Crossdressing and the internet -- a force for good or evil

[Toni_Lynn]

Docrobbysherry's thread about feeling dirty got me thinking about something. In as much as the internet is host to great places like this board, and has enable many of us to feel better about ourselves that we ever have before, it has also had a terrible effect on crossdressing, and has a lot that can make us feel dirty. One need only look at the rubbish associated with crossdressing at a place like Yahoo Groups. The net by its nature, allows us to safely open up to others, but in the hands of some people this anonymity has emboldened people to do things that they wouldn't do in public. By that, I mean to say, isn't the posting of a picture of your genitals on a Yahoo group similar to posting them on a cork bulletin board in public.

Certainly, I can understand how one's SO could start to do some research on crossdressing on the net and see some things that would scare the daylights out of them, and give them a totally wrong impression.

What do you think, is the internet mostly a good thing for crossdressers, or mostly a bad thing?

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Deborah Jane]

What do you think, is the internet mostly a good thing for crossdressers, or mostly a bad thing?

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

I think it,s mostly a good thing, you just need to find a site the fits your particular needs.

For me, this site suits me perfectly for many reasons and on many levels, i kind of feel like i,m with family here :)

Other sites i,ve looked at have made me realise i,m quite naive really when it comes to some things in life.

So, i think it,s a good thing for all of us, it just depends what we,re looking for!

[LACD]

Like anything else, the net is both good and bad. After I fully came out to wife, we looked on the net about CD'ing. She got a pretty good cross section about us and she has accepted my feminine side. I know she saw some outlandish things but probably not as much as we have seen at Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Just my $0.02.

[PamelaTX]

Other sites i,ve looked at have made me realise i,m quite naive really when it comes to some things in life.

Me too. Over the years I've come to realize there are a lot of things I don't want to be sophisticated about.

As far as the Internet goes, it is a tool that can be used for good or evil. When information of all sorts is instantly available, necessarily some of it will be bad. By the same token, when you can instantly express your opinion to everyone in the world, it gives jerks the opportunity to be ever so much more so.

But the ability to communicate instantly also gives rise to sites like this one. I think the trade-off is worth it.

[Niya W]

This is what it did for me. It let me see that there are others out there like me. I'm not freak, not mistake. I dont need to hide. It give me access to resources that I would other wise not know existed. It also allowed to to find others like me and get out of the house. I didn't need to hide. There are other like me that except who they are and proud to be trans. I saw successful trans folks. Not that Jerry springer crap.

[Kate Simmons]

This site is for sure because we can talk openly and honestly with friends. The rest of the net is iffy as far as I'm concerned.

[Angie G]

As in as much as it lets us find others like us the good upstanding people it's a good thing. I can see what you saying and agree it can also be a very bad thing. There are always going to be jerks that misuse whatever that use and that's a sad thing.:hugs:
Angie

[Sara Jessica]

The internet is good for the positive things out there. Sites such as this, and the vast amount of information which is now readily available compared to when I was in my formative years. I've said before, I'd bet a ton of money that had this much information been accessible to me back then, I would have been much more likely to transition in my early 20's.

The internet is bad for the obvious negativity that many gravitate towards. But I also think it cuts into support and social group activity. There seemed to be a lot more groups to choose from back in the 90's. Now it seems that one can lead a content and perhaps fulfilling tg existence by not seeking face to face contact with others where before that was pretty much our only choice if interaction was desired.

[cdmindymi]

Yes there is some bad things on the net about us. If we remember the time before the net it was a lot worse. Everyone though that we were gay at the best, pervert by most people. I think that in time the general public will learn more about us for what we really are. What the net has done for us tg personally is far greater than the damage it has done. I wish I had the net when I was 20.

[Sharon]

Docrobbysherry's thread about feeling dirty got me thinking about something. In as much as the internet is host to great places like this board, and has enable many of us to feel better about ourselves that we ever have before, it has also had a terrible effect on crossdressing, and has a lot that can make us feel dirty.

