Had to leave my stash behind :cry:

[Gia Villafana]

I had a recent move and didn't get a chance to get my clothes and stuff out without getting caught. I lost everything...my forms, my wig, my corsets, bras, dresses, shoes :cry:

So now I gotta figure out how to accumulate all this stuff again without my wife finding out! Not a fun first post, but all these beautiful girls make me sad!!!

[Tasha McIntyre]

Not a happy thread Gia.

If you know where your gear is, maybe you can negotiate to get it delivered somewhere "safe".

[NZ_Dawn]

My sympathy goes out at losing your wardrobe and accessories. But, as a thought......instead of working out how to try and start over and accumulate it all over again without wife finding out......would it not be so much easier in the long term to figure out how to let her know? Whats the chance of her finding the stash at some point? My SO found some of my stuff before I could muster the courage to tell her. I should not have delayed. All the best.:)

[suspender]

geez. I can relate to that... do the bold move and go back and ask if you can collect something. Chances are you will never see them again.

[Ze xx]

For a start, if you are able to, going back to your old home to collect stuff that has been put away, well, what's wrong with that. The new owners won't know if it's yours or your wifes, your mothers or whoever.

Secondly, I think it's worth you trying to tell your wife. Unless you know she will find it completely unacceptable, being open will be best.

All the best, and btw, if that's you in the photo, you are a gorgeous girl.x

Love Ze xx

[CD Susan]

I feel bad about you losing all of your fem things. I would make an attempt at getting them back. As for your wife I think you should tell her. I do not know your personal circumstances but if your marriage means anything to you then be honest with her and tell her. You might be surprised in that she will accept it. I wish you the best.

[Karren H]

Well.. This may be a worst case scenerio... But if the new occupants find you things.. They may just forward them on to your new address? I always have a problem with things left behind showing up at the house.. Gets my wife all pissed off for a day or so...

[Mollyanne]

That hurts!!!!:doh: As some of the other girls have said, give the new owners a call to arrange a good time for you and them and GET YOUR STUFF!!!!! New wardrobes cost a bundle these days but------"when the going get tough, the tough go shopping":daydreaming: In any event, Good Luck and WELCOME TO THE FAMILY!!!!!


:love: Mollyanne

[MJ]

Thats got to hurt.. maybe you should be truthful with your wife and you might not have this problem ..now thats going to cost you .. you could always quit :hugs:

[tamarav]

Welcome to your new extended family where we don't care how much stuff you have! Sorry to hear about your loss, now may be the time to think about the future and better communication about the issue.

And, as everyone points out, if you have a chance you may be able to go back and collect those items.

Good luck.

Your new sis,

Tami

[Shannen]

:hugs:


...well, at least shopping for new clothes is fun, right?

[Sandra]

How about doing as some have suggested and going back to see if the clothes are still there?
Then maybe tell your wife be a lot better than her finding them if you get them back, or others that you buy.

[KandisTX]

That is not good... but maybe there is a way for you to manage to get your stuff from the old hiding place???

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Angie G]

Find A way to let her know it may make you life easier and more enjoyable. I know how you feel hun I had to get rid of some things I just loved. I wish my wife had known back then. :hugs:
Angie

[`Kayla`]

I'd drive back or hop a plane. I know exactly what you mean and how you feel...I hardly have anything I can call mine and there is a list of things I want but can't get.

Not knocking anyone or meaning to be offensive but why is it always the "tell her" answer around here? Yes I see the side of being honest...I see the "hope" of acceptance and then you not having to hide it anymore. But there are many of us here that just do not have the same type of SO that so many of you are lucky enough to have.

I've been told so many times by so many people to just sit down and talk to my wife. I'd love to do that...I'd love to have a wife that was supportive and took part in this with me. But hell has a better chance of opening an amusement park than I do of having her accept this...let alone take ANY part in it. I don't trust my wife to tell her because it would be just like her to "out" me when she's mad or if we divorced.

I want a pair of forms so bad...so tired of balloons and all that crap. I would love to have a strawberry blonde wig...and shoes...heels...oh God don't get me started. But I don't have them and don't see how I'd ever get them without her finding out or finding them.

