mean girls at the mall...

[KaraChristine]

Just spending some time thinking about my mall experiences this past weekend. There is a really nice outdoor mall near where I live in Vegas - great stores, a grassy area in the middle with activities, etc... Very fun ;-) I was there over the weekend having an awesome makeover at the MAC cosmetics store. The makeup artists there are usually very sweet and very understanding about the special trans girl concerns... I was feeling awesome - and finally very confident about how good I looked, etc... when I decided to go see a movie at the multiplex there. Bad idea as it turned out, there was a group of young women in their twenties sitting near me at the movie. They spent most of the film giggling and whispering, turning around to stare at me the whole time. They even burst out laughing at me at the end of the movie when I got up to leave. I'm usually pretty thick skinned about things like this, and I realize that not everyone can be accepting... but it just hurt so much to be knocked down when I was finally feeling so confident and positive. I was so self conscious when I was leaving - had to duck into the ladies room to have a good cry...

I wish it was easier to explain to people how hurtful their reactions can be sometimes. Guess all we can do is let it be a way to toughen up - and I understand that this kind of harassment is a LOT less worse than the physical violence that so many trans women face. Still gets you down sometimes though... (but it didn't stop me from dropping in at the Venetian on my way home to win 5 whole bucks on the penny slots!!).
http://www.lvtg.com/lvtg/members/photos/kara4fun_88.jpg

[Shelly Preston]

Kara

I am sorry to hear you were treated this way I guess some just never grow up
I hope some day they feel ashamed about there behaviour

I hope you dont have to suffer similar incidents in the future

[deja true]

At least you can take comfort in the fact that you were definitely hawter than that gaggle of ignorant bit@hes!

Prolly tourists from some place in the Ozarks and all share the same genes with their husbands and daddies!

Feh!

[MJ]

Kara ,

i am so sorry you had to go through that . just for the record you look gorgeous Hun way better than this old hag :heehee: they were just jealous and don't let that stop you from going out :hugs:

[Momarie]

At least you can take comfort in the fact that you were definitely hawter than that gaggle of ignorant bit@hes!

Prolly tourists from some place in the Ozarks and all share the same genes with their husbands and daddies!

Feh!

How about a mean "girl" on this board who is really just an ignorant mean spirited man?

I happen to live on The Lake of the Ozarks and what you said is extremely STUPID, not to mention offensive.
How can it be in this day and age when you expect so much from others in understanding YOU.......you can imply we are just a bunch of inbreds.

If I were not a REAL lady, I would tell you EXACTLY what I think of you.

[deja true]

I knew that was a mistake as soon as I said it!

I was just mad for her!

Sooooorrry, Momarie, and all our cute and intelligent and sexy and witty and elegant mountain states girls and ladies!!!

Peace?

[TommiTN]

Kara, I'm so sorry this happened to you; you certainly don't deserve it. Unfortunately we have to face these things once in a while. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and reward yourself with a new outfit or something. You are a beautiful young lady so don't let those unkind words affect your confidence!

[Dita_B]

Kara, you look awesome on both your avatar and your accompanying picture!

Those girls in that age group are sometimes very insecure and most of the time they are quite catty about the competition...

Are you sure they have read you? Or were they just being catty...?

Just to throw in my 2 bits, when something like that happens, I usually tell them that it is hard work to be a girl and that I could use a lot of help improving myself...

Most of the time that remark breaks the ice and opens up a lively conversation instead of the experience you had. Mind you, I live in Canada and not in a "worldly" community like Vegas, so I appreciate the difference. But I still advise you to try it out. People are still people and usually are quite willing to help when you open up to them...

It helps me a lot to just face the problem right head on, even if I get the impulse to hide away, as you did...

I think you look gorgeous and I also think that if the rest of you looks like the pictures of your head, the worst that can happen when you get read is that they think: "well it may be a guy in a dress, but wow does she ever look fabulous!"

Did you ever consider that they reacted the way they did because you looked better than they did? And they knew it?

Keep up the good work girl, I would go to the mall with you any time... and people would probably say: "Hey look there goes miss Canada with her ugly girlfriend", where you are Miss Canada of course!

:love:Dita.

