Being with a man [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

Megan70

09-15-2008, 05:22 AM

I am not gay but I suppose I am bisexual to some extent. When I am in my male mode I do not have any interest in being with a guy. But when I am dressed I have a strong desire to be with a man, to be treated like a lady.
I have been talking to guys over the internet but have not acted on this desires.
I am married and I really do love my wife. But when I am dressed up I want to be the lady that I am and want to have sex with a man. I know that would be cheating but it just so overwelms me. Anyone else have this problem? Would it be wrong? I dont know really I just get really confused over this issue. Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated
YES Alexandria, I've felt exactly that way for a long time now. I have never acted on it but am at the point where I think I would and label it bi-curious or sexual experimentation instead of being gay which I'm not.
I've been married 37 year and have always been faithfully but if the opportunity were there at this gay bar we CD's hang out at I'd probably do it,maybe even intitiate the move myself but worry about the guilt I would feel the next day,,, .

The urge gets stronger every year that usally when i sleep dressed in lingerie, and I must take care of needs.. Anyone else's turn to be so bold and 'fess up? Hummmmm?

Megan

MsJanessa

09-15-2008, 05:45 AM

darling you are what you are and you think what you think----can't help that--I'm sure there isn't a married person alive who hasn't at sometime fantasized about being with someone else---it's what you do about it that matters.

Carroll

09-15-2008, 05:47 AM

Of course it's bloody wrong, you're married for crying out loud... I wish some of you would get a clue, dressing does not excuse cheating.... :rolleyes:

See, now thats one reason I really like you. Blunt and straight to the point:D

Megan70

09-15-2008, 06:01 AM

See, now thats one reason I really like you. Blunt and straight to the point:D

...even with the british "bloddy" spin to it to emphasis the point.
Right on ya all.

Alexandria9919

09-15-2008, 06:30 AM

Of course it's bloody wrong, you're married for crying out loud... I wish some of you would get a clue, dressing does not excuse cheating.... :rolleyes:

I never said I would go thru with it and I even made the statement it would be cheating. But you cant tell me no one else married has never thought about it, straight, gay or cd's. Sometimes a person needs to talk to someone about the way they are feeling. I thought I could talk on here about it without being condemned. All I was doing was expressing the way I feel. It is confusing but I NEVER said I would do it.
But isn't dressing also cheating or at least deceiving if u dont share it with your significant other? Anyways that is a whole other story.
Thank you to everyone else that gave positive advice and a little understanding

Nadia-Maria

09-15-2008, 06:46 AM

I thought I could talk on here about it without being condemned. All I was doing was expressing the way I feel. It is confusing but I NEVER said I would do it.

Yes, and I do believe you could talk on here about it without being condemned.

Curiously, whenever I read a thread like this one I get the feeling that on this forum certainly much less than 1 person out of 1000 would ever cheat.
Nevertheless my statistics concerning ethics in the general population use to be at odds with that. Maybe I live in another world (or just in another country ...).
It seems that the vast majority of the people in this forum are much more ethic than usual, or at least they let understand they are.

Congratulations to all of us for this high level of "ethics" !

Regards

Nadia

P.S. The same with doping ; I have still to meet a very successful sportsman admitting he dopes himself.

09-15-2008, 06:49 AM

the thing is there are limits to cding when dressed yes it would be great to be treated like a lady but how far would you go ?

if you want me to treat you like a woman .. then come over to my house and do my laundry for me :D

for me being treated like a woman is just respect for my gender thats all

victoriamwilliams1

09-15-2008, 07:33 AM

I had the same feeling when I started back and I refused to act on them! However I did meet an admire once who was very creepy and touchy plus he begged for a kiss and so I could get away from him I let him kiss me on the lip and I wanted to knock him out when I was back in male mode. Plus on the way out he held my hand but it was as far as I ever have or will go with a male while dressed in fem mode!!!!

I am happy now with the doors being held open foe me.

Holly

09-15-2008, 08:03 AM

...Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciatedI will have been married 40 years before 2008 is finished. Here is my advice to you; if you love your wife as much as you say you do, then concentrate your efforts in strengthening that bond and relationship and forget about what it would be like to be with anyone else, regardless of your gender status... trans, bi, straight, it makes no difference. A marriage is mental, physical, and emotional commitment... a commitment you promised to honor. You should consider the fact that you even have to ask the question a warning sign.

janet1234

09-15-2008, 08:43 AM

from what I learn from a therapist, that the female component of our makeup, not only causes us to dress but may also implant in our minds the desire or at least the thought to go farther. Having noted that, I suggest we all be very careful about acting on bisexual tendencies. It would be called cheating. However, some marriages have deteriorated to the point where cheating is a moot point. We all know about the Indian who said we should not judge another brave until we have walked a mile in his moccasins.

Annemarie

09-15-2008, 09:08 AM

Alot of admirers are fantasists, only about 20 % will be serious about meeting you in person, and even less will treat you like a normal human being (let alone a lady). The vast majority will just want a ONS, it is very rare for there to be any meaningful admirer-Cdr relationship. If I were you I would not stake a solid LTR for the fickle world of admirers, it is bound to end in disappointment and disillusion.

Jocelyn Renee

09-15-2008, 09:59 AM

It is quite common for TGs to fantasize about being with a man. I believe the confusion stems from the fact that we aren't (or don't want to believe we are) attracted to men in drab. It's very difficult to prevent ideas from popping into our heads, but as others have pointed out, it would be wrong to act on them. Actually, I think it's wrong to participate in sexual conversations on the Internet with men as well. I suspect your wife would feel the same way.

Sharon

09-15-2008, 10:05 AM

I won't get into the morals of your question, though I agree with the naysayers above, but just be careful you don't confuse fantasy with reality. Do you really want a man to have sex with you and to perform just as if you were female? Or are you just allowing your momentary infatuation with your image to take you places you wouldn't otherwise want to go? Dressed or not, you are still you. And if you don't want sex with a man as a man, then why would you want it as a man dressed as a woman?

2b.Lauren

09-15-2008, 10:52 AM

Lots of great comments in this area. I certainly can't add anymore to what has already been said. As a professional family counselor I have seen many marriages break up over fantasy that has spilled into reality. I too have struggled with the various questions, feelings and desires. I like the point made about fantisizing about men when dressed but not while dressed as a man. I am not sure if there is an easy deliniation here. If you have a fantasy then it is probably common in your life in either stage, you may have stronger urges when dressed as a lady verses man but I am sure they are still there just easier to deny. I will change hats in order to be more of myself verses my profession. I guess the real question is have you had fantasies in your youth before you started dressing or when you did, and then did you act on them when you were free to do so , before the commitment you made to your spouse. This can really muddy up the water. You can only struggle with this no matter what gender mode you are in. I had sexaul experiences with men when I was younger, and some of them were not ideal. I don't have to explain I think it is pretty obvious where I am going. That too has only caused confusion in my life. Counselors need counselors and I do have a good one that is aware of things and becomes more enlightened with each visit. I don't think I am being extremely coherent here. I want to say I indentify with the conflict, that I also struggle with this, but am aware of the fact that it permeates not only my hidden life as Lauren but also my outward life as me! I just right now do not act on the feelings but also don't try to deny or not deal with them. It is cheating no matter how we look at it. So I won't even attempt to glamorize that. Sorry I also wish I could answer these questions for myself better, and maybe done a better job here.

