Some history. One of my mother's many jobs as I growing up was working in a library. Which meant now and again she use to bring the odd book or two :).

One day she brought home a book called 'Tula' about a Bond girl who turn out use to be a him. Now my mother was reading 'Tula' and I was, lets say a wee bit interested in the book as well, being 14ish, it probably my 1st insight into who I am.

I'm also not sure whether my mother had inkling of my CDing and was preparing herself :)

Now there was a point when I was 14 that I nearly turn to my mother and said 'Mum, I'm like Tula aswell', but I chicken out.

Over the years I have oftened wondered whether in would have been easy to got the whole hog and transitioned to being a woman, and to be honest I still do.

I have no doubt now if at 14 I'd told my Mother I wanted to be like Tula she would of supported me, but at 14, life is a whole lot different.

And the wobbly bit? Well there I was in a charity shop, looking as you do for something and I looked up and there as Tula's book, and the memory came flooding back.

A strange little wobble or maybe life is trying to tell me something, who knows

Thanks for reading :)

[celeste26]

I also look back and ask myself what if, but it is just a trap. We can only go forward and no matter how much I might have though about it didn't actually change anything.

[tammie]

Hi All: Well it seems 14yo is a watershed moment for many young boys who R to be girlybois.

I was 14 when I tried on a bra. It fit me so well I was stunned when I looked in the mirror, and turned into a CD forever.

Only a week or so later I was caught by my mother wearing her bra garterbelt stockings pantygirdle and slip.

Another week later and she bought me (advised by her friend) my own first bra pantygirdle and slip, to keep me out of her lingerie drawer and out of trouble. Very wise don't U think?

Now here is the watershed moment. She knew I couldn't talk to her about it, so she had a gay friend of hers talk to me about sex and wearing women's clothes.

He was not to much older than me, younger than my parents.

After explaining that boys can be raped and that there R some things to be careful of, he offered me a stunning opportunity.

If I wanted to stay in Tenn when my family moved to New Orleans, I could live with he and his partner and finsih HS at a private school that allowed more "self expression" and I could be a girl if I wanted.

The knee jerk response from me was no thankyou, but I really didn't understand how my life would have changed, or what it really meant.

Pity that as I have had 2 failed marriages and perhaps I would have been happier overall who can say.

[Deborah Jane]

Now theres a name that brings memories flooding back.
I remember seeing Tula myself when she appeared as a "Bond" girl. I also saw her in real life in the role of "Super Cecillia" when she appeared at one the "Custom Car" magazine shows during the 1970s. [She was gorgeous in real life too]
At that time i was about 13 or 14 and anything i saw and read about crossdressers or transexuals made me totally unsure of myself. It was a real case of total fascination wondering about what it would be like to become a woman and not knowing who i really was.

Was it meant to be, who knows?
But i often wonder :daydreaming:

And the "wobble"?
Reading your post about Tula, Rachael :)

[Jenna Lynne]

Does anybody else remember "The Dreaming Jewels" by Theodore Sturgeon? There's a chapter near the end where the young hero (I think his name is Horty) has to morph his body into a female shape as a disguise.

And of course, Tip turning into Ozma -- I remember being impressed by that too.

***Jenna Lynne***

[tricia_uktv]

Its easy, write the book yourself :)

[Rachaelb64]

Now theres a name that brings memories flooding back.
I remember seeing Tula myself when she appeared as a "Bond" girl. I also saw her in real life in the role of "Super Cecillia" when she appeared at one the "Custom Car" magazine shows during the 1970s. [She was gorgeous in real life too]
At that time i was about 13 or 14 and anything i saw and read about crossdressers or transexuals made me totally unsure of myself. It was a real case of total fascination wondering about what it would be like to become a woman and not knowing who i really was.

Was it meant to be, who knows?
But i often wonder :daydreaming:

And the "wobble"?
Reading your post about Tula, Rachael :)


I know what you mean, a strange mixure of attaction and rejection :)

[keena]

I occasionally read CD stories but I much prefer writing them. I have about 60 short stories (35 to 150 kilobytes) that I would love to share (free) but have never been able to figure out how. Any ideas?

[Kate Lynn]

I occasionally read CD stories but I much prefer writing them. I have about 60 short stories (35 to 150 kilobytes) that I would love to share (free) but have never been able to figure out how. Any ideas?

you could include them in your web page if you have one

[TommiTN]

I occasionally read CD stories but I much prefer writing them. I have about 60 short stories (35 to 150 kilobytes) that I would love to share (free) but have never been able to figure out how. Any ideas?


How about the "Writer's Society" section on this forum? Any reason they can't be published there?