So you get into your car and drive back to Gia and don't leave her behind. Too far to drive...hop a plane then. Can't afford a ticket...shine we should all donate a few bucks to the cause then... Cause there is NO WAY I could drive off and leave my stuff...not after not having it and then aquiring it.

Good luck

[tammie]

Hi Everyone:

Just curious, where is your stuff hidden?

Stored in a bag in the attic? It's probably already been found and thrown out.

Its not likely anyone would believe your wife had her lingerie and breast forms stored in the ductwork.

If U asked to remove something from your former premises they will want to know what it is even if its in a gym bag.

If U had them in a place that hasn't been found yet U run an extreme risk of being outed.

Don't even think about sneaking back and trying to break in or gain access by illegal means.

I am truly sorry for your loss. I also know its not an option for some of us to "come clean" at the late date after yrs of lying and hiding.

Go forward and buy what U want and what U need, place this entry in the column for the high cost of moving.

Good Luck

[Deborah Jane]

Aww Gia, i,m so sorry to hear you lost everything :hugs:

Hopefully you,ll get lucky and everything will be forwarded on to you....

If not, i guess you,ll have to see that every cloud has a silver lining....

At least now you,ve got a good excuse to go SHOPPING!!!

[Sally2005]

If it was I, I would accumulate a new collection with your wife's knowledge. Perhaps start gathering stuff for your halloween costume and see how that goes over... On the postive side, you get to update your wardrobe and accessories.

[Jennifer James]

I had a recent move and didn't get a chance to get my clothes and stuff out without getting caught. I lost everything...my forms, my wig, my corsets, bras, dresses, shoes :cry:

So now I gotta figure out how to accumulate all this stuff again without my wife finding out! Not a fun first post, but all these beautiful girls make me sad!!!

I had to do the same thing a month ago :sad: I dont have any girly stuff where i'm at i just wear my roommates once in a while

[Sam-antha]

Tis a crying shame so it is, but think on the bright side.... new fashions, shoes that really fit and that new wig you wanted for ever....

[veronicagirl]

How far from your old locale to the new one? Where was your stache hidden? House? garage? yard shed?

[suzy cool]

If you don't know the people it doesn't matter that much. You could phone them and tell them about your theatrical friend who does a secret drag act and has a stash of clothes hidden at your home. Please forward to this address etc.
There's a hundred ways to get them back if you apply your mind.

[Marjory]

I had to move from NJ to CA 10 years ago and had to leave my collection including(cry) my 1950's and sixties Capezio flats collection. They can't be replaced

[MJ]

Not knocking anyone or meaning to be offensive but why is it always the "tell her" answer around here? Yes I see the side of being honest...I see the "hope" of acceptance and then you not having to hide it anymore. But there are many of us here that just do not have the same type of SO that so many of you are lucky enough to have.

I've been told so many times by so many people to just sit down and talk to my wife. I'd love to do that...I'd love to have a wife that was supportive and took part in this with me. But hell has a better chance of opening an amusement park than I do of having her accept this...let alone take ANY part in it. I don't trust my wife to tell her because it would be just like her to "out" me when she's mad or if we divorced.


first of all you don't know if you don't try .

second if she ever finds out it could be a lot worse

i don't understand so you dress up like a girl whats the big deal ?

[Katrina]

first of all you don't know if you don't try .

second if she ever finds out it could be a lot worse

i don't understand so you dress up like a girl whats the big deal ?

I have to agree! One of the positive things that my SO said to me was that she really felt like I was more honest since I disclosed my TG-ness. She would have felt very betrayed if she had found out without me telling her. I couldn't go forward with any new relationship without disclosing that part of me. First of all, anybody new would see my shoe collection and either think I have a foot/shoe fetish, or was TG.

I have to put most of my stash in storage. We are planning on moving and I need to put most of my shoes and probably half of the rest of my goodies into storage until we are moved. I'm not looking forward to that.

[suzy cool]

I had to move from NJ to CA 10 years ago and had to leave my collection including(cry) my 1950's and sixties Capezio flats collection. They can't be replaced

That keeps happening to you.
Can you give is a map. It would be like a treasure hunt.:heehee:

[charlie]

Hello Oubabe gia!
Welcome to the forum and great to have you here! Losing all your stuff is hard. Not knowing where it went is harder. It probably would be best to at least find it or find out what happened to it. You don't need a little time bomb arriving at your new house! If that is you on your avitar, you do a great job. Cute face, makeup and all. At the vary least, have fun replacing all the goodies that you lost!

[Gia Villafana]

Well, I didn't want to go here, but here we go. It's in the crawlspace of my old apartment, on-campus, at a Christian university about an hour away.

I brought up that I used to crossdress "when I was younger", and that didn't go over too well. I guess I could quit. I am a bit dismayed by all the "be honest if you love your wife" comments :(

That is me in the avatar! I still have some pictures and I'm thankful for that. Thanks for all the support!

[MJ]

oubabe_gia Hun ,

you know you can't quit it's in your blood , you can't quit anymore than i a transsexual can quit it's just never going to happen. try to ask for your stuff back. or start over and you know to be honest telling your loved one you CD could be a wonderful start please don't let fear stop you . how do you know if you don't try
respect mj

[Ze xx]

Oh, that's a shame that you don't think you'll be able to retrieve it.

As for the 'be honest' comments, we all know that honesty is best, but I understand that it doesn't always feel like that. Personnally I wish that my SO hadn't kept it from me for so long. I do understand his reasons, but it still hurts that he felt he couldn't tell me. But then I'm not repulsed by the idea of a bloke wearing a skirt, he however didn't have a way of gauging that for sure.

I don't think quitting is the answer. Like any form of prohibition it'll make things all the more desirable anyway. If it's part of who you are it's part of who you are.

I hope you manage to replace your stash and have some fun doing so

Love Ze xx

[Jess_cd32]

Well, I didn't want to go here, but here we go. It's in the crawlspace of my old apartment, on-campus, at a Christian university about an hour away.

I brought up that I used to crossdress "when I was younger", and that didn't go over too well. I guess I could quit. I am a bit dismayed by all the "be honest if you love your wife" comments :(

That is me in the avatar! I still have some pictures and I'm thankful for that. Thanks for all the support!

You know best wether to tell ur wife or not, after all u know what her reaction will be.
BTW, gorgeous pic bb, glad u didn't loose those.

[Lee Dee]

Hi Gia and welcome. For my part your thread highlights some major themes of the crossdressing world; disclosure, honesty and the potential of loss. All are very unsafe, risky and daunting undertakings made even more threatening when so much might be at stake. If you hadn't lost your stash would you have contemplated telling your wife, probably not at this time. So two different issues, ones that are not easily resolved but exploring them is, I think, healthy. You know your options and you know you can't change who you really are. Take care, Lee

[2b.Lauren]

:cry:

I was in a similar situation once before and did what others have suggested. I went back and asked if anything had been found and returned from my place when I moved out. I was not fortunate to get my stuff back, but I tried. If you can go back and ask. Best of luck.

[CLARRISA]

Thats very sad..though look at it as an opportunity to renew it all..i'm thinking of having a clear out, my stuff is getting too worn out.. all the best

[angelfire]

Well, thats a bad situation. Good luck, hopefully you manage to get it all back. That would save you some money.

[Jaclyn NM]

I feel for you sister, since over the years, I've purged so many times and I know how that hurts, but your situation is even worse, since you weren't trying to purge. Anyway, I recently came out to my wife, and I couldn't believe how well it went. I am now dressing at home when I want to. But then again, everyone is different. If you our in a relationship that you want to last, at some point you have to be honest, and reveal who you are entirely. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.

[Maria2222]

Hi Gia,
I'm so sorry that you lost all your things. That would be crushing for me. Hopefully some of the ideas given here might help you recover them, assuming you haven't moved too far away. Otherwise, the only thing is to start over. Shopping is fun, and hopefully that will balance the pain, monetary loss, and disappointment a bit.
I'll probably get stomped for saying this, but I'm going to say it anyway. Many people have urged you to come out to your wife. In a perfect world, that would be exactly the thing to do and I couldn't agree more. Unfortunately, this is not a perfect world. Many women cannot accept the fact that their husband is a CD and they end their marriage once they find out. It's not their fault, it's just the way it is. I've seen many posts on other sites and on this one also where the CD's wife is leaving her after finding out about her crossdressing. Please take plenty of time and analyze your own situation and your wife before you make any rash decisions. Only you can decide whether this is something your wife can accept and live with and continue a loving relationship with you after finding out. I would hate to see that your next post is that your wife is leaving you and you're asking how to deal with it. I can guarantee that neither I, nor the people that urge you to tell you wife, will have an answer for you.
I wish you the best. Please take your time and act wisely.
Maria

