married CD's [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

Veronica Lacey

09-21-2008, 12:04 PM

While she has known about my "hobby" since very early in our 14+ years together she is reasonably tolerant (she would say accepting.)

Dressing while she is out and occasionally while she is sequestered in her office doing work is fine. To see me fully dressed or look at my collection of clothing is next to never. She particularly cannot stand the notion of me in garters, stockings and heels and more feminine colours but is okay if I am wearing a few things under black satin pjs.

If I stopped dressing tomorrow and withheld for life there would never be a mention again.

Being female full time seems as much as state of mind as it does having the correct physical gear. I have indeed wondered what it would be like to physically be a woman but know that it would fail miserably because I do not feel 100% woman inside. Yet female tendencies do exist within my personality and they are naturally woven into how I live and engage the world; have been since I was a kid.

I am quite happy being a genetic male dressing as a female and experiencing a more balanced emotional state between the two commonly accepted genders whether I am in jeans, t-shirt and hiking boots or satin blouse, skirt, heels and silken intimates.

It's a good life, really. :)

Jaquelyn

09-21-2008, 01:40 PM

MY wife is accepting of it. She will help with clothes and makeup purchases, sometimes will even make special trips just for Jaquelyn. However, she's not "into" having her husband dress as a woman. She sometimes finds Jaquelyn amusing, or entertaining, but, for the most part, it's not like she likes me better as a woman. In large part, this is more just her personality than the cding, i.e.: she is a bit of a tomboy, and not whole heartedly "into" a lot of girly things, like shopping and makeup. She would much rather be in the outdoors, working in her garden, or driving her Jeep. But hey, no complaints there for me, I feel lucky to be able to spend time with her, and that she enjoys those things. Actually, I have the best of the deal: we have lots of common interests, and she puts up with Jaquelyn too........Thanks honey!!!:love:

Sarah...

09-21-2008, 02:05 PM

My wife understands it, and me. She is supportive and very helpful. She tells me that she loves me whether I present as Sarah... or as 'him'. I believe this unconditionally and feel loved, adored and cherished as me whatever I'm wearing or whatever I'm doing or however feminine or masculine I'm behaving. There are occasions when she has been my "knight in shining armour".

In short, she's my other half and it's working out just fine right now.

Full time? I have no doubt whatsoever, given my strength of feeling that I could more than quite happily go the whole way. It's all I've thought of since I was 12. I'd do that in a flash but you could probably guess from the text above that it's not only me that I have to consider. My wife, I'm absolutely sure, could not really cope with me being full time in our current situation. So that's my compromise - that's my most important input, amongst many others, to reciprocate that unconditional support I get. And I don't begrudge it one little bit.

Hugs

Sarah...

Raychel

09-21-2008, 02:12 PM

My wife is overall pretty understanding, she accepts it. I am not sure that she likes it al that much, But she says that it is part of me and she will not try to change me.

She says that as long as she never sees me dressed that she will be fine. Of course I am hoping that will change someday. but for now I am just greatful for what I have.

Dawn Marie

09-21-2008, 02:20 PM

My wife is not accepting of it, thou she has known about my tendencies since before we were married. I still dress when she is not at home, but it is hard. If I had the opportunity to go full time it would in a second. Believe it or not before I met my present wife I was dressed almost 90% of the time,except for work, but I was underdressed, for almost two years. My roommate(female) was very accepting and helped me a lot. We even share each others clothes, thou my wardrobe was much bigger than hers.

sara_also

09-21-2008, 02:30 PM

for me it is a wondeful life. my wife is very accepting and is very helpful in my dressing. When we shop, she is always looking for fem clothes for me.
I do not think I would ever be full time, because I also enjoy our time together as male and female. We have been out many times as girlfriends in the city. Since we have moved to a small town we have not been out.

scherylnmke

09-21-2008, 02:38 PM

My wife loves me for me! Thinks I'm handsome as a guy and pretty as a girl! Won't call me by my fem name and doesn't get why I like pantyhose(wears them as little as she can, mostly in winter) We shop together and compliment each other alot on how we look. Has helped me with my makeup both shopping for it and applying it. All in all she is exceptional and extremely accepting!

Rachel Morley

09-21-2008, 02:41 PM

I don't know that many in my situation. I am extremely fortunate as my wife Marla actually likes me to crossdress (I kid you not). She is very accepting and very encouraging. We met on a crossdressing forum 5 years ago. She was looking to date a CDer before she met me. She says she thinks I look cute dressed and that she finds crossdressing fun. I get to dress at home and to go out in public often. Marla is also the Activities Director and the main contact for our TG group the River City Gems (http://www.rivercitygems.org/).

Your other question about living full time. We have discussed it and we think that it's not very likely while I am still working. I'm not TS and so there are too many "logistic hurdles" that we would have to get over. I'm happy to just dress whenever I feel like it in my non-work hours. However, my wife says she can totally see that it "could" happen when I retire. I think I agree with her ... maybe in 20 years time :)

occdresser

09-21-2008, 02:42 PM

I am married, my wife does not like it, she makes comments once in a while. I am happy married I would never want to be a woman fulltime, just part time is perfect for me.:)

ukxdress

09-21-2008, 02:55 PM

Wow, like so many others, my wife doesn't like my dressing in the slightest. I am surprised as to how many others are in the same situation as me. I can dress in underwear if she is around, but come bed time, she looks away, or remains downstairs as I undress. Unfortunately, she can't bear the thought of me in a dress etc !
As for full time, I don't think it's for me. I like the way I am, one foot in both camps !

Coleen.......

Natalia

09-21-2008, 02:58 PM

As soon as the kids are on the bus she asks, "So why aren't you wearing PINK?"

I work from home and most days I am fully dressed all day when the kids are at school...

Wife buys me stuff and hates the fact that my legs are better than hers...:o

As for full time, doubtful, as we have an autistic daughter who will most likely live with us for many years to come...she is quite literal and would simply not 'get it'. It would cause her great confusion and difficulty and I would never want to do that.

But otherwise I can pick and choose either genre and it's just fine.

pinkeverything

09-21-2008, 03:13 PM

She hates my hobby but turns a blind eye as long as I keep it out of her face....

How do you do that, Karen?

Candy

Ruth

09-21-2008, 03:32 PM

My wife knows and tolerates but I think she is concerned that I will one day go full time, want to live as a woman, and leave her.
I have told her, and I am quite sincere about it, that I am happy as a part time dresser, and have no ambitions to progress it in any way. I actually value my 'man' time and want to have the best of both worlds.
There is a truce at present, since she doesn't quite believe me but would like to.

Natalia

09-21-2008, 04:03 PM

My guess is she would have mentioned something:hugs:
http://i339.photobucket.com/albums/n475/NataliasPics_album/DSC_0016.jpg

fluffy_kingston

09-21-2008, 04:09 PM

I am very lucky. My wife enjoys it as much as I do.

gennee

09-21-2008, 04:17 PM

My wife accepts it as part of me. I don't think she's that thrilled about it but she will buy some articles for me on occasion. We have been happily married for 28 years.

Gennee

:)

Carroll

09-21-2008, 04:37 PM

well, look over to your left<-<-<- See that nice couple? Well one is me and one is my wife. She enjoys it when I dress

gerry

09-21-2008, 04:58 PM

My spouse, doesn't promote it, but does support it, as she knows it is part of me. She itsn't big on my wanting to be too female in the area where we live, but I have to admit, I dress much more female than male, even so.

When we are say, 30 or more miles from home, I'm dress enfemme so as I pass as another woman. When we are on vacation, I am enfemme 100% of the time. We will go shopping together, she likes when I pick out items for her, and we both go into the dressing room to try things on.

I guess it would bother her, but it is my desire to live as a woman full time. I look forward to the day when, we turn the corner on her acceptance and this happens. It can't be soon enough for me. :daydreaming:

RikkiOfLA

09-21-2008, 05:10 PM

My wife loves it. A couple of months before our wedding, she saw me dressed male for the first time, saw how unhappy and uncomfortable I was, and asked me never to dress male again. I was happy to comply. :D

Rikki

Toni_Lynn

09-21-2008, 05:16 PM

My wife loves it and embraces it as an integral part of the man she loves. I think it is because I love her so very much, and, as I have stated elsewhere, vowed never place the girl within above her. She also know that just because I have lace on my undies, I will defend her life with my life.

That said, she encourages me in ways that I never dreamed possible. Before we went away on holiday a few weeks back, she went with me to buy some new clothes, all in the women's department, to wear as stuff that would pass a guy's stuff. On the trip back we had 4 hours in San Francisco, and stopped at the mall at San Bruno. At the Target there she say panties 5 for $15, and was like a kid in a candy store picking out 5 pair for me.

Yes, there is also the 'fun' aspect of it all (read sexually gratifying), and for that gift of being able to give pleasure to each other, we are grateful for the many romantic moments, of which I as a gentleman (and a lady) shall say no more.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

Vicki65

09-21-2008, 05:29 PM

I'm fairly new to being open with my wife about it, and she accepts it as part of me. I still have 'self loathing' moments, but my wife doesn't!

She says she's fine with it, though isn't ready to see me dressed as yet, so we keep these two girls apart for now.

Thats fine by me because to be honest, being heavily built, heavily muscled, and usually with oil under fingernails, I make a pretty unconvincing girl!:D

KellyCD

09-21-2008, 05:35 PM

My wife used to accept and even support it.

She used to comment on how I "don't look half bad as a girl". Or something I would wear was "cute".

That has all changed now ever since I found out she was cheating on me.

Now she hates it. Her 180 attitude had caused me to stop for dressing for awhile, and now I don't do it around her. But I still get the nasty comments.

She even told me the other day that she's not atracted to me at all, calling me "ugly" and saying things like "what girl in her right mind would want to have sex with a guy that dresses like a girl?!?"

:sad: Good times indeed.

Living full time? Yes I've been thinking about it more so now. After the divorce(I know it's coming).

Vicki65

09-21-2008, 05:41 PM

Whoa my friend!

She cheated on you? She calls you ugly? She's obviously not accepting of who you are (the comments about sex)

To be honest, I'd be sending her off to work in the morning, changing the locks, and leaving her stuff bagged up on the driveway.

Tell her you want some respect, or she's out.

Marjory

09-21-2008, 06:00 PM

I won't tell my wife because every-time she sees one on TV she comments "that's disgusting" or he's weird. What I don't understand id her daughter is gay and that's perfectly OK???

Marjory

Jaydee

09-21-2008, 06:27 PM

I live in a nether world. I have not yet come out fully to my wife. We have talked about my having gender issues. She knows that I wear panties 24/7, and that I like to wear pantyhose and and bras. She is uncomfortable with the later so I only do it when she is not around, but they wind up in the laundry hamper and mysteriously back in my dresser drawer, without comment. I would describe her feelings as tolerance as long as I kep it out of her face.

I have no desire to be full time, although I would hope that I could come out fully and that she would accept my dressing in front of her more often. Until then I have a good life and am happy with where I am.

Jaydee

Jilmac

09-21-2008, 06:35 PM

Chloe, I was married twice and both wives knew about my dressing before they married me butboth were also very non supportive. Wife number one was disgusted by it, and referred to it as "my problem". Wife number two was convinced it would turn me gay. Consequentally, I hid it from both wives. Wife #2 passed away last year and now I can dress openly. My new SO knows and is supportive. She also joined this forum to learn more about me and to help her understand my desire to crossdress.

SusanMarie

09-21-2008, 06:43 PM

My SO accepts, supports and participates. We are gurlfriends. :hugs:

Full time??? Don't know myself well enough to make that call.

LindaMarie

09-21-2008, 06:56 PM

My wife thinks my crossdressing is "creepy" and wishes it would just go away. Over the years we've tried to come to some compromises about this, but I always feel like I'm the one who's compromising. I'm sure she feels like she's the one who's always giving in.

I know it's difficult for her, but after really reining in my desires for a long time in hopes that she'll see I'm trying to meet her more than halfway, I'm getting tired of her non-accepting attitude. I look out for her and take care of her in so many ways and I'm just not feeling like what I want is important to her.

I'm not at all interested in being full time. I enjoy my guy side and wish I had more time to enjoy my feminine side, too.

Dragster

09-21-2008, 07:02 PM

I first told my wife 20 years ago, and because she "didn't want to know", I went back in the closet. I joined this forum over 3 years ago (after I'd retired), and resolved to try and get her to at least recognise that it's an integral part of me that needs expression from time to time, and bought "My Husband Betty" to help promote a discussion. She still says she thinks CDing is "disgusting", but I think she's afraid of letting the genie out of the bottle in case she starts something that she will lose control of. If she won't talk about it, then she can forget all about it, and then it's not there, like an ostrich!

Full time is not for me, I enjoy the blokey side of my life too much. Even if my wife was "on-side", I'd only want to dress fully a few times a month. I might also put a skirt and top on for an evening at home if I knew we had the evening to ourselves though.

I've gone out a few times wearing "the works" under my jeans and shirt (corset, bra, suspenders, stockings, slip/cami), but only when my wife was away. I could underdress 100% if she'd accept it, but maybe I would lose that special, exciting feeling when I did, and I wouldn't want that.

Tony

RylieCD

09-21-2008, 07:35 PM

My wife found out after we were married a few months. She doesnt like the idea that her husband want to wear what she wears. buut she understand that it is part of who I am so as long as she doesnt see rylie she can tolerate it. She has also found this site and has tried to understand the CD/TG life as much as possible, I couldnt have asked for anything more :love:

Angie G

09-21-2008, 07:36 PM

Chloe my wife knows And is OK with it. We have been shopping for both her and Angie. She as even picked things up for me like shoes and hose. :hugs:
Angie

epsxyblkm

09-21-2008, 08:04 PM

Mine has only seen me dressed once. She knows all about it, but has nothing to say about it at all. Makes it odd when we do the bank statement.

