To dear or not to dear that is the question

[wishonastar]

To dear or not to dear that is the question.

Have you called a friend “dear” or someone lady you worked with or see every day and called her “dear” without thinking about it and got snapped at?

Do you get called dear by strange women or a waitress, and it does not bother you?

I wonder why it is OK for women to called strangers or customers dear but if a man says it he is turned inside out but the women?

Is it sexist for a man to use “dear” but not a woman?

Or are men just EASY and women a bit less EASY?

(My apologies to Shakespeare.)

[sissystephanie]

I get called "dear" by lots of women. Some I know and some I don't! I could care less when called that by a waitress. The women who know me and call me that usually also give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. The only women who are allowed to kiss me on my lips are my darling daughter, my darling GGF, and maybe one or two other very close friends.

In turn, I sometimes call women I know "dear." At my advanced age, I can say what I want!!:2c:

Stephanie

Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

[TommiTN]

Never been called "dear" by a woman or a guy for that matter. My boot camp drill sergeant used to call us ladies when he was PO'd at us. :D

In the South women you don't know, such as waitresses, will address you as "Hun" (What'll it be, Hun?). It's a cultural thing with us and is just a friendly way of approaching a customer.

[Anna the Dub]

I have noticed that a lot of women at work have recently started calling me 'dear' 'hon' 'sweetie' and so on. They don't tend to use these terms with the men as terms like that are frowned upon in our office between the sexes. Some of them have started touching my arm as they are talking too. But as everyone knows I am ts and building up to transition, it says to me that I am being accepted by the women, and I love it.

[wishonastar]

Never been called "dear" by a woman or a guy for that matter. My boot camp drill sergeant used to call us ladies when he was PO'd at us. :D

In the South women you don't know, such as waitresses, will address you as "Hun" (What'll it be, Hun?). It's a cultural thing with us and is just a friendly way of approaching a customer.

You are right about the "Hun" I think it is a cultural thing.
But my point is that it is not alright for a man to call a woman Hun or dear. You would get a verbal lashing. (I have, and the Dear just slipped out.)

[Fab Karen]

No, "dear" is an old lady word:)
If you call a complete stranger who is female "honey" it can be viewed as sexist/talking down to them. It depends on the recipient.

[docrobbysherry]

the guy next to me fired his 30-06 next to my rite ear!:eek:

[Maibh]

When my next cubicle co-worker starts going overboard with organizing and tells me to do something (instead of asks) I say "yes dear."

Stops her in her tracks, sometimes she even apologizes.

[Tracii G]

I use the dear word to women all the time young or old.All I get is a smile back so they must like it.

[Rachel Morley]

No. I have never called anyone "dear" or been called it (to my face) either. I've been called "dear" in an email a couple of times before.

However, in public, when en femme, I sometimes get called "honey" or "sweetie" .... but mostly just "m'am". :)

To me, the people who call someone "dear" usually come from a person of an older persuasion :2c:

[Lesley Ann]

Where I was born and brought up in the South West of Devon, England (where the Pilgrim Fathers came from) Everyone was called 'My Lover' male and female or 'Me Dear' and this was an acceptable form of greeting. However when arriving in London I soon found out saying 'Alright my Lover' to a fellow male worker certainly was NOT acceptable. Nowadays you'd get hung drawn and quatered. Sad really, another bit of social histroy bites the dust, Well cheerio m'dears, Lesley Ann:kiss: