Saw a guy wearing dangle earrings...

[jenni_xx]

Hi

I got on the tube (London Underground) the other day (Tuesday - coming back from a work meeting), and stood at the end of the carriage. Towards the middle of the carriage was a guy, stood near the doors, wearing the most fabulous earrings - long, dangling, silver. He wasn't wearing any other kind of feminine attire, and had a good 4 or 5 days stubble. He just seemed totally oblivious to everyone around him as he listened to his ipod.

So, I figured that I would just stand and observe the people around him, their reactions to seeing him, etc.

Most people didn't even notice - it really does amaze me just how much people are enveloped within their own world and just don't pay attention to anyone else. But one or two did notice, and their reactions intrigued me.

First was a big guy, mid 30s I'd say, who looked up and did a double take - just to make sure what he saw actually registered with his brain. His resulting look wasn't too nice - he frowned, shook his head a little, and then turned away.

Result: No harm done to the guy wearing earrings

Second was a young couple. The girl nudged her boyfriend and gestered with her head towards the guy. Her boyfriend looked up, "clocked" the guy, and smirked. The girl giggled a little. She whispered something to him (obviously didn't know what), and he smirked again. Then they just carried on with their own business.

Result: No harm done to the guy wearing earrings

Third was a young female, who got up to get off the tube at the next stop. She walked right across the guy wearing earrings and didn't even notice them.

Result: Yep, you've guessed it!!!!

Fourth was a guy who got on at the next stop and stood in the same area as the guy wearing earrings. He just stared at the guy for maybe 20 - 30 seconds (quite a long time to stare when you think about it), and then just started looking around at the other people on the carriage and then just stared into space.

Result: Oh yes, same again ;)

Fifth - then, towards the other end of the carriage, I noticed a guy sat down who kept on double glancing towards the earring-wearing guy. His look wasn't too pleasant to be honest. I felt like I could read what he was thinking like a book - loads of negative, bigoted comments running through his mind. But still...

Result... No harm done to the guy wearing earrings.

Then it was time for me to get off the tube.

As I walked home, I just couldn't stop thinking about this. There must have been 40/50 people in our carriage (from the moment I got on to the moment I got off), and I checked out 4 or 5 of them. Nothing untoward happened to the guy, and he himself seemed totally oblivious to anyone else anyway - the kind of attitude which just shouted out "I just don't care what you think". This made me feel incredibily confident and equally as uncaring towards the negative thoughts that complete strangers may well have about me.

And then a thought popped into my head:

If someone feels they have the right to ridicule me for the feminine things I don (be it clothes, jewellry, nails, make-up, shoes whatever), then doesn't that mean that I have just as much right to ridicule them for their fashion sense. If I see a guy walking down the street wearing soveriegn rings across all fingers, or wearing a shell-suit (a big faux-par here in England), then should I snigger under my breath and point fingers towards him? When I see a group of lads all wearing apparel clearly influenced by their favourite pop idol, should I label them freaky sheeps who have no discernable identity of their own? Should I laugh at people who dress in alternatve fashions (emo's, goths, rockers etc)?

No I shouldn't. Because I'm better than that. I respect their right to wear whatever the hell they like. I am in no doubt that everyone has had people comment on people's fashion sense (or snigger behind their backs). Does it stop them expressing who they are? How they want to be perceived? No it doesn't. So, by the same measure, why should it stop me.

Needless to say, later the same day, I put on my longest black skirt, little top, biggest hoop earrings, my high heel boots, and walked down the street in pride. Mind you, it was two in the morning and no one was actually about!!!! lol

[Tina B.]

Jenni, very well put, I would also like to think I am better than to make fun of others because of what they choose to wear. And we do get some that could easily be snickered at, But I am not sure I am as brave as you are, going out in full dress like that, no even at 2 AM.
Tina B.

[CD Susan]

Nice post Jenni, I agree with everything you said. I would never criticise anyone else for what they choose to wear or how they look. We all have the right to express ourselves in whatever way that we choose. Self expression is what being a cd is all about.