Kelly Greene

09-21-2008, 08:15 PM

I told my wife while we were dateing ( i think it was on the first date )
She accepts that i have a need to crossdress and that i am working out all the issues the best way I can but does not like the idea that I may at some time decide to go fill time or the idea that I may at some time decide to change my body. If all i ever do dress up in Heels, Dress, Wig, Forms, and Makeup my wife can support my crossdressing. But If I Ever Discover that I need to go further My wifes own words are " I dont know if I can go along with that I did not marry a woman".

Those words scare me.

Susan.

09-21-2008, 08:32 PM

My wife is getting more and more tolerant. But it has been a slow process as she has known for 30 years. I usually don't dress in front of her except some undressing. But I almost always wear fem clothes to bed. She hardly ever buys anything for me but I make up for it. :D

Chloe84

09-21-2008, 08:38 PM

Wow, thank you all so so much for your contributions to my growing knowledge of the worlds acceptance of CD'ing. I'm sorry for those of you who's wives do not accept and and envious of those who have the wives that do accept it and embrace it. thank you all again for sharing your stories for me. it really does mean alot that you all are so willing to open up. :D

PamelaTX

09-21-2008, 08:39 PM

My wife is tolerant, but not embracing the idea. But this is a new thing for both of us, so we'll see if things change as time goes on.

DAVIDA

09-21-2008, 08:41 PM

Even though I have been a cross dresser all my life, It was Jean who helped me realize that there is nothing wrong with me and that this is why I am who I am. She knew from the day I asked her to marry me. That was 18 years ago.
And I would go full time in a minute if possible.

Samantha43

09-21-2008, 08:50 PM

My wonderful wife of 20 years knows and is supportive. She knew long before we got married.

As far as going full time? Not for me. I like being a man too much.

Jocelyn Renee

09-21-2008, 08:53 PM

My wife found out 7 years into our marriage and for the past 10 years has been a supportive participant. We go out shopping together, clubbing, eating out, etc. and generally have a great time. Still, I don't know that I would say she "likes" it. She loves me and understands it is an integral part of me and I really couldn't ask for her to be any more supportive. However, if my femme side disappeared tomorrow I don't know she that she would miss it.

As for living full-time, my wife is convinced I will drift that way once our children have grown. I do contemplate it from time to time, but there are way too many aspects of my male personality that I absolutely love for me to entertain the idea of full-time seriously.

Melanie R

09-21-2008, 09:09 PM

My wife has accepted and supported my dressing for 28 years. She is able to see beyond the clothing I am wearing. As for as she is concerned I am still her husband whether I am dressed in a dress or a man's suit. We have traveled the world over as two women enjoying life. Many think we are sisters and we love to play that role. Sometimes if they figure out that I am a crossdresser we just educate about what it means to be "gender gifted". Now that I am retired I live 60% of my time as Melanie but still devote around 40% of my time for my wife to have her "man". I do have the best of both worlds and would not give up one for the other.

Ana5551

09-21-2008, 09:10 PM

My wife is a supporting SO most of the time. She doesn't want to see me dressed up because she says I look like my mother, but she has helped me become better in many ways and while not being fully accepting, she loves and supports me. I have fantasized about being a woman full time, but there are so many things I enjoy about manhood that I would not want to give up. Including my wife.

Rogina B

09-21-2008, 09:24 PM

I Have A Very Attractive Venezuelan Wife With That Venezuelan Sexiness I Became Attracted To. She Does Not Enjoy Giving Anything Up To Rogina And Is Quite Jealous At Times.and, At Other Times We Shop For Clothes Together And Values My Opinion On Some Aspects Of Femininity.one Thing That Bothers Her Most When I Go Out Is That She Feels Rogina Enjoys Attention And Being A **** And That Is A Hard Reputation To Live Down!:)

JenniferR771

09-21-2008, 09:32 PM

My wife had difficulty with my cding since she found out about 10 years ago. However she said today, "If you are going to run around the house in drag--be sure to get cleaned up and scrub your face before i get home from church."

Missy

09-21-2008, 09:57 PM

yes she knows about my crossdressing she has known before we got marreid 7 years ago i just dress in wemans cloths and underwear and i have breast forms but do not wear them all the time

jackie03

09-21-2008, 10:05 PM

my wife hates it, we have been married 30 odd yrs she has known all that time, every 5 yrs i get caught, she is still with me and i love her,i only dress when she is away

goofus

09-21-2008, 11:11 PM

Gee, spousal opinion sure does run the gamut!

darla_g

09-21-2008, 11:35 PM

i have reached a comfort level with my dressing. I really like the opportunity to get really dressed up on occasion yet i still like being a guy and doing guy things a lot. I've reached a nice balance after really working this out with my wife.

I have kids so i don't get to pursue this if they are around (my choice) and it is rare if ever that the two of us have the time and privacy for me to dress around her.

In the past she has ranged from supportive and helpful and an active participant to purely just acknowledging that i still do it.

suchacutie

09-21-2008, 11:44 PM

Without my wife Tina never would have existed. She and I discovered her about 3 years ago, and my wife has been my mentor and confidant the entire time. How far has the journey taken us? I had to laugh when I noticed that the 1 gallon ziplock back that holds Tina's cosmetics didn't exist three years ago. A 1 gallon bag full of cosmetics. Blew my mind! And who bought the very first cosmetic...there we were visiting Atlanta very early in Tina's "life"...she had just gotten Tina a skirt and thigh highs and shoes...and as we stood in a drug store (in drab) she turns to me and hands me mascara, eyeliner, etc...and says in a loud voice..."a present...Tina will need these now". :) One incident of many...life is terrific!

tina

cdsteph

09-21-2008, 11:56 PM

Kelly, sorry to hear that...
My wife on a rare occasion, when mad at the world, or me, will make some nasty comment, but the other 99% of the time is quite supportive, often suggesting that I go change.
I suppose that if we ever do break up, I'd have to deal with her telling everyone out of spite, but I doubt we'll ever fall apart.
Yesterday she ordered new breast forms from Truekare in time for halloween!
I sometimes get the feeling that instead of having a barbie to dress up, she has me.

As to full time ... I'd like to go enfemme for a week sometime, but I enjoy both aspects of myself. I can't ever see that happening.

DawnRodgers

09-22-2008, 01:16 AM

My wife has known for years - like 25 or so. Has never accepted it though and, I believe, still hopes it will go away. She knows and has seen me dressed fully. KNows I took outfits when I used to travel. My guess is she will never accept it.
Dawn

Alexandria9919

09-22-2008, 06:39 AM

My wife accepts it. She knows I am a lot more sexual when I am dressed and she dont mind that all:). But I dont think she really likes it and she would never let me go out dressed like that. Though I have to admit I dont blame her I am one ugly woman:eek:. But hey she knows it is a part of me and lets me do it. though right now her daughter and grandson is living with us and I cant dress alot like I used to. But hey its all good. I held in the clloset for many years whats a little while longer

Farrah

09-22-2008, 07:40 AM

My wife doesn't have a clue that I dress. When I shave my mustache, I just tell her I messed it up again, or I'm trying a new look.

Lawren

09-22-2008, 07:48 AM

I think we all fantasize about being totally a woman at some point but after years of thought on the subject, I'm convinced that there is no advantage to it. Being female has at least as many disadvantages as being male. Neither gender is perfect and I believe that everyone, at some point in their lives, wishes they were of the other gender.

As for my wife's opinion of my CDing, she has no problem with it except a few minor restrictions all of which are beyond my own boundaries anyway. In her own words, "There are a lot of worse things that a man can do".

TGMarla

09-22-2008, 07:51 AM

My wife knows I dress, but does not actively support it, or even acknowledge it. Out of sight and out of mind. She has not divorced me over it, and our relationship at present is as good or better than it's ever been. It's too bad that she couldn't be a bit more accepting, though.

melissapghcd

09-22-2008, 08:47 AM

I don't have any intention of going full time and would be quite content to dress around the house, preferably with the wife's support. That seems unlikely to happen though.

We've been married 15 years and she always seemed very open minded and fairly sexually liberated in that she'd try new things, seemed open to them etc. I guess I really thought that eventually, when I could bring myself to tell her, that she'd actually be okay with it. Wrong.

Just the other night we were messing around with a pair of panties in foreplay and I casually mentioned about trying them on. The reaction I got was startling. She stopped, her eyes popped open wide and she said "No!" so vehemently that the intensity of it almost frightened me. There was no question that this was something she wanted nothing to do with and that was just a pair of panties, not dressing fully!

I dunno, I've long suspected that she may have known. Either from finding one of my stashes over the years seeing her stuff moved or whatever. Can't say why exactly but I've had that feeling. I always thought that if I could finally get it out in the open it'd be okay. After the other night that doesn't look likely. I'm actually still really disturbed by how strong her reaction was. :sad:

If I'm right and she does actually know or suspect, she apparently doesn't want to know anything about it. It certainly wasn't an issue for discussion. I'm still not sure what to do long term. I guess just go back deeper into the closet and suck it up. Our marriage is very good otherwise and we've been through an awful lot. As much as I'd love this to be out and the open and wish she shared an interest, she doesn't and I don't want to jeopardize anything by making an issue of it.

Sorry for the long reply. It's just been fresh on my mind and I've been giving it a lot of thought.

Patricia1

09-22-2008, 01:01 PM

I'd love to tell my wife about the other me but I just can't work up the courage. I guess I'm afraid of a negative reaction and the possible dire consequences, at least as imagined by me. I love me as a woman and know that I have to keep dressing. Some day I'll get caught & just 'fess up and face the music. Until then I'll just go my merry way.

As for living full time as a woman, I imagine that I would be very happy to do so & have fantasized about being accepted in my feminine guise. I'd love to have breasts, soft skin, curves, etc. Reality can be a big letdown, no?

KandisTX

09-22-2008, 02:14 PM

Mine supports and accepts Kandis as a part of the whole being. She has known about her since 3 days after we met some 13 years ago, and we've been married for almost 7 years.

Kandis:love::rose2:

Roberta Llyan

09-22-2008, 02:27 PM

Mine supports and accepts Kandis as a part of the whole being. She has known about her since 3 days after we met some 13 years ago, and we've been married for almost 7 years.

Kandis:love::rose2:

I've said this before but will repeat it, you are most fortunate Kandis. Count your many blessings. I'm happy for you.

Hugs

Rachel_CDS

09-22-2008, 02:52 PM

My wife has known since before we were married (over 18 years now) & is very accepting of it. Sometimes she asks me why I haven't bothered getting dressed.
She doesn't actually help me with my choice of clothing or makeup, but will comment when something like a skirt doesn't match the top & tells me to go & change it for something which goes better!
Occassionally she suggests that we go girly shopping, but I have to be dressed in drab!
She loves it when I wear silk nighties with sheer holdups in bed & will sometimes complain when I have chosen to wear a plain nightdress because I couldn't be bothered dressing up!
Even with all this acceptance, she does not want me to leave the house dressed or even to visit a crossdressers group (even in drab). She says that she is concerned for my safety & also that I might get some ideas about going full-time or even getting SRS (is that the right acronym?). I am happy to accept this, but it would be nice to go out dressed sometime.
I don't think that I really would want to go full time, but I do think about it sometimes. I enjoy the guy things too much & it really is easier to be a man - Stuff like crawling out of bed in the morning, throwing on any clothes lying around without having to worry about of your makeup or if you are presentable. I guess I am too lazy to be a full time woman!

Amanda_in_MA

09-22-2008, 06:36 PM

I am quite happy to say that my wife enjoys my crossdressing. She does limit me to the house but other than that she is 100% supportive.

When I first came out to her I was mostly only underdressing. She purchased my first set of forms and is now teaching me makeup.

Vivian Best

09-22-2008, 06:54 PM

My wife has known for about ten years and so far as she is concerned it could just go away. She doesn't like it and at times she cries when I dressed. She has threatened to leave me on several occasions but hasn't and probably won't. The best way I can describe her attitude toward it "minimal toleration".

As far as living full time, I'm just not sure but I would sure like to try it for a while. However, I know it will never happen.

Katie Ellen

09-22-2008, 07:14 PM

I made it a point to tell my wife before we got married. She's my second. My first never knew, and I don't think she would have liked it at all.

My current wife not only accepts, but encourages me. She often says that when I retire (3 years) I'll be able to dress all the time. I don't know if that will ever happen, but I think I'd like to try for a few days to see how it feels. I never get to go more than 6-8 hours now (not counting sleep time) and have never been out.

Full time? If extended time goes great, maybe I'd explore longer times. I think I'd really like it though.

carend_99

09-22-2008, 07:36 PM

I would say my wife is pretty ambivalent to it. She tolerates it, but that's about it. And no, I definitely wouldn't want to be full time, love being a guy with other women.

Donnadcd

09-22-2008, 07:54 PM

I'm not sure if she has any idea that I like to dress. I kinda hope that I've given her enough subtle clues. Just the same, I don't think she'd want any part of it.

For me, I'd transition the very first chance I'd get - but somehow I let life get in the way.

I'm trying to be a little more careless in keeping it under wraps, so it'll come out that way. Then - if necessary - take the lumps that come with it. At least it'll be out in the open.