[Gina S]

Hi Kara,
It's ashame that you had to deal with the giggling and whispering. Apparently although you said these girls were in there twenties, they have a lot of growing up to do. A real woman has empathy and compassion and should have realized how great you looked and how much work it took to look as good as you do. There may have been some sympathetic girls in the group, but unfortunately the "Pack" mentality sets in and the more submissive ones just follow along.
Glad to hear that it didn't knock you down for long and that you still had the confidence to stop and play slots at the Venetian. In my opinion, if only those girls could see how it hurt you and how you regained your confidence to continue on to other activities they could have learned a thing or two about being a real woman!
You where in the right (and looked Great!), they were in the wrong. Enuff said!
Gina

[MJ]

"Hey look there goes miss Canada with her ugly girlfriend", where you are Miss Canada of course!

:love:Dita.

Well i think Kara could pass very well for miss USA :love:

[KaraChristine]

Kara, you look awesome on both your avatar and your accompanying picture!

Those girls in that age group are sometimes very insecure and most of the time they are quite catty about the competition...

Are you sure they have read you? Or were they just being catty...?

Just to throw in my 2 bits, when something like that happens, I usually tell them that it is hard work to be a girl and that I could use a lot of help improving myself...

Most of the time that remark breaks the ice and opens up a lively conversation instead of the experience you had. Mind you, I live in Canada and not in a "worldly" community like Vegas, so I appreciate the difference. But I still advise you to try it out. People are still people and usually are quite willing to help when you open up to them...

It helps me a lot to just face the problem right head on, even if I get the impulse to hide away, as you did...

I think you look gorgeous and I also think that if the rest of you looks like the pictures of your head, the worst that can happen when you get read is that they think: "well it may be a guy in a dress, but wow does she ever look fabulous!"

Did you ever consider that they reacted the way they did because you looked better than they did? And they knew it?

Keep up the good work girl, I would go to the mall with you any time... and people would probably say: "Hey look there goes miss Canada with her ugly girlfriend", where you are Miss Canada of course!

:love:Dita.

Dita, thank you for the perspective... I think you're right - I usually smile as broadly as I can and face the derision head on - and it honestly almost always wins people over.

In this particular case, I think I was just humiliated more than anything else. There were a couple of guys sitting in the same row as me, and we had been smiling and chatting a little before the movie. When the girls burst out laughing as I stood up, the guys looked panicky and embarassed - like they had been "caught" doing something as well... just uncomfortable all around.

By the way, I think YOU would be Miss Canada and I would be the friend ;-) Victoria is gorgeous - just moved from Seattle and I had the good fortune to visit BC very often...

[Dita_B]

There were a couple of guys sitting in the same row as me, and we had been smiling and chatting a little before the movie. When the girls burst out laughing as I stood up, the guys looked panicky and embarassed - like they had been "caught" doing something as well... just uncomfortable all around.


Well honey, here you have it: the girls feared you as competition as those guys were smiling and chatting with you and NOT with them! Hence the outburst... Like I said before, girls are very nervous about competition and become very catty when they are being "threatened"...

So, when you become aware of a situation like the one you had at hand, just go over to them (the girls) and tell them why you are not "dangerous"... and again, that it is hard work to be a girl... so much to learn!

You'll be amazed at the result...

And again.... I bet YOU are Miss Canada when we would go out together... want to try it out?

:love:Dita.

[gerry]

Kara, Isn't it just weird that we can go from feeling on top of the world, to a crack in our confidence with an unkind remark. The young girls were just that, young. But otfen, I have found that when I "felt" someone was reading me, it turned out that I was mis-reading their actions. :sad:

[Jaclyn NM]

Kara, I think you look wonderful, and I would discount those girls as just being stupid and immature individuals. If I could look the way you do in your photos, I would go out everywhere, and "to hell" with anyone who made me as a crossdresser, because I don't think many would.

[Katrina]

Kara, I'm a firm believer in karma. Either they will get hit with something nasty soon, or they will be reincarnated as something undesirable.

[ReineD]

Kara, I have 3 sons - not daughters, but I have been around many young women over the years. These girls were behaving more like middle-school students than women in their 20s. Most likely they were older-looking teenagers. Yes, they are inexperienced, and have much to learn.

I do not think they felt envious of you, or felt threatened in any way, or even felt superior. IF they did read you, most likely it was nervous laughter because they felt embarrassed and unsure of how to deal with the situation. After all, you are disarmingly beautiful!

