What have I done.

[pinkeverything]

My relationship is in ruins. I have a 2 year old daughter. My stomach is rolling continuously. I feel lower than a snakes belly in a wagon rut.

Coming out to my SO as a crossdresser has made me a pin cushion. Granted, she isn't a very good person. She takes shots at absolutely everything, constantly taking notes so that she can take aim at a later date. But, now I'm the target. I'm the weirdo. I'm the loser.

I've told her that I am not interested in any level of communication with her until she apologizes for the things that she has said and done. She won't. She's gone so far as to insult me and target my dead father. I won't tolerate it now matter what anybody says. On the other hand, I realize that an ultimatum that attempts to force someone into apologizing will never work either. So..................

[Nicole Erin]

There is no communicating with some people.
Get the hell out of the relationship. Yes you have the kid but if you two stay together, it will be a really miserable household.

Like I said, there just is no communicating with some people. They are misunderstanding rude nasty people. One is better off trying to have a good loving French kiss with a cobra.

[deja true]

...Coming out to my SO as a crossdresser has made me a pin cushion. Granted, she isn't a very good person. She takes shots at absolutely everything, constantly taking notes so that she can take aim at a later date.....


It's harsh, but gotta agree with the Mademoiselle...

Mental abuse is as bad or worse that physical abuse.

You wanna live in that world for the next many years?

Me neither!

Sorry!

[Margot]

You have a 2 yr old child. There's always ways to talk things through.

Good Luck
Margot

[Alice B]

If what you say is true then it is time to get an attorney and move on. You and your daughter will be far more happy and have a much better life. Divorce is tough, but from one that is experienced you will be amazed at how quickly life becomes fun again.:hugs:

[docrobbysherry]

If what you say is true then it is time to get an attorney and move on. You and your daughter will be far more happy and have a much better life. Divorce is tough, but from one that is experienced you will be amazed at how quickly life becomes fun again.:hugs:

I've had the SAME experience! And it was better for my child AND me, AFTER my ex and I separated.

Even if you're not married, u will still need a GOOD attorney. To help u with custody sharing issues. Because of your CDing, your soon to be ex, could use that against u when it comes to custody! U need that attorney now! :sad:

[MJ]

i am sorry to hear this but deta is right :- Mental abuse is as bad or worse that physical abuse.
you need to be happy and enjoy life. and you know it will never get better i am sorry to say cut your losses and get out.
yes she will tell everyone your secret and try to use it against you but you are doing nothing wrong . your dammed if you do and dammed if you don't .
get a lawyer your beautiful child will love you just be there for her but do yourself a favor and move on .
i wish you all the best

[Cathytg]

Now, why would you want to stay when you have already said "Granted, she isn't a very good person."? Are both you and your little girl better off away from her? Dressing seems to have very little to do with this. maybe we all need to get a little perspective and see dressing for what it is and for the place it takes in our life.

[pinkeverything]

If what you say is true then it is time to get an attorney and move on. You and your daughter will be far more happy and have a much better life. Divorce is tough, but from one that is experienced you will be amazed at how quickly life becomes fun again.:hugs:

I have already achieved shared custody though the courts. She is currently trying to mount a case against me on the premise that my daughter is with her 60% of the time. She certainly has been lately, but there have been months where she was with me more than 60%. She wants money, plain and simple. She is bragging about a "pie chart" that shows how much time she is spending with her.

I have really pulled back in the last few weeks, allowing our daughter to spend much of the time with her while I attempt to get a handle over my stomach and spinning head. I've put a lot of focus into my work and my studies, so that in the event of a custody battle, I'll be armed. I can't see a matter of a few days here and there being anything more than a waste of the courts time, so in that respect, I almost want her to try it.

She threatens me with telling the judge about being a crossdresser. My reply was that all of the female clothes that I have were given to me by her. In addition, I don't think that judges feel that they have any business in the bedrooms of the citizens.

This sucks though.

[Angie G]

I'm sorry foe you hun I wish I could really help other then to say don't stay in it for the child. It wont work and the child may suffer even more. Time to lawyer up hun. :hugs:
Angie

[pinkeverything]

I've had the SAME experience! And it was better for my child AND me, AFTER my ex and I separated.