Angie G

09-15-2008, 10:54 AM

It would be wrong to do what you are thinking. Your married and sex with someone other than your wife can't happen. I to wonder what it would be like but would NEVER DO IT.:hugs:
Angie

Raven Wynter Rayne

09-15-2008, 11:33 AM

CHEATING plan and simple...Unless Your wife knows, but remember You would have to let Her explore any sexual desires of Hers. Where does that leave You???

Patricia1

09-15-2008, 11:34 AM

The very fact that we all dress as women to express the feminine in us suggests a great deal indeed. If you dress as a woman & wish to be seen as a woman, then the logical next step would be to be taken as a woman, with all the implications. Let's face it squarely - if you put on the clothes you're putting on the persona. If you think of yourself as "straight" is this what "straight" men do? We all probably rarely travel this tortured logical road - the contradictions & confusions would lead no where productive. We know that we were born this way & most of us don't torture ourselves with the sexual implications, but they are there nevertheless. I have fantasized myself about sex with men - it is a logical and emotional extension of my femininity. I do not travel beyond that line but the line is always there. I refer you to Dr. "Alice" Novik's website aliceingenderland.com for more insights. Kindness and understanding are called for at all times in our discussions.

Melinda G

09-15-2008, 11:38 AM

The thought crosses my mind, from time to time. But not ready to act on it.

bobi jean

09-15-2008, 11:46 AM

I am not gay but I suppose I am bisexual to some extent. When I am in my male mode I do not have any interest in being with a guy. But when I am dressed I have a strong desire to be with a man, to be treated like a lady. I have been talking to guys over the internet but have not acted on this desires.
I am married and I really do love my wife. But when I am dressed up I want to be the lady that I am and want to have sex with a man. I know that would be cheating but it just so overwelms me. Anyone else have this problem? Would it be wrong? I dont know really I just get really confused over this issue. Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated

I have in the past had a few same sex experiences, all while dressed. haven't done it for a long time but recently have been considering it again, the only thing is it would have to be ,one fella and a lot of times over a period of time. The reason I quit is because of the extreme stress it was causing at the time and probably will again if I carry on this way.

Tommie Rae

09-15-2008, 12:09 PM

Surely I am not the only person here who has an open marriage? That means that my wife and I are each other's primary partner in every aspect but we each have the freedom to have any kind of relationship we want with anyone we choose. I know this is not a popular or accepted position here or in society in general but it is a choice that we have made and we are happy with it. It is not cheating because we each know and approve of the situation. If you and your wife have an arrangement like this, and are able to communicate with each other in an open and honest fashion, then what you do and with whom is strictly your business, not mine. That takes care of the "cheating" part of the messages here.

The fantasy part is strictly a personal situation and it really exists right now in your own mind. Fantasy can be a rich and rewarding part of our lives. I would even argue that fantasy is a large part of what drives us as CDs. I personally have several fantasies that involve men, some of which I have acted out (and my wife has seen) and many of which I may just keep as fantasy. Some of my fantasies I have told to my wife and some I have kept to myself, as she has done with me. Sometimes telling the fantasy can enrich it and sometimes it can diminish it. The only advice I offer to you is to get off the Internet chat rooms and get a proper conversation going with your wife. You may find that some of your desires can be fulfilled with your wife in a situation that does not involve deception, and may or may not involve being dressed. Being bisexual or bicurious doesn't mean you have to be en femme. It might be easier in your own mind to accept the things you feel like doing but it is not strictly required.

I hope this helps because we all have feelings and fantasies that not everyone is going to like-that is one of the reasons we are all here.

Tashee

09-15-2008, 12:38 PM

when i was younger i had an experience with a man. i was not dressed either. it was strange because i never felt more feminine during the experience. i understood that dressing was not the only outlet of my feminine side. now i do not walk the line often. but i was blessed to discover it at an early age. it blew the illusion of only when i am dressed. now i do not understand myself fully sexual, and it probably take a lifetime to attempt to discover just why i am. but in the meantime i respect my vows and in the same i understand my fem side is deeper than dressing.

i hope i made sense...i have a hard time understanding this let alone post on it.

helenr

09-15-2008, 01:32 PM

This is a very good topic, and one that many surely have fantacized about. Of course it is wrong, just as conventional adultery is. I confess I have erred in this respect and this seriously hurt my relationship with my wife who now really is just a roommate, though we get along in many,many ways-I am not welcome in her bed.
Sexual urges are great and it sort of makes sense to 'experience' being a woman, though we all know this is just nonsense-unless you have had SRS,you aren't female.
I know this isn't for everyone-maybe only a few on the transgendered subject areas-but some anti androgens will help in many ways and really kill your sexual libido. Fetish crossdressing, wasting time with strangers on the internet for sex or just dirty talk, needing to 'relieve' oneself often and regularly-all this stressful, unproductive behavior will abate largely. Of course, you won't be much good as a sex partner, but maybe your wife doesn't really like having intercourse with a male dressed up pretty.Such a complex situation, but please don't fool around and risk sexual diseases as well as betraying the only person who tolerates you and 'our' special needs. good luck and thanks for bringing up a dynamite topic. helenr

Maibh

09-15-2008, 01:45 PM

In my late teens I experimented, I explored my sexuality in several ways. Among them, I let myself be seduced by a man I knew to be gay, and knew was trying to seduce me. He was interested in me as a boy. It was an interesting mix of pain and pleasure, if you are truly considering this think about what the sex would be like and if you are truly willing to do that.

I broached the idea back then of going out on a date with me in drag (which was the only term for crossdressing I knew), I was much braver about it all back then, though that would have been my first time in public if I had. He had no interest in doing that. It pretty much ended right there. I found out then that intolerance of crossdressers is not solely a heterosexual thing. That drove me further into the crossdressing closet than before.

I experimented a few more times with guys, but never mentioned crossdressing again. Then I decided I prefered girls as sexual partners by a large margin. I still do.

As a single person would I consider this again, especially en femme?

Yes, depending on the seducer. I think of myself as mostly straight with a smidgen of bisexuality. I still remember the emotional aspect of being chased and seduced as one of the most feminine and flattering episodes of my life. I just wish I looked as good today as I did back then.

Jennifer Devine

09-15-2008, 01:46 PM

If you really love your wife as you say you do then you wouldn't even consider cheating on her especially with a man who's probably married himself.
Is a seedy man really worth risking your marriage over?
She deserves better than that.

Vanessa R.

09-15-2008, 01:46 PM

I agree, a large number of us probably have fantasies about being taken by a man...hell I have a reoccuring fantasy where I'm "taken" by a woman dressed as a man...not even sure what that makes me, perhaps a transexual lesbian. But as I've found out, the hard way, many times fantasies are much better than the reality, so for the most part, it's just not worth it.

Vanessa R.

Nadia-Maria

09-15-2008, 02:35 PM

I agree, a large number of us probably have fantasies about being taken by a man...