OR, they possibly were trying to impress you, or the guys you were chatting with?

I imagine a different outcome: what if you had flashed them a beautiful smile, looked at the prettiest one in the eyes and said hi? I should think you would have charmed her. And you would have impressed the h*ll out of the guys sitting in your row!

Maybe you should send good karma their way and hope they become more confident of themselves the next time they encounter a new situation.

:hugs:

[Sarasometimes]

Women can be so mean when they are threatened by beauty. Up close you may be readable but in your pics you look great. part of the problem is societal, the younger people haven't been taught how to behave properly and have manners. Think of all the times when endrab, you hold a door for a woman and can't even get a thank you out of them. Keep a stiff, properly lipsticked, upper lip (maybe even with some gloss in the center).

[jennifer easton]

Kara, no way, you look just like one of the girls how they could be so critical, is beyond me, I bet they were all skinny as rails, anorexic to no dought, they where intimidated by you and jealous of your hot look!, little snobs Jenn

[Sandra]

I agree with Reine about the laughter being embarrassment and not knowing how to handle the situation. I would have bet that had you spoke to them then they may have asked questions and then just got on with their own business.

If this happens again give them a big smile let them see that it doesn't bother you.


Women can be so mean when they are threatened by beauty.

What a stupid statement :rolleyes: no way do I feel threatened by any cder nor any woman.

[Empress Lainie]

My SO another tgirl is frequently read and on the two occasions she was ridiculed, I faced them down and gave them a short course in transgender 101. The group actually thanked me when I finished and answered their questions. They thought I was a gg until I told them.

[Di]

Well honey, here you have it: the girls feared you as competition as those guys were smiling and chatting with you and NOT with them! Hence the outburst... Like I said before, girls are very nervous about competition and become very catty when they are being "threatened"...
:love:Dita.


Women can be so mean when they are threatened by beauty. .


I bet they were all skinny as rails, anorexic to no dought, they where intimidated by you and jealous of your hot look!, little snobs Jenn

I do not like to say such things but these comments are absurd.......and I really hate saying this.....but these type of comments are totally male......thinking in terms of competition.And have nothing to do with the situation.Woman do not act this way over someone being prettier ect.......but I feel it was immature teenagers

Reine and Sandra got it right...it was a group of young or immature girls..and face it that is what young girls do...giggle and sometimes in a group act this way......
I am sorry it happened:hugs: do not let it keep you from going out again.

[sherri]

I do not like to say such things but these comments are absurd.......and I really hate saying this.....but these type of comments are totally male......thinking in terms of competition.And have nothing to do with the situation.There's nothing absurd about thinking women have a competitive mindset regarding each other's attractiveness. Maybe some don't, but I know from experience in my own relationships with GGs that many are constantly grading each other on a competitive scale, and in certain situations/contexts can feel threatened.

Maybe these girls felt threatened, maybe not. They might make fun of some of us cuz we are so homely or obvious, but in Kara's case, I imagine they didn't know how to cope with the fact that she's so attractive, so, being the dim-witted, petty little creatures they are, they reacted in the only way their characters allow, making fun of what they don't understand.

I would've stopped in my tracks, given them all a good up-and-down with plenty of eye contact, then smiled big and swished out with my head held high. It might not change their minds, but they'd know I see them for what they are.

[Sheila]

While Iam sorry you were uncomfortable with your mall experiance, some replies in this thread have made GG's just as uncomfortable, so perhaps the posters will bear that in mind in future before commenting so harshly. For a group of people desiring acceptance you can be damn harsh in your critisism of the gender you are attempting to portray.

"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is in her being"

[ReineD]

There's nothing absurd about thinking women have a competitive mindset regarding each other's attractiveness. Maybe some don't, but I know from experience in my own relationships with GGs that many are constantly grading each other on a competitive scale, and in certain situations/contexts can feel threatened.

Yes, it is true there are pecking orders. I do not like to make sweeping statements because there are people who will fall outside of this, but for women, it is based on attractiveness. For men, it is based on physical strength, money or power. But pecking order behavior in men AND women dictates that the weaker ones defer to the superior. Please believe me when I say that if these girls felt that Kara was more beautiful than them, they would NOT have behaved the way they did. They would have respected her. It is more likely they were embarrassed, or maybe a little afraid, because I am sure they have not had much exposure to CDers and they do not understand what it is all about. Likely it looked "weird" to them and made them feel uneasy, and they did not know how to behave other than to diffuse the situation with laughter.