This is why we sometimes seem overly strict with what can and can not be posted here. There are just too many places that exploit the uglier side of life and we want this forum to be a place someone doesn't need to be embarrassed to visit and interact with like-minded people.

There is nothing about crossdressing or transgenderism that should make anyone ashamed of themself, even if they have no intention of ever sharing this part of their life with another person in the "real world." By only visitiing the sleazier sites, how could anyone ever feel like anything other than a sleaze themselves?

[Charlena]

As in as much as it lets us find others like us the good upstanding people it's a good thing. I can see what you saying and agree it can also be a very bad thing. There are always going to be jerks that misuse whatever that use and that's a sad thing.:hugs:
Angie
Yes I agree.

[JacquiUKTV]

IMHO, the internet is overwhelmingly a force for good, and most especially because of sites such as this.

Without wishing to bore you too much with my woes can I just say this? I'm 57 and so my childhood was thru the 50s, my adolescence thru the 60s and I moved into adulthood in the 70s.

Throughout all of those years, and especially against the background of an "Irish-tinged" Catholic upbringing I was aware of my "issues", i.e. that I wasn't quite what my parents or peers would have preferred me to be as regards my gender-identification.

In those days, obviously there was no internet and nowhere to turn for a young person with gender-dysphoria. A boy with notions about dressing like his sister was simply a "fxcking poof" in the eyes of the world and would have been treated as such if he ever found the courage to disclose to anyone about his innermost feelings.

Please remember, homosexuality was only (partially) legalised in 1967 in the UK and there were many who opposed that small emancipation and who nurtured feelings of hatred and resentment long after.

I'm not gay as it happens but would be proud to say so if I were; I don't mean to use the word in any pejorative sense. I'm simply pointing out that according to the attitudes of those times being a TV was "all the same thing". A boy that likes to dress like a girl??? " Haw-haw...must be a fxcking poof" as i said earlier.

The value of the internet to me is that people like myself who in an earlier time were forced to regard ourselves as "perverts" or at the least "pariahs" or "untouchables" now have the benefit of being able to enjoy social contact with others who have similar preferences....are of a similar disposition and IMHO that can only be a good thing.

The suppressive and ultimately-ignorant attitudes of earlier eras served no purpose whatsoever, really, other than to cause distress and misery to a great many decent, intelligent and worthy people whose only "sin" was to differ from the perceived "majority" as regards their self-perception of their gender-identification or dressing-preference and IMHO the internet has played a major and vital role in bringing about a saner, healthier world environment in that respect.


Thank you for reading. God Bless :love: Jacqui.

[Jocelyn Renee]

Like everything else, it's the human element that makes something good or bad. The power of the Internet comes from its ability to make connections. How many of us had no idea that we were not alone in the world prior to discovering kindred spirits on the Internet? Unfortunately, like any tool, humans have a way of twisting things into something ugly and profane. Hopefully those who know us best are capable of discerning the differences between a site like this and a semi-shady Yahoo group.

[Jemanda]

For those of us sitting in places where certain things are frowned upon (a nice way to put it), the net proved to be an eye opener because we suddenly found that there were others like ourselves in the world and we could interact with some of them and learn from them. It very rarely put us in contact with anybody else from our country but there certainly were Brits and Americans and Aussies out there who we could admire from a distance and hope to emulate. Sadly tho, the net has deteriorated a point where its useability is being threatened by spam, junk, virus mongers and people who's agenda is less than that desired. I still havent bumped into another CDer from here (although there are a few on this board) bus I live in hope.

