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View Full Version : Don't act like a victim



tamarav
09-19-2008, 04:28 AM
You have all heard it before, animals can sense it if you act like a victim. Unfortunately, humans are still animals and we still have the ability to determine when a person acts like a victim, ready to be pounced upon.

I deal with clients daily, all sexes, who are assured and stand strong in situations. But, I also deal with poeple whose heads are hung down, walk with no purpose, and seek ridicule wherever they go. Sad but true, some people just spend their lives acting like they should be attacked, over and over.

No one should be like that, and as special people we really have to watch how we act. We sometimes tend to avoid eye contact with people we meet, look down and scurry away from contact, hide in the darkest corners of the room, talk in whispers. You know the look, we have all done it to some extent. Unfortunately once again, we draw more negative attention to ourselves than we can overcome by how good we may look.

I see it in un-sure women who just "get by" everyday, get taken advantage of by everyone, miss out on opportunities because they don't have enough positive feelings about themselves that they don't even try. They are afraid to try a new "out of comfort-zone haircut" because of what someone else may think. They dress in the dumpiest clothes because they don't feel that they will look good enough in anything else.

Well, lets not let this happen to us. Be proud of who you are, hold your head up, smile at everyone you meet. When you smile you show that you are self assured and that you are not the victim. Don't let others dictate how you live by allowing them to stiffle your creative side. Be creative, be happy with who you are (you don't have to be dressed to to do this!) and love those that are precious to you.

Above all, love yourself and accept yourself for the special person that you are. Don't allow yourself to be or become the victim simply because you don't feel you are good enough. You are!

Your sis,

Tami

deja true
09-19-2008, 05:35 AM
Right you are, Tammi!

Male mode, female mode, andro mode, dog or cat mode, whatever!

Standing up for yourself however you present makes you more confident and self assured.

I'm still learning that...and getting happier with myself every day!

Chin up, boys and girls! Don't let the *******s grind you down! :D

Karen Francis
09-19-2008, 06:39 AM
Basic positive thinking eloquently put. And you are so right, it applies to each of us whatever mode we are in. The part about living your life by another persons opinions or standards is the one of the biggest mistakes.

Kate Simmons
09-19-2008, 07:12 AM
Yep, body language and our manner and bearing tell a lot about us. I've found that if we show confidence, are outgoing and friendly, it tends to be contagious with others. The point is, we never know until we try.:)

nikki47
09-19-2008, 07:58 AM
Hi Tami,what an excellent post.Let us all be positive and proud of who we are.

Nikki

Samantha43
09-19-2008, 08:16 AM
Very well stated, Tami. People will always respond better to someone who is positive and up beat.

pamela_a
09-19-2008, 08:20 AM
You are so right Tami. Your attitude and how you carry yourself if often more important than how you look. Confidence breeds confidence and if you're not confident then fake it until you are. It doesn't matter how you look, male, female, other, or none; hold your head up high and stand proud.

-Paula-

KimberlyS
09-19-2008, 09:11 AM
Well said Tami.

sherri
09-19-2008, 09:19 AM
Excellent post. Dead-on, sister.

Angie G
09-19-2008, 09:22 AM
Very good Tamara I Alwat try to wear a smile. :hugs:
Angie

CLARRISA
09-19-2008, 09:36 AM
Well said Tammi, Its funny because i've just come back in from a trip to the Chemist to get nail varnish remover and things, and i noticed how i was criss crossing the road if i saw anyone coming down the path,and that i was also looking down at the floor when i felt people looking..i was quite scared, one girl i passed gave me the most intent look as i passed her, i'd not experienced it that bad before as normally i feel i'm almost invisible, i was paranoid that maybe the wig wasn't on right or something but i'd done all my pre-checks etc..i certainly felt exposed and i was kind of just waiting for someone to say something of ridicule...but seeing your message has giving me a lift. Thanks

Edyta_C
09-19-2008, 10:41 AM
We all tend to have a poor self image and may reinforce it by choosing outfits that don't project a positive image. I have to lead my wife to outfits that are more positive image, because of her self image. She is beautiful inside so much so that it really does show on the outside. If she doesn't dress well, it lessens that. I think that this is true of many of us here on the forum. While we all like a short skirt or a blouse that shows some cleavage, for many of us that is not a real positive image. Still it is fun to play with. But I always try with make up and dress to project a better image and to boost what little confidence I can muster. The clothes may not make the man but they do alot to make a woman a lady.

Hugs Edyta

DeeDeeB
09-19-2008, 10:58 AM
Well put. I can't tell you how many years it took me to start to acknowledge my self worth, and it's a daily effort to keep it up.

Dee :fairy1:

Jenna Lynne
09-19-2008, 11:07 AM
Thanks, Tami! Your message was the lift I needed this morning.

***Jenna Lynne***

Tracii G
09-19-2008, 11:53 AM
Very well put Tami.

KandisTX
09-19-2008, 11:57 AM
Very well put Tami, too many times I see those very same people who walk around slumped over with hunched shoulders asking "Why can't I?", or "Why does this or that happen"? A little self respect can do a lot to improve ones self image. Hold your head up and you can see what the world is throwing at you and react to it, not because of it.

Kandis:love::rose2:

PamelaTX
09-19-2008, 02:52 PM
Thanks, Tami. This is a message that needs to be repeated often.

Stand up straight, look the other person in the eye, and be proud. You may be surprised to find that they are afraid of you!

Roberta Llyan
09-19-2008, 06:37 PM
Above all, love yourself and accept yourself for the special person that you are. Don't allow yourself to be or become the victim simply because you don't feel you are good enough. You are!

Your sis,

Tami



RIGHT ON, girl. Excellent words of wisdom and I agree with you 100%. I've been doing this ever since I came out full time and it works. I'm still having wonderful success in my CD/TG adventures every day.

Each and every day, in every single way, I AM doing better and better and, as a result, I am more and more beautiful.

STAND PROUD!

Hugs.