Not to burst your bubble, but I can't imagine a woman who would feel threatened by a CDer. There is no comparison, no matter how attractive the CDer!


I imagine they didn't know how to cope with the fact that she's so attractive, so, being the dim-witted, petty little creatures they are, they reacted in the only way their characters allow, making fun of what they don't understand.


Kara, no way, you look just like one of the girls how they could be so critical, is beyond me, I bet they were all skinny as rails, anorexic to no dought, they where intimidated by you and jealous of your hot look!, little snobs Jenn

You are certainly entitled to your opinions, but if we are to work towards a greater acceptance of CDing in our society, it would help if we felt a tad more compassionate of people who are unsure how to treat CDers. People will respond much more favorably to sensitivity than to petty, judgmental tirades.

Cheers!

[sherri]

You are certainly entitled to your opinions, but if we are to work towards a greater acceptance of CDing in our society, it would help if we felt a tad more compassionate of people who are unsure how to treat CDers. People will respond much more favorably to sensitivity than a judgmental tirade.There is a big, big difference between being "unsure how to treat CDers" and public ridicule. That's just mean, it hurt Kara's feelings for no good reason, and those girls ought to be ashamed of themselves. I was recently treated similarly in public, and I can tell you for a fact that such treatment is unwarranted and mean-spirited, and it really hurts. I didn't give the offending person the tongue lashing she deserved, or at least tell her how much she hurt my feelings, but now I wish I had.

By the way, I think I can offer an opinion on this incident without it being construed as a "tirade", and nothing I said should or could be construed as GG-bashing. So I'd appreciate it if you'd tone down your reaction and lighten up on the lecturing just a tad, ok?

:)

[ReineD]

I was recently treated similarly in public, and I can tell you for a fact that such treatment is unwarranted and mean-spirited, and it really hurts.

By the way, I think I can offer an opinion on this incident without it being construed as a "tirade", and nothing I said should or could be construed as GG-bashing. So I'd appreciate it if you'd tone down your reaction and lighten up on the lecturing just a tad, ok?

I'm sorry you experienced a negative reaction too and I sincerely hope you have many more positive experiences in the future. I understand why you feel hurt.

I've read many threads here where the advice from the more seasoned CDers is to not take it so personally when people react unpredictably to situations they do not feel comfortable in, and hold your head up high, walk with confidence, and continue to smile. This will do more to help change biased attitudes out there than chastisement.

It wasn't GG bashing I was objecting to (teenage boys might have guffawed too), but first the expectation that everyone should instinctively know how to deal with this, and then hurling personal insults at them when they don't. I still think compassion would produce better results than insults.

[Karen__Starr]

Kara, sorry to hear about this...Personally I have troubles seeing how they "made you" as you look beyond passable :)

[sherri]

I've read many threads here where the advice from the more seasoned CDers is to ... hold your head up high, walk with confidence, and continue to smile.Isn't that exactly what I suggested in my original post?


This will do more to help change biased attitudes out there than chastisement ... I still think compassion would produce better results than insults.I think that depends on the situation and the people involved. Ask anyone who has suffered long-term prejudice and discrimination and they'll tell you there's a time for the olive branch and there's a time for standing up for yourself. There's not much to be gained from meekly and silently suffering rudeness and meanness -- in fact, it might just reinforce such behavior in people boorish enough to exhibit it in the first place.

One thing I will concede, primarily because I've tried it with some success, is that some situations can be defused by responding with a proactive attitude. Sometimes engaging the offending party with a smile and conversation can turn the situation around, maybe even win a convert. But that is not universally true. Some people should be chastised, and some people are such cretins that nothing would help, in which case the best thing to do is to just cut your losses and walk away.

