I'm becoming "main-stream"

[tamarav]

I was just looking back at some of my pictures, which I do everytime I take some, to see how I can improve my passing ability. It appears that I am becoming more of a "main-stream" woman everyday.

What I mean is that I don't wear costumes or 7 inch heels or latex or PVC for my pictures. I look just like any other woman, or hope I do! Over the past few years I have become more of an average woman and attempt to fit into the flow of life just as any woman would. I still get the greatest thrill in life dressing, although I do it daily and with gusto!

I know that there a lot of us that are happy with our level or style and just want to enjoy it. Am I becoming too staid or complacent? My wife has no problems with me being dressed every day or not. Her only hold-back is that she doesn't like acrylic "dragon woman" nails on me when I am not dressed. Easy enough to comply with, I simply don't.

Has life become too easy, am I losing my edge? Is it becoming so routine that I don't have the same thrill that I used to? These and many more questions come to mind at 3 in the morning when I can't seem to sleep.....

[yms]

Try Tylenol Simply Sleep.

No, but seriously, I do understand what you are saying. I don't dress every day the way you do, but when I do, which is a few times a week, it's always to go out and do stuff. I can't just sit in the house.

So there are days when I have to look down and see what I'm wearing, because the two no longer feel different. Like most women, I don't wear makeup every day, or skirts and heels.

I don't have an answer for you, though, because I don't have an answer for myself. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

[Kate Simmons]

I think when we reach a certain comfort level, some of us become "main stream" Tami. I get the feeling myself and getting dressed these days is like putting on a pair of socks, no biggie. The thing is when we reach that level what do we do with it? My thinking is to just be ourselves and enjoy it because, after all, we just want to be looked at as a regular person.We can still be ambassadors for TG folks but the emphasis is on being a person and that is hard to beat by any means. Works for me.:)

[deja true]

Doesn't sound like a bad thing to me, Tammi!

That's exactly where I'd wanna be, too. Just living everyday as a regular day, at home , at work, in the world.

[erickka]

Mainstream is good. I think that after a while, we all get more comfortable with who we really are, thus making everything feel much more "normal" to us. I personally , have gotten to the point that when I'm wearing my breast forms and casual heels, I have to remind myself that I am wearing them, since it has become so second nature to me. Maybe that means that I have become more mainstream myself. BTW, you always look super, and display yourself in an elegant manner. Kudos to you,T.

[Cindi Johnson]

Much the same here. Now that I go out most days, I've realized I'm more likely than not to wear capri's than a skirt. Rarely now do I go out in a dress (even though I'd prefer to wear one every day). It seems I just fit in better with the GG's that way.

Still, when I see a woman wearing just a bland T-shirt and pants, with no makeup and jewelry, I want to say to her (apologies to Dr. Phil) "What are you thinking!!!???".

I can't imagine ever leaving the house in-fem without, at a minimum, powder, eyeliner and lipstick (and earrings, bracelets, a ring, maybe a necklace).

Cindi Johnson

[Chari]

Tami, Always great to read your posts and see your pics, and this post is no exception! IMO, we all get to a point when life becomes "routine" no matter what gender we are presenting and have to expand our horizons (again). If you have any "spare time" LOL, and not too many of us women do, consider studying something you haven't tried before, in either gal or guy mode, ie skydiving, mountain climbing, needlepoint, flower arranging, etc. You can always do what most women love to do and go shopping! As for your insomnia, try counting all those pairs of shoes you have.

[Sara Jessica]

I think a lot of us go through this, whether we go out occasionally like me or daily like you. The basics simply become enough to match our desire for feminine expression. Femininity isn't measured by whether you're wearing a dress or the height of our heels, it's a state of mind. Getting to where something as simple as capri pants and a top works just as well as getting dressed up to the nines is a wonderful place to be, not to mention it helps us blend in with the mainstream that much better.