A good way to cope satisfactorily with them, I believe, is to fantasy experiencing a female orgasm whereas making love to the wife.
In fact you needn't a real man.

Ashley Helen

09-15-2008, 03:33 PM

I am stuck with a man 24/7 and I know what they are like. Give me a woman every time.

Ashley

Kayla Shadows

09-15-2008, 03:55 PM

I never said I would go thru with it and I even made the statement it would be cheating. But you cant tell me no one else married has never thought about it, straight, gay or cd's. Sometimes a person needs to talk to someone about the way they are feeling. I thought I could talk on here about it without being condemned. All I was doing was expressing the way I feel. It is confusing but I NEVER said I would do it.
But isn't dressing also cheating or at least deceiving if u dont share it with your significant other? Anyways that is a whole other story.
Thank you to everyone else that gave positive advice and a little understanding

Alexandria....if we ask questions we need to be ready to handle opinions.They wont always be sugar coated.Especially when its something that digs up emotions.

And wrong? Is what wrong? The feelings or cheating?
By the time you are married,or in any relationship for that matter,you should already know if cheating is wrong.And if you are having sexual conversations with a person of interest,your in the wrong.If you wouldnt do it in front of your wife,dont do it.

We cant change what we feel but we can control our actions.

ReineD

09-15-2008, 04:08 PM

But when I am dressed I have a strong desire to be with a man ...
I have been talking to guys over the internet ...
it just so overwelms me ...

Alexandria, I understand you posted this to help you work through your feelings and I do not judge you. It is good to sort through something like this here rather than make rash decisions in your personal life. So, would you consider looking at this from another perspective?

How would you feel if your wife had overpowering, intense feelings of wanting to be with someone other than you? What if her desires were recurring, and getting ever stronger with time? I'm not talking about an occasional passing thought, or what might be considered a healthy fantasy - the kind that spices up committed relationships - but the kind of fantasy that takes energy and focus away from you. And what if she took steps towards making these fantasies more real by finding someone to play with?

Would you feel a rift, as if something was missing from your relationship? Would you wonder if the sexual gratification she was experiencing from these fantasies was more exciting to her than being with you? Would you feel as if you've become, in her eyes, second best? Would you feel, when you were making love, that she was making love to you?

I think Holly said it best:

A marriage is mental, physical, and emotional commitment... a commitment you promised to honor. You should consider the fact that you even have to ask the question a warning sign.

I wish you all the best in sorting through this.
:hugs:

tall sam

09-15-2008, 04:16 PM

What a mixture of thoughts - I just love this amazing group of crossdressers - just like a bunch of real girls each having their say and each thinking they are right!! You all make we want to dash upstairs, put on my sexiest clothes and head out manhunting!

Actually on a more serious note, I have felt this urge to go with a man while enfemme. Recently the feeling has become very strong. I have talked about it teasingly with my wife as something we could do together (lets go out and find some men for the night), and the response is partly curious, partly conservative -- well the question is : what would I do if she says "what the heck, we only live once, lets go and do it"?

I guess I would go for it --- we only live once (and its not cheating!)

Now all I have to do is wait for the day she makes the suggestion!! he he

Sam

Sally24

09-15-2008, 05:08 PM

We all have fantasies, and desires, and curiosity but if you're married than they have to remain just that. If I was younger and single I'm not sure where the curiosity would end and reality would begin. Being happily married for over 30 years I realize that something like adultery can fatally wound a relationship. If you feel that you must explore this than do it openly with your wife's knowledge. If she can't handle it at least she has a choice.

No one has mentioned the medical end of things here. There are any number of STD's that are incurable at present. And of course AID's. In my book if you infected someone knowingly than you would be guilty of at least manslaughter (some states agree too). Keep it in you pants, keep in only in your mind, or get out of your present relationship first!

windycissy

09-15-2008, 10:53 PM

Unlike most who have had this fantasy and responded to this thread, I have "walked the walk" ... I have zero interest in men, except when I'm Cissy, then it seems very natural. I know that the risks are ridiculous and the odds of meeting someone nice on the Internet aren't great, but there have been some amazing moments: getting dressed up for a date is pretty intense, being taken out to a nice restaurant by a handsome man who treats you like a lady is an incredible rush, and the first time I kissed a guy, I was hooked. I know I'm bad, but it feels so good!

Tracii G

09-15-2008, 11:04 PM

Sharon nailed it, well put blunt and to the point.Its a fantasy let it be what it is do not act on it.Your marriage is too important.JMO

darla_g

09-15-2008, 11:57 PM

if you want me to treat you like a woman .. then come over to my house and do my laundry for me :D

for me being treated like a woman is just respect for my gender thats alloooh MJ how wonderfully politically incorrect! I love it

Isn't that like the joke about the woman who is on the airplane that is going to crash. She announces to the passengers that she is inexperienced and wants to be treated as a lady. A man stands up and begins to remove his shirt. The woman is trembling as the man approaches her. When he is right next to her he hands her the shirt and tells her "Here iron this". (I know, I know another politically incorrect joke, but it was well received on the makeup forum)

as for me, no interest in guys, those fantasies don't even work for me. But for others i guess it is different.

Alexandria9919

09-16-2008, 01:06 AM

It is cheating and I could NEVER do that to my wife but sometimes it becomes a overwelming feeling. When I get that feeling I try to go to my wife and see if she will have sex with me but u know how sometimes women just won't or can't do it at that time. And of course then I have to go take care of myself. Sometimes I think maybe I need to go seek counseling cause it does get confusing.
Actaully though when I was in my teens and 20s and single I did have sex with men and and always wearing femme clothes underneath my jeans and t shirt but never fully dressed as a woman. And actually I have never had talked sex with the men on the computer, I just told them I was a crossdresser and they actually made the advances. I have told some I would think about it but not sure I could actually go thru with it. But u can't tell me everyone here married or not hasn't fantasized being with someone else at one point or another in your life. So i dont think fantaziing is wrong its how you respond to the fantasy.
My wife is very understanding of my crossdressing. And we even have a couple that we know thru our game online that wants to come down and stay the weekend. The lady just happened to mention she was bi. My wife told me she would have to get drunk for her to perhaps let another woman be with her. I told her it was up to her I would not force her. To tell u the truth that has always been a fantasy to watch two women. Not really sure how far anything else would go, I think they are swingers so I am not sure if she just wanted to be with my wife or we were going to swap partners or what. But to me that is a very understanding wife. And perhaps if I just be patients she may let me fulfill that fantasy.
Anyways I rambled on long enough. And the ones who seemed kind of harsh actually I do appreciate that cause I know its wrong and I dont think I would have acted on it but I just needed some rational conversation. And those whose gave me advice otherwise thank you. I have taken it all into consideration, I think I just needed to get it out of my head by speaking it. Letting it dwell in my head was just confusing me and overwelming me.
I am almost sure eventually my wife would let me. We will find out if she acutally can be open minded and be with another women. That seems like the next step to acceptance or openmindness to other things.
Not sure I am making any sense but thank you again for letting me ramble:o

firststepnow_whynot

09-16-2008, 02:22 AM

Hi Alexandria,

I feel exactly the same. I have no interest in men, but when I a m dressed up, i feel like a woman, think like one, want to be treated like one.

I have wished so many times, about A man (not a specific image). The feeling of being taken care of, protected, being vulnerable - is such a powerful feeling. I would never act on my feelings, but I think of being a woman and taking care of a man and being with him and being returned the same favor.

I would like to point out that I am not gay and when I am my usual self, this idea doesnt appeal to me one bit. However, when I am dressed, this idea doesnt seem wierd and if by some strange fate it came down to it, then I wouldnt resist this.

When I analyze myself later, I wonder if I am gay and almost all the times, I conclude that I am not. I was wondering whether it was just me or did all CDs face this thought.

Glad you penned your thought... makes me feel normal again...

Nadia-Maria

09-16-2008, 03:03 AM

(...) getting dressed up for a date is pretty intense, being taken out to a nice restaurant by a handsome man who treats you like a lady is an incredible rush, and the first time I kissed a guy, I was hooked. I know I'm bad, but it feels so good!

Congratulations for your authenticity and your courage.

I'm more moved to read from time to time something like this
than hundreds of messages praising everyday their own sense of honor.

Hugs

Nadia

_________________________

anti "langue de bois"

Desiree2bababe

09-16-2008, 09:49 AM

Been there, done that. In fact, my wife even suggested Desiree getting a man. She couldn't understand why I would transform, head to toe, complete with accessories, from man to woman and not want a man.

At first I denied it but the desire overcame me and now being with a man is icing on the cake.

JamieLovesMen

09-16-2008, 12:06 PM

Greetings,

I have been dating men for almost 2 years now, many new and differernt ones, and yes, do have casual sex with men.

I know this is not for everyone, and maybe this post will get me booted off this site, but having a sexual encounter with a man is truly a wonderful experience. Yes, there are some marginal ones, but there are some really really great ones as well. Some I have maintained great relations with, some were just passing ships in the night, so to speak. But it can be a truly fullfilling expression of ones feminine self, maybe even the ultimate. And catagory wise, I consider myself Bi-Sexual.

I am married and my wife knows about my encounters, similar to Alice Novik. Since I am in Southern California, I have had opportunites to chat with Alice quite frequently, go out to dinner together and find our viewpoints to be very similar. And I have been able, just as Alice does, to maintain a strong marriage, fully commited to my wife of 21 years.

So thats my first hand experience on the topic, no speculation, no fallout, just full expression of ones self.

Thanks for the opportunity to share.
Jamie
// * * \\

justtheskirtfornow

09-16-2008, 12:54 PM

While in femme mode I really want to be with a man and do all the things women have done to me over the years :). My SO knows about this and we have been talking about a threesome with another guy so maybe it will happen.
Steve...Steph

melissacd

09-16-2008, 03:50 PM

Alexandria,

It is good to question things. We all need to do this. It is good to get feedback because it helps you to think through things. There is nothing wrong with fantasies like these so long as they are not acted upon while you are still in a committed relationship. It may even be something that you can share with your spouse if you have an open enough relationship to talk of such things.

Sometimes when we ask these questions it is because we want to validate that we are not broken, that others have had such thoughts and I think that the answer is, yes, many of us have had these thoughts. Some of us have acted on those thoughts as well. For the most part the reality does not live up to the fantasy and the risks are very high from a relationship, personal safety and health standpoint.

So enjoy your fantasies as fantasies, share them with your wife if you can create role playing between you and within your committed marriage that can satisfy your needs in a way that respect hers.

Thanks for asking the question and helping all of us learn and grow a little more. Never be afraid to ask questions.

Huggs
Melissa

Marjory

09-16-2008, 05:05 PM

firstly, don't act on it. With me, it's a fantasy and that's all it is. The fantasies are great but it will never happen in real life.
Marjory

jennifer24

09-16-2008, 07:16 PM

I have fantasized about making out with a man but never acted on it, had a few chances but backed out. I only have these feelings while in femme, never would even cross my mind in Drab. If in a relationship I would never do it. I do consider myself BI (only when in femme) even though I`ve never been with a man, If I fully transitioned over I would probley act on my desires but for now, I will just use my toys.:o

Carol123

09-16-2008, 07:19 PM

Someday I hope:daydreaming:

helenejo

09-24-2008, 07:34 AM

I always fantasized about making love to a guy but always wondered how my conscience would let me feel a) about cheating on my wife and b) that i might have some homosexual desires....that I am actually bisexual rather than completely heterosexual as I have always thought (& probably hoped).
When I finally did it the guilty feelings I thought I'd have just werent here - I put it down to the fact that crossdressing, and the fact that you invariably start off in secret, lead you to be able to compartmentalise your mind into a separate (and hidden) personality that, when you finally taste the "forbidden fruit", mean that its a lot easier to deal with than you think it would be.

flatlander_48

09-24-2008, 09:49 AM

YES Alexandria, I've felt exactly that way for a long time now. I have never acted on it but am at the point where I think I would and label it bi-curious or sexual experimentation instead of being gay which I'm not.
I've been married 37 year and have always been faithfully but if the opportunity were there at this gay bar we CD's hang out at I'd probably do it,maybe even intitiate the move myself but worry about the guilt I would feel the next day,,, .

The urge gets stronger every year that usally when i sleep dressed in lingerie, and I must take care of needs.. Anyone else's turn to be so bold and 'fess up? Hummmmm?

Megan

Sorry to take this off topic a bit, but I really get tired of people saying that they are not gay. WHO GIVES A RAT"S Azz?!?!?!?!?! When people write that, they are saying it more for themselves than for the reader. Personally, I couldn't care less. We are what we are; whatever that is...

Marla16

09-24-2008, 10:03 AM

when I was youger in my 20"s I dated men while dressed, then after I was married I did not, I was always faithful and did not even dress very much, being recently divorced ,I am now free to explore my femmine side to the fullest, I have spent several days dressed and have dated a few men, I always present as a women and do for man what a women would do, It makes me feel completly femmine and I do enjoy being submisive to my man.

CharleneT

09-24-2008, 10:04 AM

Mmmm, I often think that these three labels (hetero, homo, bi) are really inadequate to describe all the options.

Imagine a married man of 50. He's probably made love to his wife and other women about -- what? -- 3,000 times in his life? (Let's be modest!) Suppose in all that time he's made love to another man three times.

Now according to some bigots, he's irredeemably homosexual. Other people, more reasonably, would call him bisexual.

But mathematically, his behaviour is 99.9% heterosexual. Many gays wouldn't even think he'd come over the threshold! And yet he may well be beating himself up with anguish over his own nature.

Perhaps we should stop being so hard on ourselves.

Katie b

THREE cheers for Katie b's answer !!!

Charlene

Jess_cd32

09-24-2008, 02:02 PM

To actually go out and cheat on your wife would be very wrong, don't do that to her please.
Not only that but chances are, even as an adult, safe sex wouldn't be totally practiced, you can still catch alot of things thru oral sex, would it be fair to transfer that to your SO?