Any of us who are truly interested in changing public perception and improving interaction, and are willing to work it out in the trenches, just have to gauge each situation and person on their own merits and try to respond in the most appropriate way. We will win some and we will lose some. But I do agree with you that while some situations warrant a sterner response, no one wins by losing our heads and sinking to the level of the idiots who insult us. :D


It wasn't GG bashing I was objecting toActually, you did exactly that, although I don't think there was any bashing being done, except to underscore the deplorable behavior of the girls in that theater.


but first the expectation that everyone should instinctively know how to deal with this, and then hurling personal insults at them when they don't. Nowhere did I recommend swapping insults. I think you were just reading that into it.

Peace. :love:

[ReineD]

But I do agree with you that while some situations warrant a sterner response, no one wins by losing our heads and sinking to the level of the idiots who insult us. :D

Agreed. Although I do not think people who react unfavorably to CDing do so necessarily because they are idiots. Some, like the young girls in question, might just be at a loss to know how to react. It is my experience that young people are more open to being educated in a positive manner.


and nothing I said should or could be construed as GG-bashing.

I was responding to your original comment above.


Nowhere did I recommend swapping insults. I think you were just reading that into it.

I recognize you did not tell Kara she should have called the girls dim-witted, petty little creatures, but often the attitudes we hold come through in our interactions with people and an unspoken word, or a look, can be just as antagonistic as if the words had been spoken.

Having said this, I allow that we both got our buttons pushed in this thread. We obviously read different motives in the young girls who laughed, and we will never know why they reacted the way they did. I am sorry I accused you of being judgmental. You were understandably upset by the outcome and you were venting your feelings. I have done this many times as well, in the F.A.B. forum.

I hope we can put this behind us and return this thread back to Kara.
: olivebranch : :hugs:

[KaraChristine]

I just want to thank everyone again for all the thoughtful comments. There are obviously many ways of looking at a situation like this.... but I also think there are many ways in which you've all basically been on the same page. The passion and concern and support that we show each other really shines through in this thread.

With respect to what happened to me - I was upset and venting a bit, probably because I was feeling vulnerable that day. The truth is probably that EVERY individual is unique and expresses themselves differently - I have tons of GG friends who have been so incredibly supportive of my transition - they've helped me through more than I can ever say... so the behavior of the young women at the mall is not indicative of anything other than that specific interaction. And honestly, I think we can never 100% understand someone else's motivation - they may have behaved the way they did for reasons that I will never know, and I certainly reacted the way I did for a million reasons of my own...

The cliches that we always hear seem very true and applicable in this case: "the only thing you can control is your own reaction - so try to be as kind, open, accepting and pleasant as possible and you will be ok..." :D

Kara (aka Pollyanna) ;)

[karynspanties]

Kara, from what I can see, they must have been jealous. You are VERY pretty. Pay those beeaaatches no mind. I would have been very proud to have you on my arm.

[KateSpade83]

If you looked as good as your pink top picture I can't see how you were read!

[DemonicDaughter]

who made a comment about the girls feeling threatened, jealous, competitive, etc and chalked it up to being a woman:

What gender do you identify with? A masculine or feminine one? Do you realize that technically you are making the same statements about yourself when you say "women are [fill in the blank]"? Unless of course you identify as masculine only. Then you are generalizing those on the board that identify as feminine. Doesn't sound very nice to talk about each other that way.

I say, those girls were exactly as the title suggests, mean. Whether it was because of reading you, your outfit, the way you sat, maybe a booger was hanging out of your nose, it doesn't matter. PEOPLE are mean. Either they mature and learn to express themselves like intelligent human beings or doom themselves to a life of repeated mistakes and endless drama.

You are who you are. Don't let ANYONE take that away from you.

[Jennifer Devine]

They're just jealous of such a beautiful woman :)

Jen xxxxx

[Stormgirl]

Sounds like the typical females...I don't see why they were hating,you look beautiful and passable IMO.

And for those GGs,I'm sorry that I've offended you but I'm a bitter person when it comes to women. I've tried to let go of the past but I can't. I know that not all GGs are bad and some are genuine(Like Tam) but I've yet to meet a good GG in person.

[divamissz]

It's terrible, but it's part of our reality. There will always be some people who see us as a joke, not as people. So, what do you do? Since large caliber firearms clash with my outfits, I just look directly at them, smile in that "bless your heart" way good southern girls do, and go on my way.

I feel better, even if they don't care.

[victoriamwilliams1]

You look great, and it is ashame that some people cannot grow up and act their age.

