Have you been asked why by shop assistants

[joanne51]

When you've been out shopping either en femme or in drab, have any shop assistants asked you why you dress?

What has been your answer, and has it lead to a friendly discussion with advice from them on what to look for in the store?

Joanne

[Angie G]

I haven't gotten there yet.:hugs:
Angie

[Kristen Marie]

Usually not at first, but one I have known for a while (she sells make-up) has asked me a lot of questions. I told her that , first of all, I enjoy doing it. I feel comfortable and relaxed when I am Kristen. It's more of a natural dialog rather than a Q & A You will find the right words.

[Magickman]

There have been some amusing moments with shop assistants, both male and female.

Usually, the "Helpful" shop assistant says loudly (in front of other people) "These are women's shoes", or jeans, shorts, skirt, skort, etc. I just smile and say 'Thank you."

There are private fitting rooms for trying on clothing, so no one is watching.
When buying shoes or boots, though, it is all out in the open. Many was the time, at a shoe sale, when I was elbow to armpit with a crowd of women, digging out bargain footwear, and trying them on in front of an audience.

But nobody in a store, neither customer nor employee, ever engaged me in a discussion about why I dress.

Last evening, however, at the Karaoke bar, several women wanted to talk about my dressing. "Do you like boys or girls?" I was asked. "How do you expect to pick up women in that spandex outfit?" "Why are you dressed like that?"

"Girls," I answered. "Depends on how heavy they are." "So women can admire my legs."

Most of the women who offered comments were complimentary. They said they liked my legs, fingernail polish, earrings, and stiletto boots.

The referee's shirt, from the sporting goods store, also attracted attention, without being controversial. I am a guy who sedulously avoids controversy.

[Carol A]

You know sometimes it is so funny the looks you get or peoples mouth just drop and don't know what to say.
Do you know her size? yes I know MY size as it's for me.
I had a very young lady yesterday in wal mart try to help me with stockings and when I told her they were for me thank you she almost died from shock. Live is full of fun :eek:

[Jolene]

In the end all we are doing is buying clothes. It would be nice if more people would understand us but it is nice to hear that some here have had positive experences.

Jolene :)

[Karren H]

Other than compliments on my tastes in womens clothing all they ask me is "Cash or Credit?". Lol

[Nicole Erin]

whether I am asking for help with something or just paying for what I found, I have never been asked anything about my CD'ing. Of course I make it a point to not make conversation with the cashier.
I think for me tho is some people think I look like a psycho, so I don't get bothered a whole lot anyways.

[Kate Lynn]

When you've been out shopping either en femme or in drab, have any shop assistants asked you why you dress?

What has been your answer, and has it lead to a friendly discussion with advice from them on what to look for in the store?

Joanne

I've never been asked why I dress,but I have been told,"they will look good on you,and be careful don't forget where you live".
:drink:

[jennylogan]

I was making a purchase of several blouses and skirts at a local upscale store when the 60ish SA smiled at me and asked if I was sure these were the right size. She did this in a non threatening tone and I just smiled and said that if they weren't I'd bring them back. She wished me luck and told me not to lose my sales receipt. No big deal and because of that I have purchased a ton of stuff from that store even though I could get pretty much the same things cheaper elsewhere.

[suchacutie]

I have, to this point, always shopped in drab, with or without my wife. Mostly when my wife is present the sales people never seem to help, but when buying shoes, it's pretty clear when I go to one size area and she goes to another, so I have had SAs ask, "as these for you?". When I say yes all they want to do is help more!

What fun!

tina

[Leohose]

not why but if you say its for you they offer all sorts of help:)

[muggsybear]

I've been asked about my dressing a couple of times, and always when I was in drab. The early morning checkout clerk at a local Wal-Mart rang up some cosmetics before realizing those were followed by some pantyhose, a matching bra and panty set then a long sweater I thought I could use as a dress. Without skipping a beat she told me that the sweater would go great with my eyes and said I should make sure I wore a slip underneath it all. I thanked her and told her I would. I also got read rather quickly at a small lingerie shop a number of years ago and those questions grew into a pretty nice friendship that lasted until I moved away. It makes it a lot easier when they know what you are into and a lot more enjoyable when you know they understand.