Since your married, I would IMHO just tell you to have at it w/ the guys in the chats if you want and enjoy your wildest fantasies, cyber sex can be very hot (so I'm told,lol) Actually my SO did find out years ago that I was chatting w/ some GG's anonymously and had a fit, better that though than doing the real deal, there is a HUGE difference, hey I'm not perfect either.

At least that way your not exposed to any STD's and personally, and I'm sure there will be disagreement on this, I don't see anonymous cyber sex as really cheating if thats as far as it goes. At least online, you can act out some of your fantasies, stay safe and hopefully she won't find out, that's far better than the alterative which carries way to many negatives your not seeing.

Its been said by many that the fantasy is actually better than the reality of acting it out most of the time.

KellyCD

09-24-2008, 03:03 PM

....much less than 1 person out of 1000 would ever cheat.....
..... Maybe I live in another world (or just in another country ...).

I wish I could find a world like that!!!

Cheating is rampant where i'm at. So much so that when I mentioned to my friends about my wife cheating(I was very mentally unstable and needed people to talk to) I found that it was harder to find someone that WASN'T cheating on their spouse.

It's gotten to the point that when I hear about a girl getting pregnant I have to ask "Is it her husband's?" The response is usually a "No". :eek:

Anyways, OMO it's a fantasy. Everyone has fantasies. But to act upon it would cement it as *WRONG*.

Bev06 GG

09-24-2008, 03:43 PM

I think Annemarie makes a very valid point when she says that you wouldn't neccessarily get treated like a woman.
A regular guy who is attracted to CDs isn't usually and I state usually, the kind of guy who would treat you like a lady. It would probably be more a case of acting out a fantasy with one thing in mind. Not all men are gentlemen, but then maybe your fantasy isn't about being with a gentleman.
And you did actually say in your post Alexandria that you knew it was wrong and then in the last sentence asked was it wrong, a contradiction if ever there was one. I think you already know the answer to that question honey, but that is what Tamara and a few others were referring to.
If your wondering why perhaps the hostility just take note, there have been many GGs on here who have supported their CD 100% only to find he has cheated on her with another man even though he has admitted to being very happily married. The excuses range from being bi curious and it just got the better of me, to well when I'm dressed I am a different person so its not really cheating. Its far more common than you might think so I am afraid as confused as you might be, and as entitled to your view as you should be, so are others. Tamara and Sandra have been privvy to many a GG pouring her heart out on here because she has been betrayed, you honestly dont know the half.
And just to finish, alot of these guys have risked losing everything for a fantasy that came no where near to being as exciting as they thought it would be.
Take care and like Holly has said concentrate on your relationship with your wife. That could be even more exciting.

Bev

Emily Faye

09-24-2008, 06:53 PM

I really appreciate Alexandria's honesty about here feelings and her willingness to bring up an issue that obviously affects a lot of us. I am glad that the responses showed a caring and respect that allows for us to be open, honest and express our femme side. I like that, and that's one of the reasons I have been attracted to this particular site. Alexendria, you shouldn't feel bad for these feelings. I, too, have longed to be the object of desire for a long time - even long before the thought of cding entered my mind. As I've explored my femme side, I have wondered what it would be like to be with a man, to please him and to have him love me, hold me, etc. I think it's only natural for "the woman" in each of us to long for that. I have been married for over 25 years and know that this would kill my marriage and be extremely hurtful. What I've chosen to do instead of acting on the urges to be with a man is to invest more time in the relationship I already have, to show more affection, to be there emotionally for her and to gain the pleasure of intimacy (no matter what level) from the relationship I already have. A curse of human nature is to want what we don't have and to NOT want what wed DO have - until it, too, is gone. I don't want to fall into that trap! So, I take those "freelings" and try to translate them into positive action that will build up my SO and our relationship. Don't get me wrong, I am NOT a saint or a Ms. Goody-Two Shoes! I dont' feel as pretty as the other ladies on this site and have major self perception issues. Still, I try to be the best that I can be. Okay, I'm off the soap box. Sorry. Anyway, Alexandria, don't feel bad, k? It's great that you recongize your feelings and can articulate them. That way, you can choose what is best for you and your relationship. Have a great day all! :)

ReginaS

09-24-2008, 07:20 PM

I have always considered myself heterosexual but I too have had the fantasy of being treated as a lady and using my female 'power' to please a man. I am not attracted to men but when in full fem mode I am turned on by the idea of turning on and pleasing a man.
I am single by the way.
Last week I placed an ad on Craigslist in causual encounters. I waded through lots of creepy replies and chose someone who agreed to my terms: "I am in charge, I stay clothed, no kissing, you will get a hand." It was really fun to be able to be treated like a woman and to turn someone on and bring him to orgasm with my hand.
Will I do it again...? who knows? It did make me feel powerfully feminine. I had no attraction to him but it was fun!:o

Michellebej

09-24-2008, 08:36 PM

I've done it. Many times.

Like you I never think about it when in boy mode. In fact gay porn makes me mildly quesy.

Girl mode is another thing all togeather.

I think it has to do with a very specific form of transgenderism. I am of the opinion that there are many forms of TG. From the "guy in a skirt" to the post op "TS". I think we are something in between.

Honestly I don't think that the "guy in a skirt" can ever understand those of us that are "girls" when dressed.

And; my two cents on cheating. Yep it is. But; I agree with another poster about monogamy.

I am, by profession, an Interogator/Interviewer. I used to do private contract work as an investagator. The thing that amazed me was the amount of cheating going on. AND that more women than men were doing the cheating. That is to say that more married women were cheating than married men. Women also tended to be much more likely to be "the passive agressor" ( that is letting the men know they were available rather than "asking them out")

I grew up in the culture that "Knew" men were "always dogs" and women "always virtuous". And; while there are some spectacular "dogs" out there, most men that I investagated were quite loyal. In fact, in not a few cases it was the woman client that was the Cheater.

And; remember something they tell us in "interviewing" school. Usually when someone reveals a pet peeve, such as cheating, lieing, and stealing; it almost always reveals a character fault within themselves.

So watch very closely those who run to the " I would never do it" bandwagon when asked a question like this.

As a professional, those are always the first people we look at.

Michelle

Donnadcd

09-24-2008, 09:04 PM

YES Alexandria, I've felt exactly that way for a long time now. I have never acted on it but am at the point where I think I would and label it bi-curious or sexual experimentation instead of being gay which I'm not.
I've been married 37 year and have always been faithfully but if the opportunity were there at this gay bar we CD's hang out at I'd probably do it,maybe even intitiate the move myself but worry about the guilt I would feel the next day,,, .

The urge gets stronger every year that usally when i sleep dressed in lingerie, and I must take care of needs.. Anyone else's turn to be so bold and 'fess up? Hummmmm?

Megan

I'm with you. Each day the urge gets stronger and stronger - to the point where I know it's just a matter of time. Consider me "fessed up" on this one!!!!!!!!

09-24-2008, 09:07 PM

OK then a politically correct answer you are married and it is cheating plan and simple.

so you can dream about it all you want but don't act on it..

how many t-girls have done this and end up dead..
i am single and don't have much of a life but it's better than none case in point i have " men " send me comments on my face book and i am hurt and put off by there sick comments.. i have more class than that ..
your lucky to have a wife be thankful for that .please don't act on that
hugs

Alice Torn

09-24-2008, 11:45 PM

Bev, Emily, and others.Thanks for sharing! As a single cd with no SO, I have no desire for a man to want me, but, when all dressed up, there are feelings o wanting to attract men. i have been on the alternative dating sites, and have had many winks, messages, and came very close, to going out, to meet, but, always decided at the last minute, to drop it, especially when i found they were married! I have a no marrieds policy, for men, or ladies. If married to a wife, its ok to have feelings, like that, but not act on them. Lots of wisdom on here.Very honest, good posts, by cders, and Bevgg.!

Sophia de la luz

09-25-2008, 01:30 AM

The thought has crossed my mind. When I went to burning man recently, I felt open to experimenting with that experience. My wife was open to that as well. It didn't happen. Now it seems more remote. I like to masturbate as a woman, and do think it would be fun to be with a male sexual partner who was authentically caring and respectful.
The whole cheating element is possible to address by being open with your wife about your fantasies and hearing what her response is. She might not be threatened... especially if your connection to her is really strong and she feels very safe and loved.
Good luck.

geenalynn

09-25-2008, 07:26 AM

I wonder if the ones that say they have not thought about or done it, what their level of dressing is. As a full woman, meaning not only lingerie and cloths and shoes but makeup, jewlery and pocketbooks I have done and still do on occasion. When totally dressed, I am a woman and feel the need to do all things womanly. Not gay in the least, I work with literaly 100's of men in the day and don't feel anything. I am married to a very understandiing woman for the last 25 years and she thought it would be best if I acted on it again and she was near me for my first time and kinda got a kick out of it. I will never be gay or lose my wife for anything she is my best and not having her would be tragic but me having a little girl sex does not hurt if both parties are okay. By the way the last time I was seduced, dined and sexed and he was a total gentelman about it. I would say if you dress all the way and you have an opportunity and there is no outside issues, go for it at least once and see if its as fun as it looks. I know I like it a lot and can't wait to try again!

fluffy_kingston

09-25-2008, 11:15 AM

I have been with several men while in femme and enjoyed it very much. I enjoy being treated like a lady. I am not attracted to men while I am in male mode though.

It is also fun to dress and be with my wife though... we play lesbians.

Michelle8

09-25-2008, 01:44 PM

Each day I think about being with a man more and more.
It is something I would never consider dressed as a guy.
But i would love to feel what it's like to go out with a guy
as woman.the urge is getting worse

Michelle42

09-25-2008, 04:03 PM

I also like to imagine that I'm with a gentleman while I am in drab. I think it makes perfect sense - this is what makes one's transformation into a woman "complete". I'd like to experience it one day. :daydreaming:

I think it is wrong at this point to wonder if one's gay - the way I see it gays are simply men attracted to men who like to be men. :)

sissystephanie

09-25-2008, 04:27 PM

I think probably every crossdresser has thought about, or fantasized about, being with a man for sexual purposes. After all, we dress to look like a female so why not be one? If you are single, there may not be a problem.

But if you are married, and truly love your wife, as Jennifer Devine stated so eloquently, you are CHEATING!!! What would you think if your wife went on a date with another woman? If you are any kind of man, you would be horrified and upset! So consider how she would feel knowing you dressed up and went out with a man! She married a man, not a female in a suit!

I guess I was lucky. I had a very understanding and supportive wife until she passed away. When I told her my fantasy about being with a man, she told me that she could help. So I became a girl for her!:) Problem solved, and no cheating!! I would recommend some hard thinking about what it is you wish to accomplish with being a CD, keeping in mind that your wife is a very big part of your life! At least she should be if you do truly love her!!

Stephanie

Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

Scotty

09-25-2008, 06:22 PM

KellyCD

09-26-2008, 06:29 AM

....The thing that amazed me was the amount of cheating going on. AND that more women than men were doing the cheating. That is to say that more married women were cheating than married men. Women also tended to be much more likely to be "the passive agressor" ( that is letting the men know they were available rather than "asking them out")

I grew up in the culture that "Knew" men were "always dogs" and women "always virtuous". And; while there are some spectacular "dogs" out there, most men that I investagated were quite loyal. In fact, in not a few cases it was the woman client that was the Cheater.

And; remember something they tell us in "interviewing" school. Usually when someone reveals a pet peeve, such as cheating, lieing, and stealing; it almost always reveals a character fault within themselves.

So watch very closely those who run to the " I would never do it" bandwagon when asked a question like this.

As a professional, those are always the first people we look at.

Michelle

I know exactly what your talking about. It's also sobering and depressing to hear straight from girls (yes plural meaning more than one) and guys mouths about "marriage" and how "that don't matter".

:hmph:

I hear this stuff almost everyday and I just have to shake my head in disbelief. But it's true and it's happening at an alarming rate. I can only seriously think of one couple that I know of that has (for all that I know, but give it time) remained faithful to eachother.

VICKI LYNN HATCHER

10-14-2008, 07:42 PM

SAY THERE ALEXANDRIA ,
I'VE gone to porn theaters and had men "come on " to me , it did feel good at the time , but I'VE also been smart to know just how far to take it.

I did though enjoy the response I got just simply "LAP DANCING" the guys , it made me feel SOO SEXY ( I was dressed in a black bikini ) .

STAY SAFE & SECURE - "SECRET SISTA"

Jaquelyn

10-14-2008, 08:14 PM

If you wouldnt do it in front of your wife,dont do it.

We cant change what we feel but we can control our actions.

Kayla has hit this one dead on. If you discuss this first with your wife, and/or she is open to the idea, fine. If not, then its wrong. That being said, I also agrre with many here that some things are best left a fantasy. I'm not sure how it may make you feel afterward, even if you are totally open with your spouse with the whole thing.

samantha78

10-15-2008, 05:37 PM

Dear its natural I am with a man and have a wonderful relationship with him and my gf. she knows and is very accepting. Being attracted to a man while dressed is natural for me so i just acted on it at the right time.
but its all up to you dear and no one can tell you different. Only you know what you want

Sapphire

10-15-2008, 06:09 PM

PrettyFlowingGown

10-15-2008, 06:33 PM

I had no interest in men at all, up until about 27/28. It just seemed the more feminine I got through the years, the more curious I got.
Strange enough, I have'nt had intimacy with a woman in 3 years. I've only had sex with men or a cuppla CD friends since then......I love it, but thats cause I'm single, and I'm free to do what I want without no fear or insecurity.
But I'd never cheat......I've never beleived in cheating.
Even though I consider myself bi though, and I've had these flings with men in recent years, I would still love a woman to truly accept me......but until that day comes I'm happy just being me.

Kris Vasquez

10-16-2008, 01:38 PM

I wouldn't recommend it without taking a long time to think it over.

Carly CD

10-17-2008, 10:19 PM

When it come's to this subject,I'm lucky that me and my wife swing and she nows I'm bi.So if I could find a guy that I trust to share my dressing with then I'm sure it'll happen hehe.But if your s/o doesn't know about or approves to it then all you are doing is cheating,and is that a path you'd really want to travel.When one cheats it causes alot of pain for both poeple.Like others have said,sometimes a fastasy is best left at that.