[Jess_cd32]

Sorry to hear about that experience.
These kids, even if they knew the pain (some of them) cause would still do it again unfortunatly.
On the other hand there are kids that age that would luv to chat w/ you and ask you tons of questions and be enthralled by and admire you.

Your a great looking girl, great looking girls your going to find out have to deal also w/ jealousy problems more than you'll know. My gf, who is very attractive has told me horror stories that have happened to her all her life because of her looks, I was shocked hearing it all. Girls can be downright nasty, some of them. Are you sure they were laughing because your TS, or just way to good looking for them?

I'm sure so many people can tell you a similar tale, shrug if off as immature stupid kids and hold your head high again hon.

[Farrah]

Girl I wouldn't worry about them. They were very shallow to do that. They were probably jealous because you looked just as good as they did. Don't let them get you down. Keep doing what you do girl!!:love:

[Sherrii]

Kara,

I know this wouldn't help you at the time, but if you look at your picture you will see you look just great! I wouldn't worry what any bunch of b itches has to say. You look great! Wish I had such looks. Just forget about them.

Sherrii

[moses]

As a GG who was the butt of many a giggling fit throughout MS and HS, I can understand completely how you felt. The worst part (for me anyway) was never knowing WHY they are laughing. I probably imagined 100 really terrible things (my clothes, my hair, my breath, who I was with, what I was doing, is my fly down, do my socks match, is there a new rumor floating around, is there something between my teeth, do I have a stain on my pants, toilet paper on my shoe, etc, etc). There was absolutely NOTHING I could do about it. They weren't going to tell me WHY they were laughing and they CERTAINLY weren't going to be compassionate if I told them how uncomfortable it made me. Although it got me terribly depressed at the time, I can look back at it with a totally different mindset (not to mention the fact that I make at least three times what most of them will ever hope to earn): they are just being themselves, even if being themselves means making other people feel bad. They have just as much right to it as I have to be my self. As much as I'd like to (and trust me, I would if I could), I will never be able to change the world so that everyone is nice to everyone else. I can only offer one piece of advice...take someone with you (or if you are by yourself, call a friend). The only bad part about the whole situation is having to face it alone. There is safety (and comfort) in numbers, and I'm sure if you had had someone with you the two of you would have found something to laugh about.

[Nicole Erin]

First of all, this kind of suprises that it happened in LAs Vegas of all places. It is not like that is a small religious town. LAs Vegas for god's sake!



"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is in her being"

So how beautiful were the girls [not ladies] who made Kara cry? Kara was not out to get laughed at, she was out minding her own business, trying to be herself. They carried themselves like a bunch off ass-clowns.

So Kara, it is true that sometimes we have days that something shakes our confidence down to the core. You will recover, and don't let this stop you.

I guess it is easy for me to say this but if you had talked to them and acted confident, they probably would have left you alone. Chicken-poop people tend to not know how to respond when they are acting stupid and it doesn't bother someone. Bullies feed on insecurity of themselves and others.

You do look really good, I might add. I imagine those girls probably act that way everywhere they go. It could have been a person with one arm and they would be laughing. Individually though, those girls are probably the biggest chickens around.

Those girls have it coming. I guarantee they have laughed at many folks and one day it will bite them hard.

[MJ]

So how beautiful were the girls [not ladies] who made Kara cry? Kara was not out to get laughed at, she was out minding her own business, trying to be herself. They carried themselves like a bunch off ass-clowns.


but i still get the crappy end of the stick it won't stop me. i just don't care what others think of me. there is no excuse for being rude.
Evan after i had my hair done and felt great i went to book my flight for scc the guy who booked my flight called me sir !!! up till then i was having a good day just pick yourself up dust yourself off and go on

[suzanne]

That experience truly sucks, and I wouldn't wish it on anybody. But from what I read here of the positive experiences of others, it is just an ugly blip that is becoming rarer. I hope this one event won't make you hesitate in the slightest to go out again. Take that gorgeous look of yours out and flaunt it as often as you can!

[Rachel Morley]

I think they were mean and perhaps immature. As far as getting read is concerned just put that down to mathematical probability. The more times you go out to mainstream places the higher the chance that one day someone will read you.

Going on your pic alone, I bet if you were to "run this by the numbers" I bet you still come out on top - right? I mean I bet 9 times out of 10 you never have a problem - right?