[Sara Jessica]

Since I am a very loyal customer of a particular chain of boutiques, I've had honest conversations with some of the various SA's since they kind of know me better than the average customer who might come in once or twice, then disappear. For the most part each one had demonstrated a tremendous degree of acceptance which was only enhanced by our subsequent conversations about this whole tg thing.

[RachelDenise]

I've never been asked but when they start with a question about sizes, I mention that it is for me. Most of the SA's go on as professionally as you would expect. Nobody has yet asked me why or how. I do dream about meeting an understanding woman and hoping a friendship develops that way.

[Jennifer Soames]

I went shopping for Lingerie yesterday and got to the store at 8:30am. It is a small outlet store and there are about 3 others, and I had been there before. I was greeted with a big smile and the SA said she remembered me. We selected some outfits and chatted and she put me into a dressing room and bought over other lingerie she thought I might like. After a while and several female customers browsing she came and got me (all clear)and we chatted for about 10 minutes. She told me all of the other staff were cool with CD and that they had some very long standing CD clients.

I purchased a very sheer Cami and matching panties. She said she hoped I enjoyed them and I asked if the other stores in the chain were as accepting. She said she did not know but that over the years many men came in and she felt people are just people and very few of people understood themselves. She sought of finished the converstaion with a just be who you are.

People close to you look for the why, people you dont know well, such as SA, generally look to thier needs and that is to sell. women you meet in a bar are out for entertainment and I guess a CD can be very entertaining. None of what I have said makes these people good or bad but simply humans living thier life.


These are my thoughts and experience.

Jenny

[RavenAndrea]

I have been fortunate enough not to have had a rude sales clerk / cashier experience. The only shopping for woman's attire that I have not attempted is being fitted for a bra. Until the hormones have done their job (if ever), I will purchase my pocket bras (for silicone breast forms) on-line.

Older Andrea

[Deborah Jane]

I,ve only ever shopped in drab so far and apart from the occasional joke with SAs, i,ve never been asked it was for me.

[Tasha McIntyre]

I have never had a rude sales assistant or dressing room attendant, but I have been asked a couple of times whether I was aware that I had a ladies dress to try on.

One time though, I took a couple of young girls by surprise at the change rooms, dropped jaws and wide eyes etc. I heard one of them get on the phone to someone whilst I was in the change rooms. A minute later I heard an older lady (assuming she was part of managememt) come over and say to the girls, no problem at all - happens all the time.

My turn to drop the jaw - must be more common than I thought!

[maid phylis]

in all the shops that i bought my female clothing i was never asked why i was buying this clothing.first of all when i went in to the shop i told the sales girls that the clothing was for me.then they asked me what i was looking for and if it was lingerie i told them that i was looking for bras,they then showed me the brand i was looking for and then i asked if i could try them on.no problem and they showed me to the changing room and they even helped me with the straps .girdles were the same and i was able to try them on and i was always wellcomed when i returned again.to me this is just be up front with them and they will not ask why and they will help you in your sales. phylisanne:love:

[Serena]

I have never had a rude sales assistant or dressing room attendant, but I have been asked a couple of times whether I was aware that I had a ladies dress to try on.

One time though, I took a couple of young girls by surprise at the change rooms, dropped jaws and wide eyes etc. I heard one of them get on the phone to someone whilst I was in the change rooms. A minute later I heard an older lady (assuming she was part of managememt) come over and say to the girls, no problem at all - happens all the time.

My turn to drop the jaw - must be more common than I thought!

Haha that reminds me of a funny story from my younger years. My friends 'convinced' me to try on a prom dress at a Macy's in the mall one time, and they gave me a bunch of girl's clothing to try on, then I got paranoid and thought they were watching you so I stopped, and when I came out these women gave me this really weird look when I was carrying all the girls' clothes lol. But now I know better, I was just paranoid when I was younger.