Deidra Cowen

10-18-2008, 07:46 AM

Don't cheat...you will get caught! But more importanly its wrong. Almost every friend I have that has monkeyed around sooner or later gets caught.

Honestly if in guy mode you are not attracted to guys I don't want to offend ya but I doubt you are gay or bi. You would probably would be dissappointed when the reality was not as nice as the fantasy.

Sex, dating and relationships is the great dissappointment of being a CD/Tgirl. If you are gay like me its all but impossible to have a relationship with a guy. Now a lot of guys will have sex with us...and it can be quite fun...but its all short-term stuff. I have had only one guy that took me out on real dates.

denise1970

10-18-2008, 07:21 PM

i felt the same way and i was married to i had my cake and pie too i had both worlds in one it felt good why it was now i am single so i have no one

denise1970

10-18-2008, 08:37 PM

Natasha Carlo

10-18-2008, 08:53 PM

I also feel the same, that is, curious about men while dressed.

I don't condone cheating though, Put yourself in your wife's place, think how you'd feel if the roles were reversed, and she cheated on you......

Nicole Erin

10-18-2008, 09:01 PM

And; remember something they tell us in "interviewing" school. Usually when someone reveals a pet peeve, such as cheating, lieing, and stealing; it almost always reveals a character fault within themselves.

So watch very closely those who run to the " I would never do it" bandwagon when asked a question like this.

That is called "He who yells the loudest has the most to hide."

DawnRodgers

10-19-2008, 01:32 AM

After years of fantasy and "substitutes" I, after a life threatening hospitalization, wondered if I was missing something and might die without actually experiencing the sex act as a woman. I decided to see and feel what it was all about. I comclude that, for me anyway, being with a man is fantastic. It completes me, makes me feel so very female and wouldn't trade it for anything. It exceeded my expectations and I simply can't get enough of it.
Granted, it may not be for everybody but I do think that we are all very different men as well as girls. I did, for many years, hover on the other side of the line but that was mostly because, in my younger years, the attempt to get together with a man was incredibly difficult. Using the USPS to make contact was a long and difficult process. Modern age use of computers has made the process much easier. I must admit too that the "morality" of the thing doesn't bother me one bit. I am not religious either. I love it and will likely do this as long as I am able to do it.
If younger, I would absolutely attenpt to get SRS and live my life as the woman I want to be.

opie

10-19-2008, 07:44 AM

I am a man who is also not gay.I can't even look at another man like that.But when he becomes a she it drives me crazy.I look at the pictures and read the stries on Literotica and all i can imagine is going to bed with her and treating her like a real women.So you are not alnoe in your feelings

Marla16

10-19-2008, 12:53 PM

I had a date last night with a great guy We went to nice Restaurant in the City and back to his place after, being divorced I am free to experience the things I have been dreaming of for a long time. I cant tell you how femme I felt being made love to as a women. I know its not for everyone, but with the right person it is unbelievable. I dont really have feeling for men when I'm not dressed, but when I become Marla that changes I think its more of an acceptance of my female side

Alexandria9919

10-23-2008, 02:40 AM

Wow this thread has had alot of comments. Just so yall know I have decided to not pursue it. Just keep it a fantasy until such time that my wife will accept it.
When I first told her about my crossdressing she was not very accepting of it. But eventually she came around and even has helped me dress, bought "pretties" (as she calls them) for me and even have sex with her as a woman. So I cant complain alot of us girls dont have that.
We have been approached by some swingers and my wife has been curious. The lady said she was bi so my wife has thought about being with another woman since she seems curious. I told her if she wants to that is fine, if not that is fine too. But I do beleive if she does she would be more accepting of me being with a guy. I am not sure of these swingers, whether the guy is bi but we will find out, I just have to wait and see. Unfortunatley they live in Dallas and they keep saying they are going to come down and rent a room so we can "party" . But things keep not working out so I must wait
Anyways my point is, I will just wait on my wife and see how things go. I do love her dearly and would never want to hurt her.
I beleive this post has helped me settle things in my mind. So thank you everyone:hugs:

flatlander_48

10-23-2008, 06:24 AM

Just remember, you cannot unring a bell...

satin_luva

10-23-2008, 07:31 AM

Alexandria, I have not read all of the posts in this thread but in case it hasn't already been suggested, asking your wife for a male-bisexual threesome might be the best option for you. Nothing wrong with some kinkiness in your life.

10-23-2008, 07:44 AM

the problem is your feelings how will you react to seeing the one you love with someone else and how will your wife take it . it could destroy everything you both have.

KateSpade83

10-23-2008, 10:57 AM

If I were in your situation, I'd say the best thing is role reversal with your wife. Hopefully she can understand your Bi needs and treat you like a woman. Then this wouldn't be cheating.

I joined a sex forum too and there have been posts by women who wanted to see their hubby with another man or who enjoyed gay porn.

Aneline

10-23-2008, 07:36 PM

I have had similar thoughts, right down to feeling that, I'm married so this has got to be wrong. From reading the posts here, lots of us have those thoughts. My fantasy is to meet a guy that likes me for who I am and enjoys the feminine side of me (that is, really likes the fact that I dress up as a woman). From the little online research I've done on the matter, it would appear unlikely that this kinky knight is living in my neighborhood, state, or country... Kinky, sleezy, etc, but knightly, nope. But if I did happen to meet someone that fit the bill so to speak, well, I don't know what would happen

LisaLedoux

10-23-2008, 08:19 PM

I am a biological male but when I am dressed I am the woman that I should, and want to be. All the appropriate female behaviour goes with it including my feelings as a woman and my behavior toward a special man with who I am fortunate to have a relationship.

Edyta_C

10-23-2008, 08:38 PM

I am lucky to share a marriage and love with a truely wonderful GG. I would never do anything that would hurt her (like cheating). Even if she would let me chase men while dressed that feels somehow wrong. I guess maybe when en femm I'm a lesbian? But I can understand how some of you feel. Perhaps I'm not that far one way in the spectrum.

Edyta

LizBeth

10-24-2008, 05:48 AM

Hello for the longest time I would just dress , then started to go out dressed out of town, to gay CD bars, would talk to others and have drinks and just think what it would be like to touch or kiss, but never acted on it , it was torture. Then I meet a bimm like my self , he was courious also , we talked , had drinks and meet quite a few times , all the while I am thinking of what its like to be held and kissed and touched and better yet have love made to me like a women. Well after about 6 weeks we did kiss and touch in private and I got so dizzy and felt so wonderful the it went on from there, we did not have sex on the frist intimate date, but we did explore some, and in time it happend , I still see him discreetly and its a wonderful relationship, no one at home gets hurt and I can act on my desires as a women, I am sorry its cheating but I am telling the truth , and yes its wonderful to have love made to you as a women, from the right man

LizBeth

10-24-2008, 07:19 AM

you are so right Megan, I was the same way untill I did it

Christina2008

10-27-2008, 02:08 PM

I have been thinking about this for some time, but for me i'm sure its just a fantasy i wouldn't act out.