[Celeste]

Kara,you have always looked great and I can see no justifiable cause for their behavior,just delete them from memory altogether.

[Satrana]

I had a similar experience sitting in a cinema dressed as well. Except this was not just a group of immature young girls feeling confident they could be rude because they were in a gang, my experience was individual women with boyfriends/husbands who were giggling and whispering behind my back. My wife was with me and she got so upset that she had to leave and I followed.

I think this shows that meanness, while not often encountered, can develop in this type of scenario where a person has been pinpointed and openly ridiculed which then encourages others to join in - essentially a pack mentality is generated even though the women were not together.

[bimini1]

I just feel like most people think TG is something to laugh at and make fun of.

Are they ignorant, yes. But in this society I wonder if I wasn't TG myself, would I be acting the same way.

The mentality of tg phobia is very pervasive.

[AKAMichelle]

In this particular case, I think I was just humiliated more than anything else. There were a couple of guys sitting in the same row as me, and we had been smiling and chatting a little before the movie. When the girls burst out laughing as I stood up, the guys looked panicky and embarassed - like they had been "caught" doing something as well... just uncomfortable all around.

Since no one has mentioned it, I guess it is up to me. It sounds like you might have been talking with the guys in your row and they were being rather nice. If that is the case, the reason for the laughter is that you were so convincing to the guys and the girls figured out who you were. Imagine for a second the laugh of the guys hitting on you and finding out you were a guy. It may have been just that simple. Either way the girls were rough to take.

Keep your head high next time. You looked great and just go on with your life. The girls aren't going to make any real difference in the rest of your life. Now go back out and enjoy!

[Jennifer Marie P.]

I say they were jealous and some girls are like that very catty in there personal and you might never see them again anyway. Just be yourself don'y let a few immature girls get you down.

[khloey]

I went thorough once and it was 3 monthes ago,trying a skirt on which I loved on the spot,the saleswoman thought it looked terrible on me and called me a freak.Luckily finally saw the manager whom my wife Lindsey knows and it was taken care of on the spot telling I looked great wearing it.I still have the skirt.

[Alex!]

I'm sorry you had to go through that. My guess is those twits had major insecurities to deal with. Just like a homophobic guy who freaks out around a gay man, these girls have issues they probably don't know how to deal with.

[susan fuller]

No matter how they acted it was wroung. You make a very beautiful woman and I think they were just jealous of how you looked. Keep your head up and keep looking as good as you do. Your opiniion of how you look is really all that counts.

[LA CINDY LOVE]

I wanted to say something early but I just did not know how to say it.......in a good way.

When a CD walks out the front door they are in the real world and not crossdressers.com were every thing you do say or wear is supported, once in the real world you have no support but the confidence and strength you have in your self.

You let these kids hurt you and put you down so bad that you cried in the bath room, when a CD gert's read we try to educate them about crossdressers or.............WE STAND OUR GROUND.

What happens when these kids read another CD they are going to think about you and what they did and do it again because they did not learn anything.

By not teaching them about cross dressers or standing your ground they think and feel that we are week and can be push around, put one day they will run into a cross dresser who is not about teaching and WILL STAND THERE GROUND.

LA CINDY LOVE

[goofus]

Unfortunately, with the present state of crossdressing still being seen as a freakish thing, people are going to laugh at you or whatever (especially if you go out to where the "straight" people hang out!) . But I think you have to just let it roll off your back - after all, they were the ones acting like nimrods, not you. As a previous poster said, it was probably tourists who came from someplace where they haven't had a lot of exposure to, or education about, crossdressing.
It could have been so much worse - if the worst thing they do is laugh at you, so what? Besides, they might not have been laughing solely at you.

[Miss Tessa]

Violence is true girl.

This year I:

-Had my arm and nose broke by 34th streeters who put their hand up my skirt durring the Robbery.

-Had my wrist and hand broke by the same gang (34th Street/DRAK)

-Been pushed out of a car on Nebraska Ave by a guy who picked me up and split my head open with stitches.

[Natasha Carlo]

This is why I'm afraid to go out... people can be really mean :(

Kara I thought you looked fantastic in that picture, don't let a few bad apples bring you down. I only wish I had your strength and courage! Keep moving forward and don't look back :)