And no, one salesperson has asked me why I dress, they've just been very kind to me :)

[emmicd]

I'm too shy to engage in conversation and no one has asked me about my clothing purchases. I can shop for womens clothes pretty easily but am shy when approached for assistance. I usually just say I'm just looking and politely say thank you!

I am also shy in shopping in a small boutique or a lingerie only store. I usually shop in Target, or a main store at the Mall like a JC Penney's or Macy's.

I have bought a dress at Ann Taylor Loft but would certainly not ask to try it on. I just make sure I get one size larger!

emmi

[Emma England]

I have never been asked why.

Have had sa's ask me whether I would like to try something on.

I get them asking whether I am ok. I always say fine thanks, especially if I am just browsing.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I have not had that happen to me. I have been called sir once while dressed! In my opinion that is a inappropriate question unless you reveal yourself.

[Desiree2bababe]

Yes, many times. I love it! Just wish one of them would take me home........

[yvettes]

Hello girls"

I think this topic is one of the most interesting thing's we girls do.I've been shopping in drab and dressed.One of my first experience was at a lingerie store.I was dress casual kind of both way's a nice slacks and shirt.I went into the store and there were other ladies there.the SA told me to look around and she would be with me in a few.After about 3 min.She came up to me and ask what she could do to help me.I was looking for a bra and panty set and told her 36-a and a 7 panty.she said she could help but not all bras are the same for fit and told me I could try some on if I would like.I got red faced and wonder how she read me so fast,hahah good old VPL.Well she made me feel very at ease and I tried on several bras and got 2 that I like.I also purchased off white hose I thought would look great with a dress I had at home.When I got home I realized I had left the hose there.I called her store and she said they were on the counter.I ask if I could come and get them.It was about closing time.she said yes no problen just knock when I get there.I surprized her by getting fully dressed and put on the dress I bought the hose for.when I got there I knock and she came to the door and at first said soory closed then realized it was me and gave me a big smile.Told me I was very nice looking and gave me a fe tips on make up.I also put on the hose at her request and stuff my pantyhose in my purse.she told me her daughter would love that dress.We have become very good freinds.She has told me on several occaison that when she look's at me she see's a preety lady.Wow what a girls want's to hear.Well better end this for now as it's getting long.
LOL yvettes

[Lesley Ann]

I always shop wearing ladies jeans/pants, tops or jumpers and always a bra, what I call semi-drab. The only time a comment was made was when I was purchasing a pair of shoes, the SA (male) almost shouted out as he looked at the shoes "Size 8"? i replied "Good heavens, you can read"
Best wishes, Lesley Ann.

[CharleneT]

Have never had any comments like those mentioned above. Only once has an SA ever really said anything other than "charge or cash". I was at a resell shop and went thru the line with a dress and some shorts and a cami, the SA at the register looked at them, looked at me, and said "wait a minute....", went over to a rack of clothes that had not been put out yet and brought two other tops back. Then she said "these are very similar and are also on sale, interested ?" I looked them over, decided that neither was what I wanted and returned them to her (she was quite right, they were great choices, just not for me). After I finished paying she gave me a big smile and told me to come back soon - mentioning a big sale at the end of the next month.

I do most of my shopping in drab and I do a LOT of shopping! I've had a couple, really only a couple, of strange looks from SA's. Mostly they don't even notice what you are buying/trying on. Due to my shape, I try on almost everything I buy, so I've been in and out of a lot of dressing rooms. No comments there ever.

[Emma England]

Emma, you should grab the opportunity! If the assistant says: "Are you OK?" the appropriate reply is: "Actually I'm hoping to spend oodles of money on the most gorgeous dress that will make me feel like Queen of the May. Do you have that in my size?"

Then you just go on from there. It could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship -- or a beautiful credit arrangement at any rate...