KellyCD

09-22-2008, 08:21 PM

[SIZE=2]bought "My Husband Betty" to help promote a discussion. She still says she thinks CDing is "disgusting",

Same here. My wife told me(right after she called me ugly) "the more I learn about it, the more disgusting it is".

joanne anderson

09-22-2008, 08:53 PM

Hi there.
Yes, my wife has know for four months about my dressing She took the news very well, I think I was the one who was emotionaly upset at the news. I suppose having a wife who is a councillor probably made it easier for her to accept.
I dress mostly when she is at work but we have an arrangement were I may on certain days, stay dressed till she arrives home and we spend time together having a meal and chatting about what we've both been up to that day.
When we go out to the malls,( me in my male personna ) we spend time looking at female clothing and we decide what would look good on Joanne.
One of her main stipulations, is, that Joanne does not dominate our marraige, that she see's more of the man she married than my other self. I have no trouble with that rule and understand the risk of this happening.
As for going full time dressed, the risk of being found out by neighbours or friends has made me limit the time spent as Joanne.
I have just recently made my outing to a transgender meeting but could never pass a female out in public, so that too is why I wont be going full time en femme.

Love Joanne

Maria2222

09-22-2008, 08:59 PM

My wife tolerates it and I'm happy for that. I pretty much have my own room for my things. I never dress in front of her, but do dress while she is home some times.
I like to many guy things, including my wife, to ever consider going full time.

Anastacia_Sandria

09-22-2008, 09:08 PM

My wife took a little bit of time to get used to it (this is just one of those things neither of us thought would come up), but now that she's had some time and we've discussed it, she's okay with it. She still has some reservations, but that's understandable. I'm lucky in that I have an absolutely amazing and understanding spouse :D .

Tip or Ozma

09-22-2008, 09:08 PM

My cross-dressing has become a part of our ever evolving relationship. It has opened up new avenues of communication, togetherness and self-expression. We remain true companions and respect each other's feelings in regard cross-dressing. I am free to dress at home, we shop together and we often incorporate it into our intimate life. It is helping us work through some of the natural changes in our relationship wrought by menopause It has also become a source of eBay income as we sell stockings, nighties and other girlie things collected while antiquing.

As far a full time, there are too many positive reasons for not doing that. It is not something that I need to do.

2b.Lauren

09-22-2008, 09:22 PM

I would say to let her know would be very difficult. I wish it would be easier and that I could take the risk to talk to her about this. I know my fear is no unreasonable. I know it is just. So I choose to keep it to myself. I am not sure of where I stand on the issue of fulltime. I guess right now it is nice to just be me again. To dress as often and as much as I can. To gradually take more risk but to enjoy all the chances I have.

Cherishing the moments
2bLauren

Sherry-Stephanie

09-22-2008, 10:29 PM

I came to my wife last March (can't say I came out because I hadn't started at that point). She kind of freaked at the first thought and I really can't blame her, it's not what most would say a normal "hey hon, you know what I'd like to do"? request....

At first she was slow to warm to the idea probably for a variety of reasons but as time has progressed she seems more comfortable and also seems to be enjoying it more and more...or at least getting more and more into it...

However, we've had some other issues that just developed yesterday that is putting eveything on the back burner at this moment until we see what's going to happen...

I forgot to add the fact that no have no desire to go 24/7 as a female...I'm not at odds with my male side...enjoy that portion of being male. Might like to be able to do a 50-50 maybe but don't ever see or have a desire to go total female.

Michelle_NY

09-23-2008, 02:48 PM

Mine hates it hon, and never ever wants to see me dressed.Oh well!!!!

DeSkirt

09-23-2008, 03:09 PM

I told my first wife about my cross dressing desires before we were married. I also told my current wife about my cross dressing before we were married. My first wife put up with it for a while. My current wife started out accepting it. She bought me some cloths and helped me dress while we were dating. She told me she was fine with it and that's that. After a friend of hers heard a rumer about me she totally changed her attitude. I talked to her about how she would feel if someone she knew found out before we were married and she said it was none of their business and she was OK with it. She now says she is sorry but she changed her mind. Sometimes I feel that I was told whatever I needed to hear just to get married.

I know that people change their minds sometimes and I know that we don't always know how we are going to feel or act when things actually happen but I am dissapointed anyway.

I am happy just dressing occasionally. I would like to know how it feels to be able to pass, buy not full time.

sfwarbonnet

10-03-2008, 02:25 PM

I know that people change their minds sometimes and I know that we don't always know how we are going to feel or act when things actually happen but I am dissapointed anyway.

I hope my wife changes her mind. Now she is opposed to my dressing with her in public, But I’ll keep pushing her limits. She got me most of my femme clothes, and tolerates underdressing which I “sold” as a medical accommodation (it is). The farther I go, the farther I want to go. Eventually I hope to be able to go out with her as a woman, and use ladies rest- and dressing rooms with her. Now, I need an excuse to go “all the way”

trisha59

10-03-2008, 02:44 PM

My wife knows about me. I told her Just incase I would of gotten caught. Makes it easier than trying to come up with some kind of story. CD is still something I do for me by my self.

Tina B.

10-03-2008, 07:10 PM

My wife has known for over thirty years, The day I told her she took me shopping, and bought me two complete outfits, we have been best girlfriends ever since. I get gifts at birthdays and Christmas for both genders, we shop together for the both of us, share jewelry with each other and I dress wen ever I want. But as for full time, no thanks, I am a husband, father, and grandfather, none of which do I chose to give up.
Tina B.

Tasha McIntyre

10-03-2008, 07:17 PM

My wife and I have had a few discussions about it, at my request, to find out where she is on the matter. Without being ecstatic about the whole deal, she is understanding and accepting.....without being totally supportive - a bet each way if you like.

She understands that I can't and won't stop, but doesn't really understand why I crossdress (neither do I really).

She is fine with me dressing at home with her around, but finds it very difficult to be close or intimate when I wearing a dress. She never mentions anything about my fashion choices and her only restrictions are that I don't embarrass her by alerting the neighbours. There is no way at the minute that she would entertain the idea of going shopping together.

I can't whinge too much about it - more support or participation would be wonderful, but on the other hand it would really suck if Tash got total rejection.

Juanita O

10-03-2008, 07:23 PM

Hi all

My wife doesn't like and said like my father said,real men don't dress like women. It also disgusts her partly because of her stanch Mormon religious beliefs.

Joan Merrie

10-03-2008, 07:48 PM

My honey-do, accepts me fully. I told her about me on our 1st date. 6months later we were married. On our honey moon she gave me a white lace nighty. Now 19 years 4months later, we are working on going all the way. She even helped me find a hormone Dr., it's been 4 months and I'm now size 34c. As far as bedroom fun she says we can have girl fun.:hugs:

Sophia de la luz

10-03-2008, 08:15 PM

My wife is accepting. I think she has concerns about where it will end, but she is generally aware that I am making room for a part of me, and it's a part she has enjoyed getting to know.
As for going full time, I'm sure I will sometime try that out. I like masculine energy, but this experience of allowing feminine energy is exciting and new. Right now I'm exploring clothing that is not agressively female so I can bridge the gap. I asked for my birthday and Christmas to receive only women's clothes. One step at a time.
As for sex change surgery etc., not for me. I could see getting a boob job some day, but having a phallus is a lot of fun.

Sophia

Alice B

10-03-2008, 08:19 PM

My wife accepts it but is not overly thrilled about it. She participates only in giving me extra jewlery and letting me pick from any clothing she is getting rid of. She does allow me to dress when she is home, but that is a new concession. She is getting better and better about it, but I doubt the day will come that we can go out together.

Joni T

10-03-2008, 08:41 PM

We have been married 22 years and she is accepting of it. She used to really like it when I would dress and share "Joni" with her in the early years. Joni would cook dinner and we'd sit around and have some wine, watch a little TV (no pun intended) and have girl talk. THEN, Joni discovered going out on her own. Ever since that discovery my wife has still been accepting of it but not enthusiastic about it. She lets me know often that she is hurt because I have taken Joni away from her and don't share her any more. The fact of the matter is that I don't enjoy JUST sitting around the house dressed any more. I mean come on......................if you spent 2-2 1/2 hours getting ready, would you want to just sit around? I asked her the same question and she said she would. Well, that was a l-o-n-g time ago and she hasn't as of yet. So yes, she's accepting and ok with it, but reservedly at best. We still have some issues with it (my ears are both double-pierced and that doesn't set well with her), I'd like to shave my pits but that's not ok with her, she gets upset when I make cleavage and wear a low-cut, revealing blouse, absolutely hates it if I wear a short skirt, and a few others. The list could go on and on and on but I think you get the picture. She says, "after all, I married a MAN!!".
How far would I go if my wife wasn't in the picture? I'm not really sure. I would love to grow my hair long and grow real breasts but there's still too much family here in the immediate area and I 've have too many questions to answer to, not to mention the work place. That would be a very bad idea. They'd just never understand, or try to. I'd probably go as far as I possibly could without having the SRS. Too costly and there's too much of Jon left in Joni.
That's about it for this visit.
Take care, Mes Amies. Je t'amour avec tous mon coeur.
Luv Ya
Joni

Tina B.

10-03-2008, 08:51 PM

Up date on what I said earlier, wife came home this evening and found me dressed in a cute skirt and top, walked in and kissed me hello, and said good you are dressed just right for the movie I brought home! Turned out she had rented "Sex in the City", so yeah I guess she really is OK with it all!
Tina B.

_Cecilie_

10-03-2008, 08:52 PM

My wife (for 1 week) accepts it as a part of me and tries to work with it. I'm happy where we are, but look forward to working on it in the future. Hopefully it will grow better in time and with some understanding and discussion.

Carla

10-03-2008, 09:12 PM

Almost 100 posts covering the entire gamut from "wife hates it to loves it". I guess the message is....."it depends" on your REAL relationship. She loves you unconditionally or not. BUT, it is a two-way street, meaning it cannot be all about you. So what if she is not fullt accepting? Maybe she is only at best tolerent! Do you dump her? Think before you answer. Her inner feelings count as much as yours. IMHO, one should either temper their "urges" according to what the relationship can absorb, or end the relationship. Hard core? Maybe. But to ALWAYS expect that the other partner needs to be totally accepting is selfish and naieve (sp?).

Probably more than you were looking for.

I am "lucky" and perhaps it is easy for me to make such "wise" remarks because my wife is fully accepting and supportive. I am all male all week and mostly feminine all weekend. We are deeply in love and committed to each other still. IF....she were not fully accepting, then I personally would have a choice to make. Selfishly end it and move on to satisfy my "need" or desire. Or find a mutually agreeable level of what the relationship can endure. The later is probably harder.....but IMHO, the answer,

Inachis

10-04-2008, 05:41 AM

My wife and I have been married for seven years now, and we have been together for nine years. She outed me when I thought she was going to be home much later. She has always seemed understanding on the issue, but we had never talked about it much, until the desires evolved. This all culminated in a discussion while on extascy. It was then that I told my deepest and darkest inner secrets. I told her how much apart of me it was. She has always told me that its okay, perfectly natural, and there is nothing wrong with it.

Since that night we have had several more discussions about it. To give an actual picture of what she thinks I will quote her. " I really don't care either way. YOU are the man I married, and I love you. It doesn't bother me that you do it, but it does bother me that you have issues about it. I don't want you to do it while at work. It does nothing for me sexually, and quite frankly you do not make a very good girl. If you want to do it full time, that's fine I'll help you in any way, but I would also look for a new father for our kids, because they need a daddy. If I wanted to raise them with two females I would be a lesbian."

She has gone shopping with me before, and we had a wonderful time. We have tried sex while dressed and it does nothing for her. I have told her that I do not think I want to do it full time, because, I like to do it as fun. So in a nutshell she generally supports the idea, but does not want it to get in the way of our lives together.

p.s. I have been clean, and sober for six years now. In

shani

10-04-2008, 05:58 AM

cloe my wife is cool about some things but terrified about me wanting to be full time. wish i could. but from little seeds grow oak trees. hope that is not to deep or corny, emotions are ment to be messy, but if u work them out forfilly. ps: great photo. one day we might post one

shani

10-04-2008, 05:59 AM

sorry shocking speller ans typer, i ment forfilling

shani

10-04-2008, 06:02 AM

i hear you girlfreind

Laura_Stephens

10-04-2008, 08:53 AM

Electra

10-05-2008, 03:54 AM

My wife doesn't know that I crossdress and I don't know what her reaction would be if she found out. I have only tried her skirts or dresses when she has been out or away, without make-up or wig which I don't have anyway. For my full make-overs I have been to professional crossdressing services when I have been travelling alone on business.

Melora

10-05-2008, 05:26 AM

My wife Knows and has the feelings of "You do what you will hun, Just be faithfull..). She really does not like it, But she accepts me out of love.. IF I pressured her, then she would maybe partake, but not too enthusiastically at least At first at, unless it makes Her world better.. Like Sex for example.. She may go for it. But I am not in a hurry to push it right now.. She knows and STILL accepts me. She has even hinted at giving me a few makeup lessons, due to the fact that she has said that I kinda look like a young teen "girl", trying to learn makeup.. Hehe.. Actually she has not seen most of my best photos..
Anyways.. My 2 cents..

Lana_CD

10-05-2008, 07:13 AM

My wife has known for over 15 yrs now. She hates it with a pasion, wishing it would go away. While I do dress at will or wear lingerie under male clothes, including breast forms, she just tolerates it but it comes up occasionally as to how much she hates it. She is forever pytting me down and saying I am weird.

Brenda's Friend

10-05-2008, 08:19 AM

Early on we had the big discussion - twice. Yes, she knows, but as far as she is concerned it has ended. The physical dressing did end for many years, but I could never stop thinking about it.

Then internet came along, I was (am) obsessed with going to crossdressing sites. Over the years I would try on her clothes (too small for me), but never go all the way. Last year, I started to dress all the way, but I did it with my clothes, and my makeup. She does not know that I am dressing again, and if she found out, she would be rather put out.