Danielle Hyatt

10-27-2008, 04:07 PM

No d?m way that I would

Your Pal
Dan:D

Miss Tessa

10-27-2008, 04:54 PM

They'll have the courage to meet me.

Oh oH OvaH!

Andrea420

10-27-2008, 09:09 PM

To be honest, I have a girlfriend. She has no idea that I like to dress up and wish to be a girl!! <3 When I go out with her and i am with her alot of my time if i am not at work. But anyways I love her, but also when i dress up. I am new and i wish if i look passible or not. I think i would be but i need to help. But i would love to date another guy and be treated like a girl. I would
<3 that so much. But I wouldnt mind getting a little physical in bed... <3

I think it would be fine, plus i think i would be damn good at it to.<3<3<#

Alice Torn

12-03-2008, 11:35 PM

Like so many, when dressed, i wonder about being with a specaial man, to be caressed, held, danced with, laying with. I am single, desire a birthgirl in drab mode, which is most of the time. I put ads on casual encouters on Craigslist, got many responses. All want sex quick. Hard to find gentlemen on the internet sites! If your wife disaproves, don't act on it. It is tough enough for singles!

Raquel June

12-04-2008, 02:45 AM

I know that would be cheating but it just so overwelms me. Anyone else have this problem? Would it be wrong?

That doesn't even make sense. You want someone to tell you cheating is OK?

I never said I would go thru with it and I even made the statement it would be cheating. But you cant tell me no one else married has never thought about it

Sure. People think about cheating all the time. But you said you were thinking of cheating, then you said, "Would that be wrong?" as though you didn't know the answer, and that's ridiculous.

I thought I could talk on here about it without being condemned. All I was doing was expressing the way I feel.

So expressing your feelings is always a good thing? Hitler was just expressing the way he felt about Jews. What's wrong with that?

Seriously, though, there are CDs who will condemn you hinting at anything non-heterosexual. Regardless, given the way you worded things, your statements are pretty easy to condemn.

But isn't dressing also cheating or at least deceiving if u dont share it with your significant other?

Lies of omission are a complicated subject. In most cases the whole concept is ridiculous. Let's say you're totally happy with your wife. What if she just had to tell you she was the subject of a gang-bang in college? Or that she cheated on you several years ago? You'd be happier if you never knew. Telling you just makes her feel better and you feel worse. Crossdressing is different, though, because if it's important enough for you to join this forum, it's probably something that'll come out eventually.

Surely I am not the only person here who has an open marriage? That means that my wife and I are each other's primary partner in every aspect but we each have the freedom to have any kind of relationship we want with anyone we choose.

How exactly does that work? She sleeps alone a couple nights a week while you're off nailing the neighbor, or vice versa? Sounds pretty loveless (although I guess many marriages are).

I am, by profession, an Interogator/Interviewer. I used to do private contract work as an investagator. The thing that amazed me was the amount of cheating going on.

Umm ... correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the whole reason they called a private investigator in the first place because they thought their spouse was cheating? Not a lot of people in happy marriages randomly hire an investigator to spy on their spouse. So how is it "amazing" that a lot of times they actually are cheating?

I'm relatively new to this (again) - it's been 10 years since I crossdressed. I got married 10 years ago and put it all behind me (I thought). The desire to feel like a woman again has been growing stronger and stronger all the time, though.

...

She certainly wouldn't understand my desire to be with another man as a woman.

I do kinda understand how this head of steam gets going, and I feel bad for CDs in this situation. You want to feel like a woman, but you can't tell your wife, so your wife certainly won't make you feel like a woman, so what are you gonna do? Hook up with some weirdo tranny chaser, I guess!

I know many CDs. I've met hundreds, and the number of married-and-cheating ones is much higher than those on this forum would have you believe. A lot of that is because I'm looking at a different demographic of CDs -- the ones who go out to clubs on a regular basis. Obviously I'm going to run into the ones who are going out trying to hook up.

I really think this is very often a manifestation of other problems in your marriage, though. Usually when men cheat, it's simply because they're horny and they think they can get away with it. Usually when women cheat, it's because there's something wrong with their marriage and they often (at least subconsciously) actually want to get caught. I get the feeling that M2F CDs, though, tend to cheat for the more feminine reasons.

Look at your life honestly and ask yourself why your wife isn't enough for you. Deal with that.

JamieToo

12-04-2008, 06:55 AM

I don't know if its natural to want a man when dressed enfemme, but I do. I fantasize about spending time getting ready, showering, shaving, putting on makeup, perfume, fixing my hair and then dressing in something tastefully sexy. Just as I'm finishing up, the doorbell rings. I go downstairs and open the door to find my handsom date standing there. He comes inside and we kiss. Then he takes me out for the evening, acting as a gentleman and treating me like a lady. The evening culminates with passionate love-making.

I'm married. I wouldn't cheat on my wife. My wife doesn't know about my dressing and would not be understanding or tolerant of it. Its a wonderful fantasy, but that is all that it will ever be. However, for those of you who have understanding SOs; have you considered asking your wife or girlfriend to be your gentleman date? If your SO is willing, she could dress up as a guy and, although you couldn't go out in public as a couple, you could have an evening at home. Or, she could her take you out and drive around, pretending to be on a date. Then when you got back home, the love making could proceed. There are . . . devices . . . that a woman can use to change her anatomy. That could be fun. Has anybody done that with their SO?

pink femme

12-04-2008, 08:04 AM

I always think and wonder about what it would be like to be a lady and to be taken out for a romantic evening with all that that would bring including the get home bit :heehee:

However, I know it will never happen because

1. My wife
2. My kids
3. My old mate ;) would just be there and no matter how girly I felt it would not go away

MarciManseau

12-04-2008, 10:50 AM

I've been attracted to both women and men since I began to have sexual urges, and for me I think it's very natural. My first time with a boy was when I was 14. It was amazing, I loved every second of it, especially being a girl for him and being treated like boys treated my older sister.

I still love being with Julie, and she's known I'm bisexual since the day we met. We're even attracted to the same kind of men, which is nice for us :heehee:

Hugs, Marci :hugs:

Raquel June

12-04-2008, 01:33 PM

Not all bisex is cheating

That's because you're being open with your GF. As far as the OP is concerned (a married person whose spouse doesn't know), it's definitely cheating.

tricia_uktv

12-04-2008, 05:45 PM

Be yourself. Go where your heart takes you, but to do that you have to remove your social conditioning. We're all bisexual from birth anyway.

Have fun !!!!

Raquel June

12-04-2008, 06:33 PM

rgautier:

I was in a 12-year relationship. I was totally in love. When I would do crazy stuff (trying to hook up online, weird castration fantasies, drugs, attempted suicide, buying a bra then going tanning in it) it was much more a manifestation of my desire to self destruct and/or get caught than it was me trying to get in touch with my feminine side by burning bra tan lines into my skin. In retrospect it's blatantly obvious. At the time, though, I couldn't see it until I had a breakdown and put myself in therapy and my therapist told me I just needed to stay away from her.

But that was a very cold relationship. One time I paid a hooker for a hug. Your marriage probably isn't that depressing.

Anti-depressants can save your life, but there's usually an actual reason you're depressed that you want to fix eventually.