Katie B

If only I had oodles of money! :daydreaming: :D

[sissystephanie]

I have been asked why numerous times! I always tell the SA that I like the fit, feel, and look of feminine clothes far more than male clothing. I have also been asked, in a dress department, if I wore panties and a bra. Of course I told that SA that I dressed entirely as a female, including my undies. She helped me pick out two skirts and two tops and had me try them on. She did get to see my hot pink silk panties and matching bra. I think she was a little jealous!:heehee:

I shop at a lot of the local stores in the Atlanta area, and in most of them the SA's know me. If I walk into the Nordstrom's ladies department, an SA will usually ask, "do you want me to start a dressing room for you, Stephanie?" They call me that even if I am in total drab! Actually, it is rare that I am in total drab, since I usually shop as a guy in a skirt! The SA's at Victoria's Secret, Kohls, Avenue, and Macy's treat me the same way. They know I almost always buy something, and that is what they want to happen!

Stephanie

Lady on the ouside, but man underneath!

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Never had a experence like that yet either they don't know or don't care

[Laurie909]

The woman who used to do my alterations and dressmaking for me never asked my why I did it. One day I started talking about why I did it and she seemed uncomfortable about it, so I never mentioned the "whys" again.

[faltenrock]

No never, people talked to me though, telling me that skirt looks sweet or whatever, but I've never been asked why I dress

[Fiona Lindum]

I often have a chat with the SA's in most stores that I use. I find that most are comfortable with talking and most are willing to give me tips on what to wear or not to wear.

[sissystephanie]

I was in rather fancy shoe store recently, wearing total drab. I was looking at some nice womens sandals in a display when a male clerk came up and said, "you do know those are womens shoes, don't you sir?" I just turned and said, "yes, I know. I prefer to wear womens shoes and clothing!" He never even blinked, and just told me that he had some shoes he would like to show me. To keep the story short, I wound up buying just under $200.00 worth of ladies shoes and love every pair. Not that is good salesperson!

Stephanie

Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

[SherriePall]

I have made some friendships over the years with some lovely SA's and the subject has been discussed among other things about CDing. As for the casual encounter with an SA, it hasn't been asked.

[WildLotus29]

I usually keep to myself when I shop... maybe one day I'll be a little more chatty.

[Jess_cd32]

I haven't gotten there yet.:hugs:
Angie
Ditto on that. I've gone as far as buying some lingerie in stores but nothing like shoes, dresses. That I'll get online not to have to deal w/ them.

[Skirtboy]

I have only had one such conversation with a shopgirl. Whilst shopping at Goodwill, I asked one of the girls there what the price on a dress was, as it was not in the same rack as the rest of them (it was mixed in with the men's suits by a carelss coustomer.) She asked me if I realized it was a dress, and why I would want to buy it. I told her I needed a lot of room (she was very cute). The funniest thing was that she told me the "denim shorts" I was holding would probably fit better. (I was holding a skirt in the other hand.)

[Mitch23]

trouble is that when I try on something and it looks good then I have to have it - so it costs a fortune.....

I always go girly shopping en femme and I think most of the stores I go in kinda know me so not a big deal for them. Have been asked if that is my real hair and how do i get that flat line when wearing skinny jeans

mitch

[Sissy April]

Never been asked why. Most of the time they are very helpful.

[Misfire]

Most of the time (almost all the time its a woman) doesn't say or do anything short of a double-take or a strange look and just rings me up. There's been a handful of times where she's jokingly asked if it was for my girlfriend. It doesn't stop me from shopping though because if I see something cute that I cannot live without, I am so getting it regardless of what anyone thinks.

[khloey]

I have been asked once and the shop assistant undstood telling me I looked beautiful.

[Stormgirl]

*straight face* ma'am that is classified

[CD Susan]

No I have never been asked that particular question. However last week I was in a store and bought 12 pairs of earrings because I am getting my ears pierced soon. The sa women asked me three times during the sale if I wanted a gift box for my purchase. The first two times I said "no that will not be neccesary". When she asked me this the third time I looked her straight in the eye and said "these earrings are for myself and I do not need a gift box". She looked shocked but did say anything more to me other than "thank you" when she handed me the earrings in a bag with the reciept. I think it was her first experience in selling something femme to a cd in drab.