[ggtracy]

it sounds like a great thing to me. You have really embraced your feminine qualities and because you are experiencing life as a woman most of the time, you are becoming more comfortable in your own skin.

this is exactly the topic that us GGs repeat over and over. being feminine is a part of who you are, the definition changes for each of us. but we are all in aggreement that it has very little to do with clothes and makeup. in fact, with all life's other stressors- job, kids, relationships- who has the time to worry about how they look 100% of the time.

welcome to womanhood!

[Lori31]

When I dress, I rarely "dress up", Unless it is for pictures or something. Otherwise it is pretty casual in order to "blend in". I usually just study what women are wearing when I'm out and about and try to emulate that.

[celeste26]

Sorry to say but I suggest that you don't let yourself think in those terms, because no matter how mellow it seems there will at sometime be the sour notes and maybe even danger. It might just come out of "nowhere" but even so, be at least partly wary all the time.

Even the GG's need to have some caution.

[KimberlyS]

Tami, it sounds like you have reach your destination. A point of balance and comfort with who you are and those around you are also in balance with that. A life balance and happiness. Now you may not say here forever, but it is a point of balance that we all seek in our lives.

[Jocelyn Renee]

I've felt the same way for some time. The fact that CDing has gone from thrilling to normal has been a blessing as I no longer see Jocelyn as a separate person or view my femme side as some sort of aberration. The intense thrill may be gone, but it's been replaced by a feeling of normalcy that I much prefer.

[KandisTX]

Years ago, in my youth, my dressing was purely for arousal purposes and was done with as soon as I "took matters into my own hands" as it were. Then one day, I chose to NOT do that and remain dressed until the arousal subsided, I found that I still had the same sense of satisfaction and comfort at that point wearing my sisters clothing as I did when I first got aroused, and I was not wearing anything "special". Most of my dressing involves a more "conservative" or "reserved" style, meaning I dress to blend in, not necessarily to "pass", but to blend in with society and those around me. If I am going to a fetish event, I surely am going to dress as such, however if my wife and I are going out for dinner, I am going to dress appropriately. I think we all get into a point when we realize that the "fetish" clothes are not what we seek any more, but they are still around for "special" occasions, because one never knows when that pvc mini and thigh high boots are going to come in handy ;)

Kandis:love::rose2:

[RikkiOfLA]

Hi Tami,

Actually, I think that reaching a point of feeling "normal" when dressed is an accomplishment to be a bit proud of! After all, it proves that you really ARE a crossdresser--this isn't just a passing phase, or something that you got into as a challenge, or to prove something. It is a real part of you. Isn't that a good feeling?

And you do it so well! You are always a credit to our community, the way you dress, the way you behave, and what you do when dressed--running your own beauty salon, taking care of both GGs and transgendered women. Way to go!

As I approached that point myself, I had to admit to myself that I really was more comfortable dealing with people when I was dressed as a woman. That surprised me, for sure, but it did explain some of the shyness I usually felt as a child and a teenager. Now, having dressed full-time for ten years, I still take pride in my appearance, whether I am dressed up for dinner or just wearing jeans and a tee shirt to work around the house, like I was yesterday. Dressing as a woman brings comfort, pleasure, and a sense of accomplishment to every day life. I love living this way, and would I can't imagine ever choosing to go back.

Enjoy! You've arrived!

Sincerely,
Rikki

[abundantly_me]

this is exactly the topic that us GGs repeat over and over. being feminine is a part of who you are, the definition changes for each of us. but we are all in aggreement that it has very little to do with clothes and makeup. in fact, with all life's other stressors- job, kids, relationships- who has the time to worry about how they look 100% of the time.

welcome to womanhood!

Some bold words to have stated on a crossdressing site, but I for one am so glad you did!

[Karren H]

So can I borrow you PCV mini dress and 7" heels? :)

And don't you dare!! Hahaha

I've always dressed conservatively, mainstreamish... so I understand where your at... But then again I was. never got into costumes so I don't understand where you came from.. Lol.

[Sarah...]

That would suit me just fine thanks! "Main-stream"? That's where I so desperately want to be. My clothes are - I just have to catch up with them more often.:D.

Sounds like a good balance to me Tamara.

Sarah...