[charlie]

I believe that one thing that will not happen is one of us here (on this CD forum) giving anyone else on earth a hard time about what they wear! It is a personal choice that harms no one. It is also what we abhor when we go out dressed and get outed by someone. In those situations, I hope that they will keep what ever prejudices they have to themselves, not make a scene, not start a fight or all the above. The guy in the earrings in this thread did not get any in your face hard time, I hope for the same anytime that I go out.

[Angie G]

Very nice thread Jenni and you right hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Ze xx]

Hi Jenni

You were on the underground. Those 4 or 5 people (or 4 or 5 other people) probably HAVE sniggered at someone who is too fat, too thin, too outdated whatever. Tbh I think that's a pretty good average of people to have actually noticed anything on the tube. :)

Take a look at my profile pic. I have to wear a nasal cannula 24 hours a day, so I am well aware of people staring, albeit for a different reason. And I'm not always met with sympathy, I have had some downright nasty comments, especially as I don't smoke.

NO ONE has the right to ridicule anybody for any reason, but there will always be the sad few who think they know better.

I hope you felt fabulous walking down the street whatever hour it was.

[DeeDeeB]

I will admit to being amused by some of the clothing others wear, but I never, ever show it. I mean, how come practically nobody's wearing bell bottoms and tie died shirts and hair and beards to their waist like many of us did back in the day? Now that was style. :D That said, we all have the right to dress however we want and deserve the right to not be ridiculed for it. In your survey of the other passengers, I wonder if their responses would have been much different if instead of dangly earrings he was in goth or dressed as his favorite rock star? Some people just don't get it. The guy who shook his head probably was saying to himself that he didn't get it, and he'd be right. Perhaps he should try to understand there's a lot going on that's different from his little world. It's a genuine positive that the offending earring wearer wasn't openly hassled in any way.

Dee :fairy1:

[KateSpade83]

Thanks for posting. I always enjoy seeing the reaction of people to other crossdressers in public.

[Lesley Ann]

I remember a time when if you wore a shirt a diffrent colour than white, you got nods and winks! I was on holiday the other week togeather with my SO we went into a pub by the River Dart (it's in South West Devon, England) and I went to the bar to order a drink, sitting at a bar stool was an old timer, I say 'old timer' but was no older than me, anyway, I have a ladies silver wallet/purse as I was paying for my drink he said "Here, that's a pretty wallet" "I know that's why I bought it" I replied in an equally loud voice, he then looked up at me "Cor,bloody hell, he's wearing earings" so I turned to him with my hands on my hips "Why is there a problem" I said, just then my SO came over to the bar and was going to say something, but I just winked at him and we went and had our drink. Goodness knows what he'd have said if I had been wearing a pair of my drop earings!

Just another day in lifes rich pattern, but it does get up my nose sometimes,
Cherrs m'dears, as they say in Devon,
Lesley Ann

[Jocelyn Renee]

This is a great post and I love your observations. One area where I differ from most is that I feel other folks have as much right to ridicule what I'm wearing as I do to wear what I please. Are folks like that narrow-minded, rude, etc? Absolutely. But, it's my choice whether or not I'm offended by their ignorance and lack of social grace. Most times when people make comments out loud you will find that others around will instantly be on your side and the person making the comments will be ostracized. I hate to admit a bit of guilty pleasure when that happens.

[Deborah_UK]

Hi

I got on the tube (London Underground) the other day (Tuesday - coming back from a work meeting), and stood at the end of the carriage. Towards the middle of the carriage was a guy, stood near the doors, wearing the most fabulous earrings - long, dangling, silver. He wasn't wearing any other kind of feminine attire, and had a good 4 or 5 days stubble. He just seemed totally oblivious to everyone around him as he listened to his ipod.



Was it Pat Cash the Australian former tennis player? I saw him on telly yesterday before the Davis Cup tie with Austria. He was wearing at least one "dangly" earring (couldn't see both ears from the way he was standing).