BF

debbeelee1

10-05-2008, 08:28 AM

My SO is totally for my CD'ing and understands and supports me! My only problem is she wants to buy me too much femme items, I kid you not! We do have a blast with it and I have to plans to do this full time, I'm just a guy in a dress!

cdgirl

10-05-2008, 10:00 AM

Hey all, So i have a question for all of the CD's MTF on this site about being married. In general, what is your wifes opinion on the whole topic, do they find it disgusting?kinky? or anything else. And on another note, would any of you ever want to be a full time female? thanks all. this stuff is so new to me, and alot is very confusing, lots of mixed emotions, lol. Hi I'm Roberta, Married for 25 yrs this month .My wife knew before we were married,she tried to deal with it but really disapproves.I tried several times to purge doesn't work. I wish I could please her.I love her,But I love to dress up too. What should I do.

Mitch23

10-05-2008, 11:09 AM

my wife has known about mitch for about 18 months although i think she suspected well before that. She is unenthusiastic and does not want me to dress around her, store my clothes at home or take the risk of being 'discovered' by friends, family and neighbours. She recognises that it is something that is part of me and prefers that i do it out of her sight. When I go out (which is on average twice a week), she is sometimes ok and sometimes hostile. there are no easy answers - i wish there were ...

mitch

Harley

10-05-2008, 11:14 AM

She likes me dressed because it relaxes me. Many times she will ask me to dress so I can relax. Even this morning she is pushing it with our son at work, but I want to ride the Harley. I am a better person dressed as most of us are. Her opinion: It's only cloths.

TerriM

10-05-2008, 11:19 AM

I told my wife after 10yrs of marriage. We are married 37yrs. She wants no part of my femme side. We very seldom talk about it. I hang some of my clothes in our common closet. I get out about 1x a month if lucky. Between work and family events it is hard. For the last 9yrs I have been going to Provincetown during the Fantasia fair for 3-4 nites. She hates me going away. I love my wife very much. I think if I had told her before we married, we wouldn't have gotten married. But at that time I didnt know how strong this part of me was. I often think if I had told her before that my children and my beautiful grandkids wouldnt be around. That would have been a terrible thing.

Jonianne

10-05-2008, 11:55 AM

I told my wife long before we were married and she is accepting and supportive. She took me on my first outing in 2000 and last spring when we went to Niagra Falls she suggested I go out dressed with her for a day and take one leg of out train trip dressed. We had a great time!

Now she also, in the past, has said she wishes this was not part of me and there are times when she lets me know she needs her space from it and I respect that. She also needs to know that I am always still her man and that I am willing to compromise with her, as she is with me.

A month ago, as many of you know, my wife had an aneurysm which led to a massive stroke. She has been recovering for the past month and has made wonderful progress. She has regained most of her memory and we have a wonderful mental and emotional connection while she is recovering. Crossdressing has been at the bottom of my priority list recently, as you can imigine, and I had no intentions of even mentioning it. But the other day she turned to me and said she was so thankful I had been by her side during all this and she wanted to get something special for me. She then asked me what size I am now? Her memory still comes and goes and I not sure what she is asking and say "What size of what, Angel?" and she said "What size jumper do you wear now?" My wife is so wonderful, so how could I not possibly be willing to compromise with her?

calida-jasmine

10-05-2008, 12:44 PM

My wife knew before we married and seemed supportive at the time.

Later on it became much less so, last discussion didn't going well at all.

She did make some comments when we moved to our current house that gives me some hope she may be more comfortable with it. She pointed out the church we're likely to go to has support groups and is very supportive of LGBT issues and has some local support groups meet out of it.

Not sure if I'd go full time.

sfwarbonnet

10-05-2008, 01:40 PM

Hey all, I have a question for all of the CD's MTF on this site about being married. In general, what is your wife’s opinion on the whole topic, do they find it disgusting? kinky? or anything else. And on another note, would any of you ever want to be a full time female? Thanks all. This stuff is so new to me, and a lot is very confusing, lots of mixed emotions, lol.

Interesting thread. Also interesting to discover that I am not the only one who’s wife tolerates my wearing women’s clothes, but wished I didn’t and would draw the line at going out with me and both of us using the ladies restroom when I’m impersonating a female. She would also balk if I suggested wearing a bra, wig, earrings, and make-up. Thus, competing in the costume contest with my wife at a convention would be an ideal "excuse" to appear in public as a woman. I am focusing on our vacations to distant locations so I am not likely to be recognized. and going out en femme with her, using a ladies restroom. and dining while presenting as a female would be a big turn-on.

Hi I'm Roberta, Married for 25 yrs this month .My wife knew before we were married. She tried to deal with it but really disapproves. I tried several times to purge doesn't work. I wish I could please her. I love her, But I love to dress up too. What should I do.
__________________________________________________ _____________
my fem clock is racing and i need to catch up.im not getting any younger.someone please help me.

Sounds like underdressing is now your best option. I too have wanted to wear femme things for many years – I remember “trying” my sister’s training bras and falsies 50+ years ago. Then crossdressing subsided, except on business trips. Now that I have retired, business trips are non-existent, but the opportunity to underdress has increased. My desire to crossdress has also increased as sex has decreased and my wife’s wardrobe has become very masculine – no sexy lingerie, pantyhose. or skirts (except for dress up occasions) and she removes her bra as soon as she gets home from work. It seems she doesn’t want to be dress as a woman, but I so! Underdressing suggestions that my wife has “bought-in to” are listed in my post on 6/6 in the For Those Who Underdress… thread, so I have not repeated them here.

My wife doesn't know that I crossdress and I don't know what her reaction would be if she found out. I have only tried her skirts or dresses when she has been out or away, without make-up or wig which I don't have anyway. For my full make-overs I have been to professional crossdressing services when I have been traveling alone on business.

The first time I went out en femme was in daylight on a business trip. I had gotten lingerie, pantyhose, shoes, earrings. and a sleeveless yellow dress locally. I had a transformation and changed to femme clothes at the salon. Afterward I walked on the main drag. I remember going to a theater there, and then driving back to the hotel. I also remember I was real nervous going out as a woman, but it was super and that experience made me want to go out en femme again.

Wearing panties, pantyhose, a short slip, and women's pull-on pants is now "natural". The farther I go, the farther I want to go! As my wife doesn’t want to see me “dressed”, it was a significant step when she saw me wearing panties, a slip, thigh high nylons and a garter belt in our hotel room on a trip last year. I was “underdressing” when we were in public though, as she doesn’t want me to be en femme when I’m with her.

cd300

10-05-2008, 07:51 PM

thats where i am at with my wife. though i am almost always wearing panties only exception is not a work, also i get to wear non obvious fem pj's as for full time not why i like or enjoy this i like the short term enjoyment of dressing being a man for my wife and kids i what i want mostly.. just need some gurly time :) this is when it is no ask no tell
jessica

Meg East

10-05-2008, 10:30 PM

sfwarbonnet

10-06-2008, 01:53 PM

We have been married for some thirty seven years. I outted myself to my wife about fifteen years ago. She has told me she would not have married me if she had known about my crossdressing prior to our wedding. Since then, she is somewhat understanding. I dress in the house every day. She does help me shop for clothing.

41 years here, and I'm sure she wouldn't have married me if she knew then that I wanted to wear women's clothes. Although my desire to appear as a woman is long-standing, it is more acute now. It was a big step when she saw me wearing panties, thigh high support nylons. a garter belt, and slip on a trip last year. Panties, pantyhose, and a slip are now customary attire for me with women's pull-on slacks and a top. Although she bought most of my femme clothes and has said "wear what you want at home", she is still opposed to my impersonating a female in public. I'm looking for a suitable venue and a way to go out with her in en femme.

mikala

10-06-2008, 09:00 PM

My wife has made comments before like "my gig" or "my acting out" in a light hearted manner. But she vasillates from being very uninterested in discussing it to making comment that I don't use her clothes, but instead buy my own. I do have high quality glue on forms and we have had sex while I am in some great lingerie, and she liked it, but says she doesn't want to do it all the time. I wish she did like it all the time, and I love the forms and the feeling of the weight and movement, and of course the fit that the lingerie gives about my torso and breasts. I love the soft lip stick on my lips when we kiss. I really like when she rubs her breasts and hands on my breast forms. But too often she is not interested in that kind of sex.

LA CINDY LOVE

10-06-2008, 11:17 PM

My wife tolerant Cindy ,sometimes she said she feels like she is competition with Cindy like there is another women in the house and dose not like Cindy's cloths in the closet close to hers cloths she will have something good to say about Cindy when she is in a good mode but when we have a argument Cindy comes up or my Friends come up or the clubs comes and yes she calls me a fag or she feels that I am gay.

LA CINDY LOVE

Jess_cd32

10-07-2008, 02:54 AM

She seems terrified, and wants it to go away is my take on it but we never really talk about it . I like too many others waited years to come out to my wife, not always a good outcome. If you are not married please don't tell yourself it will go away some day or I'll keep it from her somehow.

We're not married, but I consider ourselves married at this point.
Very simliar situation here to yours, and I know its only based on ignorance of cd's. Can't even bring up that subject which I resent to a degree. Can't bring up other subjects also that have nothing to do w/ cd-ing, been telling her its getting old real fast, conservatism has its place.

If the shoe was on the other foot, I would be open to what she had to say and felt. Guess the ignorance of it just scares the hell out of some SO's.

khloey

10-07-2008, 07:40 AM

My wife Lindsey likes my en femme side,is a 100% supportive and knows has a "girlfriend" now that she loves to death including her friends.

Raven Wynter Rayne

10-07-2008, 08:37 AM

My wife understands it (Raven) is a part of Me ,but does not wish to Meet "Her", I also wear panties 24/7 and do not own any male underwear. However I have been buying womans jeans now and She has told Me She likes how they fit Me (Yes the one thing She sees Me wear) When We go shopping She will let Me pick out stuff I like and buy it for Me!! as for going full time that is one of Her fears, But I do not think I would dress more than 1 or 2 days a week as I am lazy, lol, and as You all Know dressing is a lot of work!!

BeckiB

10-16-2008, 04:10 PM

I guess I am one of the lucky ones. My wifes enjoys the time we spend together dressed. She has helped me in many ways from hair styles to clothes to just being there if I need her.
The first time I dressed we went to see Jamie Austin and we both had a makeover. I was all brave and decided to leave dressed...I forgot one important thing...to fill the gas tank. We had to stop to get gas and she told me to stay in the car and she would pump it. Funny thing is I am 6' 1" and she is a little over 5' but she was going to take care of me.
She is totally excepting and enjoys going out and meeting other girls. Like I said I feel very lucky

maid phylis

10-16-2008, 04:49 PM

i just read someones post about telling your wife.for me it took about 30 years of marriage to finally tell her .and that was because i was having what i thought was a heart attack.in the end it wasnt that serious but i did have to go to the doctor and change my diet.well that was the warning bell telling me to tell her all about my self and why i like to wear womens clothes. she was very understanding and i was very happy and as a lot of other girls she just doesnt want to see my as a woman.this makes me happy and i can dress and go out on a wednesday evening and meet my girl friends in new york city.:love:phylisanne

NicoleScott

10-16-2008, 08:53 PM

She knows, tolerates, accepts, and even encourages. But she does not participate.

Jennifer Brooks

10-16-2008, 08:59 PM

sfwarbonnet

10-17-2008, 11:12 AM

She gets very mean about it and says she doesn't want to know about it. She does know about my younger days of dressing but not the today's girl. My wife only knows about my present tendencies of dressing which is all I have let her know. I won't tell her I am dressing hard-core because of her mean thinking of CDing.

I am CDing more now because my wife doesn't want sex, and she would not appear with me in public if I were "dressed". I figure that by pushing her limits now, she will eventually accept me as a woman and we can be together as sisters and have "girl" fun...

Desiree2bababe

10-17-2008, 11:15 AM

My wife used to be tolerant but became disgusted with it once she knew I'd been with men while dressed. No, I wouldn't want to become a full time female, I love my male self and think being female 24/7 would take the fun out of it.

joann426

10-17-2008, 11:33 AM

i feel the same way jenifer mine did getmad at me before but now she knows that i dress at home and dont say a thing to me now except (where did you get that ) meaning my clothes i really think she is getting use to it also i do a lot for her to so go from there

10-17-2008, 11:44 AM

my wife thinks it's disgusting sick ,sick ,sick after 21 years of marrage she wants a divorce but for now we are married

Andrea-B

10-17-2008, 01:47 PM

I am exceptionally lucky that my wife is very supportive, however it is based on the understanding that I am still 'her man' and will remain so. I recognize the wonderful balance that we have achieved and cherish it fully.

This is great with me as my dressing is a casual pastime albeit a very important one to me.

I get to be two important people to her and that cannot be a bad thing

andrea

lauraabdl

10-17-2008, 03:33 PM

I didnot tell my wife at first, a large mistake as I now look back. My SO is somewhat tolerant now days. She will alow me to wear panties 24/7 but draws the line on lingere in bed. She allows silk PJ's, guess she would have a cow if she ever saw my female wardrobe. Since it is extremely more complete than hers could ever be. She is not a totally girly girl as I am when I get dressed up. She is getting better at alowing me to dress in private with her knowledge, guess it is a learning curve for SO's. But she knows that this is not going to go away and I am not interested in going fully girl and all. I totally enjoy dressing up and being myself in private, although I did get the chance to go out dressed up in Denver, CO. to B.J. Carosuel. It was the most exciting night of my life. Being dressed up and out and people knew I was a MTF crossdresser and didn't mind at all. This is what I would like to do agian, but well I will just have to wait for that occasion to happen agian.
Laura

KeriB

10-17-2008, 08:10 PM

My wife "tolerates" it at this point but really has some issues being around the house even when I am presenting female. She has and does help me buy things in the stores though, and tries to dispense make-up advice lol... But she absolutely is fearful of where this will all lead, particularly as I am going to Fantasia next week and will be 24/7 for four days...

