feelings after My mother in laws death

[janelle]

Evening Ladies, we layed my mother in law to rest a week ago Thursday. At my wife's request I presented as male. The feeling I had were just super terrible, but I did do it for her & I made it. The problem that I have now is, I have been willing to take my time to get to the stage of getting the surgery, but with the feelings I had & not knowing how long it could take, I would just like to bobit & be done. Yes I know that I then would never be able to have the appearance of the right parts but that ugly thing would be gone. I know, I have no intent of doing any thing But this does play heave with my tiny brain cells. Guess want I need to to find some one who accepts me for me & hope that we could spend some time together, I do not know. Do any of you have any wonderful thoughts?????????
I plan on talking these feelings over with my therapist asap, but it takes her time to get me in. I cherish what alot of you have to say so please say what you think.

Have a wonderful night & Day tomorrow.

Hugs & Kisses,
Janelle

[Kimberley]

Janelle, I have been through this a couple of times. The problems were not me but my wife's and her needs. It took me a while to figure that out and when I did, I was able to separate them and move forward.

I learned I couldn't take on her grief to ease her pain, it just made things worse for me. I had my own feelings about the death to deal with.

I dont know if this is of any help. Hopefully.

Yes, talk to your therapist.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[janelle]

Oh sweetie that makes a ton of sense. I also had it come to me that the trouble my daughter & son in law are having also is adding to this. With your comments I know that THEY have to work out the trouble & I can only be there to lend an ear too.

Thank you for helping me see a different view. It still is hard as I no longer want to be some thing I am not. It has been too many years of that already.
Thanks sweetie, night.

Janelle