[charlie]

The internet has sites for anything. Porn is unfortunately a big part of the internet because it is so profitable. Saying the internet is bad for crossdressers is like saying the internet is bad for marriage. So much on unfaithful wives and husbands, partners that want sex, cheaters...ect. This forum has been a great thing for me. I (like Doc Sherry) felt badly that I was doing such an outlandish thing as dressing as a lady and then going out in public. I joined this forum and found that at least half of us do that and many just dress and hit the street during the day! I love this forum and all of you that post here. Thanks for helping to save my sanity. It makes crossdressing not a deviant behavior carried on because of some crazy mixed up notion in my head, but something that lots of normal hetrosexual males do.

[Jess_cd32]

Maybe this was covered as I just beezed thru this thread quick, but each CD has their own uniqueness, if some are showing their genitals on Yahoo 360, well they have that freedom, even though I don't agree with it either.

At least they should wait till they meet someone they like first if their going to do that, but obviously that's what happens to turn them on apparently and their free to do so. Like it or not, that's a right I don't want anyone to lose, freedom is a great thing for everyone, not censorship.

On the good side, I think the net has been the greatest thing that could ever have happened for us cd's. We get a chance to talk w/ like minded people, realize we are not alone in cd-ing, and like alot get a chance to show off pics we have of ourselves which I know I enjoy seeing and sharing (till the pic stealing trolls come along)

I've seen some really dramatic transformations here and they give hope to others that would like to reach that level of look, with knowlege and practice, all of which they can learn here, they can become the best they can be. I think its a great thing.

[Carin]

Long long long before the internet, some thoughtful people recognized the importance of Freedom of Speech (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_of_speech_in_the_United_States). The internet is a wealth of knowledge. We are all using it right here right to express ourselves. Yet the impetus, growth and success of the internet is largely due to porn. That freedom of speech enabled a library (the internet) that just was unfathomable a few decades ago. Intelligence gives us the ability to differentiate between trash and value. We make our own choice over what is good or evil, and so it should be. IMHO, television and organized media (so many trash mags) have done more damage to the image of transgender people than the internet. With the internet you have a real choice over what to view/read/research.

Enter crossdressing or transgender into the popular search engines and the first page is a wealth of real and valuable information, not trash or porn sites.

All of my children have computers, and use the internet very effectively. They have the ability to know what is trash and what is not. They make that decision, not the interent. I am quite comfortable to have my kids research crossdressing and transgender on the internet. Yes, viruses and spam are a pain, but the tools to manage that are readily available. Its not perfect.
To answer your question "is the internet mostly a good thing for crossdressers, or mostly a bad thing", IMHO, it is a good thing. Restriction of knowledge and information is a bad thing.

[gennee]

This was the first site I subscribed to shortly after coming out. I have been educated, coraged and challenged by the good folks here. The 'net is a force for both good and evil. There are a lot of wicked and evil sites on the net. Each person tries to find their own niche and will stay with whatever rocks their world.

I'm thankful for sites like this because I can encourage others who may be struggling. No one should be ashamed of who they are.

Gennee


:)

[Crystal Alberta]

I admit that I don't have much to compare with, as my pre-internet crossdressing experience was pretty limited. I had only been dressing for a couple of years before I first got online. That said, while I admit that the internet certainly has its downsides, I think it's been hugely beneficial to crossdressers. For those of us who don't go out, it gives us a place where we can be ourselves, and express this side of our lives in the company of others who understand. We wouldn't otherwise have such an opportunity. And for those who do go out, think of the encouragement found online. You don't have to spend much time on this site before coming across someone whose decision to go out was spurred by kind words online.

While the internet can serve as a meeting place for people with negative or harmful views, I don't really think these people are having much of an impact where we're concerned. It seems to me that public acceptance of crossdressing, and so-called "alternative lifestyles" in general, is (slowly) increasing. Certainly, I think it's fair to say that the younger (more technologically-inclined) generations are generally more accepting of us than their parents or grandparents. I don't know whether the internet is a major factor in this or not, but it doesn't seem to be hurting things.

Personally, it's hard for me to imagine my life without the 'net. I'd still be dressing up, but I'd be doing it without the support that I've found online, and without the knowledge of just how many others there are like me.

Crystal