Do I want to transition? Yes.. will she support that? Unlikely.... That's why I present "guy" but aas another stated here, I still feel like myself inside regardless of the clothes I have on.....

SexyLatexSamantha

10-17-2008, 08:15 PM

I am lucky. My wife thinks it is great. She totally supports me. She even picks out things for me to buy or wear. Or says things like you would look great in that. She would have it no other way. If I don't dress for a while, she asks if something is wrong. I love her so much.

Misty_cder

10-18-2008, 03:27 AM

I told my wife about my dressing when we were still just dating. She has always been accepting, but I think it is due how careful I am about not being "discovered". When I do get time to dress, she will help with the makeup and selection of clothing at times. Other times she will just let me do what ever.

Shelly67

10-18-2008, 05:10 AM

I,m also one of the very lucky girls .
My wife and I have had our difficulties with my dressing , but only after coming out so late . After so many chats , we now are so solid with Shelly it couldnt be better.
Its been a benefit in the bedroom also , desire has never been so raw . Its almost as if we,ve started dating all over again. I,m so glad , and graciously thankfull it almost brings a tear to my eye .
My only fear is that one day my darling wife , partner , and sexy girlfriend will have a change of mind over my alter ego........ I pray not .

Rachell

10-18-2008, 05:26 AM

Hey Girlfriend, I am one of the very blessed..:yahoo:..my wife is 100% fine with my CDing and supports me fully!:hugs: Although I'm not able to go out to town dressed (redneckville, somebody would get hurt:beatup:) I am always underdressed and our toenails are always the same color! I may have to look and act "male" at work but at home, thank GOD I don't have to live that macho crap! Kaitlin

My wife is also very accepting,just the same as Katlin, I keep it at home also. Wear undergarments 24/7 makes me feel good and relaxing.
Rachell

Angela-Russell

10-18-2008, 05:30 AM

My lovely wife is accepting, occasionally supportive & helpful, but would really prefer it if I didn't cd. I think she puts up with me because we love each other a lot, & she knows how much I enjoy it, & that I'll never stop.

audrey-lynn

10-18-2008, 07:36 AM

My wife found out about Audrey about 15 years ago. Found my hideout for my clothes. Well she took it fairly well. She is accepting , I can dress around the house, underdress when we go out. She buys me clothes .wigs and makeup. I can go out dressed if I don't do it to close to home ( however she won't go with me). And the biggest no no is not in our bed. We have a big house with emty bedrooms so I have my own room for the nights I want to be Audrey.
As for full time I think I would like to. But I know she wouldn't go for it. So for now out of the ?.

jan croft

10-18-2008, 09:15 AM

Told my wife before we wed -she is very supportive.
Guess I'm a lucky girl.

jennylogan

10-18-2008, 09:37 AM

I'm very fortunate in that my wife totally accepts this as part of who I am. She has bought me fem clothing and has made room in the closets for my second wardrobe. Because we live in a very conservative area and our families are all practicing God squaders, her biggest concern is when I am en femme in public. Therefore, I am very discreet and only go out in public when I am out of the local area. The majority of the time I am en femme is in the house but I would go full time, non surgical in an instant. I'd love to throw all the guy crap out but that would create far more problems than it would solve. Still, I'm very blessed to have such a supportive and loving SO. It could be(and has been) a lot worse.

geri-tg.

10-18-2008, 09:41 AM

My wife has been supportive for many years.We talk and set limits which is fine with me.The limits are less and less all the time.We share make up and clothes.I wish I had come out to her long before I did.

Raychel

10-18-2008, 10:28 AM

My wife has had the full gammut about this from supportive to get it out of my life, Just last week she said that she was getting very bothered by it, Time for Raychel to take a step back into the closet for a while.

But now we have a haloween party to go to. I said that I could go as a grouchy old man. And just let the conversation go from there. Later on in the week she sugested that I go as an old lady and she go as an old man.

:bitchslap::hugs::bigsmack::love::bonk::c9:

I am so confused.

Bethany38

10-18-2008, 10:34 AM

I guess I am also a lucky one. My wife has absolutely no problems w/my CD'ing as a matter of fact my wife is the one whom introduced me to this site. I have played around w/CD'ing since I was A young boy like a lot of us here. My dressing did'nt come out really until about thre or four years ago though. Ever since I started though my Wife has been a great supporter. She really enjoys when I dress and often helps me. She is also responsible for bringing me out of complete denile into complete acceptance of who I am. As for transitioning I don't really think I would ever take it that far but, she has told me that if I wanted to she would support and stay w/me. I am soooo in love w/her and have been since we met. The way she has supported me though has made me love her all the more. there you have it my :2c: worth.

Bethany

Laura_Stephens

10-18-2008, 11:43 AM

My wife goes out of her way to pretend that "that part of me" does not exist. Every time a public TS person is portrayed on TV, she goes out of her way to comment in a very negative fashion.

I wonder is she loves me or the lifestyle that my career affords her.

Last night we went out to dinner with some friends at a well known bistro. My wife brought up the subject of TS and told everyone at the table that she thought how "those kind of people" are sick and should be committed. Sadly almost everyone at the table, except me, agreed with her. I read it as a "shot across the bough".

Elizabeth2-

10-18-2008, 01:21 PM

My wife is warming slowly. She does buy items for me from time to time. We do nails nearly every Saturday night. And, we share clothes and makeup when the need arises. I have never been out as Elizabeth because my wife is terrified of the concept now. Perhaps later and far away from here.

However, I discovered a curiosity recently that we are working through. She found herself being jealous of my figure! She is exercising more and eating better. This may be an issue that some of you girls may need to look at. It may be standing behind your wife's rejection. My response is to help her to look as femme as she wants and to be as loving, supportive and understanding as much as I am able. I am getting responses from her that are helping me better express the real inner me.

For those of you that are unmarried and hiding in the closet, let my and my sister's comments be a guide to you. I could never go full time because of my love for my wife and the damage that it would do to my family. If not for them and the relationships that are there, Elizabeth would be my name and I would have a husband and children.

Sophia de la luz

10-18-2008, 01:45 PM

It's all still pretty new (within this last year), but so far she has been very accepting and encouraging. My birthday is coming up this week and I told her I wanted only female clothing. She has already found me some nice pants and a sweater. We're going shopping this afternoon so she gets more familiar with my likes/dislikes and how things fit. We wear similiar sizes, so that's a plus.
She likes me as I am, as is open to things changing in an authentic way. I return the favor. She is taking a stronger interest in her "look", inspired by the permission I am giving myself as well.
As for transitioning: I do intend on dressing full time, especially once we sell our business and move to a new area. I'm already nearly full time now, but some of the clothing is pretty subdued for the public. As for surgery, I wouldn't let a doctor touch my penis. I have had thoughts of breast implants, but I would only do it far down the road and at my wife's encouragement (which isn't likely).
I like the choice to present as a woman, and explore new areas of my personality. It's not that I experience myself as a woman inside, it's something that includes feminine and masculine forces and right now is a time of allowing the feminine to take me in new directions.

Donnadcd

10-19-2008, 09:32 PM

JennieL

10-20-2008, 03:46 AM

I told my wife two years before we married (we dated a long time before) and she tried her best to understand and accommodate. However, we live in a rather intolerant society and it is a difficult hurdle for her to overcome. Although she doesn't admit, I know she is scared witless that one of the usual fears of SO's will materialise: that I'll be discovered (with humiliating social consequences for us both); that I'll want SRS, or that I'll turn gay.
It's difficult to allay to these fears, especially as her fears have hit my confidence and discussing all the issues becomes more difficult again.
However, we love each other and she does give me freedom to dress when she's not around - best I can hope for at the moment

sfwarbonnet

10-20-2008, 02:59 PM

I have been en femme with my wife at Halloween several times, but once when I put her hand umder my skirt on the way home and I climbed into bed still wearing lingerie so she could get-in-my-panties, she asked me to remove the "girl things" before we had sex. At other times she doesn’t want to see me “dressed”, so it was a significant step when she saw me wearing panties, a slip, thigh high nylons and a garter belt in our hotel room on a trip last year. I was “underdressing” when we were in public though, as she doesn’t want me to impersonate a female and use a publc ladies restroom when I’m out with her.

I noted a few months ago that her late Mom’s pull-on pants were the same size as mine so I suggested that I wear them. My wife not only said no, but HELL NO! Although she bought most of my womens clothes, she is verry possive about what's hers and mine. An item that I want, but haven't seen lately, is a collar bra for wearing with sweaters, as I prefer not to wear sweaters collarless. That would also give me an "excuse" to wear a bra when I go out with my wife. She would balk now if I suggested appearing as a female wearing a bra, wig, earrings, and make-up.

I told my wife two years before we married (we dated a long time before) and she tried her best to understand and accommodate. However, we live in a rather intolerant society and it is a difficult hurdle for her to overcome. Although she doesn't admit, I know she is scared witless that one of the usual fears of SO's will materialise: that I'll be discovered (with humiliating social consequences for us both); that I'll want SRS, or that I'll turn gay.
It's difficult to allay to these fears, especially as her fears have hit my confidence and discussing all the issues becomes more difficult again.
However, we love each other and she does give me freedom to dress when she's not around - best I can hope for at the moment

As a former US Government employee, I'm no stranger to acronyms, but I guess I don't know them all. What's SRS?

angelcd23

10-20-2008, 05:54 PM

My wife hates it and doesn't like it at all. And doesn't want to see me all dressed up. :sad:

And being part time is fine for me.

NylonMan

10-20-2008, 10:11 PM

My wife knows, and has known since before we got married. She does not approve, but accepts. When it benefits her(wink wink), she is totally into it, otherwise, she gets annoyed and want nothing to do with it.

sfwarbonnet

11-07-2008, 10:18 AM

Careless? Not exactly sure. She was also curious and went looking. But I'm glad it's finally out. It's like a weight off my shoulders. Gonna have to wait and see where this goes from here.

I have worn partyhose with my slip and long gray tee (aka dress) several evenings now, so it is becoming "natural". My wife hasn't reacted yet, but it is now certain that she knows. I wash the slip and pantyhose by hand and line dry them in my shower so they are not "hidden" and she bought me most of my femme clothes as disability "accommodations" anyway. I want to peruse the slips at our local Penney's as I am looking for slips with no bidice and a tank top. The ideal ones would be like the bodyslips that I got there last year, but without the spandex! The closest one to that on-line is a Vanity Fair 18" spin slip. I was concerned that the largest size available might be too small. but it is OK. The straps are narrower (like the straps on the bra that I'm wearing) but that is OK too, as they don't show since I wear the slip as a undershirt it in "boy" mode.

Michl41

11-07-2008, 04:32 PM

My wife hates it, use to threaten divorce, until I moved out and now we get along quite well. I now dress up whenever I want and now that the fall is here, I get this desire to dress often, and since Halloween I've been over the top with it and now very passable.

DonnaT

11-07-2008, 07:07 PM

meg_dc_00

11-07-2008, 08:15 PM

I'm currently single, but reading all these posts of accepting, encouraging or non-accepting wives makes me realize how important the decision is of who a person marries... they could make your life wonderful or make you hide or feel shame.

I did have a beautiful girlfriend who really wanted to get married, but she wasn't exactly "accepting", and things ended mostly because of this issue, that was 4 years ago.

I'm 33 now, and I'm definitely looking for someone, but a girlfriend's level of understanding/acceptance would be a very important factor in marrying someone.

If I fell in love and got married at a younger age, acceptance would've probably of lesser of an issue (simply because I didn't "know" myself as much), so I can see why many of the tgirls here are married somewhat closed-minded people.

Jeannie

11-07-2008, 08:32 PM

After my wife and were married, I guess about year or so it came out that I dressed. Her answer was to not hide it from her and I don't. I don't think she truly understands it but when I get the urge like now she is ok with it. We made a promise to never keep secrets about things like this and so after almost twenty years together we are still deeply in love and accept all of our flaws as perfectly alright. She is truly my friend and confidant. We love shopping together because I will go to the womens section of the stores with her and not complain, oh how dreadful. LOL. There are times I wonder what it would be like to a women , but I really don't want transform.

Jeannie

Sam44

11-07-2008, 08:47 PM

My wife has known for 33 yrs, hates it but tolerates it.

I can dress, sans wig and makeup, around the house with no problems. Wear a nightgown to bed.

I can go out, but mustn't leave the house in fem mode.

She'd prefer I didn't dress at all, and wishes it would go away, but she knows this is part of me, born this way, and it's not going away.

She's been out with me, and has bought me many fem items. She wants me to be happy.

Still, she hates it.

Except for the number of years my wife could have written this. Some days she doesn't mind at all what I wear out (as long as I cover it till we get into the car so the neighbors don't see.) Other days it's more of a problem :)

sherib

11-07-2008, 09:47 PM

My wife tolerates it but doesn't want anything to do with. Then every now an then shewill give me some small feminent thing.

DanaR

11-07-2008, 10:47 PM

My wife would probably rather I didn't do this, but she is okay with it other than that. She buys me things and helps me with clothes. She keeps bugging me to go through my things, I just haven't had time lately. She has gone out with before, and will probably go again. I've been so busy that last couple of years, so dressing hasn't been high on the list; but I do dress whenever I like.