[secretlypsycho]

Not knocking anyone or meaning to be offensive but why is it always the "tell her" answer around here? Yes I see the side of being honest...I see the "hope" of acceptance and then you not having to hide it anymore. But there are many of us here that just do not have the same type of SO that so many of you are lucky enough to have.




Um, perhaps because the idea of lying to the person who is supposed to be closest to you, of keeping a whole part of you secret from them, of effectively tricking them into a relationship without giving them a choice is selfish beyond belief and frankly utterly repulsive.

Turn the tables for a second and think how would you feel if you discovered that your wife had spent the entire time you knew her sneaking around behind your back, binding her breasts, putting on a prosthetic penis and dressing as a man - perhaps even going out as a man and trying to "impress" women who didn't know any better? I'm sure you'd be thrilled, not.

No matter where I'm at with CDing, whether I'm having a "fully accepting" day or a "wish it would all go away" day, I will always have complete respect for my husband for doing the most difficult thing he's ever done and being honest with me before our relationship moved to engagement and marriage.

To poster #1, you have nobody to blame for the loss of your things but yourself, it is a consequence of your decision to deceive your wife.

[Gia Villafana]

Psycho: thanks for your comments! They would be welcome if my thread was about "Whether or not I should tell my wife, and the morality thereof". But instead you decide to peruse the forums to find someone hiding something and crap on their thread. Guess what, it's a crossdressing forum; there's going to be people hiding stuff. Your job as a GG on these boards should be to comfort other GGs who are trying to understand why their SO dresses not to condemn someone whose situation is unlike your own.

[Sandra]

Psycho: thanks for your comments! They would be welcome if my thread was about "Whether or not I should tell my wife, and the morality thereof". But instead you decide to peruse the forums to find someone hiding something and crap on their thread. Guess what, it's a crossdressing forum; there's going to be people hiding stuff. Your job as a GG on these boards should be to comfort other GGs who are trying to understand why their SO dresses not to condemn someone whose situation is unlike your own.

Hmmm only been here a few months, I suggest that you read a few more posts from the GGs here on this forum, then you will see that our job is not to go comfort other GGs.

Firstly no one has crapped on your thread, they have a right to have their say and voice an opinion, we are all entilted to peruse the forum and post where we like.

Don't tell us GGs what we should be doing here, yet again a GG is smacked down becasue she has said what she feels, How do you know that at some point she has not been in a simallar situation where she didn't know.

For what it's worth I agree with Psycho wiht this comment "it is a consequence of your decision to deceive your wife."

Now I'll just slip off and go comfort some of the GGs here :Angry3: :Angry3:

[KandisTX]

I am inclined to agree with Sandra here, psycho did NOT 'crap on your thread'. Psycho responded with HER thoughts to another person who posted on this thread. I can also agree with the "it is a consequence of your decision to deceive your wife." comment because we CHOOSE to decieve our SO's by not telling them, and then WE are surprised when they react with distaste and disgust to finding out we are crossdressers. I have not been in a relationship where I have not been open and up front with them before it got to any stage of a relationship since my first wife (whom did not know until a year after we were married), and that was the only time the reaction to my crossdressing was a bad one. We, expect the world to accept us, and when dealing with the part of the world that does accept us (OUR SO's and the GG's on this forum), we are the ones crapping on them. We must stop this type of verbal assault on these wonderful women who do in fact accept, although they may not fully understand they at least try to, our lifestyle choices.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Ashley Helen]

Hi Gia, I know just how you feel, although my stash wasn't quite as expansive as yours. My problem was moving countries and everything going into storage until we were ready for it.
Short of telling my wife I didn't see an alternative so I lost everything. My greatest regret was deleting my photos.
Now, I am finding it very difficult, through lack of opportunity, to go out and buy all the things I lost in the move.