[Joanne f]

I have only shopped in male mode (sorry can`t get use to the word drab), but i have been asked if i was taking things in to try on for my wife and i would answer" no" it`s for me , one asked is it for fancy dress and i said no, most just ask was it OK .
In shops were they only have female changing rooms they say if it does no fit bring it back , and in one New Look of all place`s they let me try a long button down dress on while holding back the females in case of complaints ( not because they wanted my body):D and when i came out advised me how to wear it , now that was amusing to see a line of females waiting when i came out with a dress.:o





joanne :fairy2:

[Mirani]

A few years ago, a friend (who knew me) had a freind who owned 2 dress shops. She told her about me and said I was welcome anytime in male or female mode.

I went there and she brought me a selection of clothes, dresses and separates, to try on. Even gave me shoes to wear so I could see them properly.

Anyway, I bought a matching top and skirt. After the transaction, she told me, "Feel free to come back anytime. You dont need to feel you have to buy anything. Many of my women customers try things on and dont buy anything."

She made me feel "normal". What a gift!

[anouk]

I have quite a similar experience as Mirani. My tg-friend arranged a private session in a tiny fashion shop. The very friendly lady helped me to find my style during an hour. After heaps of wonderful dresses, skirts and tops I finalyy chose my favourite one.

[Dalece]

Yes And I tell them why and they have excepted the reason and all have helped me with my selections of clothes. They are both younger and older women. And now when I go to those stores they refer to me as she. Even when a few of us are talking together I'm refered to as she or her. It Is a great feeling.:daydreaming:

[Eric/a]

My experience has been about the same as most of the ones I've read, insofar as SAs usually being very helpful no matter what you're buying or for whom. I think the only time I've ever taken one of them by surprise is when I was picking up a special order for several pairs of sandals at a Payless store. Long story short, the SA or manager who set up the order for me wasn't the same one who was working 10 days later, or whenever it came in. When I went to pick it up, I just told her I'd gotten a message on my answering machine that my special order was in, gave her my name, etc., and she went to the back and brought up a large box. All she knew was that it was for four pairs of shoes, and when we opened up the box to make sure they'd sent the right ones, she looked surprised when they turned out to be ladies' high wedge mules or slides, whichever they're called. I'd gotten four pairs because of the BOGO deal, getting one pair and another one for half off, and I knew the same kind wouldn't be available after this year's supply ran out! After we made sure they were all the same style and size, I asked her if it would be OK to try one pair on, just to make sure they'd fit. She looked around and asked me, "Is she here?" I just said that they were for me, trying not to make too much of a big deal out of it, like they were four baseball caps or something. She was definitely surprised, but she just said, "Oh...sure, OK." I was in drab, in shorts, tennis shoes, Polo shirt, etc., so I guess there wasn't anything that would have given me away until then except for my legs being shaved and my toenails being red, which could be seen when I tried on the sandals. I walked around the store a little and stood and turned different ways in front of the mirror. (I've made sort of a study of how GGs do all that when they're trying on new shoes or sandals, and tried to imitate them the best I could.) That style was a "special order only" item that I'd seen on the website, and it was the first time she'd seen them. After she got past the shock, she said they really did look like a lot of fun, and that she'd have to order some herself. I hope she did, because it's always nice to see GGs wearing "my" sandals, especially if it's a style they didn't know about until I "modeled" it for them!:D

[Kayla_CD]

I usually have a reason up front, like that I'm going to a fancy dress party or something like that. Halloween is the best time for this excuse. I know I'm not completely honest, but it usually ilicits a good bit of help from the staff. I had one woman taking good care of me for almost an hour, running stuff to and from the changeroom because she sensed I was a bit nervous.