Even if you're not married, u will still need a GOOD attorney. To help u with custody sharing issues. Because of your CDing, your soon to be ex, could use that against u when it comes to custody! U need that attorney now! :sad:


How could this be used against me?

[trannie T]

It seems that you're going to be better off without her, you need a good attorney.

[Tina B.]

40 years ago my ex tried to use my CD'ing against me, the judge was not moved by it, I doubt that a judge today would be, unless you are doing things in front of the child that a judge would find inaproprate. But I had a great lawyer and I suggest you find one yourself. Because we are different, we need to be sure we are well represented.
At times like this cover all your bases, leave nothing that you will regret.
Good Luck!
Tina B.

[DonnaT]

You have already achieved shared custody though the courts, telling me you are already divorced.

I doubt the 60% thing is going to influence a custody hearing. I doubt any judge would think it possible for two people to always have be with their child 50% of the time,

I imagine that there would have to be an egregious act on your, or her. part for a judge to revisit custody.

If you can, just ignor her taunts, but if you can't, make sure you don't repond with anger. She could be video taping y'alls interaction, especially in fron of your child.

[CD Susan]

I know what you are going through Pinkeverything. I hope that you will not make the same mistake that I did. When I came out to my wife she would not accept it and this was the beginning of hell for me. She was very verbaly abusive and said many cruel and hurtfull things to me. The marriage was doomed but yet we stayed together only for the sake of our son who was nine years old at the time. After eight long years of living in hell I filed for divorce. She didn't do it because she was enjoying the free ride of me supporting her while she had the freedom of a single woman. I am glad to be rid of her and now I am living a happy life again.

[Mollyanne]

Like soooo many of the girls have said already; " Get a GOOD lawyer" and I mean "GOOD"!!!!! Coming from a situation not nearly as bad as yours(many years ago) I told my lawyer"Go for the jugular" you can always negotiate later, but right now your SO must be kept at arms length and legally boxed in.

Good luck no matter how this turns out and once the "dust settles" you will feel better after awhile.

:love: Mollyanne

[pinkeverything]

You have already achieved shared custody though the courts, telling me you are already divorced.

I doubt the 60% thing is going to influence a custody hearing. I doubt any judge would think it possible for two people to always have be with their child 50% of the time,

I imagine that there would have to be an egregious act on your, or her. part for a judge to revisit custody.

If you can, just ignor her taunts, but if you can't, make sure you don't repond with anger. She could be video taping y'alls interaction, especially in fron of your child.

Thanks, this is exactly what I thought, which means that it is I who am armed, should this ever go before the courts again. Regardless, it is a difficult situation.


I know what you are going through Pinkeverything. I hope that you will not make the same mistake that I did. When I came out to my wife she would not accept it and this was the beginning of hell for me. She was very verbaly abusive and said many cruel and hurtfull things to me. The marriage was doomed but yet we stayed together only for the sake of our son who was nine years old at the time. After eight long years of living in hell I filed for divorce. She didn't do it because she was enjoying the free ride of me supporting her while she had the freedom of a single woman. I am glad to be rid of her and now I am living a happy life again.

Thanks, I agree. I've got to move on.

[Vicki65]

I am divorced, because I was a sh1t and had an affair.

I had a 2 year old son. My wife absolutely hated me - rightly so - and I spent a long long time in the depths of despair, treated for depression.

However, time is a great healer. Several years on my ex and I get on just fine now, my son is a balanced, normal, good mannered kid who I see frequently, and I am remarried to the finest woman in the world who supports my crossdressing, knows about my past, and loves me just the same.

Things will get better. Move on, grit your teeth and hang in there.

[pinkeverything]

I am divorced, because I was a sh1t and had an affair.

I had a 2 year old son. My wife absolutely hated me - rightly so - and I spent a long long time in the depths of despair, treated for depression.

However, time is a great healer. Several years on my ex and I get on just fine now, my son is a balanced, normal, good mannered kid who I see frequently, and I am remarried to the finest woman in the world who supports my crossdressing, knows about my past, and loves me just the same.

Things will get better. Move on, grit your teeth and hang in there.

That is exactly what I neede to hear. Thank you. All I can wish for at this point is that my child will be a balanced, normal, good mannered kid. There are signs that it is difficult for her, but, if this is the way it has to be, then I will do what has to be done.

Thank you for the support everyone. I feel better each time I read your replies. It's tough, no doubt about it.