Terra_Branford

11-07-2008, 11:26 PM

My wife is very supportive. She goes shopping with me, helps me with makeup and such, and we've gone out in public a few times as a cute lesbian couple. :D As for being a woman full-time, it's not for me. I consider myself androgyne, and acting female all the time would be no more true to myself than acting male all the time.

silkysabrina

11-08-2008, 01:05 AM

Hi, I thought I would share my experience as a married crossdresser, and try to answer your questions. First off it was actually my wife who approached the subject about wondering if I would be willing to crossdress! Oh course all my life I had enjoyed everything that was feminine. I love women, women's things, clothes, hosiery and shoes! But now was my chance to actually dress up and not feel ashamed or self-concious, well maybe a little. I believe we have the best of both worlds together. We shop together, share a lot of our clothes, she helps me with my makeup. I know for a lot of us (CD's) out there the situation is very different. In my first marriage I would never have been able to broach the subject with my wife. But then I suppose it was because I was married to the wrong woman. I know of several couples who like to dress up together and shop etc. So all I can say is there are women out there who are truely interested, and desire a hubby who can be a "girlfriend" when a need arises. All I can say is if you are married you should carefully approach your wife about it, not telling her can be conceived as lying which can never help a relationship. Just be ready for her answer.

To address, the second part of your question, that is about wanting to be full time? For me the answer would be no. For a couple of reasons, first I love to dress because its a great and fun relief from my manly world. I love the feel of the clothes, the freedom and anonymity it gives me, not to mention the chance to experience both sides of life. When I dress, I can go places and no one but my wife knows who I am, yet alone what I am inside. I especially please my wife when she feels the need of some feminine company. But second, my wife loves me as a man, and for what men are good for. We have a great physical relationship when I am a man, and a beautiful emotional relationship when I am Sabrina.

Sorry for the book, but you asked. :D

Jamees_Girl

11-08-2008, 01:26 AM

I as the SO of MY gorgeous CD, I can say I feel for you guys that are getting such negativity. I commend you for being open! I was more hurt by the fact Jamee & I were married 7 years before he felt he could trust me enough to tell me. I love him for who he is, NOT what he wears! I am (being raised with 5 brothers)into alot of GUY things, so I guess I figure why cant he (being raised with 5 sisters and 4 brothers) be into GIRL things! LOL We shop together, and because of 4 children at home, he dont dress as much as he would like, but I dont mind at all when he does. YES I did, and still do have unanswered questions and concerns, but i guess in time the answers will come.:)

Amanda_Robinson

11-08-2008, 01:35 AM

My wife doesn't mind at all. I had to fess up about 10 years ago when she found a receipt for cosmetics in the laundry. :o She chuckled a bit but told me it was OK. She is very kind and doesn't mind at all. :)

Laurelanne

11-08-2008, 03:03 AM

I have been so lucky to have an s.o. that understands. My first one didnt , but as amatter of fact she has bought me clothes over the years and on occasion helps me dress and we go out. More now that all the kids have left home. Its wonderful and im so lucky..:daydreaming:

suezeq

11-08-2008, 06:49 AM

meet wife on internet told her befor we even meet shes bee n100% she will pick my clothes for me and telles me when they do not suit love her loadsxxx

Michelle_NY

11-08-2008, 07:41 AM

Mine hates it gf, has no interest in it at all

Selene EV

11-08-2008, 02:02 PM

My wife is in the "Not Accepting, Hates it, Wants No Part Of It" Colunm. I live my CD life in the shadows. Well its only been 4 years since she found out so maybe if I give her a little time she'll come around (haha). I'm very envious of some of you girls.

Bootsiegalore

11-08-2008, 05:44 PM

My wife loves it and goes to events and TG balls and such. She loves all the people in my TG group and we have made local friends and go out from time to time. Her opinion of the TG friends I have is that they ar more "real" and are freindlier than most of the other people we know.

Tara

Jamees_Girl

11-16-2008, 01:18 AM

Where or should I ask, How do you learn of these events / balls. As I am new to this whole thing, only learning of it about 1 yr ago, I as the SO would not mind going to these meetings with my CDer,,if he would go. I would LOVE the chance to meet and hang with other couples in our situation! Thanks

tanya1976

11-16-2008, 02:45 AM

After I told my first wife her reaction gradually descended from bemused shock to weary disgust, and ultimately outright contempt..It all got very nasty. To this day she still blames my crossdressing for everything that is wrong in her life. Any communication we have usually ends with,'...but...but.. YOUR'E A TRANSVESTITE!" followed by a storming off or slamming down of the phone.
Happily my new girlfriend is very supportive and accepting. I can't tell you how much of a relief it is to hear someone say, 'It really isn't that big a deal...' For my part I try not to get too carried away; keep dressing up to a once a week/fortnight etc, and also make sure I do the stuff she likes too :) One thing I do know is I couldn't keep it a secret. I know it's always a risky proposition and I suppose there's no great way of ever breaking the news but anyone I'm with, although they have the choice to 'get involved' as little or as much as they like, would have to accept it -or not. I won't stay in a relationship ever again where I'm made to feel bad for being what I am. A cliche I suppose but if someone doesn't like it, it's their problem. Not mine, or yours.

Laurie A

11-16-2008, 08:55 AM

I gradually introduced my wife to my hobby over the last ten years. Being one who does not deal well with rejection, I was very cautious at first. If at any time she had given me negative vibes about it I would have stopped, but she always seemed to be accepting. It was really my shyness about it that made it awkward between us.

Around two years ago we started to talk about it more openly, at my request. I summoned the courage one night at dinner (after a few glasses of wine) to ask her outright what she thought of it. Now, she is not only accepting, she actually encourages it. On occasions she has purchases me clothing, and picks out what she wants me to wear to bed.

We both are very comfortable with my level of CD'ing, which rarely extends out of the bedroom. Our relationship has all of the normal ups and downs that any couple would, but thankfully, crossdressing is definitely a pleasure for both of us.:love:

MarciManseau

11-16-2008, 10:26 AM

My situation is unique as we're not married, although we're a committed couple and plan to be together always.

Also, Julie met me after I was full time as a woman, so she's never seen my other side, and never will. She's completely accepting of me as a woman, and says we're more like a lesbian couple, even thought we're both bisexual.

The traditional "lines" or boundaries are completely blurred here, and we love it. :D

Smoochies for all, Marci and Julie

Miss Tessa

11-16-2008, 10:46 AM

I'm sorry Dita that your wife tells you that I think you look just fine.I'm sorry to everyone who's wife is not totally understanding.

I never have been married or had a gf that knows of my dressing (I'm a TS who has transitioned).

The closest thing is my kids mom. I never see my son or his mother except on rare occasions when they are in Florida.

She is however entirely ok with it because she is an open-minded goth/aristic music freak type girl and is bisexual and I am the same way and bi too. And my son is 6 years old and likes to CD and wear makeup and might be gay.

Which I am proud of him for. We have our reasons for not being together but I'm glad that if we ever do get together as a family that this will not be an issue for us with such a large compatibility factor.

I think perhaps someday we might both want to settle down and we might get together as a family of freaks=)

monique01

11-16-2008, 12:08 PM

I told my wife(girlfriend then) when we first met more then 14 years ago after just a few dates. I decided that if she didn't accept it I didn't want to be hiding my dressing or fem side. She accepted it and now encourages it and helps me with tips and we go clothes shopping. Is funny some as she never was one to be very feminine herself and jokingly says I'm more fem then she is.

Mitch23

11-16-2008, 02:40 PM

Had a conversation with my wife yesterday in which she said she was sick to her stomach at the thought of me wearing frilly panties, deeply ashamed that all my friends and colleagues will be laughing at me behind my back - and finally thanking me for destroying our marriage with my habit. Thats after 18 months of knowing - so i guess we're not making a lot of progress ...

mitch

zoii

11-16-2008, 03:11 PM

this thread makes me feel bad, my wife is sitting right next to me, I'm fully dressed, she keeps telling me I look very nice.

She has been supportive since I worked up enough nerve to tell her years ago. Got married this summer, even had a girl's night out on the honeymoon.

TSchapes

11-16-2008, 09:55 PM

Actually one child.

My wife knows, doesn't like to see me dressed, doesn't want to understand it. I go out from time to time, but not with her blessing.

Have I ever thought of going all the way, yes. Do I still? Yes. Will I, no.

Tracy

Jessicainme

11-16-2008, 10:12 PM

I'm not sure if my wife would approve or not. I'm so far back in the closet that they have to pump sunshine to me. I shaved my underarms once and when see seen that I did,she said, that it was ok if I wanted to. I don't know how she would react if I went further.

Jessica

Holly

11-16-2008, 10:28 PM

My wife is a supportive participant... gotta love her. With few exceptions, she accompanies me when I go out. Does she have her limits? Absolutely. We work out those areas where there is discomfort by talking and compromise. Evidently it's worked as we will celebrate our 40th anniversary next month.

Amanduhrob

11-16-2008, 10:36 PM

My "Wife" (we are married for her family's sake) knew about my dressing before we became a serious couple, and doesn't mind at all. That being said, she is a Bi Dominatrix, and we live with another Bi Dominatrix, and I am their submissive. (Poly household)

I don't dress often, maybe 5 or 6 times a year, and my dressing is not part of our dynamic so both Dommes are very supportive of my dressing.

Susantgrl

11-16-2008, 10:49 PM

My wife hates it with a passion and lets no occasion unused to rub it in...

While I get chased by the guys when out and about and unexpectedly complimented by many women, she keeps telling me I am the ugliest woman on the face of the earth...

For what concerns living full time? I'd love to and I am working hard on it. As soon as I've got my job situation worked out, I'll go full time...including hormones, SRS, FFS, breast implants, a face lift... the works!

I just can't wait to dump all my male clothing in the garbage bin...

:love:Dita.
If you were to go full time would your wife stay with you?

Melani

11-17-2008, 01:37 AM

My wife would rather I didn't and as for full-time fem ... its not something I am interested in. I know the desire to wear fem clothes will never go away, I just hope one day to integrate my two halves so I become comfortable just being the person I am suppose to be.

paulaluvssz8

11-17-2008, 10:11 AM

My wife hates the idea of her man in a dress. Sometimes she lets me wear something of hers in either a way to apease me or add some kinky to the sex. And no I would only like to be a girl for a day. ANd then I would definately go back to me...

Me_Being_Me

11-19-2008, 11:24 PM

I've been married now for 6 months now. The best thing about it is communication. My wife knew of my dressing before we even started dating 2 years ago. She knew about it while we were attending college together. She doesn't mind me dressing and we even go out together on a weekly basis. It's just that she got married to a guy, so she would like to spend time with her husband as a guy also and thats understandable. Other than that, everything is great. Too bad we don't wear the same clothes size, our wardrobe would be huge, but shes a couple of sizes bigger than me.

keisha_k

12-02-2008, 10:16 PM

My wife would freak out if she found out. She's pretty conservative sexually.

Schatten Lupus

12-02-2008, 11:52 PM

I am not married, but I do plan on getting engaged New Years Eve. But my girlfriend does not have any problems with me cross dressing. She actually encourages it, and becomes disappointed when I cover it up at home and our room mate isn't home.
Also, I plan on starting therapy in a couple of months so I can begin transitioning, to become a full time woman.

Ashlie Marie

12-03-2008, 12:25 AM

for the all new girls here.. hears my story :-) MY wife is perfectly fine with it. I came out to her about 7 years before the wedding. I went through a lot of mess in my life and after the wedding and my 30th birthday I went out the first time dressed with her and friends and the rest is history, and like many other girls here we have certain CD rules at home. I am never dressed in the bedroom, and if she asks for a night out with me as her husband she gets it.. of course with us 10 weeks preganant now.. we shall see what changes in the months to come.. have a good one everyone

Ash

Sarasometimes

12-03-2008, 09:07 AM

Years ago she found out I visited CD forums and questioned me briefly when I returned late that night. I said I had an interest in it. i had a sleepless night and in the morning she didn't even mention it. I being too afraid to say anything just let it drop so she knows something but I think it is an don't ask don't tell approach. I think she would not be at all interested in knowing anymore than she does.

Cathytg

12-03-2008, 10:12 AM

Wow! You have touched something here with all those responses! Good job.

I have been married twice; I told my first wife after we married and my second wife before. Before is clearly much better.

My wife is completely supportive. I could not ask for anything better. She is wonderful. She also understands that, not only am I a CD, but I am also TG and that I am far more likely to understand her femme issues than almost any other man. She treasures my sensitivity. She also loves that I do housework and cook. And, we have a blast when we go shopping for her. Frankly, it is a very positive experience.

I have thought of full time one many occasions, but I cannot really imagine doing that for real. It can stay in the realm of fantasy.

Joanne f

12-03-2008, 10:43 AM

My wife is completely supportive of me , she has no problem with it at all .
Now that takes someone special to support me let alone put up with me :hugs:.

joanne

BonnieJG

12-03-2008, 10:50 AM

My wife is completely supportive of me she has no problem with it if I keep it in the house. She allway go out and buys me new stuff and for the past 3 week we go out and look together she gets I get stuff. some time she tell me to go change . . .

mklinden2010

12-03-2008, 11:59 AM

My first wife and I talked about this in depth shortly before we were to divorce anyway - over entirely unrelated matters. Her response was:

"Is that all that's bothering you? I can give you a lot of stuff. Wanna go shopping?"

My second wife was "spot on" about what she wanted in our marriage: "But, I want to be the woman!"

(I still think her honest response was hilarious. She was definitely "all woman, all the time" and there is no way I could or would make that claim.)

We were together for 18 years before her death. In that time, we worked out a lot of issues - about what size I really needed in different brands, about what make-up worked, and, about what I could do to look more acceptable in public, safe places to go dressed, and, of course, good places to shop.

My next wife, as it's looking these days, had to think about the issue for a while. There was no shock, no crying, no surprise over the matter; she just wanted to think about it. She did and she came back to me and said: "I think the relationship is worth it."