[charlie]

I dress to go out at night to clubs and restaurants. I need the 4" heels, a great looking dress, nylons, wig and makeup to feel good. I want to be a well dressed woman when I go out. Dressing in jeans, t-shirt and no makeup would not be me..Charlie. Now I dress only 8-10 times a month so perhaps I just have not hit the threshold where it just gets to be to much trouble to get all dressed up.

[PamelaTX]

I spent a lot of years fantasizing before I got up the guts to actually buy some femme clothing, and now that I'm finally doing that and trying to build a wardrobe, I find I'm not much interested in the "sexy French maid costume" type of stuff. It's true I did fantasize (a lot) about such things, but now that I'm actually investing money in clothing, I find I'm much more interested in looking classy and sophisticated. At the moment, I find designer dresses and stylish outfits much more exciting than skimpy costumes or PVC skirts.

It seems like "main stream" is really where I want to be. And to tell you the truth, no one is more surprised by this than me.

[KaraChristine]

In my experience, when I first started dressing I felt like I had to look "uberfemme" just to even remotely appear female. It took some practice and some confidence to realize that I didn't always need thigh lacy stockings, tons of makeup and leather mini skirts to feel female. Now it's more often well fitting jeans and pink flip flops when I go out...

Of course, the thigh highs and mini skirts are still fun once in a while !! :D

[Angie G]

Tamara please don't ever lose you edge hun we all want you as you are.:hugs:
Angie

[_Cecilie_]

For some reason I feel better when I dress "mainstream", it's like I'm more a normal girl somehow. But it's more exciting when I dress up :)

[KelliBennett]

There is nothing wrong with mainstream. But there is nothing wrong with a little feminine style thrown in. One woman at work is a big inspiration. Even on casual days there is a strong sense of style in what she wears even if she is in flats, jeans and a cute sweater. But quite often is in skirts and dresses along with cute shoes. It varies greatly but always cute and/or feminine.

I find as I move more and more to a possible transition, that I have been experimenting with different styles, casual, business(casual) and still dressed up. But I love all the variations that come with different things.

You will not however find me in sweats and flipflops. First of all I hate things between my toes. And second you can dress casual without looking like a slob.

But have fun tamara and wear what you like.

[Dita_B]

First of all: Thank you Tamara, for another excellent post/thread...

The mainstream thing is something I can imagine, but not (yet) relate to... I go out and about some 12 - 15 times per month, so I am about 50% of my time en femme. I am also working hard to get my job situation worked out and as soon as I have finalized that, I am going full time... (Luckily my CEO likes and admires Dita, he's always looking at my legs)

I definitely don't dress to blend in, I dress to stand out and I crave the attention. So I can't imagine to ever become "main stream"...

But I have also learned never to say "never", so who knows.

And BTW Tamara: You are my inspiration and I suppose the inspiration of many on this forum...

Please keep up the good work,

:love:Dita.

[marie354]

I guess I sort of understand...
It seems that it's all becoming more normal than it used to be.
I don't go many places, (Clubs, bars, etc.), any more except shopping with a friend once or twice a week. :battingeyelashes:

I still get a thrill when I'm out and about.
I have found it to be very enjoyable, all in all.

[ReineD]

I compare what you've described to the different stages of a romantic relationship.

New love is so thrilling, intense, you cannot stop thinking about your partner. You cannot eat or sleep. His very essence fills your being and you live for the moment when you will be with him again. This intense love is self-sacrificing. You forego your own needs in order to please your lover. But it also depletes, leaving room for little else.

And then as love matures, it loses its edge, its intensity, its extreme highs and lows. It evolves into something much deeper and more satisfying. It stabilizes. There is comfort in knowing that it will stay the course. It is a choice. A commitment that leaves room for other experiences that enrich our lives. Yet the chemistry that bonds us is still there.

[erica12b]

i have only wanted to be main stream , i dont want to stand out

[erickka]

GGTracy... Welcome , and thanks for your input. I agree with your statement about being feminine 100%. It is all a state of mind, not the clothes.There are so many GG's that are sexy as hell in jeans, tank tops and flip-flops, that it drives me nuts!!