Ashley xx

[GypsyKaren]

Gia, I'm going to let your remarks slide because you're a new member, but this will not be repeated. It is not your place to be telling anyone what their role is here, and there will be no insulting of anyone.

Karen Starlene :star:

[secretlypsycho]

Psycho: thanks for your comments! They would be welcome if my thread was about "Whether or not I should tell my wife, and the morality thereof". But instead you decide to peruse the forums to find someone hiding something and crap on their thread. Guess what, it's a crossdressing forum; there's going to be people hiding stuff. Your job as a GG on these boards should be to comfort other GGs who are trying to understand why their SO dresses not to condemn someone whose situation is unlike your own.

:lol2::lol2:

you REALLY need to get over yourself. I don't trawl the forum looking for anything. Like most other people here, I have a read and comment if I feel inclined. And I felt inclined to comment on something that was said by something else in this thread. And I'm 99.99% sure that what I said was well within the forum rules.

As for my "job as GG on these boards", who died and made you king (or is that queen?) of the forum? Unless I missed a major announcement, nobody. And so I shall continue to do as I have always done - read, and comment or not as I feel inclined.

[Cathytg]

Oh,no!

I think I know how you feel. I used to hide all my stuff under the house which is built up on stemwall because it is in a floodplain. The inevitable happened and it all got waterlogged.

Good luck and you have my sympathy.

[Alice Torn]

Empty feeling, I bet, like losing anything dear. Just think, though, about all the people in New Orleans, Texas, and Burma, and any other place on the planet, where everything was destroyed. I lost my dear beautiful cat, in August, to coyotes, the day before, i was going to move into my own apartment. I still grieve. Thrift store finds, can build a stash, in a hurry, or Walmart. I hope this helps. Lucille Tallady

[Chloe' Buffington]

I feel for you and can identify, I lost a lot of stuff when I got discharged from the Marines in 1982, mine was as yours in a electrical crawl space in my dorm room. I wish I had some one offer what I am about to offer. I am in northern Delaware if it is near me I'll go get it for you, maintance guys can go most anywhare. Good luck and its in your blood you may purge a few times in your life but the urge only gets stronger.


Chloe'

[jessica27]

that sucks :(

[Tamara Croft]

Psycho: thanks for your comments! They would be welcome if my thread was about "Whether or not I should tell my wife, and the morality thereof". But instead you decide to peruse the forums to find someone hiding something and crap on their thread. Guess what, it's a crossdressing forum; there's going to be people hiding stuff. Your job as a GG on these boards should be to comfort other GGs who are trying to understand why their SO dresses not to condemn someone whose situation is unlike your own.Wow, you really said that... seriously... how long would you like the rest of your stay here? comfortable? or my foot up your backside. As a GG of this forum AND an administrator, I suggest you keep those kind of comments to yourself... ya dig? :Angry3:

[Shelly Preston]

Psycho: thanks for your comments! They would be welcome if my thread was about "Whether or not I should tell my wife, and the morality thereof". But instead you decide to peruse the forums to find someone hiding something and crap on their thread. Guess what, it's a crossdressing forum; there's going to be people hiding stuff. Your job as a GG on these boards should be to comfort other GGs who are trying to understand why their SO dresses not to condemn someone whose situation is unlike your own.



Ok let me see

you have a total of 3 posts since June

I dont see how you can tell someone there job when you only just got here

I am sorry but attacking the GG members here wont win you many friends

Ok I wont lecture you on if you should tell your wife but I hope someone can comfort her when she finds out all the lies you have been telling her

[Vivian Best]

Recovery starts with the first purchase! Good luck.

[rhondacdma]

i know how you feel i purged everything a few months ago now i miss my fem things ,its going to be a while before i can replace my breasts wigs and jewelry . when i dress i dont feel complete without them

[daviolin]

I know the feeling I had to do the same thing many years ago. When I moved from Colorado to Michigan. Don't fret hon there are more beautiful clothes out there just for you. Starting a new wardrobe can be fun. Think of all the fun shopping trips you will have. I know somethings are hard to replace, but keep a stiff upper lip and go shopping hon.:hugs:Daviolin (http://flickr.com/photos/daviolin)