These situations may have all come about for me because I pay attention to how I feel about things and do something about those feelings. I have gone about this both ways:

"Dear, I'm feeling very unhappy and want to talk to you about something."

"Dear, I'm feeling very happy and I want to talk to you about something."

And, yes, as I note from reading many other posts, you don't just offer to talk about your feelings the first time, but every time.

"I felt you were OK with this and now I feel like you've cooled off. So, how are you feeling about this?"

"About what? Oh, honey... I'm sorry. Beth and her husband are having problems since she backed the car into the garage and she's been calling me at work everyday because Roger is so upset with her..."

"Oh, gee honey, that sucks. Doesn't insurance cover most of that?"

"Yes, but, it's the third time and he's thrown out the "D" word..."

"Ouch. Sucks to be them. Wow. Over a stupid car!"

"I knoowwww... I FEEL awful just thinking about it."

"I bet."

mklinden2010

12-03-2008, 12:08 PM

This needs it's own thread, really.

But, for the moment: "One thing at a time."

Rather than move blindly forward, back up and run at least some of what you're doing by your wife.

Better a small train wreck than a big one...

Meanwhile, statistically, it's a common thought but one that usually fades greatly when carefully examined:

"If men were really that good, women would chase them - instead of the other way around."

BuffyCD

12-03-2008, 12:15 PM

I'm not quite married, but i have been with my girlfriend for a good amount of time, and im sure we will be married one day! My girlfriend really took a huge step and accepted it as a part of me! From the very first day she found out she has been super supportive, and has helped me deal with this part of my life.

This is something that definitely takes both sides to make it work. As the CD'er you have to make sacrifices with your dressing and keep an open and honest communication with your SO. She in turn has to allow you to be YOU, and truly accept your lifestyle. If your SO truly cares for you, she will be there every step of the way, regardless of her pre conceived notions of what a CD'er may be.

She asks me to let her know if my feelings for dressing ever get stronger, or if i am curious about certain things. Alot of times our girls just want us to be honest with them!

If you have a healthy balance, it can make for an EXTREMELY fulfilling relationship! My CD'ing has definitely brought us even closer!

I think it also helps that we are extremely Open minded people! And that's not "subjectively" open minded, but truly open minded!

B.

pink femme

12-03-2008, 12:43 PM

It's a no go from me (or at least from my wife).

If she found out I would be kicked out. :sad:

I wish she actually knew and understood because at least then she would fully understand me.

You girls who have tolerant partners are so desperately lucky.

Do I want to be female - of course because the female way of life is everything I want.

Would I be female - Nope. I have children and my love for my family far outways my selfish desires.

Jenny Wilson

12-03-2008, 03:45 PM

My ex is totally non-tolerant of CDing, or anything else that is somewhat kinky or non-vanilla. She used to make very disparaging comments about CDers and anyone who pursued an alternative lifestyle.

Though I never told her that I crossdressed, apparently she figured it out at some point, based on a very cutting remark she wrote in an e-mail to me after our divorce was final.

I am now in a very loving relationship with a wonderful woman. We are nearing the 12 month point in our dating. We do not live together and she never intends to get married again, as she is going through her second divorce (though both of her marriage/relationships were anything but short) as she feels she is doomed to a life of failed relationships. However, she is a tolerant woman who holds socially liberal beliefs, for the most part. I am about to come out to her regarding CDing and one other "hobby" that I pursue.

As for whether or not I'd be willing to be a woman, I have given it a considerable amount of thought. When I first began exploring CDing on the internet back around 1996, I gave thought to transitioning but I am at the point in life, from the standpoint of family and career, that I feel the die is cast. I've been CDing off and on since I was 10, though very steadily since I turned 30 (I'm 56 now). I'll continue to dress up, but having surgery and transitioning is not in the cards for me.

I don't think one sex is better than the other. I simply feel they are different, each with pluses and minuses. I feel that, knowing what I know now, which obviously I wouldn't), I would have been happy to grow up female.

If by some fate of the cosmos I were changed into a woman, a real GG, not by way of SRS (not that there is anything wrong with that, I just want it all, ovaries, natural curves and all of the proper plumbing/nerve endings), I would be very happy. While the cosmos was at it, it could drop off a few years too so that my new boobs would still be perky and so I could experience plenty of sex from the "other side."

Jenny

jessielee

12-03-2008, 06:07 PM

my wife can have absolutely nothing to do with crossdressing for any reason. if i didn't know that from wng her, her responses to "weird" subjects on Oprah are informative enough to warn me well clear of even a hint of my passion. she won't even say "ewww!" its more like, "an you believe it? that man is really a pregnant woman. i cannot beieve how far people have sunk. please, jesse, don't even decide you want to be a woman, okay?" gulp! and i am certain she suspects not a thing!
she finds it disgustig, abhorant, depraved, sinful.
in another reality, yes, a full time female 24/7, unquestionably.
except i have progressed to a certain point past lonelines and despair and created a family. as hypocritical as it may seem to some here to read me say it, they come first. i would stop dressing and in secret and may someday to spare them.
to go back in time and do it all diferently, either be a biological gg or dressing much younger and coming clean before marriage, before proposing, to vett, so to speak, for if she couldn't handle that back then, i would have known it wouldn't be an equal partnership, a safe haven of knowning i am loved and accepted no matter what, one of no guards, no reservations, yes, i would. only twinge here is my lovely ones would never have been born because even warned ahead of time, if i had had the mind to warn her, she would have sent me packing.
thanks for asking. hope a good cross section of data is being enjoyed! i am enjoyng seeing your stories.
hugs,
jessie

Rita D

12-03-2008, 06:43 PM

Kimberly's explanation of her wife's feelings, sound very much like MY wife's. I think if she could wish it away- she would. But she gives me the space to be Rita when I need to be. She critiques (lovingly) my choices of clothes and makeup. She buys Rita gifts occasionally (Perfume, jewelry, etc.) I told her about Rita 7 years into the marriage, and she's still here- 31 years later...

Rita D

sami1952

12-03-2008, 07:38 PM

My so just thinks i'm weird and lets me do my thing.

Jenniferpl

12-03-2008, 07:54 PM

Wife supports it and helps me buys makeup.

Jessicainme

12-03-2008, 10:20 PM

I told my wife about a week ago that I crossdress. She has never seen me dressed and most likely never will. Since I told her she hasn't said anything about it. Her biggest fear is that I'm going to find a girlfriend or boyfriend and leave her. That I will never do...Love her to much..if she asked me to stop I would for her.

Jessica

BlUeDrAgOn

12-04-2008, 06:56 AM

As I said in other thread, my wife is still very hostile about this subject. But I hope things will eventually become easier. She has only knew about it for a month now.

Tashee

12-04-2008, 08:38 AM

First, I would not make her my Wife if she did not love and accept me in total.
I have been blessed to attract like minded open souls. I try never to mix with ignorance if I do not have to. Also my dressing was a need from within not a sexual urge for me.

Whether it be your male friends or female friends attempt to surround yourself with open minded individuals ,such as yourself..

Trisha07

12-04-2008, 08:53 AM

My wife of 36 yrs. knows about my dressing,does not want any part of it.
So until things change, I just have to dress when I`m alone.Would love to dress and go to TV meetings.Finally took some pictures today,and now as my avatar.
Trisha

Ashlee

12-04-2008, 09:05 AM

Wife saw me once at Halloween. Came home en femme after professional makeover. She simply said at the end of the night she didn't want to see me dressed like that again. I tried beating around the bush and feeling her out if something can happen behind closed doors and it appears to be no go. I will have to do things in private as far as dressing goes. I'd love to have the life some of you have (supportive spouse, being able to attend SCC, First Event, Fall Harvest etc)

Margot

12-04-2008, 09:20 AM

My wife is very supportive. However if the desires went away tomorrow she'd probably be thrilled with that too. However; she knows that cannot happen. She is very happy with me as Margot or her husband but wishes me to not come out to family and this would be an embarrasment. I respect that even though I would not have the nerve anyway. I am mostly en femme around our home.
Margot

FromTheSouth

12-07-2008, 08:36 PM

My wife is still coming tho terms with it, it reall y just came out about a week ago, and so far she has been very understanding, but she is still unsure of all this because it is all a new cencept for her. And no I don't think I could ever go out in public dressed!

Jennifer_Cross

12-07-2008, 10:49 PM

I'm another one of those luckey one's... My partner (GG) reserected my CD'ing and loves it. She encourages me to dress (even demands it) She spends time choosing clothes and wigs and does all my make over... Life could not be better... I just hope it stays this way because she has given me a wonderful feeling.

Bethany38

12-12-2008, 08:58 PM

I also am one of the lucky ones. My wife is 100% accepting and supportive. We shop together and dress one another. We have yet to go out together due to the fact that I am still only a home dresser. I don't feel the need for everyone to know of Bethany just yet. Haveing her know and accept is enough for right now. My son is only 12 and I don't want him to have to try and understand at such an tender age. As for being full time I am still not sure maybe sometime in the future, but for now I am content.:)

Cathytg

12-12-2008, 09:16 PM

My wife is very happy with my gender position. She knows that it seems to make me a great deal more sensitive and empathic than I would be otherwise. It is very positive situation and I am welcome to dress any time I wish.

sfwarbonnet

12-13-2008, 10:25 AM

I am again wearing a bra with panties, pantyhose, and a short tank top slip. My best chance to wear a bra when with my wife appears to be to get a bra slip. As I would be underdressing when we're "out", the bra wouldn't show if the cup size was a B or less. Also, it has now become customary for me to remove my women's pull on pants and wear a long tee (aka dress) at home in the evening. A bra slip would add a bra to the usual panties, pantyhose, and slip.

glynnis

12-13-2008, 11:36 AM

I am very lucky my wife acepts me as I am and encourages me.Calls me by my male name when in drab and my feminine name when dressed.I dont go out dressed unless we are traveling away from home and then only somewhere with not too many people around.She does encourage me to go out in public but I havnt summond up the courage yet to go out where it is busy yet.:hugs:

Sarah Martin

12-13-2008, 05:45 PM

I really feel for all you girls in awkward circumstances where you have to stay ‘in the closet’ or where your partner knows but does not approve. It must be hell wanting to let out the girl inside and not being able to. I truly hope things work out for you.

I am so lucky to have the support of my wife. I told her about my crossdressing before we got married (on the night after I proposed, in fact) and she was fine with it.

We have had 31 years of being happily married and she is still as supportive as ever: sharing clothes (when we were the same size), helping with make-up, helping me to shop for bras, clothes & shoes and so on.

I dress about 75% of the time at home (visitors/family stop me during the other 25%) but would be full-time if I could – and she is OK with that. In fact, she sometimes forces Sarah to come “out of hiding” by telling me to go and get dressed up en femme and help with the chores: cooking, washing, ironing etc!

Sarah
Trainee Domestic Goddess

AKKaren

12-14-2008, 01:41 AM

Elaine is tolerant most of the time...I'm sure she would rather Karen went away........

Katy Dee

12-14-2008, 02:21 AM

I feel for all you gals out there that have unaccepting wives. They are missing so much! It can be a beautiful thing if shared. I adore my CD partner as a woman or himself and love the pants off him!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is a better person for having the two qualities and choices . I do hope you can all sort it out with your wives. If not, then try to cope with your emotions and don't feel bad about what you are. love to you all,
Katy Dee (GG)
:hugs:

tanyacd

12-14-2008, 02:22 AM

coming from someone who never told his wife how much i actually am into it.... now that a long marriage is coming to an end, I regret not having told her sooner. It created distance between us. I loved her, but was ashamed i guess. In my case we should have sat down and had the discussion. She found pictures of me, but she knew i was uncomfortable talking about it, and so was she I think, so we never really did. I was'nt really into it that much so it wasnt a big deal.

If you only do it occasionally, and dont want to tell her, dont. She may not like it, and you may not always be a crossdresser.

Im not a professional but hopefully you can gain from my life experience.

bridget jones

12-14-2008, 02:50 AM

I was married and didn't dress for a very long time.Now I'm single,I wear what and when I want.I am so happy to be Bridget again,I really missed her.

Daenna Paz

12-15-2008, 12:04 AM

Without actually bringing the subject up, I feel like I am "on the outside looking in" as far as gauging her feelings about CDing. And that is a step that I am not ready to take yet.

victoriamwilliams1

12-15-2008, 12:13 AM

Mine cannot understand why a man wants to dress as a woman and thats why she has not met Victoria:)

sfwarbonnet

12-18-2008, 03:19 PM

Mine cannot understand why a man wants to dress as a woman and thats why she has not met Victoria:)

Ditto. I'm working on that though, as I want to go out in public as a woman and use the ladies restroom with her, and then have sex en femme.

Helen2407

12-18-2008, 03:31 PM

Hi everyone, my wife finds the mere thought that I should be dressing ,to be in her words totally repugnant. I therefore have to conceal every aspect of crossdressing , even my visits to this site.

I do so agree with a earlier comment , do not wait to tell your partner/wife , do it either early in the relationship if not before or say nothing at all ...my biggest regret is that i was not honest enough to tell her before we were married , either way it would have been easier now.

sfwarbonnet

12-19-2008, 02:12 PM

Hi everyone, my wife finds the mere thought that I should be dressing ,to be in her words totally repugnant. I therefore have to conceal every aspect of crossdressing , even my visits to this site.

Glad to know that I'm not the only CD that conceals visits to this site

I am gradually getting my wife used to seeing me in women's clothes. I usually wear panties, pantyhose, and a short slip inder panta and a top. In the evening I take off the pull on pants and change the top to a long tee. This has exolved from women's pull-on pants, which are easier to pull up that men's brlted pants, and pantyhose to avoid the indentations in the legs that socks often cause. Pull-on pants and pantyhose lead to panties and a short slip as panties are lighter ikan men's briefs and the fly isn't needed, but short shirttails often pull out exposing panties, pantyhose, and bare skin, and a slip solves this and it makes pulling up pants easier. My finding are posted in the Suitable Clothing thread, and my wife "bought into" this and, in fact, bought most of my femme clothes. Next, I need to find an "excuse" to routimrly wear a bra, like finding a short bra slip or a faux-collar bra.

bullride84

12-21-2008, 11:47 PM

good to see so many accepting wifes. Life will be more easier that way.

In btwn I am male. Admirer of people who will be what they want to be.

joann426

12-22-2008, 12:06 AM

my wife just tolorates it just in the house i can wear a bra and a nice top and leggens blue jeans she dont say a thing to me about wearing a nite shirt and a pushup bra in the morning whenshe comes home from work:heehee:

ColleenShivas

12-22-2008, 12:11 AM

Count me among those with an understanding and accepting wife. She lets me dress frequently at home, and enjoys the female companionship that I can never give her in my usually-stressed male mode. She will not agree to going out together, and although I often think it would be fun, there is too much chance that we would meet people we know, or that I would be "read."

On the upside, she will go shopping with me (in drab) and give advice about purchases to use at home. It helps to have a female companion when browsing the lingerie section. The SAs at check-out do not seem to notice the size discrepancy

JoAnne Wheeler

12-27-2008, 11:35 AM

For years my spouse was totally against my dressing up. Even to thepoint of causing me to make my "Great Purge of 95." Then I went 12 years without dressing - awful time. Then, over the last 18 months, the urge came back stronger than ever. After my spouse say how this was affecting me, she has changed for the better.
JoAnne Wheeler

susan fuller

12-27-2008, 11:43 AM

My wife accepts it but does not quite understand. She buys more close for Susan than I do. When we go shopping she is always looking for dresses and other girly things for me. I love her and am glad I have such a loving wife.

Katrina red nails

12-28-2008, 04:50 PM

My wife knew of my liking for female clothes but was confused and didn't understand too much and certainly didn't know how strong my feelings had become. With the help of the how to tell your partner sticky and a couple of links contained therein we had a really long talk and she felt re-assured and is fine with it now albeit with restrictions (mainly no-one else to know and within the house only) so i am as happy as can be and have been in feminine attire since boxing day:). (The kids away at their mums). Bubble bursts tomorrow though back to work in boring mens gear.

Sedona

12-28-2008, 04:59 PM

Can't remember if I answered before. Anyways, told her 6 months into dating, and we've been together for four years (newlyweds).

She's basically fine with it. I don't want to transition, and for me, it's a casual thing (panties most days, dress fully every month or so, and do a full makeover a few times a year).

It was a bit touchy at first, but as I came out early, my wife trusts me, doesn't think I'm gay (not that that's a bad thing), and buys me panties every now and then as gifts. We've had sex while I'm dressed a few times (a lot of fun BTW).

I think the thing she doesn't like so much is me shaving my legs/pits. But, we compromise, and I shave/wax only a few months out of the year.

All about compromises!!!

inherthings

12-29-2008, 03:31 AM

I'm really not sure were my wife stands on my CD'ing. Its funny we have been married 21 years. She has known since before we married. She helps me with shopping. But we really don't talk about it much. I work out of my home so i dress while she is at work. But i don't rush to change back to guy mode when she gets home. But i don't stay dressed around her often. I talked to her about going to get a full makeover and she is willing to come with me. When i told her the makeup would be applied by a makeup pro. She joked she might pick up some tips she can use on herself. I guess she is ok with it . Maybe its me. Guess we should talk about it more. I know i love her more life itself.

Shikyo

12-29-2008, 09:40 AM

My wife has been rather supportive about this matter. In the beginning she was kinda against me actually wanting to become fully female, she said the same kind of reasons as some of you have experienced, like "I did not marry a women". In the end she realized, that I am not going to change. I will be the same person she first fall in love with you. In fact, her biggest worry was not the fact that I would have the girl's crotch or breasts or anything of that sort. She was worried about me actually leaving her for a "guy".
After having made her clear, that I am not intending to leave her, especially for a guy, she has changed totally. Now she even jokes with it, like by telling me that I look better in her skirt, than she does or does this mean I can be the man in the house now?

I am very lucky, and very lucky to have found her. Though, I have to admit we two have a rather special bound to each other because of the hardships we went through just to get married.
I'm originally from Finland, but used to live in Germany and in Japan. She's from Hawai'i. Through a longe range of coincidences, we met over the internet. We first met in Japan, she moved to Germany I came after her. For while she lived alone, but then we moved in together got married and moved out from Germany back to Finland.

I think this hardships of actually being able to be together has helped our relationship a lot. We both love each other, the way we are. The way she is treating my and my plans is just so lovely, and I doubt I will ever be able to repay it back to her as I do not think there's anything in the world I could give to her, for the support she has given to me.

The least what I can do for her, is her request for me not to change my voice. The only thing she ever asked me, which I will gladly grant her. I can live with my current voice, if that makes it possible for her to live and love with me becoming a girl. I own my wife my life...

Cathytg

12-29-2008, 05:33 PM

My wife is awesome!

She understands that dressing is a part of my gender orientation and that it means that I am far more gentle and empathetic than any man she has ever met. She has told me so many times that she loves all of me. At this moment I am fully dressed while reformatting her computer and she is in the kitchen baking. Life seems pretty good.

But consider this: This short thread has generated a huge number of responses. Ponder that for a moment.

Christa001

12-29-2008, 07:37 PM

My wife has known for 25 yrs and is fine with it all.Says i can go out but carefully as we live in a small town..........
Will buy me things when i ask her to.I dont push my boundries as im allowed to dress how i want but have kids to deal with as well so i have to be careful.She wants me to have some CD freinds to do things with :).
She wont help with make-up...says im better at it than she is..( i dont think i am)I am ok with this.If asked about full time- really dont think that will happen ...I love my wife and am so lucky to have her!!!!

Angie G

12-29-2008, 09:31 PM

Chole my storie is the same hun And I love it.:hugs:
Angie

Rachel E

12-30-2008, 12:31 AM

I have been CDing since i was about 14yr old and my wife of 47rys did not know of my CDing as far as i know. I am married again for the past 2 1/2 yrs and when i started dating the lady i told her of my desire to dress incloth of the oposite sex. When i told her i gave her the option to leave and i told her i would understand. Her comment was even if i did i was still me whether i was dressed or not. Yes she is very understanding and does let me go out with my other CD'rs to differant functions. She has even helped my purchess cloth advising me on what is right and what would look go with this or that. I have my ears pierced and she was not realy happy with that but she does tolerate it.
Love to all
Rachel E
Spokane, Wa

Mercedes

12-30-2008, 01:22 AM

Count my SO in the "Don't ask, Don't tell" crowd. After 17 years she has not got more accepting but has also not let it interfere with me dressing as long as she doesn't know when I am doing it. Having said that, we do have a compromise in place where I can sleep in something three set nights a week so she knows when it is going to happen.

It works for us and since for me, dressing is a relatively small part of my life compared to work, family and friends, I am usually satisfied, occasionally surprised and sometimes frustrated.

Mercedes XOXOXO

melanieee

12-30-2008, 03:41 AM

My 2nd wife knew prior to wedding, was ok with it, has bought me panties on occasion.Dont dress in more than panties with her,her only son has transitioned fully, she went with him to Thailand for the op.So she is a bit worried that 'here we go again'.Its more of a lingerie fetish,I dont push it at all,dress at home only when she is out and time permits.Im happy with the way things are,love her to bits,and dont want to screw up.

cheers and a prosperous 2009! Melanieee

Kelsy

12-30-2008, 04:03 AM

I told my wife before we got married. She knows, accepts encourages, participates. She loves me unconditionally as I love her. Life is good!:)

Kelsy

PretzelGirl

12-30-2008, 10:25 AM

We were married a long time before a little playing around with her got me wearing a thing or two. She encouraged it at that point and it evolved into complete dressing (I had been there before pre-marriage).

Now I can't complain. She is supportive, but it is my thing and not hers. I can do it around the house, but no venturing out, at least at this point. Oh, and the moustache stays!

Katrina red nails

12-30-2008, 03:37 PM

Despite my happy post a couple of days ago its back to square 1 with my wife. Its probably my own stupid fault for going too quick. She runs a mail order catalogue and her January sale brochure popped through the letterbox. I picked a couple of tops and skirts i liked and asked if she would order them(the account is in her name so i couldn't do it myself). She has ordered them for me but has really laid in to me over the whole thing with the "I didnt marry a woman etc". Up to now i have only worn bedroom wear/house robe not outside wear. My current status is "do it but keep it away from me". I like Mercedes idea of 3 agreed nights sleeping dressed. My desire to crossdress is so strong and stems back from ealy childhood and has really burst to the forefront now. I honestly can't stop but hope, like some other posts in this thread, things get better with time.

Ricochet

12-31-2008, 10:35 AM

My wife knows that I like to dabble with CD'ing. She is tolerant at best and prefers that I keep it out of sight and mind. It's been 20 years since I've fully dressed up. I mostly underdress and occasionally get to wear a silky nightgown to bed (without the wife's knowledge). I have no desire to dress full-time. I enjoy very much being a man. I just like to occasionally wear feminine things.

I started when I was 13. Found my mother's lingerie drawer and couldn't keep my hands off of her satin panties, slips, and camisoles. I dabbled with them for the next couple of years.

Once I moved away, I didn't think much about it until I found a pair of panties mixed in with my washed clothes one day. Apparently, my female roommate (friend only) at the time left them in the clothes dryer. I put them on and got an immediate rush. I've since gotten married (to someone else) and have been wearing her lingerie for the past 23 years.

She is aware, but doesn't want to be involved with it. I would love for her to feel comfortable with me wearing lingerie. I let her "catch" me 20 years ago. That was my way of telling her my secret. She took it pretty well at the time, even bought me a couple of items. Then, I guess she decided it wasn't something she wanted to be involved with and let me know.

I have let her "catch" me a few times over the years to see if her closed mind may have opened up any with time. Sorry to say, it hasn't, so I'll keep doing my thing and keep it to myself.

Take care everyone.

diannecourtney

12-31-2008, 11:50 AM

:sad:No there is no happiness there. Had to quell the fire by buying a fixer-up retirement villa in AZ., just wondering what will happen when the ol' painter finishes the paint and bed room which we no longer share. Happy New Year to all:):):)

almalove

12-31-2008, 12:14 PM

Mine does not know, and I think I'll keep it like that, too risky to even think what would happen.

Alma

glynnis

12-31-2008, 12:43 PM

I am totally blessed my wife knows and encourages me to dress fully,advises me on make up and buys me clothes.

Petra Bellejambes

12-31-2008, 01:20 PM

When it emerged she engaged in a confused way. I think the really wild physicality of the lovemaking helped. But I hit the gas pedal too hard too fast some years ago. The sight of me in dress just disturbed her. And I understand that.

Petra has been invisible to my wife in large part as a result of that experience. What we have is too valuable even measured against the enormous pleasure that Petra gives and gets being Petra for herself (sorry about the 3rd person narrative - the author really does not have a split personality disorder....:))

I can so understand her feelings. Me en femme must seem like a "bait and switch". I can also understand the feelings of self doubt that me en femme could engender .. "whats wrong with me that I could not find a real man?"

So, for those of you falling in love, please please tell this important person up front. Out of respect for her (or him), and out of respect for the unsinkable will of your other self. 3 really is a crowd....

Katrina red nails

12-31-2008, 05:17 PM

Have agreed times with wife when i can disappear to the bedroom and do whatever i want. When i came downstairs tonight after my first session the first thing she said was "what did you wear". Fingers crossed this is a good omen for the future.

Sandie43

12-31-2008, 05:44 PM

My wife is very accepting she buys me clothes and make up as little surprises for me, we also go out shopping for things together. We go out together while I am dressed and thinks I should do it more.
As for living full time I would have to say what will be will be.
Sandie :hugs:

gillian1968

12-31-2008, 06:16 PM

I'm one of the lucky ones here, my wife is accepting and supportive. She learned about my crossdressing early in our relationship (before we were married). For the first 14 years or so we didn't talk about it much, it was just something I did mostly on my own. Over the past couple years she's come to enjoy Gillian's company.

I think a few things came together in my case:

1. Our relationship was open from the beginning, and while my wife didn't initially understand it over the years she came to see that it wasn't a threat to our relationship (ie. I'm not gay, and while pursuing a low level hrt I don't intend to remove my male equipment) - this wasn't something that surprised her or caught her off guard

2. Over the past couple years, we've talked more openly about it, why I do it, how it makes me feel, how it makes her feel, etc. This has helped us see what the future might bring so there shouldn't be any surprises for either of us.

3. She has an open mind, has gay friends, and is happy to explore her bi-sexual feelings with me en-femme - she is completely comfortable because I'm still the person she married and we remain completely devoted to each other.

Over the past few months we've begun exploring going out and me presenting more completely as a woman, and she's mentioned that I'm kind of like the sister she never had. We love shopping together, whether I'm dressed or not, clothes, makeup, jewelry. When we buy something we establish right away whether it's going to be a shared item or exclusively for her or Gillian.

While I would be comfortable myself being a full-time female, it just isn't possible in my social situation. We have 3 children and I won't do anything that might disrupt their lives. They don't know yet, but they will one day. We've raised them to have an open mind, and I think they'll understand when the time comes. I have my own business, and have tried to hire open-minded staff but I can't jeopardize the company with such an announcement, and I'm not yet able to step away from it and have it run on its own.

As the years go on, I expect to spend more time as Gillian. But this could be another 10-20 years away for me.